#dad's jokes

[what-username-where]

The radio: I LET MY GUARD DOWN, AND YOU PULLED THE RUG,

My dad who hates that song: out from under me and I fell down in the shower

Me: why do you have a rug in the shower

My dad: that's why she was pulling the rug out of the shower

[roowinters]

So... I just came out as Bisexual to my dad, he was pretty cool about it, he even made a joke. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!

[everythingjiminie]

Seokjin: what do suga and jhope use in the shower?

bts: ...

Seokjin: SOPE *windshield laugh*

[what-username-where]

Dad: how ya doin ?

Me: I could use a drink

Dad: What do you want?

Me: Tea

Dad: Sweet tea?

Me: Yeah

Me: and a kitty

Dad: A kidney???

Me: a kiTTy *points at shadow on the floor*

[what-username-where]

So, background. It's foggy as fuck outside, and I'm taking pictures of the streetlights because ~aesthetic~

And my dad goes

You might catch a picture of Bigfoot running past out there. Or mothman. Or Luigi.

[what-username-where]

Dad drives past a stump : eek somebody stole a tree

[what-username-where]

Dad: I COULD /NEVER/ BE A PRIEST

Me: *confusion*

Dad: *wearing robe* I keep getting these sleeves into my Ketchup! I could never wear those long robes! I'd be on fire the first time I passed a candle!