I’ll Be Home for Christmas | v. (final)
welp...this is the end. i know it’s like way way WAY too late to post anything christmas themed but i wanted to get this done so i could work on some other things (which is a lot). anyways, thanks for sticking around and hope this is okay, it was kind of rushed and i would think of something and then completely forget about it the next second so i might be suffering for short term memory loss?? but anyways enjoy! OH ALSO i accidentally deleted one of my old fics so imma have to rewrite it so look out for an updated ‘First Date’ fic!
Warnings: horrible rushed writing, angst, tears
Enjoy! previous parts in my shawn masterlist
“You’re gonna be fine, Mariah.” Tilly said calmly over facetime, hoping her soothing voice would calm down the girl that was rapidly pacing her room hours before the party.
“I don’t know, Tilly. What if,” she snatched her phone off her desk and shoved her face into it, the only thing on Tilly’s screen were Mariah’s eyes. “what if he hates me for what I said to him? Now he realized I’m really not the one for him and he goes off to see some other girl again. This is all because I was too fucking scared.”
Tilly sighs. “It is because you were so scared.”
Mariah gives her a pointed look. “You’re not helping here Til.”
“Look M. At the end of the day you guys both obviously love each other and need to talk things out. So just listen to him. And he’ll listen to you. Because I know he’s suffered just as much as you have. But both of you need to give each other a chance to be happy with each other.”
Mariah sighs and sits on her bed. “But what if it doesn’t work out?”
Tilly chuckles. “But what if it does?”
Mariah rubs her face and looks at Tilly on her screen. “Why did you have to leave me when I need you most?” She joked, a sly smile on her face.
Tilly feigned shock. “I have family too ya know.”
They both laugh. Then a silence washes over the two girls.
“Just,” Tilly starts, her face soft with concern. “I want you to be happy. And if that’s with him then never let it go because there is no one like him.”
Mariah gave her a smile. “Thanks Til.”
There’s a yell on Tilly’s side. “Well I gotta go. Good luck and call me tomorrow!”
Mariah nods before the call ends. She stared at herself on her phone screen, the look of fear, and some hope.
“Mariah! Thirty minutes!”
Mariah walked over to her closet. She didn’t want to dress up, didn’t want to make it seem like she was desperate, because she’s not.
I don’t think anyone is more right for my brother than you are
Aaliyah’s words have not left her mind. The feeling of regret has eaten her up. She feels bad for getting mad at him, but could you blame her? He left her after an amazing night for someone else for publicity. She wanted to run back in his arms and forgive him, give him all of the affection they both have been craving from the other. But she can’t. It’s not like her to just give up easily, to just fall on her knees for a guy when he finally notices her. She grew up with only her mom, and she learned the hard way not to just give men what they want.
And even though she does want the certain guy, she needed to see him fight harder for it, for them.
But she has to work harder too.
She was mad at first, but now, she has to fight.
What a christmas this was going to be.
There was soft muffled music playing just outside the Mendes household. Cars were parked on the side of the street, people visiting on this christmas eve.
“I think you can just-” her mom said as she opened the door, holding a dish of food with the other against her hip.
The warmth rushes past Mariah's shoulders, soft holiday music filling her ears, kids yelling and adults laughing and drinking come into view.
“Mariah? C’mon sweetie.” Her mom said, beckoning her further into the home.
She looked down at the carpeted group as she took off her coat, hoping no one noticed her and brought attention to her.
“Mariah!” She hears Karen’s chirpy voice shouted. She had a tray of food in her hand, a christmas themed apron around her waist.
Mariah flashed her a tight lipped smile and walked the small distance to her, giving her a side hug. “Merry Christmas, Karen.”
“And to you, love. Would you like anything to drink?” She put the tray down and wiped her hands off on the apron.
“Oh don’t worry about me, I’ll find my way around.” Mariah insisted, waving off the older woman.
Karen gave her a pointed look, but picked up the tray again and smiled at her sweetly. “Well, this is your home, so make yourself comfortable.”
She smiled back and walked into the kitchen, watching as other people put food on plates and opened drinks. Parents serving their kids food, the kids faces scrunching up as they watch their parents put food on their plate they don’t like.
“Hey Mari.” Mariah turned to see Aaliyah, smiles at her and holding a soda in her hand.
“No boyfriend today?” Mariah teased, picking at the end of the table.
Aaliyah laughs and sips at her soda. “Unfortunately no, he went to visit his family in Edmonton.”
Mariah nods and looks down at her fingers, not knowing what else to say. Where is Shawn?
“He’s on his way.” Aaliyah said out of nowhere, as if she was reading her mind.
“Oh, I-uh I wasn’t going to ask.”
“No I know,” Aaliyah started, her eyebrows raised. “just, thought I’d let you know.”
“Okay.” She breathed out nervously, turning around to pour herself a drink.
After a while, and Mariah has a couple of drinks in her system, her ears perk up when everyone lets out a loud cheer and the front door slamming.
Wait, I’m not ready. She thought.
Mariah hurriedly gulps down her drink, eyes wide in panic. She runs to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her as the yelps calmed down.
“Honey, are you okay?” Her mother knocked on the wooden door, her voice laced in worry.
Mariah scratches her neck in nervousness. “Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”
She waits to hear the footsteps fade before letting out a loud, exasperated breath. She digs her fingers in her hair, eyes bulging, lips chapped from her heavy breathing.
