Summary: Killian comforts Emma when she wakes up from a nightmare.
A/N: FINE. I wrote short angst with a happy ending. There, @kmomof4 @cosette141 . Lol 😘😘 And thank you K for betaing. ❤️
Warnings: nightmares, brief mentions of violence/death (but no one is actually harmed)
Rated: T; Words: 485; AO3
——
“Killian!”
Emma awoke with a start, sitting up in a tearful panic, her cheeks wet, scrambling to figure out where she was. Clutching at the sheets, she found herself safe in their bed, Killian sleeping soundly next to her.
The relief of seeing him there calmed her breathing though she couldn’t stop trembling, and she was glad she hadn’t woken him this time. Her sleep had been plagued by nightmares more often than not anymore, which made for countless restless nights for them both.
In her dreams, she’d watched him torn from her arms again and again in the worst ways, her subconscious deciding she didn’t deserve him, didn’t deserve happiness and comfort after a lifetime of being lost and alone. As it drew from their reality and the ways she’d already lost him, she’d had to see him shot, impaled, drowned, tortured.
Tonight, his heart had been ripped from his chest by the man on whom he’d sworn to get revenge. Emma begged for him to let Killian go, even pleading that he take her instead, but he crushed it anyway, laughing while sobs wracked her body as Killian’s collapsed in front of her.
Now she intently watched his chest rise and fall, making sure he was truly alright. Lying back down next to him again, Emma carefully placed her hand there, a light touch she hoped wouldn’t stir him, feeling his heart beating under her palm. Her fingers absently toying with his necklace as she snuggled closer to his side.
Emma gasped softly as his hand moved to rest on hers, his fingers gently clasping it as he lifted her hand to his lips for a kiss before holding it tighter against his chest, knowing how it comforted her.
“I’m alright, love,” he reassured her. “We’re alright.”
“I’m sorry.” Emma’s voice was barely a whisper, apologetic. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I just—it was bad again, and I—I needed to check.”
“You’ve nothing to apologize for.” Killian smiled as he opened his eyes and turned toward her, glancing down between his legs. “I was just having a very different dream.”
“Of course you were,” Emma teased, rolling her eyes before kissing him softly.
What started rather chaste quickly became much more, both of them desperate for each other in the same way for different reasons. Emma kept her hand on his chest while the other anchored in his hair. Killian rolled them both, straddling her waist as he kissed away her tears, his palm cradling her head as he leaned his weight on his blunted wrist planted firmly on the mattress. Soon she bucked up into him, needing to touch more of him, and he ground down against her.
“I’m here, my darling,” Killian rasped, his voice still laced with the last remnants of sleep, though Emma could feel he was very much awake. “Let me show you I’m here.”
Angsty August 2022 | Captain Swan Fic & Art Event!! (Bring tissues)
Banner made by @undercaffinatednightmare
Announcing an unofficial Captain Swan event: Angsty August 2022!
To participate: write, draw, make a fanvid - create anything you want that is mildly, moderately or severely angsty. Make readers cry. 😆 Whatever you consider to be angsty counts!
However, and this is very important, THERE MUST BE A HAPPY ENDING*. We must cry sad tears, then we get to cry happy tears. 🥺😭🥹 (*this just applies to fics and fanvids! Art can be straight angst!)
*Happy Ending (noun): the ending of a story or series of events in which the people involved are happy or all problems are solved. (**Also okay if the angsty situation has at least been made better, even if it's not totally solved by the end, so the characters (and readers) at least get comfort and feel better.)
There is no signup and no post date to adhere to, so just post your work any day in August! Please use the hashtag #csangstyaugust22 and tag me, @cosette141 !! Also remember to add it to the collection on AO3!
For those wondering why there is a photo of Pinocchio in the banner: when we came up with the name Angsty August, we also realized there's a character named August in the show, and saying Angsty August brings about the image of a sad Pinocchio.
Therefore, you get bonus points if you add Pinocchio/August into even one tiny bit of your fic or art xD (though points will not be awarded in this unofficial event. If anything, your reward will be tears of readers.) 😆
Summary; the story of how Harry Hook was stolen away from his parents, Captain Swan, and taken to another dimension along with his uncle Chad-- only to be returned to them years later.
Trigger warning; Kidnapping 2x, feelings of loneliness, crying, attempts at self multiation, child neglect, child abuse, etc.
"Are we sure he's not a clone? Because he looks just like you, Killian" Emma joked softly, smiling down at the positively tiny bundle in her arms.
"I rather hope he doesn't look just like me. I'd hate to explain to your parents why our newborn has a beard" the pirate captain quipped back, shooting her a mischievous grin.
"Oh stop it" the blonde swatted him lightly with one hand, holding their son in the other as she rolled her eyes.
"Ok, ok" He raised his hook and hand up in surrender "but in all seriousness luv, he's not a clone of me. You wanna know how I know?"
Emma raised an eyebrow "besides the obvious you mean?"
"Aye."
"Well, color me intrigued. Go on then. Tell me how you know he's not a mini clone of you"
Killian leaned over her shoulders and carefully pulled back the edge of the towel that was covering their son's face before pointing at it. "There. Right there. He has your face. Your skin tone. Your ears--"
Chadwick laid curled around Harrison, pale chin resting atop strains of black hair. Curly blonde hair sticking up all over the place, arms wrapped around the smaller infant in his to-go crib that Emma got for when he was staying over at her parents for the night.
David let out a sigh of relief and called out to his wife, who was still frantically searching through the living room with their other son and granddaughter.
Killian arose with the sun, changed into his work clothes, and changed Harrison's diaper before carting him and his toy hook off to the kitchen were he settled him down in his highchair.
From which Harrison babbled at him as he made breakfast. Happy and unable to sit still, an urge to escape and explore rushing through his veins as Hope shuffled in. Hair a mess as she placed a kiss on Harrison's forehead-- their 3 legged golden retriever, Indiana Bones, hot on her trail.
Emma following not long after, half asleep and ready for work.
They ate breakfast, put the dishes in the sink, and got the kids ready for the day ahead.
Dropping Hope off at school where Snow and little Neal ,or Leo as he preferred, were waiting to walk her in like they did every day before doing the same with Harrison at the day care. Where a very excited Chadwick was waiting with a frazzled looking Nova.
They went to the station, greeted David, and got to work. Doing paperwork, answering calls, going out into the field. Nothing major occurring. Nothing to clue them on what was about to happen.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE GONE?!" Emma yelled almost frantic at the nun, craining her neck to see into the empty classroom.
"Emma, I know you're upset--"
If it wasn't for Killian, the blonde was sure she would have throttled the woman in front of her. The woman who was supposed to have been watching her baby brother and son. The same woman who was now saying that they were gone and she didn't know where they went.
"I mean they're gone. Not here" Nova replied meekly, not looking at the duo. "You... you picked them up hours ago.."
"WELL OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T BECAUSE I'VE BEEN AT WORK WITH MY HUSBAND AND FATHER ALL DAY!" Emma snapped, as Killian pulled her back. Already texting Her parents and Henry, telling them to get a search party ready.
"It was you! A-at least she looked like you..." Nova protested weakly. "How was I supposed to know she wasn't you?"
The savior had to admit that the nun had a point. But that didn't quell the fury she felt at all. So she just spun around and stormed out, tears welling up in her eyes before she said something she'd regret.
"I dream about them, you know" Emma whispered to him one sleepless night as they laid in bed. Too tired to get up but too sad to sleep.
"Who?" Killian asked, even though he already knew the answer.
"Harrison and Chadwick."
"Oh? What are they like? The dreams I mean?" He questioned, eager to know more. Needing something to take his mind off of the dark places it kept venturing into.
"They're... oddly colorful. Like eye bleeding levels of colorful that doesn't fit the vibe of the places they show." He leaned closer to her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close.
"And the places. They're... lonely..."
"Lonely?" Killian asked baffled.
"Like, both places are full to the brim with people but every one is on edge. Their walls up high. Like mine were"
"Oh.."
"And the boys, they're separated. One in each place. Harrison's on a flithy island with 3 girls he calls his sisters and a crew to back him... And Chadwick's in a castle, surrounded by people who call themselves' his friends. A-and they're both fighting a silent losing battle with themselves, knowing they don't quite belong but not knowing why" Emma began to tear up, feeling hopeless.
Killian wanted to comfort her but didn't know how. How could he, when he was feeling just as hopeless and worthless as she was?
Every so often, Emma would mention these dreams of hers but only ever to him.
Chadwick's insecure and is starting to bully other children.
Harrison is losing his sanity and keeps trying to get a crocodile to bite off his hand.
The adults they live with aren't good to them. Chadwick's guardians ignore him in favor of their biological daughter and Harrison's has fits of rage where he slashes at him and the girls with his hook.
The boys cry themselves to sleep every night.
They keep getting rejected by the boys and girls they like.
Chadwick tried to get a girl expelled because of her parentage after using her to cheat.
Harrison and his crew kidnapped a boy king.
Harrison still has his hook and jumped in polluted, shark and crocodile infested water after it.
Chadwick teamed up with the girl who broke his heart to get revenge on the kingdom only to be mistreated by her.
Harrison fought a group of knights and helped save a kingdom and free Chadwick.
Killian both savored and dreaded every dream Emma shared with him. Not sure whether or not these dreams were healthy or if even entertaining the idea that they might be real was cause for concern.
Not sure whether or not he wanted the dreams to be real.
Not sure whether or not this was a sign that the boys were alive and making their way back to them.
He soon got his answer, 17 years after the boys had been lost, when the doorbell rang on his and Emma's day off.
Killian reluctantly got up and answered the door, with Emma right behind him. Befuddled by the sight that met them.
Because there, on the porch, was a small group of people young adults. A boy dressed in red, white, and black standing at the front-- fidgeting with a hand held hook. He had Killian's eyes, nose, and hair. And Emma's face and ears.
And that nervous smile of his, a mix of their own. As blue eyes met blue eyes. "Hi. I'm Harr'. Harr' Hook... and yer son"
And behind him stood a boy with long curly, dirty, blood hair and familiar eyes dressed in blue. Grinning like her mother did.
"Hello sister of mine".
At long last, their prayers had been answered. Their boys were home.
This was supposed to be for Angsty August, but…..life happened.
Swan’s Last Song
(I am unaware of Crawdads in Maine so Where the Crawdads Sing didn’t make sense)
Hints of violence, abuse, and non-con but I kept it vague. Biggest shocker - I didn’t curse 😱
1956
Killian leaned on the doorway and watched the love of his life and daughter walk through the water as it lapped against their ankles. Every now and again, five-year old Alice stopped and pointed at something by her toes. Her mother picked up the object and told whatever stories or magic she knew of the shells before they returned it to the ocean.
It had taken him 20 years to find his happy ending. Now that he had it, he was never letting go.
