#cyphtalks

[cyphbae-archive]

Hi ! Remember us ? 😊

If you want to know more about my past year ? It’s down below, but warning, it’s 2020 so it’s not all happy.

If you remember my last post, I was talking about the fact that my life was getting better and that I was excited for the year to come.

WELL...

Everything was fine until march 13th. Because of the pandemic, my hours at my job got seriously reduced (fortunately I was still getting paid), but the hours spent alone made me crazy. 

Also my favorite person in the whole world was supposed to come live with me, her flight was on the 20th of march but the government decided to close the borders (and they still are) on the 18th. So she’s still stuck in France and I moved out of my parents home to stare at her empty room everyday.

On top of that, my BTS show got rescheduled to who-knows-when ? and that was another dream on hold for now.

After that, I got in contact with an old friend of mine and we we’re seeing each other because we really hit it off, but I wanted to take my time. He would come to hang out with me and keep me company and I really felt good with him. 

Summer was kind of better, I had great parties, my parents installed a new pool and that really helped me with my anxiety. When summer ended, I got a really cool post at my job (I’m a childhood educator) and I got the opportunity to have my own group of kids (and that’s honestly the only good thing going on now).

When fall came, I was still seeing the dude, and one night we were coming back and I noticed he was a lot on his phone. I asked him if he was seeing someone else and guess what? HE WAS. So my heart got broken and I spiraled down there, I had self-harm thoughts, I would be spending my days crying, basically isolating myself all the time... And all.

I’m not back on top, but I’m definitely not at my worst...

I got back to reading/watching anime, I got in contact with an old good friend and I see her once a week, I’m still in contact everyday with my girl (we’re still hoping she’ll come soon) and I still have my job.

I know some people had it worst than me this year, but I felt like venting a little.

Like the tag said, I kind of miss Simblr and Neptune so I might come back with her soon !

Hope you’re all taking care of yourselves, I love you ❤

Cyph

[cyphbae-archive]

I played without mods for a little while and I just realised that Neptune's mouth is different and I hate it. 😩

[cyphbae-archive]

🌈 𝕃𝕚𝕗𝕖 𝕌𝕡𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕖 

                    🇱​​​​​🇴​​​​​🇳​​​​​🇬​​​​​ 🇹​​​​​🇪​​​​​🇽​​​​​🇹​​​​​, 🇴​​​​​🇵​​​​​🇪​​​​​🇳​​​​​ 🇮​​​​​🇫​​​​​ 🇾​​​​​🇴​​​​​🇺​​​​​ 🇼​​​​​🇦​​​​​🇳​​​​​🇳​​​​​🇦​​​​​ 🇰​​​​​🇳​​​​​🇴​​​​​🇼​​​​​

A year ago, I wasn’t in a right place, I had panic and anxiety attacks on top of each other… I used to cry myself to sleep, I would cry at work, put the people I love aside, shelter myself from everything, everyone. I was on the verge of depression but I tried to pull myself up and get back on track.

I had many ups and down during the last year but I got there, I managed and I started 2020 with an open mind and heart.

As some of you know, me and my good friend, we had, last year, the plan to live together. She’s from France and I’m in Canada so the process is kind of complicated. 

In October, we learnt that the visa (allowing her to visit and work for 2 years) we were hoping for was a drawing… and that it was closed to inscriptions. We didn’t know when it would open again so we both had a mega down and we kinda crashed. 

I looked for every possible solution (even marrying her, if possible) but nothing was good enough, so we waited… Going down again, we also had fights and everything seemed hopeless.

Until December. When we learned that inscriptions for the visa we’re open. So we hopped on her inscription and we waited again. But let me tell you. Drawing is once a week, on Mondays and like… 15 000 people are waiting for a response so we were hoping but… 

So her inscription was completed on January 11th and the next draw was the 20th. This day I refreshed and refreshed and refreshed the page, waiting for an invitation. From 3 pm to 6 pm nonstop. Around 6:30, I said to her “maybe next week, I don’t think it’ll be tonight”… I refreshed before closing the page just like that and… THE LETTER WAS THERE. We completed the demand and we’re just waiting on some details but around March 15th we should be able to start our lives together. I’ve known her for 4 years, and when I’ll go get her from the airport, this will be the first time ever I see her. We’ve Skyped for hours and talk everyday but I can’t wait to officially see her.

The weekend before, my grandma had to leave her appartement because of her old age, and it’s better for her to be in a specified area with people to look after her. Anyways, her appartement is now free and guess what, I’m 23, I have a steady job and I’m ready to move out so this MARCH 1ST I will be moving out of my parents. I got her table, fridge, stove, and some other appliances so I basically have everything I need.

Also, as some of you may know, for 7 years I’ve been whipped for BTS. And they’re coming to Canada. And my girl will be there. And I’m considering buying tickets for us this Friday. But this is less important, it’s kind of more a dream of mine and I can’t believe I could see my boys, my husband Yoongi with my own eyes soon.

So life is good, it’s never been better. 💖