She’s not ready. He hates her for how she reacted. He tried explaining but she kept interrupting him. She waited for this moment for so long and she doesn’t know if she’s ready. He could have completely changed his mind in a day and went back to her, he could have forgotten all about her.
But she won’t know unless she talks to him.
So she straightens out her shirt and unlocks the door, bravely swinging it open to the dark hallway. She sighs heavily, “You can do this.” Mariah softly repeated to herself as she walked into the light of the living room.
And there he was, his tall lanky self walking around greeting everyone. He gets to her mom and as he hugged her he must have whispered something in her ear, because she gives him a knowing smile and points to Mariah.
Shawn stands up straight and flashes her a smile before giving her a little wave before he disappears into the kitchen.
Maria walks further into the living room and thrusts herself into a conversation with one of his aunts, distracting herself.
After a while, a little past midnight, everyone gathers in the living room to share gifts. Aaliyah sat on Mariah’s right while her mom sat on her left. Mariah’s eyes never left Shawn’s figure as he walked into the living room, his tattooed hand holding the neck of a beer bottle, his cheeks rosy from all of the alcohol, his smile wide as he laughed along one of his cousins.
Mariah and Shawn lock eyes for a split second before she looks away and he clears his throat, sitting on the edge of the ottoman across from her.
“Before we get to passing out the gifts,” Karen started as she sat on the floor by Manny’s feet, her arm locked around his leg. “Shawn has to sing his annual christmas song of choice.”
Everyone cheers and claps and Shawn gives his mom a pointed look as someone came behind him and handed him a guitar.
He situated the instrument on his lap and strummed a couple of chords, tuning the guitar. “Any suggestions?”
No one spoke up, people looking around and raising eyebrows at each other. “You choose!” Someone shouted.
Shawn’s brows furrowed as he continued to play with the guitar. Mariah could see his eyes widen in realization as he fixed the guitar on his lap and cleared his throat.
“I’ll be home for christmas, you can count on me. Please have snow and mistletoe,” His eyes flickered up to meet Mariah’s, his fingers plucking each string. “and presents underneath the tree.”
Mariah sucked in a breath, her clammy hands rubbing against her jeans.
“Christmas eve will find me, where the love light gleams. I’ll be home for christmas, and you’ll be in my dreams.”
His eyes were still trained on her as he absentmindedly played every guitar string. Her mind was racing and her heart was beating rapidly as he gazed at her and continued to sing.
“I’ll be home this christmas, darling, I’ll be coming home to you. And there’s nothing in the world, gonna get in my way.”
And suddenly it’s too much for Mariah to take. His stare on her boring holes into her. The words he’s singing hitting her aching heart are too hard for you to handle. She heaves, her hand clutching her shirt to keep the tears in as she runs off.
She hears the gasps and whispered questions as she runs off the back porch, her breath visible in the cold winter air.
She looks out onto the grass, trying to calm her breathing and to stop the tears before they fall down her face when she hears the door slide behind her, heavy feet crunching the snow beneath them.
“Mariah-” His voice was rigid and hoarse from the alcohol and the singing, but she can hear the disparo in his voice, the sadness, the guilt and all she wants to do is turn around and hug the life out of him, but she can’t. She needs to know how he feels before she can do anything.
“I’m sorry.” She interrupted, her voice shaking as she sobbed, the hot tears blurring her vision of the white landscape.
“No honey,” He starts, his hand coming around her to hold her close. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You-you acted exactly how I thought you would and I’m sorry I took you for granted. I was a complete dick for how I treated you and you have every right to be mad at me.” He stroked her arm as she sobbed into his chest, his lips grazing her hair in a sweet kiss.
She calms her breathing before she can think of what to say, his warm embrace bringing her back to reality. “Why didn't you just tell me the truth in the first place?” She sniffed, her arms moving to wipe at her cheeks.
He sighed against her hair. “I guess, I always thought you’d be there for me and I took that for granted. I never meant to hurt you.”
It was silent between them for a while, their minds racing with every little thought they had that could be put into words.
“I want to be with you, more than anything.” He broke the silence, his hand coming up to stroke her hair. “And I will spend the rest of my days showing you just how much you mean to me and how much I cherish you and need you.” He pulls away to cup her face, his fingers warm against the cold tears on her cheeks. “I need you in my life. More than anything and I understand if you want to be friends but I cannot live in a world without you, I refuse to. I’m sorry for all of the shit I’ve caused, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to explain sooner, but I’m here now, and so ready to have you,” He paused, his eyes trailing over her face. “if you’ll have me?”
Mariah stares at him for what feels like hours but it was only a couple of seconds before she lunges further into his arms and kisses him like it’s been a thousand years (it has).
She lets the tears fall against she feels his own start to fall in mix with her as they kiss, teary smiles and laughs between the two as they pull away.
“I want you more than anything.” Mariah sobbed. “I want you through the bad and the good and the ugly, just all of you.”
He nods vigorously in agreement, his smile taking over his face. He cups her face again and pulls her back in a chilly kiss.
After a while of just kissing, they resorted to hugging when their lips were too swollen to continue their attack on the others.
Mariah sighed contently into his shoulder, squeezing him tighter.
“I’m so glad you came home for christmas.”
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