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Hook: They're bad influences.

Peter: Takes one to know one.

Hook: I am a great influence on you.

Peter sarcastic: Yeah, like that time you threw a book out the window in a rage and had to buy a new window.

Hook: That's different! You don't know the stress of adult life.

Peter: I'm looking at the embodiment of stress right now, he doesn't seem too grown up.

#peter pan #hookdust suburban au #disney #captain hook #dad captain hook #musings

When the school calls you and tells you your adoptive son overthrew the principal.

#peter pan stepdad au #peter pan #disney #captain hook #captain hook disney #alternate universe #dad captain hook

@incorrectneverland here you go:)

@chaosgremlin95

#captain hook #peter pan #disney #dad captain hook

Peter: If you die I'll never forgive you.

Hook: What?

Peter: I said I bet I can outlive you!

#peter pan #incorrect peter pan #incorrect quotes #captain hook #disney #dad captain hook

Peter: I wanted to apologize.

Hook: Wait hang on-

Peter: I didn't realize throwing your hand to tik tok would cause him to hunt you down forever.

Hook: That's not allowed! You can't just apologize -

Peter: I was just trying to look cool like you, I mean you kill people in super cool ways all the time.

Hook: You're making it very hard to stay mad at you-

Peter: So I'm going to kill the croc for you as an apology.

Hook: Well...who am I supposed to be mad at now!?

Peter: I mean.... Tinkerbell? Maybe the mermaids? My neglectful mother? They all had a hand in shaping me, but maybe you could join me in therapy instead.

Hook: therapy...?

Peter: Wendy's been taking me there apparently it's supposed to help us work through my issues. I didn't like crying but I felt really good afterwards so...

Hook: ...it does sound appealing now that I'm losing the will to live again.

Smee: I've already set up an appointment capn.

#peter pan #incorrect peter pan #captain hook #incorrect quotes #disney #mr. smee #dad captain hook

@tragicbeauty1991

Peter: Tea is nothing but hot leaf juice!

Hook: That's what all tea is you moron.

Peter: How could you?

#peter pan #disney #thanks for the request!#dad captain hook

Hook on the phone: Zarina? ...yeah he's doing fine....He made a new friend at school....I didn't ask....well why should I care what the boy does if he isn't setting something on fire!? ....he's nothing like me I wasn't- now hold on-.... you're still mad about the car? ...we all make mistakes...The building was abandoned! .....don't be a sore loser... I do not sound like Peter!....oh, hm let me check.....yes......*sigh * yeah I remember.....I hate you too. *Hangs up *