The ship he’d spent years restoring was moored not far from the cabin they were clearing out.
When they decided to return to the place they both once called home, he offered to finish clearing her former home of anything personal. Soon, the place that had been her isolation would be sold and the last tether of darkness removed from their lives. He found himself anxiously waiting for a time when they no longer needed to look back.
Eyes the color of sea glass met his and the smile that brought sunshine into his life lit the face of the woman he loved. She turned her attention back to their little Starfish and he returned to his task.
The cabin had always been rough and dilapidated, but 10 years without even the minimal care she’d been capable of, left it ready to fall about his ears. The only place left to clean out was the corner she used for storage. Her small library that had once been so precious to them both had been left to mold and rot in the elements. Like he’d been during the years without her.
His eyes fell to the worn copy of Peter Pan sat on the shelf alone. Faded edges of the postcards he sent her over the years peeked out from the pages. Tears blurred his vision as he opened the book. In all their years apart, he’d only sent the same message - Wish you were here. All the places he wanted to take her sat between the pages of her favorite book.
One postcard fell at his feet. The lighthouse she used to keep with the same words he’d used over and over again across the front. On the back, she’d drawn an image of two children sitting reading. The spot they met to read every day.
After his wife and daughter were sleeping soundly in the soft, fluffy bedding of their rented bedroom, he returned to the spot where they’d first fallen in love. It had been love they shared, regardless of what his father or his brother thought. Love of the sea, love of reading, love of each other.
Surprisingly, the lighthouse had been turned into an art studio with paintings and sea glass art all signed by his favorite artist - Cygnus. He shook his head and rubbed a hand over his jaw. Of all the surprises for her to have. After loading her pieces into his truck, he picked up her supply box. The lock popped open and something hit the ground.
Killian bent down and picked up the small, tarnished charm. He closed his fist around the image of a swan and shoved it into his pocket. He continued loading her things until all that was left were the ghosts.
/////////
1945
Killian gripped her slim hand tighter. “Emma, love…” Bloody hell. He couldn’t breathe. He hadn’t seen her in years, but seeing her eyes rimmed red and the resignation in her shoulders made his chest ache. “Mr. Hopper? Could I have a moment?”
“Killian! It’s good to see you again. I’m grateful you made it home in one piece.” His family lawyer smiled and shook his hand. “If it’s alright with Emma?”
Her cheeks brightened and she murmured a quiet, “It’s fine.”
Mr. Hopper led them to the room reserved for the defense counsel and nodded as he shut the door. Emma immediately looked at her hands. “I hear you’re to be congratulated.” He froze. “When is the happy day?” Her smile was still sad, but he knew she meant every word. His Emma didn’t mince words.
But she wasn’t his anymore.
“We haven’t chosen one yet.” He let out a long breath. “Emma, that’s not why - you know that’s not why I came.”
She tilted her head and watched him with those green eyes that always seemed to see into his soul. “Killian, I’ve never wanted anything other than your happiness.”
It was his turn to look down. “That’s my line, surely.” He took a deep breath and stepped closer to her. “Not a day has gone by that I didn’t think about you.”
“Killian?” Eloise sang from the hallway.
Emma nodded to the door. “She needs you, Killian.” Her whisper cut like a dagger to his heart.
“I won’t leave-“
“There you are, darling!” Eloise burst in and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Mr. Hopper was saying he knows someone who can marry us!”
He watched as the two women evaluated each other. Emma’s eyes barely seemed to flicker, but he knew from experience how quickly she could take a person’s measure with that gaze. Eloise, on the other hand, gave Emma the same inspection you would give a bug before you squash it. It was the same look he’d seen others give Emma. It still turned his stomach.
Eloise took his hand and gave him a sly smile. “Come along, let’s go meet Mr. Hopper’s friend. Maybe we can salvage this trip and do some actual wedding planning.”
Killian winced, but reluctantly followed her out. He could have sworn he heard Emma whisper, “Everyone leaves, Killian.”
His father introduced him to Eloise Gardner after he’d returned home from the war. Killian’s ship had been attacked at sea and his left hand permanently damaged. She was the opposite of Emma in almost every way. Eloise was the sort of woman his father always expected him to marry - wealthy, sophisticated, and connected.
But she wasn’t Emma.
The following day, he arrived at the courthouse early and sat in the gallery. His stomach clenched as one resident after another testified against Emma. She sat beside Hopper in a demure navy dress with a white collar. It was the most unEmma-like thing he’d ever seen her wear and for a brief, mad moment, he wanted to laugh.
Sheriff Arthur King was called to the stand and Killian tensed. The sheriff had never been a great fan of Emma’s. “Sheriff King, can you describe for the jury the manner in which you found the victim’s body?”
“Friday, October 22, we received a call from Mr. Robert Gold reporting his son, Neal, missing. He didn’t return home that morning and the family was concerned.” Sheriff King began. “Some kids found his body out by the lighthouse on the island.”
Albert Spencer, their county prosecutor, pounced on his words. “You say he was concerned. Did he have reason to be concerned about his grown son in the town of his birth?”
Killian pinched the bridge of his nose to keep from making any comments. Neal was an ass. They’d been friends as boys, but sometime after Neal’s mother left town, neither of them could stand one another.
“He told his father that a young lady was claiming to be pregnant. I dare say a father or brother about town would be nettled by this, but Neal was a virile young man.” Arthur explained. “There was only one person who was ever seen threatening him.”
“Is that person in the courtroom today?” There was a predatory gleam in Spencer’s eyes as he stared at Emma.
“She is.” Arthur nodded. “Should I point her out?”
Spencer took his glasses off and glanced at the jury. “I don’t believe that’s necessary.” He nodded at Judge Mills. “That’s all, Your Honor.”
“Mr. Hopper? Your witness.” Judge Regina Mills was formidable, but fair. At least there wouldn’t be favoritism to either side. Regina might dislike Emma, but she out right hated Spencer.
“Thank you, Your Honor.” Archie stood and walked closer to the witness stand. “Sheriff King, have you had any issues with the defendant? Any arrests or warnings?”
The sheriff shifted in the seat. “There was an emergency call years ago. I don’t remember the details.”
Archie nodded and looked at his notes. “But you do remember the nature of the call?”
“Family squabble, I believe.” Sheriff King acknowledged. “But as I said, I can’t remember the specifics. Had to have been 10 years ago at least.”
“And nothing since then?” Archie took his glasses off. “I’ve heard all the tales too. The Swan Girl. If half these tales are true, she would be a fearsome creature indeed, but I also heard tales of a young girl, abandoned and left to fend for herself on Swan Island at the tender age of seven. So, Sheriff King, I’ll ask again about that call.”
Sheriff King sighed. “You understand I’d be answering without all the facts in front of me?”
“I do.” Archie replied. “I also trust you to recall that oath you swore a moment ago.”
“That was back when my wife, Gwen, was answering phones for the the station. She said, well, she described it as a little voice, was asking for help.” Arthur explained. “Gwen said she sounded scared and asked me to go check on things.”
“And did you? Go check on things?” Archie pushed.
“Of course I did.” Arthur glared. “Mr. Teach answered the door said his daughter was playing jokes. Said she’d run away again and asked me to help him find her.”
“Were you able to find her?” He asked.
Emma was staring at her hand. She had a scar on her palm that she never told him about. “Wasn’t hard. Little girl making phone calls when her house hasn’t got a phone. She was at a neighbor’s house, hiding. She knew she’d misbehaved and didn’t want to get in trouble.”
“Do you remember how she looked when you found her?” Archie pushed again, still using that calm voice of his.
“She looked scared. I told her what happens when you play tricks on the sheriff and scare your father like that. She got those big, wide eyes like when any kid’s been caught and asked if I’d already been to her house. When I told her how scared her father was, she just stopped talking. I let her think about what she’d done and took her home.” Arthur explained.
Killian stared at the man. He’d known Sheriff King for a lifetime. He thought of him as an honorable man. But he’d missed it. Even now, he didn’t see where things had gone wrong.
“Thank you for that, Sheriff. I have one more question about that day. Did you ever tell her that the sheriff’s job was to take care of the good people and put the bad people in jail?”
“I don’t recall exactly that, but I’ve said something similar to other youngsters over the years.” Arthur acknowledged.
Killian’s heart sank. Emma’s shoulders straightened as Archie looked between her and the sheriff. “You said you never got that call again?”
“Nah and old Ed Teach took off not long after.” Archie shook his head.
“Edward took off. Do you know if he took his daughter?”
“Your Honor, is this really relevant?” Albert objected.
“I believe there’s a key point here, Your Honor, if I may continue.” Archie nodded.
“Alright, but get to your point, Counselor.” Judge Mills warned.
“Thank, Your Honor.” He nodded. “Sheriff, do you know whether or not Edward Teach took his daughter the day he left town?”
“Ed Teach only came home to run the lighthouse and collect his salary. He always said she wasn’t his anyhow. Said he came home from the war and there she was.” Arthur sounded annoyed. “And before you ask, I drove him to the train station myself and never laid yes on him again.”
“Why didn’t he take her to the orphanage when her mother left?” Archie asked.”If he didn’t want the trouble?”
“She was useful after Victoria was gone. How else was he going to get his laundry done?” Arthur shook his head. “And anyways, she took the job when he left.”
Archie looked down at his papers. Killian missed whatever the next question was. His eyes were focused on Emma as she stared straight ahead. She’d only mentioned her father once - ‘He hurt me, but now he’s gone and I’m glad’. He rubbed a hand over his face.
Was he just one more scar across her heart?
/////////
1931
Killian ran the last two blocks to school. The morning had run later than he expected and he and Liam missed the bus. It was still cold enough outside that the air burned his lungs each time he inhaled. At the doors, he stomped his feet and jumped when he heard something in the bushes. A pair of bright green eyes staring at him.
Liam arrived behind him and the mysterious eyes vanished. "Something wrong, little brother?" Liam asked following Killian's gaze over the shrubs.
"I thought I saw -" Killian trailed off before rubbing behind his ear. Maybe he imagined the green-eyed fairy.
At lunch, he studied his mother's book of fairytale as he ate. His book mentioned offering fairies food - especially bread. Would a peanut butter sandwich work? Carefully, he wrapped half the sandwich for later. Now he just needed to find her again.
The moment school let out, Killian ran for the bushes nearest the entrance. But his fairy wasn't there. Deciding the search was too important to wait, he continued looking. Eventually, he didn't recognize his surroundings. Fear filled him and he started shaking. How would he get home? How would Liam find him? What would he do for dinner?
Questions threatened to drown him as he sank to his knees. He was lost with no way back. A sob felt stuck in his chest.
"What are you doing?" A voice asked. He snapped his attention up to find the source of the voice. The leaves rustled and a girl in too big clothes slowly emerged. Her hair was long and stringy, her face streaked with dirt and it looked like her shirt was permanently the wrong color, but she watched him cautiously.
