Hiii babes!! Ohhhh I love thinking of Harry and Niall being besties so therefore any kids they have will also be friends! So I hope you enjoy this little blurb!!💖
-want in on ask night? Look here✨
*I went with you just being their bestie! Hope that’s okay also the names of their kids are very random*
Summary: You join your two bestfriends for a day at the park with their kids✨
“You want me to put my daughter who can’t even crawl yet on the slide? Yeah-not happening Horan.” You stare at Harry who has both hands on his hips, sunglasses in his hair keeping it out of his face, his daughter Grace securely strapped to his chest but most importantly he has a hard glare aimed right at the blue eyed brunette standing next to you.
“Harry it’s a slide what could possibly happen to her while on the slide?”
“She can’t sit up properly so how do you want her to even go down the slide?”
“She’s strapped to your bloody chest Harry! So just go down the damn-”
“Niall James!” You shout his name at the same time you reach over and give the back of his head a nice smack making Harry chuckle while Niall lets out a groan as he turns to look at you.
“What was that for?” Harry rolls his eyes at Niall’s question as he reaches up to slide his sunglasses down over his face.
“Watch your mouth we are at a public park with children around you can’t say things like that.”
“M’sorry but he’s drivin me mental with the helicopter dad routine.” Niall points towards Harry while his attention is still on you. Harry lets out a scoff as he reaches a hand down and gently adjusts the little hat that’s snug on her head keeping her ears warm.
“I’m not a helicopter dad.” You run a hand over your face as Niall turns to give Harry all his attention so they can start the all too familiar argument about if Harry is too protective of his daughter or if Niall isn’t protective enough with his little girl. “I just make sure she’s safe and cozy at all times that’s all.”
“Harry her feet haven’t touched the ground since she was born and that was four months ago.”
“That isn’t true she sits on the floor for tummy time and on her play mat with the fishes she likes to stare at before bed and besides didn’t Angelina trip over a rock the other day and needed not one but two Elsa bandaids for the cut on her knee?”
“Yeah she’s three. She trips. S’what kids do.” As if on queue Niall’s daughter runs over from where she was playing on the jungle gym and tugs on Harry’s pants.
“Hello love.” Harry’s voice has zero hints of annoyance or defensiveness like it did just a moment ago as he looks down at the blue eyed little girl who is smiling up at him with pigtails and a dimple popping out of her cheek.
“C’n she play yet?” Angelina asks in her usual soft sweet tone that normally will get her whatever she wants. Harry looks away from the little girl and down at Grace who started wiggling her fingers and kicking her legs as soon as she heard Angelina’s voice.
“Maybe we can see how she feels about the swing? Would you like to do that?” Angelina just nods quickly before turning around and running off towards the swing set making Harry laugh and Niall turn his focus on watching her to make sure she doesn’t trip over anyone or anything on the way.
Before Harry can take a step in the direction of the swings you walk the short distance over to him and place a hand on his arm. Niall already knows what’s about to happen so he heads off towards the swings so he can help Angelina get comfortable on one and help push her for a bit.
“Let me take her.” Harry doesn’t try to argue with you or tell you no, he just smiles and begins unbuckling her from the carrier so he can hand her to you. “Hello my love how are you? Has your daddy been hogging you all day? I think he has and that’s just rude of him isn’t it?” You coo making her giggle while Harry watches with an amused smile on his face as his bestfriend walks off with his little girl towards the swing.
Happy Saturday night beautiful people! I have been writing for 8 months with the intention of eventually sharing something. I have been far too nervous to do so, but I finally read my writing to my husband and best friend who both encouraged me to post this. I have about 15 written stories, so if you like this LEMME KNOW!
I will tell you that there is TW: miscarriage.
When Niall arrived home that evening he was disappointed to find the house dark, except for the light at the end of the hall, their bedroom.
