Alas. I am. However, I have recently become severely enamored with another man and so my affections are split. (If you would like to know more, inbox me and ask. Too complicated to explain in this ask.)
B- Who was the last person I talked to on the phone?
Audio call? My father. He was giving me information about work boring adult stuff. Text would be James; the second man who is fighting for my affection.
C- How long it’s been since I’ve kissed?
Damn. I love kissing. Like, I’m a make-out whore. But the last time I kissed someone was more than a month ago. Like, early October. I feel extremely deprived.
D- If I have a preference for boys or girls.
Boys. I’m gay. Very much so. If you know me, it’s kinda obvious.
E- How many holes I have in my ears.
Besides the normal 2? Absolutely none. No earrings or piercings at all.
F- Any option, like “hot or cold”
Since you didn’t specify, I’ll just do the example. I prefer the cold. It’s so much easier to raise your body temperature than it is to lower it. I also prefer the cold because all my cute clothes are long sleeved or winter-like clothing.
G- The last person I said “I love you” to.
My father. When he and I spoke on the phone several hours ago. Yes, I am not afraid to tell you that it was my father. I love both of my parents very much and they love me more than I can even fathom.
H- The last person I hugged.
My mother. She just went to bed.
I- The last time I felt jealous, and why.
About a week or so ago, maybe…? I was on Instagram looking at Travis’s posts. (he’s the other boy that my emotions are out of control for) Sometimes, he mentions someone or posts a picture with someone else that just makes me green with envy. I wish it were me in those pictures and not somebody else. It’s ridiculous, almost. But I just can’t help it, sometimes.
J- Are you insecure? About what?
Yes. I am. and about too much, I’m afraid. My body, for one thing. My voice; speaking and singing. Things that people tell me are beautiful yet I have a difficult time believing them. I fear that the only person that I will believe will be the man I marry one day. If anyone wants to marry me, that is. (fucking insecurities. Excuse me…I have to go stop crying…)
Kenneth Andrew Taggard. I quite like it.
Yes. Just one; my little brother. I’m sorry. He’s my younger brother. He’s now a good solid 2 inches taller than I am. I need to note that there is a 5 year age difference between us…
M- If I forgive betrayal.
This is tricky. It would depend on the circumstances of said “betrayal.” I have done so in the past for it was purely an accidental thing. She expected one outcome from a situation and the exact (and terrible) opposite happened. We wept and yelled at one another. But the passage of time heals most things and I forgave her. Though, I do not know if she has forgiven herself, yet. She should. For I am starting to look to the horizon and not the stars.
N- If you want to know how I treat my friends.
What kinda question is this?! If they are your friends, obviously you treat them well, I would assume. I treat my friends with nothing but respect and kindness. I give love and consideration. I ask questions so as not to accidentally insult or injure. I give gifts and receive absolute joy in watching their faces light up with happiness. I give advice that cautions but encourages. I am an ear for listening and a shoulder for crying. I am what they need for when they need it. All they need do is ask.
Well I am now at a University and not a “school” but I shan’t play semantics. I do enjoy my school. Some days are better than others, obviously. But who am I to complain when the professors truly care about me and want nothing but the best for me? Who am I to waste the education that is being served to me on a silver platter with some extra money on the side? No. Not everybody has the opportunity I have and I am refusing to waste it.
P- What kind of music I like.
This is the wrong can of worms to open. I like literally everything except for one or two genres. Honestly, I listen to almost everything. Jazz to Classic Rock. Hip-Hop to Classical. From Beyonce to Shirley Bassey. Bon Jovi to Kylie Minogue. I cannot choose favorites in terms of genres because they all serve one sole purpose; to unite mind and body of every individual. To bring us closer as a race. Music transcends barriers such as language and race and sexuality. It makes us cry and it makes us smile. It reminds us of times long gone and helps look to the future.
Q- What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.