"I - I got lost." He wiped his cheek and stood up. She was a tiny thing with green eyes that blazed defiantly back at him. "Are you a fairy?"
She huffed and sat on a rock to stare at him. "What's that?"
He reached over to poke her shoulder. "Are you an angel?"
"I'm a girl." She wrinkled her nose at him.
"Oh." Killian deflated and the fear returned. "I don't know where I am. I’ve never been this far"
"It's my secret place. You can't tell nobody." She warned him hotly.
"Can you help me get home?" He tried to control the way his lip wobbled, but failed.
She sighed and walked past him. "Come on."
He followed after her quickly. As they slipped through the trees, he handed her the sandwich he saved. "I thought you were a fairy and you're supposed to give fairies food."
"How do you know so much?" She asked with a mouthful of peanut butter.
"I read it in my book." He pulled his fairytales from his bag. "Haven't you read these stories?"
She stopped dead in her tracks and stared at her worn boots that were several sizes too big for her. "I can't read."
Killian frowned at that. "But we learn in school."
"I don't go to school." She replied sounding angry. "Papa needs me at home."
He bit his lip to keep from asking all the questions now racing through his head. "I can teach you. If you want.”
She shook her head. “No one keeps their promises.”
“I will!” Killian shot back. How could she think he would keep his promise?
Tears shimmered in her eyes for a moment and she blinked them away. “Can you get home from town? I don’t like going there.”
He nodded, somehow determined to have her trust him. Thankfully, no one asked why he needed an extra sandwich. Their housekeeper accepted it easily. So Killian was able to find Emma and give her a sandwich while she showed him the secrets of Swan Island.
They settled on a spot and Emma marked the path with special shells until he could remember. Killian was excited about having a friend to read with. She liked it best when he pretended to be Captain Hook as they read Peter Pan. Liam helped him with some of the words, writing meanings in the book so he could learn it easier. So he tried to do the same for Emma.
Once they finished the book, he gave it to her as a present. The smile on her face could have lit the night sky. She threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek, making them both blush.
By summer, Emma was ready to learn to write and Miss Belle French at the library was willing to help them. She became their accomplice over the years and Emma’s only other friend.
//////////
1939
Emma pushed him back to his spot against the tree so she could finish her sketch. "Stop being weird." She tried to scowl, but he saw the way her lips twitched. "Are you going to let me finish?"
"One condition?" He asked hopefully as she arched an eyebrow at him. "Let me take you to the movies tomorrow."
Her mouth fell open. "In - in town? Killian..."
He leaned forward and caressed her cheek. "Please, love?"
She bit at her lower lip nervously. "I know what they say. I know what I am to them. Why would you want to be seen with me?"
Killian brushed a wayward curl from her face. Out here on her isolated part of Swan Island with the summer sun glittering across the water, she was absolutely stunning. Golden hair, sun-kissed skin and those green eyes that had mesmerized him from their first meeting. He'd fallen in love with his fairy girl almost instantly. "Emma, I just wanted one night to treat you like a princess."
"You're doing it again." She tilted her head into his hand. "What aren't you telling me?"
He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. "I leave for college next week. My father got me into an early placement in Vanderbilt's pre-med program."
"Killian, that's- that's great." Her watery smile was pure happiness for him. It nearly broke him.
"It means...it means I won't be able to visit, love." He let out a harsh breath. "He wants..."
"He wants you to have a life outside of Storybrooke." Her eyelashes veiled whatever was going through her head. "You should. You should have an amazing life, Killian. You deserve it."
"It's punishment because I told him I want to marry you." The magic of their secret hideaway seemed to shatter as she stood up.
"Killian..." She whispered with so much hope and hurt in her eyes, all he wanted to do was protect her from people like his father. The people who couldn't see how precious she truly was.
"I love you." He whispered into her hair. "It's not goodbye."
"Everyone leaves, Killian." She sighed and leaned into him when he wrapped his arms around her.
"Will you let me escort you on a proper date?" He kissed her forehead.
"O-okay."
Killian felt nervous preparing for his date that Friday. His father was displeased, but he relented and allowed him to drive the new coupe. Emma said to meet at the library, so he drove to town and knocked on the door. He had no idea why. He would have seen her home regardless of the journey. Miss French opened the door and smiled at him.
"Good evening, Mr. Jones." She smirked and let him inside. "She'll be down in a moment."
His nerves felt more rattled than they had earlier. Bloody hell. A quiet noise interrupted his anxious thoughts and he whirled. Emma stood with her golden hair in curls and a pink dress that didn't look like anything he'd seen her wear. Words failed him and he held his hand to his chest as she approached.
"You look..." He whispered.
Emma’s cheeks turned pink and she smiled shyly at him. "I know."
Flustered, he fumbled to hold the door open for her and practically jumped to get the car door before she did. "Allow me."
"Now you're a gentleman?" She teased.
Killian leaned closer and hummed in her ear. "I'm always a gentleman."
Emma sat beside him in the darkened theater. Their fingers laced tightly together throughout the film. He had been uncertain she would enjoy The Wizard of Oz, but he remembered how much she enjoyed reading the book together. Being tucked in the dark like this made him think of the future he wanted for them. She had seen the pain the world offered; he wanted to show her it’s wonders.
After the show, he tucked her arm into his as they walked towards the town's only diner. He was so focused on her that he almost missed the way Neal Cassidy stood in front of them, finally breaking their bubble of happiness.
If Storybrooke had a town son, it was Neal Cassidy. The son of the mayor and great-grandson of the town's founder, Neal could do no wrong - at least according to Sheriff King. Liam had been relieved when he graduated and no longer had to deal with the entitled prick. Killian had fewer run-ins being younger, but each one left him with a bitter taste.
"Well, well look who left her cave." Neal’s eyes held a predatory light that made Killian tighten his grip on Emma. He smirked at Emma, ignoring Killian entirely. "I always knew you were hiding a set of legs, Swan."
Emma tensed at the nickname. "We'll leave you to your evening, Cassidy." Killian nearly growled.
"I can take Swan home." Neal stepped closer and Killian moved to put himself between Emma and him. Cassidy laughed. "What's this, Jonesey? Did you already get a taste?"
Killian saw absolute red. He launched himself at Neal, knocking both of them to the sidewalk. For a moment all he could hear was the sound of his fist hitting Neal’s face. There was a tug on his coat and he pulled free of the fabric as Neal tried to throw him off.
Distantly, he could hear Emma screaming his name, telling them both to stop, but he couldn’t. Didn't she see it? Didn't she know how dangerous Neal was? A moment later, cold water soaked them both causing them to splutter and break away from their fight.
Emma stood with a bucket ready to douse them again. Killian had no doubt she'd use the bucket to knock sense into them if she needed to. Gods he loved her fire.
She helped Killian to his feet and glared at Cassidy. "Go home, Neal." There was a snap in her voice Killian hadn't heard in years. She kept a tight grip on his arm and practically dragged him all the way back to the library. She didn't say a word to him until Miss French opened the door and shooed them into the back. "What were you thinking?" She demanded as she cleaned the blood from his hands.
"He's dangerous, love." Killian hissed as she rubbed too hard against his knuckles. "You don't know-"
"Did you ever think that I'd be blamed?" She snapped at him. "His story will be that I started it. I-"
"Emma, all I want is to keep you safe." Killian cupped her face gently. After a moment, she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. "I know you can take care of yourself. I just don't want you to always need to."
She looked down at the blood streaked on her own fingers. "They'll take you away." She whispered.
Killian gently washed her hands clean and kissed her knuckles. "I'm yours, love. They can't stop me from loving you."
///////////
1941
Killian wanted to run straight to the lighthouse on Swan Island. Instead, he dutifully went to his father’s house. Part of him hoped his father would finally release him from his ridiculous family obligations. The other part of him knew his father still held a grudge against Emma because of the fight with Neal on their first date.
She’d always known that the consequence of interfering with Neal would be losing each other. He wanted to prove her wrong. They wouldn’t lose each other - he was hers.
Emma lived on the remote island in the rundown shack by the lighthouse. Her father had been the lighthouse keeper and in his absence, Emma began doing the job. She earned a smaller wage than the men did, but he was relieved she could afford food and other necessities when she was alone.
There was a car parked almost at her door. He didn’t recognize it, but he supposed that was bound to happen since he was in school. A shudder ran down his spine as he considered all the changes once he went to war. Neal Cassidy walked out of Emma’s house and shot a smirk back at the door. He finished buttoning his shirt as he walked to the car.
Killian felt his heart shatter across the rocks. He turned back toward town. With any luck, he’d never have to return. It wasn’t his home now.
///////////
1945
Brennan Jones sat in the chair beside the judge that morning in court. Killian could hardly believe his father was being called as a witness for the prosecution. Had Emma known the hate ran this deep?
“Mr. Jones, we appreciate you giving us your time today.” Albert began. “Your youngest son Killian-“
“Is a decorated war hero.” His father added.
“Of course. He was involved in an altercation with the deceased before the war, wasn’t he?” Albert asked.
“Are you suggesting that my son…”
“No no, I’m only asking about the altercation. What were they fighting about?”
“What does any young man fight about? A girl. Specifically, they were fighting over Miss Teach. Killian had insisted on taking the girl to the movies. Mr. Gold informed me that she was being quite indiscreet out by the library. It’s unseemly for a girl -“
“Objection, Your Honor. Unless Mr. Spencer plans to call Mr. Gold to corroborate?” Archie started. “Or Lieutenant Jones as he and the defendant were the only witnesses to the altercation in question.”
“Sustained. Mr. Jones, please answer the question and refrain from anything unless you witnessed it.” She warned his father.
“Very well. The sheriff came to inform me that my son and Mr. Cassidy were in an altercation over Miss Teach. My son returned home with minor injuries and I told him to disassociate himself from any further meetings with the girl from that night.” His father finished looking annoyed.
“And did he?” Spencer asked.
“He did. At least until he returned to tell me he’d been called up.” His father replied. “I knew he’d go see her so I went over to stop him.”
“Do you know if he saw her?”
His father paused and looked at Emma with something resembling sadness. “He didn’t. He informed me that evening Miss Teach and Mr. Cassidy were together and he looked forward to finishing his medical degree after he returned home.”
“Thank you, Mr. Jones. Your witness.” Spencer stepped away.
“Mr. Jones, you said you drove to Swan Island that day? Did you see anything unusual?” Archie asked, sounding almost excited.
“As a matter of fact, I didn’t see Killian, but I saw Mr. Cassidy leaving. It struck me as odd at the time. From everything I knew, Miss Teach never wanted to speak to Mr. Cassidy.” Brennan sighed. “And I did speak with Miss Teach.”
“What was that like?”