“Lovey,” he called, continuing his steps into their bedroom. He found her seated in their master bath, their rescue pup, Rosa Barks at her feet. She was staring into space, but met his eyes when he stepped into her space.
Niall, hi,” she forced a smile, as he took a seat next to her, scratching behind Rosa’s ears, “How was the meeting?”
“Just finalizing album artwork, sorry I had to go,” he nudged her shoulder with his, “Why’d you move in here?” When he left she had requested alone time in bed. He had checked on her a few different times, bringing snacks, water, and coffee, which was the only thing she didn’t refuse. Never once had he found her doing anything but writing in the journal he’d bought her a year ago. It was a grey leather bound book with a silver heart in the corner. It currently holds more used than blank pages. They weren't the best at talking things through with each other at the moment, so he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about the words in there. He was hoping that one day she’d tell him all about it, maybe let him read some of it, but he wasn’t holding his breath.
“Change of scenery,” she stated with a shrug, refocusing her gaze in front of her. On the other side of her, he saw 2 items. One was her journal, the other a baby onesie. He felt a sense of panic inside of him. It became obvious that he had not succeeded in the hunt to clear the house of any mention of a baby. Their baby.
“What have you got there, lovey?” he asked, grabbing her hand. She did not return the embrace, and he quickly let it go feeling silly at the unreturned exchange. He felt another feeling rise inside of him, frustration. They had been doing so well.
“Do you ever think about the baby? “ she asked.
Her question made Niall wish he was anywhere but here at the moment. Not because he didn’t want to comfort her, but because he feared being honest with her at this moment. He thought of the baby frequently, but not in the same way that she did. Both of them were sad, but she harbored guilt over the fact that her body had betrayed her. It was something she carried alone, because she wouldn’t let him carry it with her.
At the time of her pregnancy test, she had been getting ready to start her own marketing company and had been vomiting at nearly the same time every morning. At first she thought it was nerves, until she had confided in her mom who teased her about being pregnant, which sparked an internal countdown to her last period, which she realized was late.
She had taken the test alone, and only waited hours to share the news with Niall. She had feared how he would react, but if he was freaked out, he wasn’t letting on. He had immediately gone out, and bought the unborn baby a set of golf clubs, and a guitar. She remembered teasing him that their child might not want to participate in the same hobbies, she remembered when he smiled back, “They won’t have a choice.”
An accidental pregnancy is a weird thing between two people, who love each other, especially as you realize how much you truly want it. She remembers the first 3 weeks after finding out she was pregnant, and all the plans they made for baby Horan, and her upcoming pregnancy. He was excited to learn of her cravings, and to be there anytime she needed him, after he finished his last leg of the tour. She loved that the two shared this super intimate thing between the two of them which resulted in a lot of sex, followed by a lot of time in bed. By week 8, the pair frequently caught the other in daydreams about what he or she would be like, look like, sound like. By week 9, he was leaving for a 13 show tour, with promises of Facetime, belly time, and lots of visits. By week 12, she was calling Niall from the hospital, sobbing about not being pregnant anymore. As quickly as they had dreamt it, it was gone. That was the hardest part for Niall, not being there when she needed him the most, which was why he was choosing to keep her close now.
At the end of week 13, she couldn’t talk about the baby without crying, but found solace in the fact that Niall couldn’t either. By week 17 , Niall had stopped bringing the entire thing up for fear of making her cry, which made him cry. She took this as a sign that he didn’t want to talk about it at all, so she began retreating to the bathroom where she cried alone. Niall took note of this, and would hover outside the door with their pup, Rosa any chance he got. By week 20, Niall had thought his girl was back, but a birthday party in week 22 made her fall apart all over again at the sight of her baby brother’s baby. For week 25, Niall surprised her with a 3 week trip to Hawaii which she accepted, and he could have sworn that he saw the light return to her eyes when she smiled at him and said, “Some time away will be good for me.” During that vacation, he believed she was back, and he found himself hopeful that things were going to be ok, which is why he chose to travel to New York come week 29. Things were not ok though, and week 30 through 39 were spent with her going through the motions of life, crying alone in the bathroom, only this time around she was really good at hiding it. Week 40 brings us to the bathroom floor where Niall and she are sitting. The due date.
