The One That Got Away - Part 4
A.N. - Part 4 is finally here! I hope everyone enjoys - please let me know your thoughts or even pop into my inbox so we can talk :)
Pairing: Single Dad Harry Styles
Summary: Harry's stuck in a sticky situation where he has to ultimately pick between his own personal life and his role as a father. However, what happens when he wants to take some time alone and runs into his daughters mother while she is supposed to be with him?
Word Count: 4.1K
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Harry
-
“Harry, I love you too but I don’t believe that you’re in love with me as much as I am to you.” Liz’ confession stings me because that's not true in the slightest. Her big blue eyes are starting to brim with a few tears and my heart sinks even more. I in no way wanted to make her feel this way, even in the slightest.
“Liz, that is absolutely not true. I-I-I-I don’t even know what else to say right now, I feel as though I have said and done everything to prove to you that I am ready to move further with you and this relationship and it doesn’t seem like you’re listening to me.” I am starting to become irritated with this conversation now. I don’t know how many times I can tell one person that I love them and want to move forward with them but my life is complicated and it’s not as easy as she thinks. Her life compared to mine is much easier, she does not share a child with someone else, nor does she have to take someone else's needs into consideration, for all intents and purposes she could move across the country tomorrow if she wanted to and there would be nothing holding her back here.
“Let me move in with you.”
“What?” Her demand comes as a surprise to me.
“Let me move in with you. If you're serious as you say then let me move in with you.”
“Baby, you know it’s not that simple.” She knows that making this type of demand comes with a lot of planning and consulting with the mother of my child. She is fully aware of the agreement that Alena and I have and, again, I have someone else to think about in this situation.
“See Harry… This is our problem - you always have to ask for permission from her before you can do anything with your life, well I am sorry, but I am not waiting around nor am I sharing our life with her." My patience is running thin at this point - she has no business nor right to make that statement, especially when I have been an open book with her about most of my wrong doings I have done in my life. Her words are spiteful.
“ If that’s the case, then I don’t think it would be wise to continue seeing me then.” my chest is continuing to ache and my stomach is at the bottom of the pit currently. “ I have a beautiful daughter that I share with someone, and her mother is going to continue to be a part of my life in one way or another and if you can't accept that, then I don’t think we should continue this relationship we have.”
“But Harry?” my words have obviously affected her, however, I am not going to make promises I can’t keep, she is aware of my circumstances and what comes along with being with me. I typically would have some empathy for her because she truly is a sweet and kind hearted girl but she is being spiteful and I am not going to allow her to try and gaslight me as if I am the problem.
“Liz, I think it’s best you go inside and we revisit this conversation another time. I don’t want to argue about this, especially because my mind is not going to change on this.” And with that, she unbuckles herself from the passenger seat, gathers her belongings and gets out of my car. She did not mutter another word. I don’t know if this means that I won’t be hearing from her anytime soon or she’s just over this conversation. She is typically a very talkative and expressive person so her silence was sharp and knife-like. I watch her make herself into her apartment building and I wait until I see her living room light turn-on to signal that she has made it inside her apartment safely.
As I drive off back toward my mothers house, instant regret and sadness over-fills me. I don’t understand how this day started off happy,to now being most likely it's the end of our relationship. Elizabeth is the first girl that has really sparked something inside of me in a while, she was the total package but no matter how great she is - she has to accept the biggest part of my life, with the good and the bads and if she can’t do that then that's a deal breaker.
-
“Harry, dear, what's wrong?” I have just arrived back at my parents house to pick-up Aria but on the way here tears just began to spill out. I didn’t even shed this many tears when my daughter was born - how pathetic of me.
“Mum, I really don’t feel like talking about it.” I scan the room but don’t spot Aria.
“ Where’s my princess?” Aria really did save me. I truly believe that if it weren’t for her, I would be in a much darker place in my life.
“She’s asleep…” my mum pulls out a chair from her kitchen table as do I and we both take a seat. My mum is sitting across from me and I can tell just from her facial expression the concern and worry she has for me now and will do her absolute best to pry out the truth from me.
“ I think Elizabeth and I have broken up.”
“W-What, Harry, I thought everything was going great between you two?” her face is now covered by confusion and worry. “For fuck sakes, Harry, I just met the girl tonight and you’ve already broken up with her?” She's now rubbing her temples with both hands. Her face is illuminated by the single dim kitchen light fixture, yet I can still see her facial expressions clear as day.