“It was…odd. It took some time for her to open the door after I knocked. She looked shaken. I think she might have been crying. And…she was wearing a scarf and a heavy coat. Not at all what you expect in July.” His father looked like a weary old man for a moment. “I apologize, Miss Teach, I should have asked you if you were alright when you clearly weren’t.”
“Did you say anything at all?” Archie asked the next question in a gentle tone.
“I told her Killian was going to the war and she shouldn’t try contacting him.” Brennan rubbed his forehead and looked at Killian for the first time. “A foolish mistake, I see now. She reminded me that he wouldn’t see her again because of my interference. She-” Was his father crying? Killian could barely recall a time after his mother’s death when his father cried. “She asked if I would allow him to write to her. She promised not to write back. She wished only to know he was alive.”
“We’re all very grateful that he is, Mr. Jones.” Archie acknowledged. “Have you spoken to Miss Teach since that day?”
“In passing only. I gather he wrote her the occasional postcard and someone was helping him get them to her, but when we met in town, she only asked how he was and if I would pass along a postcard she painted. To my knowledge, she never broke her promise to me.” He finished quietly.
Killian sat in stunned silence. The postcards were from Emma? His eyes watered and when the session took a break, he had to step outside to breathe.
Brennan sat on a bench nearby and Killian joined him. “I’m so very sorry, my boy. I did you a great disservice. You still love her, don’t you?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t think I ever stopped, but…” Killian took a deep breath. “Da, I was at her house. I saw him leaving. She was crying? I should have gone in. If I’d gone to see her…”
“She wouldn’t have allowed you, my boy.” His father finally met his eyes. “It…never occurred to me that she wouldn’t want him there. I knew something was wrong, but I missed what was in front of me.”
Killian shook his head. “What are you talking about?”
“She knew the sheriff wouldn’t respond. Not after she’d been denied help the first time she asked. She wouldn’t have let you in because you would have killed him.” Brennan sighed.
The next witness was Neal’s friend, Peter Banning. “The last time I saw him, he had a charm on his neck. It was a swan. He said it was from her.” Peter spat.
“And where is this charm now?” Spencer asked.
“Whoever killed him has to have it, wouldn’t you think?” Peter sneered at Emma as she continued staring straight ahead.
All Killian heard about the next few days was that charm. He remembered seeing it hanging by Emma’s easel. She said it belonged to her mother. She kept it to remind her not to trust people. How had Cassidy gotten it?
Unfortunately for Spencer, every witness who mentioned it also mentioned going through her house before the murder and after. That made all the evidence collected mishandled and the prosecutor was forced to throw it all out. Killian finally allowed himself to breathe when Neal’s fiancée admitted that the knife wound had been from her, except he was already dead. She just wanted to make sure.
When the judge read the verdict “Not guilty.” Emma sagged against Archie and wiped tears from her eyes.
She was free.
Killian walked to her house the way he had thousands of times before. She was standing in the middle of her home. It had been ransacked by so many people, her things thrown everywhere. Broken plates and sea glass lay in shards at her feet.
He watched her for a moment before he knocked. “Hey, beautiful.”
She whirled and looked at him with fire in her eyes. “Where’s your wife? She was delightful.”
“She’s right here.” He said. “At least, I hope so.”
Emma frowned at him. “She-”
“Eloise went home. Her home. She left three days ago when I wouldn’t leave the courtroom.” He shrugged.
“Why are you here, Killian?” Emma whispered.
“Because my father isn’t the only Jones who needs to beg for your forgiveness.” He looked down at the debris between them. “If you like, I’d kneel at your feet, but I’m hoping you won’t make me.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Aye.”
“You left me.”
“I did, but I’m here and I never want to be apart again. Can you forgive me? For being a jealous idiot? For never writing what I should have to you all those years? For being a coward because I was too afraid I’d find you happy with someone else?”
“You’re many things, Killian Jones, but coward is not one of them.” She shook her head and hugged herself. “What did you want to write?”
“I love you.”
“That’s what you wrote.” She scoffed quietly.
“I wrote I wish you were here. That’s not the same thing.” He smiled.
Emma rolled her eyes. “You were in the war? And wished I was there?”
Killian scratched behind his ear, “I wished we could have seen what those places were like before the madness. I wanted you back in my arms.”
“I wished I was there too.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks and he closed the distance. He handed her his handkerchief and pulled her into his arms. “My love, there wasn’t a day I didn’t think of you. I want to make you happy.”
“I love you too.” She whispered into his chest.
///////////
1956
Killian was out on his sailboat, The Jolly Roger, with his wife and daughter. Emma had been quiet since their short return to Storybrooke. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.
“Shouldn’t you be sleeping, Mrs. Jones?” He grinned.
She relaxed in his arms. “Ghosts were keeping me up.”
“Anything I can help with?” He tightened his hold on her.
Emma shook her head. “They’ve moved on.” She turned and brushed a kiss to his lips. “I’m pregnant.”
He cupped her face and kissed her. “Truly?”
That night, after his girls were asleep, Killian crept up to the deck. He looked down at the swan charm in his palm and dropped it into the ocean. The ghosts could stay gone.
Summary: His eyes focused on Emma as he held out Killian’s heart. “He’ll live,” he said in a voice so steady, it made Emma shiver. “But every day, you’ll wish he were dead.”
***
How can villains truly have their happy ending, no matter how reformed they’ve become?
Rating: T
Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4
Read on AO3
A/N: Here it is! The happy ending I promised (but there is a different, more bitter sweet ending I'm adding on as a one shot if anyone's interested in reading it 😘😆)
As it always happens, this became longer than I originally planned. But I still had much fun with it! Hope you lovelies enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it ❤️❤️❤️
***
Emma pulled his head into her lap, shaking him, willing him to wake up.
“Killian don’t do this. Please. Please, open your eyes.”
She placed her hands on his shoulders, his chest, trying to get him to react.
She inhaled sharply as she felt something moving beneath the skin of his chest.
“Killian?” she whispered, moving aside the wet fabric from where Davy’s magic hit him to look at his chest.
The black spot…it was gone.
She pressed her hand more against his chest.
It fluttered.
As if there was a heart there.
She checked his other pulse points, his wrist, his neck.
Still, that tiny flutter.
Tears were streaming down her face. “Killian! Please, open your eyes!”
Her cries must have finally reached his ears. Because his eyes opened, furrowing a little as he looked at her.
He reached his hand up and cupped her face, his thumb brushing away some of her tears.
“Emma…”
And it had been so long, but the hope exploded in her when she saw his eyes.
They were full of love.
She smiled at the sound of her name falling from his lips.
But then his eyes closed and she couldn’t feel that flutter in his chest anymore.
“Killian?”
No response.
She couldn’t even feel his chest moving with his breaths.
“What have you done?!”
Emma had to tear her eyes away from Killian to look at Davy Jones, his hands shaking as he stared at her, the wound in his chest still leaking a mixture of water and blood.
Something had gone wrong.
His magic had weakened somehow and now…
Emma stood, carefully resting Killian’s head on the deck. She clenched and unclenched her fists, her magic flickering and flaring at her fingertips. “My husband had made up for his debt to you countless times. You never had a claim on him and you were stupid to think you could try and collect.”
Davy stared at her. “You know nothing of how this works. The sea is different from the land. Those who owe a debt to Davy Jones are not done paying it until I say so!”
Emma narrowed her eyes. “But something went wrong, didn’t it? Something went wrong because you didn’t count on the love between me and Killian. Because it’s something you have never and will never experience.”
Davy yelled, raising his hands as magic poured from him.
Emma meet the magic with her own, gritting her teeth as the two forces collided. She ground her feet into the deck, wincing as she felt his magic beginning to push her back.
She closed her eyes, remembering the look in Killian’s eyes. The way his chest moved, not with breath, but with a heartbeat.
And then his eyes closing, his body become so still. Her pirate husband was always moving, even in his sleep, his fingers would twitch.
Now he was lying too still and Emma didn’t want to believe what that meant.
She willed even more magic to flow from her, meeting Davy’s blast.
She took two steps forward for the step backwards she had to take.
“This is a battle you can not win,” Davy said. “His debt has been set in stone the moment he killed them.”
“Give it enough time, and water will wear away the stone,” Emma ground out. She pushed forth more magic and gained two more steps towards Davy. She felt a small bit of triumph rising in her as he took a step back. “Killian has long since made up his debt towards you. You have no hold over him!”
“I will have my payment!”
“You can’t have him!”
And a yell tore through her as a blast of magic spilled from her entire body, creating an explosion of light magic that spread through the docks. The waves swelled and the other boats bobbed from the force of the explosion, and Emma almost thought she heard the sound of glass breaking.
The one thing she was sure of hearing though, was almost like a water balloon bursting.
The magic finally stopped flowing and Emma fell to her knees. Her heart pounded in her eyes and she could see black creeping into her vision.
Davy Jones was nowhere to be seen.
Emma knew she was going to pass out. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt that kind of power explode from her.
That actually might have been the strongest display of her magic yet.
And it took so much out of her.
Before she let unconsciousness claim her, she crawled back to Killian.
She grabbed his hand, in one last effort to pour warmth into his skin.
Her eyes rolled back before she could feel anything.
***
She opened her eyes and immediately knew she was in the hospital from the white tiles overhead and the harsh white light.
She closed her eyes with a groan, feeling a headache building in the back of her head.
“Emma? Are you waking up?”
She gave a small groan in response, peeking an eye open to see David and Mary Margaret hovering over her. “Mom? Dad?”
Mary Margaret let out a relieved breath, grabbing her hand. “Hey, honey. We’re right here.”
She swallowed hard, making an attempt to sit up and ask what happened.
But then the memories hit her and she wished they hadn’t.
Davy taking Hope.
Their daughter soaking wet and trembling.
Killian blocking Davy Jones’ magic from hitting them.
Killian falling, and the flutter in his chest Emma had been so sure she felt.
Attacking Davy with her magic and the monster disappearing.
Or maybe she had destroyed him.
But she could figure that out later. Right now, there was something more important to figure out.
“Killian,” she sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. “Where is he? Is he okay?”
David and Mary Margaret exchanged a look.
Emma felt her world beginning to crumble with just that look.
She shook her head. “No, no it’s not true.”
“Emma, take deep breaths, okay? We’ll get Dr. Whale in here to check out your head and-“
Emma brushed off David’s hand. “No. I need to see him. I need to know that he’s okay.” Her voice cracked at that last word, but she stared hard at her parents, daring them to deny her this request.
Still, David placed his hand on her again, this time placing enough pressure to keep her from standing up. “Emma, you need to stay put. It’s not going to do anyone any good with you walking around without first getting your head checked. You have a nasty bump from where you hit your head on the deck.”
“Where is he?” Emma insisted, the fight starting to leave her body. “Is he…” She couldn’t bring herself to say the words.
“He’s still on the Jolly Roger,” Mary Margaret answered. “We couldn’t exactly get to him.”