Remembering her question, he bumps her shoulder as a playful gesture, trying to engage her physically, “Of course I do, Lovey. You know that,” he smiles at her, and prays that tears don’t fall from her baby blues.
“We don’t talk about it.” She mentions in a very matter of fact tone, she does not engage him physically, she doesn't even look at him as she says, “I’ve cried in this bathroom almost every day for 40 weeks.”
He was confused, he knew she had cried quite a bit at first, but it had all stopped after Hawaii. Hadn’t it? She didn’t allow him time to question, instead stating, “I had a dream.” She was sprouting so many things off, he did not know which one to bite on to, but again she did not give him a chance to offer any feedback, she just continued, “The baby was there. A baby girl.” She took this chance to look at him, which helped him to gauge how she was emotionally, she was lit up, and then started crying suddenly, “She had your nose, and my lips, our eyes. She was the perfect mix of both of us, and it was all so sad, Niall.” She leaned into his side, as he placed an arm around her, stroking her long dark hair.
“Oh lovey, why didn’t you say anything?” He cooed. As her cries continued, he shed a few tears of his own. She didn’t answer his question, instead saying, “I thought about dying today. I think about dying a lot,” she paused, moving away from him as if he was a hot stove top.
Niall’s face softened. Had he been so naïve to think she was fine after everything that had happened? It hurt to hear that she thought of dying so much, he was speechless, which allowed her to continue.
“I’m mad, and sad, and still grieving. I don’t know how to get over this, and it feels like I never will,” she was in hysterics at this point, “I never talk about it. I never told anyone.” He knew that to be true. It was something she had requested of him. The only people who knew she had a miscarriage were the people who knew she was pregnant: Niall and She. She continued crying, and he wasn’t sure what to do, so he did the only thing he could. He held her, rubbing circles in her exposed flesh. He was hoping she would focus on anything, but how she was feeling. He believed it was working, because her cries got softer. What felt like hours was really ten minutes, and Niall decided it time to speak up.
“I’m not much of a talker, darlin’. When we first came home, and had to deal with the weight of it all, I didn’t know how to talk about it without crying, and my crying made you cry, so I decided to be strong for the both of us.”
She closed her eyes, facing him. “I appreciate that, but I think I need to be strong for me now. I need to get some help.”
Niall considered himself a brilliant gift-giver. It didn’t matter who it was, he could always find something for them.Gift-giving was a skill and Niall had it down. However, he was not sure what to get his daughter, Meredith, this year.
“Does she need anymore of those shaky things? Not the rattles, but the ones that are soft?” He asked, looking over at you as you held the child in your arms.
“This!” Niall held the toy up from across the living room where he was looking through the small toybox and trying to take an inventory of what the child already had.
“Baby, she’s six months old.” You said, laughing slightly at the big deal Niall was making out of the gifts. “She won’t remember.”
“Doesn’t matter. There will be pictures.” Niall shook his head, refusing to calm. “She’s got four of these spiky balls.”
“Those are great for sensory. Mer loves them” You shrugged, looking down at your baby.
Meredith was laying in your arms as she did when she was just a few weeks old. There was no reason for it tonight other than wanting to cuddle.
You let your fingers trail along her hairline as she grabbed at your shirt.
“Da-da-da-da-da.” Meredith babbled, making Niall look over.
She had been repeating da, ba, ma, bo, and mo, for a few weeks now. Although it was just her baby babble, it meant a lot to hear “dada” and “mama”.
“Dada’s being crazy.” You said to her, raising your eyebrows and widening your eyes for theatrics. “Tell him you’ll be happy with some normal toys and he doesn’t need to stress.”
