Nov 21, 2017
i was broken down crying, because again, i wanted to leave and leaving wasn’t okay -
he did hug me, eventually, although his face remained the same -
do you know what he said to me?
“no one else would hold you like this” -
maybe it was meant to be comforting, but in his way, they were just manipulative words with underlying meanings and despite the tears, I saw right through them.
and what’s worse, all I could think was “he would”
but what’s even worse? i never would’ve been breaking down on this floor to start with if he was the one holding me.
and then it hit me harder—what I already knew, came back and hit me harder—that it was always supposed to be him holding me.
what have I done?