HAHA! The last “party” I went to was last weekend. The Chamber Chorale took a trip to Fort Smith (Arkansas) because we were performing at a church service and at our own concert later the same evening. We arrived Saturday and later that evening, several members of the church we were performing at held a cook-out for us to help us unwind. It was actually pretty great. When is the next party I will be attending? Fuck if I know. Although, I can almost guarantee it being a Theatre party. (I am a Theatre Major after all.)
I don’t exactly understand this. But I’ll do what I can…?
1. What it is like in the body of a woman.
2. What it would be like to do Drag.
3. What it is like to be a PoC. (Middle Eastern to be more specific.)
4. What sex is like. (Yes I’m a virgin.)
5. What it’s like to lose somebody you love.
6. What it’s like to be color blind.
7. What lies in the depths of the oceans.
8. What it is like to live in a third world country.
9. What it is like to perform in front of thousands or millions of people.
10. What it feels like to leave a 200$ tip because you can.
1. Using most if not all of my data when I know I shouldn’t be using it at all.
2. Masturbating. Filthy habit in the eyes of some. To others, a natural habit. Either way, it’s my body and I don’t care what you think.
T- 5 things I love unconditionally.
3. The Celestial Bodies (Sun, Moon, and Stars)
4. Writing (other people’s and my own.)
5. My Sisters; Ashley and Aswa.
U- How many texts I send daily.
Too many to count. I’m sure that’s the answer from most people but that’s because we are all lazy fucks who don’t even want to estimate.
1. Performing for large audiences on Broadway.
2. Being a part of the Royal Shakespeare Company.
My mother. She has lived and made her share of mistakes. She makes them even now, but she is only human. She has overcome too many obstacles in her life. She had me when she was 20 or 21. She dropped out of college to take care of me. She has bipolar disorder and insomnia but finally realized she needed the help so she went to the doctor and has amazing medication to help her with both things. She lived with a poor husband (yes my father) for too many years before divorcing him. (Both have grown and become better for it.) She has worked jobs she loved and jobs she hated. She decided to change that and went back to college but online. So a few years ago, she was a single mother of two teenage boys (one of which is gay), working a full time job, and being a full time college student online. She graduated with a 4.0 and with valedictorian status; one of the top in her class. I would also like to mention, her father died while close to the end of her final semester. She now has a degree and is working a well paying job which is helping pay for her eldest son’s college education. Mother’s day is not just a one time annual thing for me. It is every day. I love her so much. (Excuse me while I go stop crying. Again.)
X- If I’ve done something I regret very much.
No I cannot say I’ve done anything I heavily regret. Every decision I’ve made; Every path I have chosen has made me the man I am today. There are things that I regret not doing but I look on those things now and I realize that I am all the better for not doing them. But I don’t regret anything I’ve done up to now.
Y- Do I like my town and why?
Umm… Well I was born here. I lived here until I was 3 and then we moved to Virginia until half way through my 4th grade year we moved back down here to Arkansas. I always had a longing to be here when I was younger. It’s a smaller town compared to other cities but bigger than a lot of country towns. I enjoy it here not for what it is but for what it was and what it holds. It’s sentimental for me. I have wonderful friends here and at one point, most of my family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.) used to all live here. Now we are all spread across the state and I have dreams that extended far beyond the borders of this state. As the years have gone on, this town has given me much to love. But it also confines and restricts me. So in a way, yes. I like my town very much. But this place is close to running its course in my life and soon I must say goodbye.
Z- Ask any question you want.
Well there was no explicit question given, dear. But I shall give you something anyway. Something I am currently wishing for.
I am currently wishing for someone to lay with; to love. I have never slept with (actual sleep) someone I love. I want to fall asleep in his arms and wake to see his beautiful face. I want to feel safe in his embrace and the feeling of his sleep warm body pressing against mine. I want to kiss him goodnight and good morning. I want to tell him just how much I care for him and and I want to know that he feels the same. I wish that I wasn’t lonely.