Niall laughed as he came over to the couch and sat next to you. Meredith’s eyes travelled from your face to his and she reached her arms out to Niall.
“Hi, honey.” Niall smiled, taking the little girl from you and sitting her on his lap so she was facing him. Meredith had just began to sit, but she wasn’t very stable. Niall put his hands behind his daughter’s back, keeping her as still as possible. “Is mama talking about me?”
Meredith continued to babble nonsense as you cuddled into Niall. “Maybe we could get her a little walker? She can’t use it yet, but for when she can.”
“But we can get her that when she needs it.” He said. His legs bounced slightly, making her babbles turn into laughs.
“You have a lifetime to give her good gifts.” You said, moving your head from his shoulder and closer to his face. “Besides, it’s the 23rd. We’re out of time for anything too crazy.”
Niall turned his face towards yours and gave you a quick kiss.
“Am I a good dad?” He asked once he pulled away.
“Of course you are, Niall.” You told him, wondering what even made him ask that in the first question. “Didn’t you see the way she reached for you? You’re a great dad, honey.”
“Just wondered what you thought.” He shrugged, watching as Mer grew restless sitting. He could tell she wanted to move, so he picked her up and held her in the air over his face. “You need to go to bed, little lady.”
Niall kissed Meredith on the forehead and then brought her down to his chest.
She settled against his chest, grabbing the material of his tshirt with one hand and letting the other touch his neck.
“We’re lucky to have you.” You said. “I want you to know that.”
He looked over at you as well as he could, due to his daughter’s head blocking some of his vision.
“So, how about we take her to Santa Monica for Christmas? She likes the beach.” He suggested, making you laugh.
“A few days afterwards, yes.” You said, holding back anymore laughter. “You’re too nice.”
“Well, Meredith deserves it.” He said. When her name was said she turned her face and pushed off of his chest slightly, so her face was inches from hers.
Niall was a brilliant dad. He had been fortunate enough to be home in her life, mostly. Sure, he still had trips that lasted a few days here and there and late nights in the studio, but he was there. All you could ask was that he tried.
Three weeks had passed since you and Niall welcomed your sweet, lovely, nearly unbelievably cute daughter into the world. These previous weeks were nothing like the months of pregnancy you had endured. She came at 42 weeks after 30 hours of labor.Since then, Meredith had proven to be the most relaxed baby.
It was an early morning, maybe 6 am, and you laid in bed with her on Niall’s chest. She had just gotten into sleeping for about 5 hours at a time, which you both were thankful for. When her first cries came through the monitor just before sunrise, you made your way into her nursery. She was fed, burped, and changed before you brought her back into the bedroom with Niall. He had stirred from his sleep when she first woke up but you had beat him getting out of bed so he stayed behind.
“Mornin, babies.” He said as you came into the room, Meredith nestled in your arms.
“Good morning.” You returned, while coming towards the bed and handing the little girl over to him. Niall kissed her forehead before putting her against his chest.
Once Meredith was situated, her little head against his chest and her arms to her side, curled up near Niall’s neck, you settled in next to the two. He placed a hand on her back, keeping her stable against him.
“Mer, you’re so cute.” You laughed as she brought her head up as best as she could and stared Niall down. “Aren’t daddy cuddles the best?”
After you said that, he pulled you close into him so your head was on his shoulder. Your hand traveled to her head and messed with the minimal hair she had.
“Yes, they are.” Niall answered before turning his head and kissing your forehead, just as he had done with Meredith.
Meredith was paying attention to your face, watching how it moved and the way you sounded when you talked. This was how it went every morning. You or Niall would get her from her nursery, take care of her, and then bring her into your own bed. Some mornings you’d fall back asleep with Meredith, and other times you and Niall would talk while Meredith slept or just watched.
It was, without a doubt, the best part of the day. The morning light would get brighter as Meredith began to get restless, wanting to go into the living room and play. You’d take turns on who showered first in the morning while the other began breakfast and watched Meredith. Baby life was a lot different from the life you shared with Niall in all the years before, but it was welcomed.
hello! this is a little prequel to my niall series “Mother’s Day”, which you can read here!