Emma frowned, once again feeling herself standing and David holding her down to stay seated. “What do you mean? Is he okay?”
“Poseidon was there,” David said. “He was standing guard over Killian and wouldn’t let us get near him. Said he would only speak with you.”
“But was he okay? Was he…?”
“We don’t know. I’m sorry, honey.”
“I have to go. I have to make sure he’s all right,” she said, her voice beginning to crack from the effort at trying not to have a breakdown right there.
“Let Dr. Whale take a quick look at you. Then we’ll take you there ourselves. But we don’t want you passing out again because of this head injury. You have to take care of yourself too, Emma.”
And she saw how worried her dad was, the pleading in his eyes for her to just listen to him.
Emma gave a quick nod, trying to hold back a wince at how the movement made her head hurt even more.
David smiled, appeased, before giving her a quick kiss to her forehead and leaving the room to find Dr. Whale.
“Killian’s fine. I’m sure of it,” Mary Margaret said, reaching over to squeeze Emma’s hand.
She let out heavy sigh. “How?”
“Because you would’ve known. You would’ve felt it the moment he left this world.”
Emma pursed her lips. Her mother didn’t understand. For the last four months, it felt like had had left.
Because she was stuck with the shell of who he was.
Yet, somehow, he had tried fighting back to her too. Refusing to follow Davy’s last command. The reality TV shows he studied, the pictures and the mirror in the shed. And even the little gesture of grabbing Hope’s favorite jacket.
And Emma felt guilt seep into her because she hadn’t even noticed until this morning when they once again had to face down Davy Jones.
As she tried to figure out what to do with that guilt, the door opened, and David came back with Dr. Whale behind him.
It really was a quick examination. Five minutes at the most. It was a small concussion, but Emma wasn’t at any risk of passing out again and would just need to take some pain meds to deal with the lingering discomfort.
Once he gave her a clean bill of health, Emma was hurrying out of the room with her parents right behind her.
She didn’t have enough energy to teleport herself to the docks, much less her parents too.
And she wanted them to come with her. Because she had no idea what Poseidon wanted.
If he came looking for a fight.
If that was the case, then Emma would meet him head on. No matter what, she would not stop defending Killian with her life.
They piled into front row of David’s truck, Emma in between her parents. She explained everything that happened on the way to the docks. Hoping that as she spoke to them, some new detail would come out that would give her a clue as to what to expect when she got to the docks.
Still, as they pulled up, Emma had no idea what awaited her.
They all climbed out of the truck, but Emma felt as if this was something she needed to check on her own first. If Poseidon wanted to fight, then she would call for them.
She turned to tell them this, but it seemed they already understood.
David gave her a small nod of encouragement. “We’ll be right here, waiting for your call.”
Emma made herself smile in appreciation as she headed down the docks for the ship.
The god was there, standing over Killian.
It didn’t look like he had moved an inch.
Poseidon heard Emma’s footsteps and turned away from the water to face her. “Emma Jones, I never thought we’d see each other.”
Emma felt herself give a small scoff. “Yeah, usually when I have to deal with any gods, it doesn’t end up being good.”
Poseidon laughed. “Was that a threat?”
“Does it need to be one?”
He laughed even more.
And he was a god, but Emma had magic too and she tried to stir up what was left in her to get an attack ready. “Why are you here?”
“Were you the one to kill Davy Jones?”
Emma felt her heart rate pick up. “He’s dead?”
Poseidon turned an uninterested gaze towards the place where Davy Jones had stood hours earlier. “Yes. It surprised me. I’ve felt his magic weakening over the last few years, but something happened in the last four months that seemed to have made it all but disappear.”
Four months. That’s how long Killian had been without his heart. How long Davy had been trying to get Emma to wish him dead.
Without even realizing it, they had been the cause of it all.
Which explained why he came back, in what seemed like one final effort to collect the debt, which was most likely the source of his power.
But in the end, Emma didn’t care at all about that. “And Killian?”
Poseidon looked down at where Killian laid at his feet.
So still, it didn’t even look like he was breathing.
And Emma tried not to look at how pale he was.
“Davy Jones was a pest I couldn’t get rid of. The unbalance he might cause in the seven seas was too great a risk,” Poseidon continued. “You helped take care of that problem for me.”
And his words seemed to mirror what Zeus had told Killian years ago when he brought him back to life. Emma wanted to hope, but she was scared to.
After all the disappointment she experienced these last few months…
“That still doesn’t tell me anything about Killian.”
“Davy still had enough magic in him to kill whoever stood in the path of his blast.”
Emma felt her throat closing up. Did that mean…?
“I’ve got a dilemma though, that I’m hoping you can help me solve.”
She stared at Poseidon, tears filling her eyes and hating that he insisted on speaking in these riddles and not giving her any straight answers.
“Is he worthy?”
Emma blinked at him. “What?”
“Killian Jones. Is he worthy?”
“Worthy of what?”
Poseidon shrugged. “It could be worthy of love, of getting his heart back. Or it could be worthy of taking Davy Jones’ place.”
Out of habit, Emma reached for her gun, forgetting that she didn’t have it. “Was that a threat?” she asked, reminding Poseidon of his words from before.
And he laughed again. “I will say, I was surprised at how hard he still fought for you and your daughter, even after having his heart destroyed.”
Emma found herself repeating someone else’s words again. This time, they were Killian’s. “Because he will always protect what’s his. And he’s mine too and I would do the same for him.”
“Truly?”
“Yes,” Emma said without hesitation.
Poseidon nodded. “Then it is decided.” He raised his trident and drove it into Killian’s chest.
Emma cried out, running towards them, but she felt magic holding her back.
Then Poseidon pulled out his trident and Killian moved, his back arching, before turning to his side and coughing out water and what looked like black ink. Poseidon took a step back and Emma, allowing Emma to finally run to him.
She rubbed his back, hoping to ease some of the discomfort as the water and black ink continued coming out of his mouth. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “I’ve got you.”
And when the coughs finally subsided, Killian rolled onto his back and stared up at Emma.
He looked at her as if she were the one that hung the moon and stars in the sky.
“Killian?”
He left out long breath, his lips moving into a half smile. “Emma.”
A laugh bubbled from her, mixing in with her tears.
Because in his eyes, she saw so much love.
She kissed him and he kissed her back and it was…
Still not right.
She pulled back, grimacing at the taste that filled her mouth, Killian’s expression matching her own.
“The remnant of Davy Jones’ magic leaving your body,” Poseidon said, reminding them of his presence. “I suggest giving your mouth a good rinse before kissing your wife again.”
Killian sat up, wincing only a little as he stared at the god. “What happened?” His hand moved to his chest and his eyes widened in shock.
It only confirmed what Emma had seen in his eyes.
“I’ll let Emma explain. But consider the debt paid, Killian Jones.”
“Wait, but you talked about an unbalance after Davy’s death. Are you…?” She looked to Killian, a fear forming in her heart that Killian immediately understood, judging by the hard look that entered his own.
“As I mentioned before. His magic was already beginning to weaken before he came to claim this final debt. Because you were the last person to ever owe him anything, Killian. The unbalance? Didn’t happen with his death. And it won’t happen either. I believe the time for such villains and monsters has passed. Wouldn’t you agree, Savior?”
Emma nodded, having her fill of those beings for several lifetimes.
Poseidon smiled at them both before giving a final nod. “I do hope the two of you live a long and happy life.” Then he turned from them and jumped off the ship as a portal opened for the god of the sea.
Emma turned to Killian, her eyes wide as she moved her hand to his chest and pulling aside his shirt a little. She could feel his heart, pounding so strongly in his chest and there was no black spot there.
“Is it over?” she asked, counting his heartbeats and hoping she never had to feel it still again.
“Aye,” Killian said, covering her hand with his own. “It’s over, love.”
And Emma threw her arms around his neck, sobbing in relief as he held her tight in his arms that were so warm.
***
The first thing Killian did was rinse out his mouth down in the Captain’s Quarters.
Once that was taken care of, Emma launched herself into his arms again and kissed him until they had to pull back for air, then only long enough for a few quick breaths before kissing him again.
Because he was back. He had his heart beating away in his chest and he was warm and the debt was paid and he was alive.
“Gods, Emma, I’m so sorry,” he said in between kisses. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Emma said. “Don’t ever keep something like that from me again.”
He kissed her neck, her jaw. “Never. I love you.”
While still holding her close to him, he asked for Hope. And she felt his heart almost jump at his own question in worry.
She reassured him that Hope was fine and that she was safe.
A relieved breath escaped him and she even felt his heart rate slowing as well before he was back to kissing her soundly.
Emma didn’t know how she managed to survive without his touch for so long. His hand and hook beginning to wander under her shirt. Her own hands moving to push aside the fabric of his shirt.
“Emma? Everything okay?”
Killian groaned, his hands stilling and his forehead dropping to her shoulder. “Your parents.”
She actually giggled. “My parents.”
“Tell them we’re trying to make pancakes?”
Emma laughed this time, making herself move away from him and straightening her clothes. “Hope will be thrilled that you’re okay.”
And that’s what set him moving. Tucking his shirt back into his pants and making sure his hair didn’t look like Emma’s hands had been tugging at it.
She smiled at him, giving him one last kiss before grabbing his hand and walking up to the main deck.
David and Mary Margaret were there, both poised for an attack.
But when they saw Emma and Kilian together, holding hands, they relaxed and even smiled. “Everything’s okay?” David asked carefully.
Emma grinned, wrapping her arm around Killian’s, and leaning into him, feeling how he leaned against her as well. “Everything’s perfect.”
Mary Margaret was the one to move first, pulling her son-in-law into a tight hug and saying how she knew everything would be okay in the end and that she was so happy for them.
David hugged him as well, giving him a clap on his back and warning him to never do that to his daughter again.
Killian smiled, looking at Emma with so much love, she was almost unsure what to do about it. “Aye. I don’t plan to.”
Now they had a small problem of how they were going to get back since they came in David’s truck and there was only room for three in there. While her parents discussed it, Killian whispered in Emma’s ear that he wouldn’t mind letting her sit on his lap.
She tried to bite back a smile, still feeling her cheeks flushing. Mary Margaret glanced at them curiously and Emma elbowed Killian lightly in the ribs, grumbling for him to behave.
He chuckled and she felt it rumble in his chest and Emma wished they were home because of how much she missed her husband.
It was finally decided that David and Mary Margaret would pick up Hope and they would take her to Granny’s. Emma and Killian would then walk there, meeting them for lunch and allowing Hope to see that her papa was much better now.
And while both Emma and Killian were eager to see their daughter and the joy that would be on her face to see that Killian was fine, they knew that if they left for Granny’s now, they would end up waiting there for at least twenty minutes.
