For the person struggling to get shared care... Remember the gp is unlikely to be difficult for the sake of it. It's an added cost to their limited budget, they might not have dealt with a trans person before, might not know or trust the private clinic, and they definitely want to protect you from poor or unwise treatment. So, be sure to not make it a battle but help the two practitioners negotiate. Shared care is just that - two doctors working together for your best interests. Don't despair!
Thanks for sharing this perspective. It’s definitely helpful to try and remember that people are rarely trying to be intentionally difficult or cruel when they’re being unhelpful - often it’s just lack of knowledge or understanding, and things can change once the doctor has learnt a bit more about the situation. I understand that doctors also can feel frustrated that they’re being expected to take on too much without adequate support in the way of training, etc., from those with more experience. In fact, this is something that can apply to all kinds of issues, not just trans healthcare. So in some cases, their grievance might be with the situation they’ve been put in, where senior people have insisted that something should be dealt with in primary care but without making sure primary care practitioners feel equipped to deal with it.
That being said, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s also very frustrating to the person trying to access healthcare! Personally, I think that patient and practitioner need to share responsibility for seeking information, rather than what seems to happen in at least some cases - where GPs place the burden of ‘proof’ on the patient. There are also going to be GPs who don’t seem to want to engage, or are being misinformed by their immediate superiors, or don’t seem to trust the information we as patients provide. Equally, gender clinics (private and NHS) can be difficult for GPs to get in contact with meaning they struggle to access individual advice or reassurance if needed.
So it’s definitely a difficult situation to be in for all concerned, and I think it’s worth trying to pause and think about the fact there are a lot of factors in play when GPs seem to be obstructive - but that doesn’t mean that someone struggling with a GP should just shut up, far from it. As long as trans healthcare and poor communication are not routinely addressed, it’s going to be necessary to deal with these situations as they arise, but you’re right when you say don’t despair - there is very often a way to resolve these things.