I am planning to write some more about this little universe, and would love to hear feedback and some more concepts that you come up with! i’m so glad I felt mentally better to finish a piece of work and I'm so excited to share this little world with you all :) Enjoy!!
The warmth of the mild June morning seeps through your skin as you stretch out in bed. You have plenty of room, given that it’s gone eleven o’clock and so your husband will already be halfway around the local golf course with his mates from the pub. He has pulled back the curtains already, knowing how fond you are of waking up in a warm glow with the sun beaming down on you. Sitting up, you smile, gazing out of the nearby window to the somewhat never-ending countryside, seeing grassy hills, lochs, and farms in the not-so-distant landscape.
The peace of the surrounding nature was just one of the reasons you love living here - another being the freedom to do as you liked, as you and Niall are simply locals and nothing more to the people in this little village you now call home. You purchased the house 3 years ago and now, fully decorated, there’s no place you’d rather live with Niall in the whole world.
Usually, you’d be able to relax, or tidy the kitchen from the night before, perhaps even sit outside to soak up some of the glorious sun. But no. Today, circled on the calendar in a bright red ink it is noted that you have a doctors appointment. Meaning that you have to leave your cosy little haven and discuss your health. Something, as of late, you’ve been keeping an eye on.
While this was just a regular three month check up, you know that the words which still weigh you down so heavily, are bound to be mentioned - loss, grief, miscarriage. Even the soft and caring “so how are you doing?” was going to be tough to get through. Despite your recent troubles, your doctor has remained good natured and kind during your appointments. She respects you and your situation, and has been of great assistance medically and emotionally in the past year or so. You don’t mind the company, but rather dread the conversation awaiting you.
oOo
You head out the door after making minimal effort to look better than you did earlier. What need was there to get dressed up when were just going to go to the doctors, come home, and cry? As per usual. You would laugh at the routine you’d accidentally twisted yourself into, but it’s hardly a laughing matter when your husband has to console you for the rest of the week.
Your appointment is 12.30 sharp, and you’re ten minutes early, focusing on the list you’d written in haste a few days prior which had been stuffed into your jacket pocket. It was easier to bring up your list of concerns to the doctor, if it meant you didn’t have to talk about them. This month? Feeling faint, headaches, little energy, irregular periods. All part of the grieving process, maybe.
Maybe not.
“Y/N Horan?” you hear your name called, and tuck the list away back into your pocket before standing, smiling briefly as you follow the doctor through to her office.
“Hi there Y/N...no Niall today?”
“No he...he’s out this morning. He doesn’t know, doesn’t like to check the calendar any more than once or twice a month so...it’s just me” you admit. You didn’t need Niall cancelling his plans and getting uptight and worried about you. It’s better this way, you reckon.
“Well then, it’s your appointment and this of course is all confidential. I hope he is still being supportive?” She speaks calmly, but with a hint of speculation in her tone.
“Yes! Absolutely. He’s great. Just wanted to do this myself. He had plans this morning and I’ve been doing better so...” you tail off, wondering how on earth you will handle this when you return home. You halt that thought with a quick smile directed at the woman sitting opposite you at her desk. “Yeah. He’s the best.”
And he is. Through the last year he’s been nothing but heaven-sent. Holding you close, making sure you rest, eat, and get out of bed on those days that just seemed too hard. You know how much he has suffered too and yet he’d been your rock.
You know that he’s cried at night while he thinks you’re asleep.
Losing one child in the early stages of pregnancy had been bad enough. You’d taken so many tests which had turned out negative, until one finally stated “positive” and “3 weeks”. You only carried that baby for two more weeks before you lost them. You’d cried, he had cried, you took a break from trying, praying that you would heal together and that next time you’d be luckier.