“It’s only a fifteen-minute walk,” Killian said, wrapping his arms around Emma as he stood behind her. They watched her parents drive away in David’s truck. By the time they get to Belle’s, get Hope ready, then pick up Neal, drag him out of the house, and make it to Granny’s, it’ll take them at least half an hour.”
Emma turned around in his arms, fusing their lips together.
They barely made it below deck.
And it wasn’t nearly enough for Emma, but twenty minutes had already passed, and they didn’t want Hope to be waiting for too long.
They made their way to Granny’s, neither of them going a second without a lingering touch.
Because he was back, and Emma still couldn’t quite believe it and needed to feel just how warm he was to convince herself that this was real and wasn’t a dream.
When they finally got to Granny’s, her parents, Neal, and Hope were already there waiting for them. They weren’t even completely inside before Hope was running towards them, throwing herself into Killian’s arms.
He let out an exaggerated groan as he bent down to hug her and lift her in his arms, kissing her cheeks and forehead and telling her how much he loved her.
Hope pulled back, her squishing his cheeks together and her eyes wide. “Papa?”
He smiled, though it looked strange with her holding his cheeks. “It’s me, Hope.”
She grinned, hugging him even tighter. “I knew you’d get better!”
Within an hour of their lunch at Granny’s, the entire town knew what had happened. Henry called too and said he was already on his way back home, that this was a family emergency, and he still had several allowed absences in all of his classes.
Emma and Killian didn’t get a moment alone again until after midnight.
She curled up next to him, hand running over his chest, feeling his heart beating steadily, the warmth and how that black spot was gone for good. “I’m ready for a vacation,” Emma whispered.
“Hmm? And where would we go?” Killian asked, already half asleep but his fingers still running through her hair.
“You’ve never seen the mountains here, have you?”
“Are there any dragons or other beasts that need to be vanquished before we can go?”
Emma hummed in amusement. “No. Poseidon was right. The time for villains and monsters is finally over.”
Killian kissed her forehead. “Are these mountains fairly deserted?”
“You can rent a cabin, and no one would be around for at least fifty miles.”
“Mmm, I’m already liking this idea.”
“And we’ll bring Henry and Hope with us.”
Killian paused for a second before speaking again. “You can give Henry that plastic money card of yours and tell him to spend the day with Hope. Take her into the next closest town or something.”
Her laugh was soft, already feeling sleep beginning to claim her.
She must have dozed off though, because she felt a hand shaking her shoulder. “Mommy?”
Emma forced her eyes open and to focus in the darkness. Hope was standing right in front of her. “What is it baby?” Emma asked, her mind already waking up and looking for any sign of injury or danger.
“I’m scared,” Hope said, barely containing her tears. “Can I sleep here with you and Papa?”
“Of course.” Emma moved over a little, allowing space to climb over her to lie in between her and Killian.
Hope snuggled under the blankets, latching on to Killian’s wrist.
Killian’s eyes fluttered opened briefly, giving a small smile and kissing Hope’s forehead, then falling back asleep again.
Emma curled against Hope, her head stretching over her to grab onto Killian’s hand.
Her family was here. Her family was safe. And everything was right again.
***
They left the next day for their vacation, Regina pulling magical strings to find them a cabin far away from people, but still close enough that Henry really could take Hope to spend a day in town while Killian and Emma spent their time becoming well reacquainted with one another.
After a week, they had to return to Storybrooke and back to their normal lives.
Well, as normal as it could get considering they lived inside a fairytale.
The normality lasted only two months though.
Because Emma took a test and found that she was pregnant.
Doing the math, it most definitely happened during their vacation in the mountains.
And just like Emma’s first pregnancy, Killian doted on his wife, making sure she was always comfortable and wanting for nothing.
Which, like the first pregnancy, ended up annoying Emma by the time she was in her third trimester.
But her annoyance never lasted long as she looked at Killian’s eyes, the look of a kicked puppy when she would snap at him, and give in to his kisses and loving stares.
Because no matter how much she tried to forget, the memories of those four months would never completely leave her.
She would always remember those cold, dead eyes that would stare right back at her.
Those were the moments where she would hold his hand tighter, feeling his warmth and telling him she loved him, feeling her breath come easier when he repeated those words and followed it with a kiss.
There was a small complication during her last few weeks and the baby had to be delivered early.
It was a boy. Liam David Jones.
They had to stay in the hospital with him for two weeks before Dr. Whale said he was healthy, and they could take him home.
And when Emma and Killian walked through the front door of their home with Liam in Emma’s arms, both of them remembered what happened a year ago exactly on that day.
Emma had helped Killian inside their home, with his heart missing.
The memory seemed to have hit them both at once because they stopped, turning to look at each other.
Killian let out a breath, pressing his forehead to Emma’s, his hand moving to cradle their son. “I’m here, love. I’m never leaving your side again.”
Emma didn’t question his promise. She knew that this time, he would be able to keep it.
Because the time of villains and monsters was over.
They could finally, officially, move into living their well-deserved happily ever after.
***
Tag List: @kmomof4, @sotangledupinit, @jrob64, @teamhook, @motherkatereloyshipper, @the-darkdragonfly, @jadehowlettthewolf, @thepirateandhisson
Let me know if you’d like to be added/removed from the list!
Ideas for some fics for angsty august if I had the time to do them justice, all on the milder side. (Since I probably won’t be finishing them, if anyone wants to use them however they see fit, feel free)
1: “Obsolescence”
Setup: Killian texts Emma/leaves her a note as he goes off to do something while she’s busy/asleep. She brings it up later, amused by his old-fashioned spelling and grammar.
Angst: As time goes by, she sees how much he’s been left behind in this world. He’s not helpless, and there’s plenty he’s figured out all on his own—but there are times where it seems like he’s having a hard time keeping his head above water.
There are skills he has (that he’s worked hard to both master and remaster) that have been not only replaced by technology, but done better. He uses words that have been lost to time entirely in the centuries that have past, no one able to quite understand him for a moment. The music he finds nostalgic—that reminds him of Liam and the high-society events they attended (and discreetly rolled their eyes at) while serving—is dismissed, seen as boring by most. The world that his has been replaced with is entirely alien to him, and there are days where everyone else seems to find it funny.
Resolution: Emma redoubles her efforts to explain everything she can about this world. (Pick a partner who knows what she’s doing, Killian) Henry is all too excited to help as well. (Operation Crash Course or something lol)
Eventually, he's nearly as fluent in the ways of this realm as he was with the last one. Just as importantly, he does this without relinquishing his identity—he just adapts, as he always does. He wears jeans with his kohl and long leather coat, the lock screen on his phone is a Montague Dawson painting he found on the internet. He tells Emma about the realm and era he’s from—the foods, the customs, the stories, the music—anything, whenever he’s reminded. She makes sure to always give him her full attention.
His time may be long gone, but she’s made plenty of space for him in hers.
2: “Lost Future”
Setup: Something reminds her of the nursery she saw in the Enchanted Forest. A home decoration magazine on a side table, a TV advertisement, etc.
Angst: It’s an old wound, just as painful as it always was. Some bitter, mumbled comment she makes in relation to her parents tips Killian off. Once the dam breaks, the words come tumbling out. She spent a long damn time fending for herself. She had to get here the hard way. But apparently, it didn’t have to be that way, and if--
Killian shakes his head.
“That’s a good way to drive yourself mad, Swan.”
Resolution: All they have are the moments now, he goes on to say. What did she always want when she was younger, the little things? The everyday?
Emma puts her hands on her hips, shrugging. The little things?
“I dunno,” She takes in a breath and finds herself answering the question, as best she can in the face of the knot in her chest. Someone to...give a shit about her, and ask real questions about her day like they care. To make chicken-noodle soup or whatever the hell when she’s sick. Someone to teach her how to make (insert recipe), to sit with her and watch movies older than she is (and act surprised when she says she hasn’t seen them), someone to tell her all the little wisdoms of the world they’ve learned and hold her when it all seems ready to fall apart.
Killian frowns. Who’s to say she can’t have all that with her family now? There’s a lot she may have missed, but she hasn’t missed all of it—sometimes, focusing on the the little things makes it easier.
After a few months, he finds himself invited to a movie night at the loft. (This time, it’s a Disney movie marathon, and there’s howling laughter and indignant shouting at the screen all the through the night. At least three new inside jokes are born from this.)
3: “Public Opinion”
Setup: Nebulously Post 3A, possibly no curse...¯\_(ツ)_/¯. While discussing how to deal with the villain-of-the-week, a townsperson sarcastically asks if Killian thinks that just because he helped once, everyone will just forget the kind of guy he was before.
Angst: This isn’t the first time, it won’t be the last. And it’s not entirely unjustified, he supposes. But the opinions of the masses are starting to get to him.
He’s done irreparable harm under the philosophy that the end would justify his means. It’s a stain that can never be washed out, he’s mostly come to terms with that. And this idea everyone seems to have that his redemption would absolve him of his past—that he’d somehow be “getting away with it,” (and they can’t let him do that) bothers him. By no means has that ever been the goal. But feels like he’s never going to be anything more than a monster to the world some days.
In a brief, very human moment of frustration, his temper gets the best of him, somewhere in private. Emma finds him during this and her questions spark a bit of a rant:
“—A monster, forevermore, am I?” He scoffs, but there’s no hiding the bitterness underneath the scorn. “I’ll give them unforgivable, I’ll—” He breaks off. He sighs. His shoulders fall, and he closes his eyes.
No, he won’t. He and Emma both know that. He has changed, and isn’t that proof right there that he can’t even finish the thought?
Resolution: Emma tells him that, or something like it. But words only do so much in situations like these. After a moment of thought, she offers some kind of opportunity to help the community, one where he’s doing tangible good, but probably isn’t the public’s punching bag.
Bonus: His pirate tricks are what save lives in a confrontation with a bad guy, or end up being a game-changer in a “how do we stop the villain” strategy meeting. Just because he’s reformed doesn’t mean he’s been de-fanged >:)
(some of these were originally in the comments of the original announcement for this event (by @cosette141), but the character limit had other plans lol. seemed easier just to drop these in a post all their own)
Thank you to everyone who participated in the csAngstyAugust22 event this year!! Beautifully heartbreaking CS from all of you🥹🥹❤️❤️
(if you still haven't posted an Angsty August fic, no worries! Whenever you do, still tag me and the event tag, and you can still add it to the collection whenever you finish it!)
Here's a list of all the submissions for the event (titles linked to either tumblr or ao3!):
When I Wake - @caught-in-the-filter
Stolen Away - @hannahhook7744
Chibi-style comic art - @cocohook38
Tin Man & Hell's Comin' With Me - @nachocheese-itsmycheese
Witness - @elizabeethan
Out of the Fire, Into Tomorrow - @kmomof4
Scarborough Fair - @searchingwardrobes
Moment of Truth - @cosette141
**Tumblr has been really dumb with the tags lately, so if I did not list or get notified of your fic or art, please let me know and I can add you to this list!! ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks again to all creators and all readers for making this such a fun event!! ❤️🥹
Moment of Truth (OUAT fanfic) | for CS Angsty August 2022!!
