“You're… pregnant? By me?”
Sungmin looked down at the papers, and then back up at you, as though your five-month bump hadn’t already given you away. You knew he remembered you – he wasn’t the type to get so drunk that he blacked out – but you could see the disbelief in his eyes, despite his calm demeanour. His manager sat beside him at the table across from you, and a company lawyer on his other side. You had never felt more alone than you did right then.
It had taken a lot of work on your part to even get the company to agree to have him sit down with you. It had been just a one night stand, after all. It wasn’t their responsibility to babysit their artists. His manager frowned.
“This is ludicrous. How are you even sure it was him that knocked you up?”
That stung, and it took all your strength to not start bawling outright. You weren’t a slut.
“There wasn’t anyone before, and there hasn’t been anyone since,” you said. You look down at your hands folded in your lap, not able to help the embarrassed flush that stains your cheeks.“Sungmin is the father of my child, of that I am sure.”
“So what are you here for, then? Child support? To ruin his reputation for your own fifteen minutes of fame?” snapped the lawyer. “This is extortion. I’m sorry to ruin your little fangirl dreams, sweetheart, but—”
“I’m not here for any of that!” you tried to interrupt, to defend yourself, but the lawyer kept talking over you. Your hands trembled in your lap and you clenched them tighter with the effort it took not to cry.
“—you’re not going to get a cent until a paternity test confirms that. Just because you had too much to drink and threw yourself at the first person who would take you—”
“Sir.”
Sungmin’s voice was quiet, but stern enough to stop the lawyer’s words in his throat. “Can’t you see she’s upset enough? Which is besides the fact that I’m as much as fault as she is. So unless you intend to sit there and point fingers at me as well, let her speak.” He did not smile at you, but the look on his face was kind, and you were so, so grateful for it. You swallowed the lump in your throat and continued.
“I’m not here for any of that,” you repeated. “I’m not here for money, and I haven’t told a single soul who the father is. Even my own mother thinks that I don’t remember getting pregnant.” You drew a shaky breath. “I thought that he should know. That he has a child on the way. If it were me in his shoes, I’d want to know. So that’s why I’ve come.”
“I don’t believe a word of it,” the lawyer said, discontent souring his face. “You went through all that trouble to even get your foot in our doorstep just to tell him that? For what purpose? All you’ve done was bring up a whirlwind of a PR scandal on the brink of busting out.”
Sungmin frowned, but didn’t say anything further. He was curious, too, you could tell.
“You don’t have to believe it, sir,” you said curtly. “And it won’t matter, as I’m moving back to my country soon. I give you my word, there will be no scandal. The only thing I really want—”
“There’s the catch,” muttered the manager.
“—is to thank you, Sungmin.” You finished as though the manager hadn’t said anything. Sungmin blinked in confusion, and even the lawyer kept his mouth shut. You feel that embarrassed flush coming on again, but you don’t look away from Sungmin. “I hold no delusions about what happened that night. We were both totally plastered when we made it to the hotel. There was nothing romantic about it.”
The tears slipped out despite your efforts. You squeeze your hands together even tighter, and let the words tumble out of your mouth before you lose the nerve. The shame of admitting this in front of two men who clearly had nothing but contempt for you. “But for the first time in my life, I felt what it must be like to be loved. I was a virgin up until that night, and I doubt I’ll ever get married. Thanks to you, and our stupid, drunken mistake, I get the chance to experience what it’s like to be a mother. And I can’t thank you enough for that.”
The men across the table from you sat in stunned silence. You reached into your bag for tissues to dab at your eyes, and cleared your throat. You weren’t expecting anything from them when you walked in, so you murmured a quick greeting and stood to leave.
You’d almost made it to the door when you heard the scrape of a chair.
“Can I see a picture of the baby?” You turned around and looked to see Sungmin had stood. Gone was his collected disposition, replaced by one marred with uncertainty.
“When… they’re born?”
You smiled, barely. This was certainly a lot better than the reaction you imagined you’d get from.
“She. It’s a little girl.”
“Sungmin, don’t. You don’t want to get involved–!” the manager started, reaching for his arm. Sungmin shook it off.
“I just want to know what… what she looks like.”
“I have to agree with your managers, Sungmin. It’s dangerous to your career for you to have anything to do with me, or my daughter.” Sungmin opened his mouth to argue, but you held up a hand. “But yes, I will see to it that you get a photo when she’s born. I owe you that much, for causing you so much trouble.” With that, you bowed and excused yourself from the room.
”She’s gorgeous.” Sungmin’s voice was tinny on the other end of the line, but you can hear how affected it is by the photos in the email. “Little Saerin.”
“She is,” you agreed. You were quickly starting to regret giving Sungmin your phone number in the email with the photos you’d sent, both for the phone bill and for the fact that you weren’t even supposed to be talking to him. You swore that giving him your number was strictly to ensure he got the email, that he wasn’t even going to call and would just follow your instructions to send a quick text and never speak again. You should have just ignored the call.
“You’re both doing well, I hope?”
“Mm.” You needed to cut this conversation off now. He got the pictures, now say goodbye. “I heard you’re getting married.”
“Yeah. I told Saeun, just so you know. She wasn’t happy, but she said she wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of meeting her.”
You heaved a sigh.
“You and I both know that’s not a good idea, Sungmin. You have your career, and even when Saerin is older if anyone ever found out you were her father, there’d be chaos. I’m not going to put my daughter through that.” You emphasized your daughter. You didn’t want to hurt him, truly. But he was treading dangerous waters.
There was a tense silence on the other end, and finally Sungmin said, “Can you at least send me more pictures from time to time? You said it yourself, if it were you in my shoes you’d want to know.”
You really just wanted to put this all behind you. As much as you used to adore the man, though, and as much as you still did respect him, in the end you just couldn’t bring yourself to deny a father his baby girl.
“I guess I can manage that. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, Sungmin.”
Another pause.
“Thanks. Congratulations on a healthy delivery.”
You smiled.
“Thanks. I’m hanging up now. Goodbye, Sungmin.”