And barely 5 months later you fell pregnant again. You’d thought you were out in the clear at 7 weeks, getting ready to start telling your closest family and friends.
However, instead of calling people to tell them the good news, an ambulance was called, and your bloodied bedsheets were thrown out. In the space of 6 months you’d lost two babies. Two tiny baby Horan’s, who you had promised to give the world to. Both ripped from you in some sick twist of fate.
It wasn’t fair.
“Well good!” Your doctor chirps, dragging your from your thoughts. “I’m glad. It seems you have a great support system at home. Now, are there any queries you-”
“Yes!” you blurt out, before cringing at your own eagerness. You fumble with your list before handing it over. She reads it, taking her time to smooth out the crinkled paper and thinking over every possible symptom and diagnosis she can make from what you’ve written. For you, the silence in the room is deafening.
“Okay...so from this, there’s a couple of tests i’d like to run...would that be alright? I could always schedule you in for another t-”
You stop her again in her tracks. “Now is good. Whatever needs done, I can do it now.”
oOo
You take 3 different types of tests, each taking only a few minutes to register results. The thought that whatever is wrong with you is so tangible and potentially serious that your doctor asks for you to take three tests right then and there, is doing nothing for your nerves. You’re sitting alone in the office as the doctor prints through the results, and you wish - for the first time since you first sat in the waiting room - that you’d at least told Niall. And just maybe, that you’d brought him here, too. He always knew how to make you feel better, safe, and calm, even if he was facing the same outcome.
Your thoughts are interrupted as your doctor walks into the room - luckily with a smile.
“Well, one positive result came up for you”
Your heart just about stops with her news. Positive? A diagnosis about something today? Right now?
Without Niall?
“Oh”, is all you can muster up the courage to say “oh, right”.
“Well I know we spoke earlier and you gave me that list to look through...I thought one of the samples you gave could be used for a pregnancy test.”
Okay, now you really needed Niall here.
The doctor evaluates your reaction and pauses. She shuffles her chair closer and smiles, a true genuine smile. It almost makes you feel better.
“Y/N, you said something about having irregular periods, a couple of near-fainting spells...I wanted to double check just to rule it out but the pregnancy test...it came back positive. I believe that you've just been spotting a little, and you’re not getting the right vitamins you need.”
After hearing the word “positive” you’ve gone blank. You don’t hear much else. It’s the third time you’ve heard this news, yet you’re childless. You swallow back a mix of saliva and bile as it rises in your throat.
“it says you’re between 7 and 8 weeks. I think it’s important we discuss this.”
oOo
Heading home, you clutch the steering wheel, trying to ignore the small pile of paper on the passenger seat in your peripheral vision. Pregnant. Well, you hadn't seen that coming. And your husband definitely won’t either. Your mind is between driving, and wondering how on earth you’ll do this, how you’ll prepare, how you’ll even go about telling Niall because you know the moment you see his face, you’ll break.
It’s a long 15 minutes home. The radio is muted, while the country landscape provides some form of comfort blanket as you worry through each scenario racing through your mind. It’s only 2pm, but you just want to go to bed and sleep away the fogginess of whatever hallucination you're living in. Dream it away and wake up to clearer skies and a sense of understanding.
You roll up the driveway, right next to Niall’s land-rover. You remember when he bought it, not even needing much of the car salesman’s persuasion; “it’s perfect for rural areas, plus big enough to take up to 7 people. Can also fit in any size of child carrier, which we also stock.”
Niall was sold, and at the time, so were you. Now you just see the car and its emptiness. Even if you filled the back seats with shopping or luggage, there was only just the two of you travelling. Well, maybe three now.
oOo
Stepping into the house, you can’t help but already feel your eyes start to brim with tears. Your favourite candle is burning, and you can faintly hear music from down the hallway, coming from Niall’s home studio. You didn’t even mind that it was only 70% soundproof - his talent was unfathomable and you enjoyed listening to him create music as if he was pulling the melodies and chords straight from the sun and stars above.
