#currentemotions

[sassyasylum]

I Just..........Ughhh IDFK!!!!

[30o5]

knowing that my Bestfriend talks to him hurts. there's nothing shittier than having that happen. How could the two people I love so much betray me? She says she's just talking to him because she's a "friendly" person. She says that they come to each other for advice and that " he needs her ". The way he looks, talks, and acts around her is the way he used to act around me. He used to look at me with those small eyes and that bright smile, but now he looks at her that way. He used talk to me from day to night, but now he talks to her. His eyes brighten and his smile widens everytime he sees her, just like he would to me. He makes her laugh and he stares as she laughs, with that look of satisfaction, just like he would to me. They love each other like " siblings ". They hug they touch the talk and just seeing that., it completely destroys me. I die knowing that they talk. i wish they had never met. i get very furious and angry when i see them together i get so fucking mad i dont want them to talk i want him to like me and only me. i want things to be like how they were before when i was the only shining star in his sky. But then i stop to think. i cant do anything about it. Hes not mine i cant tell him not to talk to her. Shes my bestfriend, i talked to her about it but she doesnt understand. He loved me first, but now he loves her. Why did he go after her? My Bestfriend. And why is she talking to him ? I thought she had my back. I wish I had the words to explain everything I feel but some emotions cannot be expressed with words. I feel like a dumbass for still liking him, I mean we were only together for less than a month but yet he meant so much to me. I want to yell at myself for feeling this way because i should completely be over him right now.But it just hurts so much and it kills me knowing i cant do anything about it but to live with it. i hate them both for hurting me. i hate him for talking to her and i hate her for talking go him. i hate feeling like this . Maybe I am over exaggerating , maybe it is normal afterall I can't do anything about it, because he's not mine anymore .

- dec 2014- now ( June 2015 )

[down--for--you]

when u want questions but then u remember that you have like 1 follower and no one likes you

[432pm]

Battles

Everyday, you are in a constant battle with yourself. In this context, I’m not saying it’s a real fighting scene. You could say battles with your wants, needs, emotions etc. A lot. Even people. It’s inevitable. At one point you would question why are you doing this? Why is it happening to me? But as humans we can never run away from it.

We are sometimes spoilt by our own choices, actions and we often blame the after-effects on other people without reflecting back on ourselves. I’m not good with words, I don’t really know how to use synecdoche or metonymy or even those “fancy schmancy” words. But here I’m just writing because there’s something I’d like to share. I have been feeling quite a lot of emotions these days. Maybe because finals are coming soon or so I think.

I don’t wanna mask myself as someone that I don’t know. It’s frustrating that you can’t win a battle with yourself. Or maybe a battle with others but you thought it was yourself? To voice something out but being stopped by your own thoughts. That’s why it’s a constant battle. This is so hard to explain and I’m not sure if others had ever felt like I always do but that’s just it. Truth is I always have these thoughts but those are simply just thoughts.

Humans, they don’t know what you’re going through. They don’t know the perpetual things that run through your mind. Some might be sceptical of your journeys in life, some might not. Sufferings would be compared and such. I guess it’s still unavoidable. When will it end? Who knows.

But maybe all these will easily be forgotten, like those names you write on foggy windows, the snow that melts or even the fallen leaves that you step on sidewalks. The remnants of it won’t be seen. Still, your battles are yours. Keep it with you, though you don’t see see it but mature from it, from those past things that happened. What’s good should be continued on and what’s bad should always be a lesson that’s close to your heart…

[matchingevak]

my thoughts 90% of the time

fuck this, Sherlock and John need to get married right now.

[little-lady-lillian]

The more time I spend in my room alone, the more I hate the outside.

[asmodessa]

rejection is tough but you need to get over it