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Pairing: Captain Swan (and Captain Charming)
Words: 4k
Summary: After Killian learns he killed David’s father, the secret is eating him alive. So, with a load of courage and even more rum, he brings himself to tell the truth. And he prays he won’t lose the love of his life… or his best friend in the process. (S6 canon divergence where Emma doesn’t find the ring and doesn’t pressure Killian into proposing) for Angsty August 2022, CS, Captain Charming, h/c
AO3
Hi everyone! Here's a two-shot for the CS Angsty August event! :) I'll preface by saying that this has a happy ending, but we're going on a little ride haha.
I absolutely haaated that Emma found the ring in S6 and then pressured Killian into proposing. I wanted to see what it would look like if Emma hadn't found the ring and interrupted his attempt to tell the truth about David's father, and see what would have happened that way.
Hope you guys enjoy the angst ;)
~cosette141
Killian stumbled up the steps to their house.
His and Emma's house.
Their home.
Killian paused, catching his balance on the door frame, swaying with the rum that circulated through his body more than blood.
"Dead men tell no tales."
He slid the blade into the man's ribs.
He watched the life leave his eyes, watched him slump against the cart.
Watched him die.
And he, himself, smiled.
Killian felt sick.
His eyes burned, his body thrummed with the effect of the alcohol and the anxiety of having to tell her—needing to tell her.
"I actually want to tell Emma the truth."
"Well," the cricket had said, proudly, "maybe it's because you are the man that Emma wants to marry."
But what if he isn't?
What if…
He lost his breath, his hand slipping on the door frame as his heart lurched.
What if she leaves him?
He caught his breath, his heart pounding.
He couldn't lose her.
Gods, he's tried so hard.
He's changed.
He's brought himself back, dragged himself back, tore himself away from the darkness.
Twice.
And now, despite all he's done to fix it, his past and the sins he'd thought he left there have come rearing back with a bloody vengeance.
Would he ever truly escape it?
Or would he always be a prisoner of his own mistakes?
"Emma… I'm a villain."
"If you're afraid of losing your happy ending, that means you found it. What is it?"
"Don't you know, Emma? It's you."
He couldn't lose her.
He couldn't lose her.
He couldn't stand to see her look at him with the hatred he saw stare back at him in the mirror.
Killian shut his eyes, the fog of the alcohol only making the thoughts and the fear worse.
He should have known that there was a limit on his happiness with Emma.
Should've known that he never deserved her after all.
Should've known that his past would come back to kill any and all hope of his future.
And the worst part…
He deserved it.
His chest physically hurt.
He deserved to be left alone.
He deserved to see her walk away from him, to see the love for him disappear from her eyes.
True Love be damned.
He deserved to lose his happy ending.
But it wasn't only Emma he was going to lose.
David.
Killian couldn't breathe.
Just last night, less than twenty-four hours ago, David had cried into his chest.
David had embraced him like Liam once had.
And David broke under the suffering of living without his father, the father who hadn't left him like he'd thought.
Suffering that Killian had caused.
David clung onto Killian like his rock, like his brother, like family.
He'd turned to Killian over the loss of his father. Killian; his father's murderer.
Killian's eyes shut, losing feeling in his legs.
David has grown to be the greatest friend that Killian has ever had—to someone that Killian trusted as much as he'd loved and trusted Liam—
And gods, he's hurt him.
He ripped David's family apart and he's hurt him.
Killian's eyes burned.
"Well, you shouldn't have goaded him into it!"
He destroyed both his brothers' lives.
Hell—
All three of them.
Killian's breath hitched, his eyes opening, nothing but torture shining through.
The urge to run was blinding.
To save Emma from him, because she deserved someone better.
But a small voice somewhere in the back of his mind whispered to him to be a man.
To be strong in a lifetime of being weak.
To do it for Emma, because he will not leave her.
He will never leave her.
He will let her leave him—a choke in his throat, a burn in his eyes—but he will never leave her.
His eyes opened, his frame trembling with fear and the clash of where his weakness met his strength, both vying terribly for control.
But he took a shuddering breath.
And he forced himself to move, opening the door, desperately wishing that it won't be the last time he walks into their home.
Killian shut the door, hand shaking.
He heard footsteps from upstairs—
Emma.
A chill shot down his spine, stopping his heart.
"There you are," said Emma, coming down the stairs. She was smiling. She was happy.
And she kissed him immediately, something soft and sweet and happy.
He shut his eyes, trying to memorize the feel of her lips.
The feel of her.
But she pulled back far too soon, and Killian opened his eyes, begging it won't be the last kiss they ever share.
"Oh, wow. Captain Morgan," said Emma, licking her lips with a teasing smile. "I thought we were switching to water."
But Killian didn't smile—couldn't smile—not in lieu of what he was going to do.
He clung onto the strength within him that was fading more and more the longer he looked at her.
"I'm afraid it wouldn't give me the courage that I need," he whispered hollowly, forcing the words out before he could stop them.
Before he could be the coward he's always truly been.
He watched her eyes shift with confusion, and fear rose sharply through him.
Emma.
Hell, he loved her so much.
Please don't let her leave me.
"Courage… for what?" asked Emma unevenly, sensing the tension surrounding him like a vapor.
He felt paralyzed, the words trying to come out, his fear clinging onto them with all his might.
He could feel the ring in his pocket.
He was nearly going to marry her.
He'd just gotten David's blessing.
His blessing.
The man who had hated him, bloody hated him when they'd met.
And who now was his closest friend.
"You're never going to get her."
"Of course, you have my blessing."
Killian had been so close.
So close.
The desire to lie, to keep it to himself, was agony.
But he couldn't handle it.
The secret was tearing him apart, he could hardly live with himself.
He needed her, he needed her to lean on and was bloody terrified that speaking the words would tear her away from him.
Because he knew for certain that if she did, if she looked at him the way he looked at himself…
He couldn't bloody handle it.
"Killian…?"
Killian looked up, seeing Emma watching him with a concerned expression. Something scared in that expression. "What is it?" she asked slowly.
Killian took a breath.
Braced himself.
And bloody prayed she'd still be here after the words left him.
"I need to tell you something," he managed unevenly, the words hoarse, like they'd been through a war and barely made it out alive. "But I'm… I'm not sure how you're going to react."
Killian suddenly wished for more rum.
But no amount of rum could erase this.
Emma's expression only became more concerned. And…
Fearful.
A familiar kind of fearful.
Age-old crumbled walls attempted to rise in her eyes. "Killian, you're scaring me," she whispered. "Y-You're not… not… breaking up with me, are you?"
Her words were hollow and quick and breathless.
And his eyes snapped to hers, quickly saying, "No! Of—of course not, never—" His eyes shut even as he heard her little exhale of relief. "But… love, I wish I could have you promise that to me."
He felt her hand take his, and his eyes opened, utterly tortured.
He felt sick.
Emma's expression was even more concerned now, but not for herself.
For him.
"Killian, what's wrong?" she whispered gently. A little smile— "I promise I'm not going anywhere. You can tell me anything."
But she doesn't know.
He bloody killed her grandfather in cold blood, and he can't stand to tell her, and can't stand to not tell her.
So he shut his eyes, dredged up the words from the sharp claws of his fear, and spoke before he lost the strength to be the man she deserved.
"I killed David's father."
Silence.
He couldn't breathe.
His chest burned.
"What?"
Emma's voice was small, hollow and… confused.
Forcing himself to repeat it, to get it out, Killian said, "Emma, I k-killed David's father. I did it. It was me. The monster your father is looking for… is me." His voice lost all strength, a hot tear burning down his cheek. He went on before she could speak— "I didn't realize until August gave me a photograph of him, and it… it came back to me, and…" His eyes shut, pain ripping through him worse than any agony he's ever suffered. "I found his father tied to a Royal Guard cart as a hostage," he went on, forcing himself to. "I wanted their gold, I k-killed the guards—" His eyes were shut, every voicing of the word kill, another stab to his chest. "His father begged me for his life, promised to keep quiet on what he saw me do—because he—he wanted… he wanted to return to his family—" Another choke in his voice, another tear down his cheek, contempt for himself trailing through him like poison. "It wasn't even as if… as if I didn't believe him," he breathed, "I didn't need to k-kill him, I just… I didn't care—" A hitched breath, his chest burned. He felt sick. "I watched him die at my own blade, the same one that I—that I've used to spar with your father—" Another tear burned, tracking a molten line of regret down his skin, and he was shaking, he was shaking so hard— "E-Emma, I'm so sorry, I'm so bloody sorry, I murdered David's father, your grandfather, I've hurt so many people, I've—I've done so many horrible things and I'm—I'm—I'm a bloody monst—"
But he was suddenly pulled into an embrace.
His words cut off, his eyes flying open as Emma pulled him tightly to her chest, wrapping her arms around him.
In shock, he stared at her, voice hitching, "E-Emma—"
"I love you."
Killian stopped breathing.
His tears froze on his face.
"What?" he breathed.
"I love you," came Emma's voice, shaky but firm, and she pulled back just to see his face, tears on her own cheeks, but her arms only grew tighter around him. "I love you, Killian. No matter who you used to be or what you did."
Another tear burned down Killian's cheek. "But—Emma, I—"
"I know," she whispered, resting her head against his shoulder again. "I know. But I meant what I said. You can tell me anything. I'm not going anywhere."
The clash of relief and utter confusion at her response just had more tears burning down his face. "Why don't you hate me?" he choked out, voice weak and hollow as shattered glass.
"Because the man who did that," she whispered, sure and strong, "was never you." She pulled back a little, his arms reluctant to let her, but he did, and she touched his face, reading every torture in his eyes. "I know you. The man you are right here… this is you." A broken smile. "That's who I love." she said, only holding him tighter. "No matter what Hook did."
He stared at her in shock, unable to process her words.
He'd expected contempt.
He'd expected to see her heart break.
He'd expected her to throw him out, to never speak to him again.
He expected her to hate him as much as he hated himself.
Another tear burned down his cheek. "I don't… Emma… David, I-I—" Another sob escaped him, hell, he was breaking, and Emma was pulling him into her arms even tighter.
"It's okay," she whispered over his shoulder. "We'll figure it out. And we'll get through it. It's okay." She hugged him tighter. "You have me. I'm not going anywhere, Killian. We'll get through this together. I love you, Killian."
And he cried, there in her arms, under the weight of everything Hook had done, everything he had done. Cried for the lives he'd taken and the lives he'd destroyed, and for his own life that had been broken enough to drive him to such darkness.
And he cried from the relief that Emma was still here. That she wasn't leaving, and that he didn't have to break alone.