You shuffle your shoes off, heading over to the studio just to be near him for a moment - just before you fully break. You want to remember him like this; not knowing. Not worrying.
He has headphones on and is scribbling words and chord progressions down. Whether it comes to fruition or not, he thrives on the process. He bashes out a few more chords while you go to take off your coat and move away from the door, when he looks up through a sliver of the window in the door.
He’s surprised, to say the least. Of course, given that he hadn't seen you all day, he’s delighted that he’s finally able to embrace you and spend the rest of his day with his favourite person.
Niall had in fact, been a bit worried when he arrived home to see that you had left in the car. Nevertheless, he decided that spending time in the studio would ease his mind. He’d also been entertaining the possibility of having a pet, a new life inhabiting the beautiful 4 bedroom home you lived in. A puppy, he was thinking - or a kitten if it’s what you’d want instead. He just wants you to be happy, knowing that your true purpose in life is to care for others. It hurts him that you’re barely managing to care for yourself, and that he hasn't been able to give you a child, a little love created by the two of you.
“There’s m’lover, where ya been?” he opens the door and steps out just in joggers and a casual t-shirt. His eyes are pure sunshine, his embrace warm, open, and loving, until he sees you’re trying to hold back tears. In an instant, his eyebrows furrow as his face deepens with worry. His embrace is softer, kinder, now afraid that one wrong word and he’ll have lost you for the rest of the day.
Tentatively, he whispers, stepping much closer to you.
“...What’s happened? hey c'mere”
You can only shake your head silently as the overwhelming mixed emotions build up, and so he pulls you in even closer, hoping that it will make things even a little bit better. You can’t be in his arms for long though, and he realises as you weaken against him. The sofa in the studio is already pulled out and he makes sure you're stable enough to sit you there, before kneeling before you.
“you need to sit, Ni. Please, for me.” And this time it’s not just for the sake of his bad knee.
So he sits, taking your hand to hold, rubbing your thumb with his as he faces you waiting for you to stop nervously biting your lip.
“Baby c’mon, you’re scarin’ me...” Niall prompts you, his own voice shaking now as you both wait for you to get your words out properly.
“I was at the doctors Ni...I, somehow I, I know we weren’t trying but....I’m pregnant”
Your breath is now held, time ticking by so slowly it feels, as you sit there waiting for his reaction. The wind had most certainly been knocked out of you when you were told. The terrifying prospect of having another chance after the trauma of losing two in just a few months prior, is extremely daunting, and causes for a true silence to be better able to come to terms with the news.
“And i’m scared, we stopped trying because we can’t lose another one...not again.” Your voice breaks as you finally let the tears fall.
The whole time, he’s been frozen still, his mouth parted slightly and blinking every few moments when another stream of information floods his brain with possibilities - both positive and negative. He can’t quite believe it, all this news coming to him at once leaves him utterly speechless. He’s surprised, not only that you went to the doctors office alone, but that you’re expecting his baby, too.
He finally breaks the dam of deafening silence as he sees you cry. Your words had previously been muffled in his head ever since you had said “pregnant” when his mind began racing a mile a minute. But now you’re in front of him, crying, and scared of losing yet another baby, something that has broken you twice before, back when he world felt against the two of you and when soft touches and intimacy were coated with what-ifs, and an unmistakeable tension between the two of you.
You weren't sure you could face that for a third time.
“Darlin’, oh darlin’ it’ll be okay...” he comforts you, immediately by your side and holding you close “Did the doctor say the baby was healthy?”
Seeing you nod through your tears was enough for him, his face lighting up as you confirm that you’re growing a healthy baby.
“Yeah?” he smiles softly “Please don’t cry. I can’t see ya like this. Can’t see the mother of m’child like this...we’re gonna be parents” and in his wonderful charming way, he’s finally able to get a small smile from you. He squeezes you and kisses your temple as he sees this. “This is gonna be it, I can feel it. We deserve this. S’gonna be alright this time. M’gonna look after ya.”
