“I will never let you fall, I’ll stand up with you forever”
“Mommy?”
The warmth of the bed around her started a tug of war with her as the little voice outside of the room called out. It was time to get up and adult, or at least mom. Stretching out her hand came in contact with something warm on the other side of her bed. Blinking her eyes open they fell upon him, still sound asleep and her eyes grew. Shit.
“Mommyyyy”
The little voice whined again as the door handle was played with. Shit, shit, shit. She cleared her throat, pushing the haze of sleep away from her as she found her voice while shaking the male next to her awake.
“Hold on baby, I’ll be right there”
She called in the direction of the door as sapphire eyes blinked open and stared at her in confusion for a moment. What was this? He was never asleep later than her, there were very rare cases of that reported and yet here he was in the middle of her bed only just beginning to come around even though it was probably after 8 in the morning.
Oh right, vodka shots while wrapping presents from Santa. She wasn’t sure whose bright idea that had been, wait, probably hers. When liquor was involved it was typically always her fault. He’d made sure to point that one out time and time again.
“You need to leave, like, without her seeing you”
Getting out of the bed she didn’t even give him the time to really focus his eyes on her as she grabbed his tee shirt and threw it at him, her tone hushed as she found sweatpants and a tee shirt to throw on. This was a mess, this was not the image that she wanted to put out for Eleanor, the little girl had enough confusion in her life as it was, why add any more into it?
He was sitting up in bed and running his hand through his hair when she shot him a dirty look for not moving fast enough. She needed him to pick up the pace, there was a three year old outside the door that was probably more than ready to jump into bed and have a little more cuddle time before getting up for the day. At least that was what Eleanor had done lately.
“Wave…”
She almost faltered at the tone of his voice as she heard the mattress in back of her squeak and bend with the sound of him getting up from it. Instantly she looked at him with her lips to her fingers as she watched him get dressed, lecturing herself for the act mentally. Had it been any other time she probably would have thrown all caution to the wind and slipped back into all old habits. But shocking even herself she stood completely firm on it.
“Don’t Wave me, you and I have a lot to sort out right now. I don’t want to make her any more confused by all of this.”
The look he was giving her made her stop her movements and her glare softened as he stepped closer to her then. The way he bit his bottom lip was one of her weaknesses and she could feel her struggle to remain in control waning quickly. God damnit.
“I get it, I’m not complaining. I’m going to head to Sugar Flowers and see Fi for a bit anyway, I’ve got a little bit of Christmas shopping to do. What about dinner tonight? Can I pick you two up?”
His hand was on the side of her neck and she closed her eyes as she leaned against him. They needed to talk, to really talk and get everything out. She knew that, they had a lot of learning to do considering the events of the past three years that had come up and caused chaos.
“I’m proud of you, you know? All of this…”
When he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers she deepened the kiss, morning breath and all. All she wanted to do was to pull him back into bed and let Eleanor snuggle between them for a little while longer. She didn’t like the day until it was afternoon anyway. Sighing as he pulled away she started to turn her head before he’d removed his hands from her hair.
It was in that simple second that she caught sight of something she hadn’t seen before. Grabbing onto his arm in both of her hands she dragged it in front of her so that she could get a better look. Looking up at him he met her eyes for a briefest of seconds before looking away and pulling his arm away from her.
“Jude…”
Grabbing his jacket off of the floor he avoided her, she could tell that was exactly what he was doing which only made her more concerned. The scar there merited a conversation, granted they couldn’t very well get into it when she was in the middle of kicking him out to go take care of their daughter.
But the white line stood out prominent against his wrist. A married mark that didn’t look to be an accidental scar across his wrist. But before she could say another word the little wrapping sound was back at the door, waiting impatiently to begin her day.
“We’ll talk, I love you. Go distract her so I can get out of here.”
With a pit in her stomach she listened to him, regaining herself the best she could as she opened the door and feigned a smile, picking Eleanor up and pulling her away from the door. There were questions swirling through her head, a wonder of what had gone on exactly in the years that they’d been apart.
Was this her fault? How was it not?
“Good morning baby girl. Did you sleep okay?”
Whisking Eleanor into the kitchen she glanced up only quickly to catch Jude as he rushed out the door before Eleanor could notice him too, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Saying they had talking to do may have been an understatement.