Emma held him, never letting him go, whispering reassurances, whispering love. Promising him over and over that she will never leave.
He would never understand what he'd done to deserve her—what he'd done to deserve her forgiveness, her unwavering love. And he only hoped he could find a way to make this right for David, and that he wouldn't lose his best friend.
But in lieu of one of the darkest days of his life, having to tell one of his darkest secrets, Emma was a light.
She was here with him, and he didn't have to go through this alone.
-.-.-.-.
Killian felt a familiar fear run through him, and a familiar need for rum.
He felt Emma's fingers in his tighten.
"It's going to be okay," said Emma softly.
Killian swallowed hard, his numb body begging to disagree.
But he looked at her, seeing the sliver of doubt in her eyes, but enough courage and hope for the both of them.
He took a breath, lifting his hook to knock softly on the door to the loft.
He could do this.
He could do this.
Emma had accepted him, had loved him no less after learning the truth of what he's done, but…
Now, he had to tell David.
Emma had spent the whole night holding him tightly as they slept, like she knew that he was still terrified that she would change her mind about him overnight. Emma knew more about abandonment than anyone Killian has ever known, and she never once left his side since he's told her.
She'd offered to tell her father herself, but this was Killian's doing.
He needed to face his own consequences.
Even if the thought of it made him lose all the feeling in his body.
But without any hesitation, Emma chose to come with him, not letting him do this alone.
Killian still didn't understand how she could be so accepting of him, didn't understand how she wasn't angry with him.
How she couldn't hate him.
And it almost made him think that, one day, he might again be able to look into the mirror and meet his own eyes.
He let out a shuddering breath, where he was outside the loft with Emma, only a door separating him from David.
From a break he didn't know if his heart could take.
They heard footsteps approach the door at his knock, and Killian went rigid, his chest tight with lack of breath.
Emma's fingers tightened around his.
And the door opened, revealing David.
Killian nearly flinched.
"Hook," said David with surprise. "Emma. It's early for a visit."
Killian couldn't find his voice.
His mind was playing over every horrible way David could react.
He couldn't help flashing back to the other night.
"Yes. Of course, you have my blessing."
Killian's need for rum was blinding.
Emma looked at him concernedly, then looked at her father. "Um, is Mom home?"
"No," said David, stepping aside to let them inside, and Emma had to tug Killian in gently after her, for his legs were nearly too numb to move. "She's out with your brother on a walk. Why?" He looked at Killian, a little excitement in his eyes, lifting his brow. "Do you two… need to tell me something?"
His gaze snapped to Emma's left hand, brows falling a little when he saw it empty.
Killian felt sick.
"Um," said Emma, confused at the display, but shook it off. She looked to Killian.
Gods, this was harder than telling Emma.
"I… need to tell you something," said Killian, dredging up the courage from last night, that seemed to have buried itself even deeper within him, even harder to reach.
Emma's fingers tightened even more around his, lending him strength.
David caught the tension, and he crossed his arms, saying, "Okay. What is it?"
Killian shut his eyes.
Felt sick.
Utterly, horribly sick.
"David," he breathed, forcing himself to meet David's eyes. "The man who… who killed your father—"
David lifted a hand, expression shifting. "I've already decided that you were right. I'm not going to look into it anymore; there's no point finding the exact man who—"
"It was me."
The words were barely a whisper.
Killian's heart was pounding so hard it hurt.
David's words dried up in an instant.
He looked frozen in shock.
Then— "What?"
However similar to Emma's first response, the word wasn't spoken like Emma had said it.
It had a touch of that unhinged anger from days ago.
And it made Killian lose his breath.
But Killian forced himself to say it again. "It was me," he breathed, voice hollow, body numb. "I'm the one who… who killed your father."
His eyes burned.
And David….
Went frighteningly still.
Quickly, Killian said, words breathless, "I di-didn't realize until… until after the night you and I…" His voice broke off. "August found the page in the st-storybook, and I… I recognized him." Forcing himself to continue, he breathed, "I crossed paths with him many years ago, and I—" His voice broke. His eyes burned. "I—I killed him."
David was frozen. Slowly, trapped in shock, he breathed, "You… you did what?"
"David," whispered Killian, his name like agony in Killian's chest, "I am so bloody sorry. I—You've no idea how badly I wish I could take back what I've done. I—I have no excuse for what I—" His choked on the pain. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, voice breaking, a tear burning down his cheek. "David, I'm so sorry."
David stared at him, a million emotions rushing through his eyes. Shock. Anger. Confusion. Disbelief.
When he was quiet too long, Emma whispered, "I… I know this must be really hard to hear, Dad… but Killian… he feels awful and—"
David held up a hand, stumbling away from them. "Just… give me a second."
David braced himself a little on the kitchen island, like he was unsteady.
Killian still couldn't breathe.
David scrubbed a hand over his face, announcing roughly, "I… need some air."
Without waiting for a response, he walked out of the loft, door falling shut behind him.
And Killian felt himself grow horribly, terribly cold.
-.-.-.-.
Emma had poofed them back to the house when David still hadn't returned to the loft after a half an hour, and they didn't want to explain what happened to Snow.
The rest of the day went by agonizingly, Killian feeling horribly numb.
Emma still never left his side.
It was dark outside by the time there was a knock at the door.
"I think that's Henry," said Emma softly, getting off the couch, reluctantly releasing Killian's hand to get the door.
Emma opened the door, and Killian heard a little gasp from her, and a familiar voice say, "…Hey."
Killian froze.
"Is… Hook…?" began David, and Emma rushed to say, "Yeah, he's right here."
Killian was on his feet in seconds.
Heart pounding.
David walked a few steps in, eyes slowly meeting Killian's.
Killian's breathing stopped.
David let out a long breath. Then— "I gave things a lot of… thought."
Killian's chest burned.
He braced himself for the hatred.
But he already knew he wouldn't be able to handle it.
"And…" David sighed, like the words came from an eternity of reflection. Killian's chest tightened. But David gave another sigh, something that looked like a release, and he said, "It was a long time ago."
Killian, who had braced himself for a punch to the jaw or words that would hurt more, felt his brows raise. "What?" he breathed.
David let out another breath, meeting Killian's eyes easier this time. "The person you were then.. isn't who you are now. You've changed, and we've all seen the lengths you've gone to make up for the person you were. You saved Emma a million times over, you saved my ass in Neverland, all of us, really, over the years—hell, you even died for us."
Killian couldn't believe his ears.
He still couldn't convince himself to breathe.
With a lighter sigh, David finished, "You aren't the villain you once were."
Killian stared in disbelief.
"I'm not going to say it's easy to know what you did—" said David, as Killian nearly flinched. A meaningfulness slipped into David's eyes. "But a villain—the man who… who did that…" Something of a thoughtful, touched look crossed David's face. "Well, he wouldn't even have told me."
Killian's breath froze.
And out of the corner of his eye, he saw Emma smile.
David winced a little at the sheer lack of color in Killian's face. "You look like hell over this, and… I know you regret it."
"More than anything," Killian breathed.
"Regina has hurt and even killed our family and people and friends," said David, a little uneasily, "and even after we accepted her despite it, and we all became family…" His brows kneaded. "She's never apologized to or regretted who she's hurt in her past once." Looking Killian in the eye, David said, "There's a difference between starting to do good instead of bad… and becoming good." A slight smile. "You're that difference, Killian."
Killian.
David took another step, standing in front of Killian, who was staring at David like he was an utter enigma. And meeting his gaze, David said heavily, "You aren't the man who killed my father. You are the man who was there for me the other night. That was you." A soft look—the same one David had given him when Killian had asked for Emma's hand. "And that man is my best friend."
Killian listened in shock.
And David smiled a little, gently clapping a hand on Killian's shoulder. "Nothing about that night… nothing I said to you that night has changed."
"Of course you have my blessing."
Killian felt utterly overwhelmed with shock.
He not only had David's forgiveness and his friendship—
But he still had his blessing to marry his daughter?
David smiled at his shock, and without hesitation, pulled Killian into an embrace.
And Killian held him back, feeling like the mirror of the two of them from the other night. A tear burned down Killian's cheek, relief rushing through him so strongly it nearly brought him to his knees.
"I'm so bloody sorry," he whispered.
"I know," said David, pulling back, smiling despite it all. Like even in the light of what he's learned about Killian, it somehow sated his search for vengeance. It somehow gave him what he'd been looking for, and the look in his eyes was something almost like exhausted relief.
Which only matched the look in Emma's eyes, tears in hers as well, watching them with her own smile.
And yet, Killian still couldn't understand how they didn't hate him.
But maybe the fact that they didn't, even after hearing that he'd committed one of the worst sins, the worst mistakes of his life, after hurting them yet still getting their forgiveness…
Then maybe…
Maybe he… did deserve forgiveness.
Maybe…
He even deserved his own.
He didn't know how to forgive himself, there was so much he's done that felt unforgivable.
But theirs gave him hope for his own.
Killian felt himself smile a little, something whole and broken at once, feeling like a weight has been lifted.
"I'll see you two tomorrow," said David, walking back to the door, giving Killian one more meaningful look before bidding a goodnight, and leaving.
Emma closed the door, smiling to Killian. "You okay?"
Killian let out a heavy breath. "Aye," he whispered, meaning it.
"You deserve his forgiveness," said Emma softly, as if reading his mind. "And mine. You know that, right?"
Killian responded with a kiss on her lips. "Emma… you have no idea what it means to have you."
Emma smiled. "Or what it means for me to have you." She brushed his hair across his forehead, saying through her smile, "Thank you for coming to me."
But heat touched his eyes, and he whispered, "Thank you for letting me."
Something warm glistened in her eyes, and she's never looked more beautiful.
"It's you and me, Killian," whispered Emma. "You'll always have me."
He touched her cheek, smiling wider. "And you me, my love."
She looked so happy.
In lieu of learning the worst thing he's ever done, he's almost never seen her look happier.
And it made him smile, with sheer relief that he still had her.
He still had her, and her family.
And it made him realize how much he truly wanted to be in it.
Without a second thought, his hand was reaching into his pocket.
"I…" he began. "I wanted to do this somewhere more… romantic," he whispered, watching confusion on Emma's face. "But… Emma, I feel I've never loved you more than I do right now."
Before she could speak, he pulled the ring from his pocket.
And he sank to one knee.
Emma let out a little gasp, eyes widening.
Killian swallowed, feeling the sudden fear that he hadn't thought this through, that he suddenly didn't know how she would react to this.
But when he saw her eyes light up even brighter, his smile widened.
"Emma Swan," he whispered softly, eyes burning for an entirely new, and entirely better reason. "Will you marry me?"
And Emma sank to her knees, smiling wider than he's ever seen, eyes clear and walls down and only joy shining through, whispering one word that warmed him more than any sun ever could:
"Yes."
❤️❤️❤️
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