“But what if it’s not alright again Ni..I can’t lose a third...I can’t put us through that again...what if I can’t carry a baby full term and I only ever get to be 8 weeks along! I-” You burst out, confirming Niall’s thoughts that the pressure of a healthy pregnancy was weighing you down already, your past already threatening you with the worst before you even get to envision the best. He’s about to console you further, explaining that you’re just early, you can take it slow, and he’ll be there for you regardless, as he promised when he married you all those years ago.
It’s not until you say 8 weeks, that he halts his words before he’s even begun, and his mouth falls open in surprise.
“8 weeks...8?! Already?! You’ve definitely had a drink or two love, and we’re not exactly tame in the bedroom...’v’never made it this far before...does it not make ya think....that this one is already so strong?” Niall reasons with you, tenderly. Your tears have run down your cheeks and your face remains red and slightly puffy but for now, you’ve stopped crying, considering his words carefully.
“Yeah i guess..it’s just terrifying Ni, I can’t-” you start off strong, but continue your thoughts with your head bowed in shame, whispering “it’s like I’m scared to love them...’
He shushes you, heartbroken that you feel even the tiniest bit of doubt that this time, it won’t happen. That this is just another set up for a certain loss. He kisses your temple, his arm wrapped around your waist protectively.
“Whatever happens, we have each other. we’ll do what we have to do. But ya gotta know that i’m gonna start loving on this baby from this very moment, ‘cause i know we’ve got a little fighter in there.”
And he means it. He intends to keep that spark of hope alive for the both of you until you feel like perhaps there is a happy ending, and that the third time is the charm after all. He takes you upstairs after he’s able to lift your spirits, the studio soon filled with soft laughter and so much love. When you go to order some dinner, he absolutely insists on you making an appointment to see the baby.
He’s with you through all of your fears as you candidly discuss them together that evening. It’s something that your doctor had recommended, and it means that you’re both on the same page. He can soothe your worries, and you get to tell him everything you know about the baby. It makes it much more real and far less scary when you look at things together.
oOo
You head to bed together that night. He’s soothed almost every little worry you have for hours and in turn, he’s now an expert on the tiny little love inside you.
“Gonna get ya some vitamins tomorrow. Gotta keep ya strength up for this little lover” Niall whispers in the darkness of the bedroom.
“Little lover is a cute nickname,” you muster up the courage to hope and dream, “we can write that on their crib, too.’
Niall grins.
The curtains are shut as you both lay there, talking about all the possibilities you have now as three. He’s pressed against you in the middle of the bed, his hand with his wedding ring on your barely-there belly. You feel safe, comfortable, and most surprisingly of all, excited. The love between you and Niall in this very moment is tangible and deeper than you could’ve ever imagined.
You may be in the same room as you woke up anxious and alone in that morning, but here, now, in that very place, you realise that home is a person, not a place.
What would Dad!Niall do when he finds out his youngest daughter lost her virginity? (Say she's like16)
Hi babes! In my head i just imagine him finding out while walking past his daughters bedroom and overhearing her on the phone mention something about it to her friend. He’d stop dead in his tracks and his eyes would be as wide as softballs and he’d have to stop himself from barging into his daughter’s room and demanding to know what the hell she was talking about. Instead he’d just rush to the master bedroom where he knew you’d be in the bath and start pacing up and down the length of the bathroom all while mumbling things like “she’s me little girl how’d dis happen? Well I bloody know how it happened but what the bloody fuck m’sposed to do?” He’d look at you and when you just shrug because you’d known this tid bit of information for about a week already. “Der never gonna be alone in dis house again lemme jus tell ya that right the fuck now. Not even for a millisecond......m’feelin like m’havin a heart attack. Do you smell burnin feathers? M’havin a stroke. Bloody hell.”💖
