Dementia-I can honestly say that I have experienced nothing like this.
It’s weird, because you watch the steady decline, and you think it can't possibly get worse, but it always gets worse. I can’t say that I have ever lost someone close to me, but I have a sense of mourning. I’m mourning who dad used to be. Can I mourn a life that’s still here?
Maybe one day when he IS gone I’ll humbly write an apology to all you who have lost a family member and I’ll say: I’m so sorry that I said I mourned him when he was still here.
Someone asked me why I go to see him, when it clearly is difficult. I go to see him because I know one day that won’t be an option. And (selfishly) because he STILL smiles when he sees me, that never gets old!
I go to see him because he’s my dad, and because I love him. I go to see him for those of you who would give ANYthing for just one more visit with YOUR daddy.
This particular visit was a good one. Dad used to line up his plate, fork, spoon, food, cup, etc. with precision and symmetry. And this balancing act? I can remember him doing this since I was a kid.
Just before this video he had balanced his spoon, but he knocked it off. I wasn’t sure that he could do it again, it definitely wasn’t easy and I feared he might give up. If you look closely, you can see a bit of pride in his face once he did it.
And that’s another reason to go visit: on the off chance he might be having a good day.