“Mum… she was trying to give me an ultimatum that I can’t agree to.”
“W-Well what was it? Not going out, not drinking, not smoking? What is it?” her ignorance is bliss, she’s talking out of her ass.
“No, she asked, no, demanded she move in with me. She feels as though I am not devoting enough time to her and not making her a priority.”
“Well is that true? Is she not a priority for you?”
“She is - but she needs to understand that my daughter comes before anyone else. It’s not as easy as she may think it is.” This conversation is starting to irritate me, I don’t need to justify my reasonings for anything to anyone - not Liz and not even my mum. “My role as a father comes before my role as a boyfriend, and if she can’t accept that, then that’s on her.”
“ Harry, don’t be so harsh on the girl. I’m sure it’s difficult for her as well - sharing her time with someone else, a child that you share with someone else - a child that will have things come up and plans with said girlfriend may have to be rearranged.” My mother lays her hand on top of mine and gives it a squeeze. “Don’t be so stubborn, and don’t be so serious - I’m sure she didn’t say anything inappropriate about Aria.”
“No, she did not.”
“Harry - I think you should leave Aria with me tonight - I will take her to your home so she can sleep in her own bed because it’s getting late and you get yourself together, go for a walk, stay here - I don’t care but you don’t come home to your daughter until you get yourself together.”
“Fine.”
-
After my mum left with Aria I did not go for a walk, nor did I stay at her house, I drove to the first place that I knew would help me get my mind off of things. I just valeted my car and made my way to the entrance of the building.
“Styles! I haven’t seen you in a long time. What is going on?” Josh, an old buddy of mine is at the door, carding and greeting people into the establishment. Josh is a stocky guy, with dark brown hair and a bit of facial hair, he hasn’t changed much since I last saw him.
“ Oh, you know, busy with life my man. I hope all is going well with you.” Josh is a great guy, no doubt about that, but after a few drinks one night he has professed to me that he didn’t feel like he had a purpose in this world, didn’t go to college, didn’t have any hobbies that motivated him besides women and drinking, which is why he most likely started at this place and unfortunately I don’t believe he will be leaving anytime soon.
“ That’s great to hear man, hey, I’ll catch you inside after my shift if you stick around!” I swiftly nodded my head and flashed him a smile, but I’m hoping that I get one or two drinks in me, calm myself down and head back home to Aria, I am not trying to stay out all night - I can’t go back to my old tendencies.
As I make my way through the double doors, then the vestibule, I am reminded of the familiar scenery and scent of this club. It’s one of the most popular clubs within the city, and it is the place to be. It’s constantly filled with beautiful single women waiting to be flirted with, taken care of and 9 times out of 10, be taken home and shown an even better time. I would be lying if I said I never partook in any of those activities, in fact I could probably count a few things that I’ve done in that private stall to the left of me.
The bar seems to be occupied with people ordering and then making their way back to the dance floor, which fortunately enough for me means that there's a few empty seats at the bar. The same old bartender that’s been working here for the past few years greets me as she always has.
“Hey there Stud, y’d like your usual?” She’s a petite woman, with short blonde hair and these piercing blue eyes, she really is a looker, her name is Shannon. When I first started to come around to this place, Shannon had just started working here and she was fresh to the scene, she was very naive at the time and was known to give some special “deals” while she was working during her shift. For instance, one random Saturday night she was flirting with me at the bar, had her pretty blue eyes keep batting away at me and her tits were pushed up to her chest and her ass cheeks were hanging out of her shorts the perfect amount and one thing led to another and we ended up in the bathroom, she gave me a blowie right then and there. For months I was fixated on the way her plump lips wrapped around my cock, so I kept coming back for more and more until I became fixated on someone else.
“Yes, please.”
“Where’ve you been Stud? I miss you.” She walks over to grab a glass and some ice to put vodka club in and as she walks by, I notice she has a similar pair of shorts on as she had on the night we had together in the bathroom.
“I’ve been around - haven’t been getting out much.” She’s the last person that I want to discuss any personal dilemmas with.
“You? Not getting out much? You’re either seeing someone or knocked someone up." She laughs at her own comments and walks away to assist another customer calling her name, but I’m sure she wouldn’t be laughing if she realized both were true.
-
I’ve been here for about 30 minutes and I’ve had roughly about 4 drinks. I had capped myself at two but drowning my thoughts and sorrows of the day with alcohol just feels too good. The alcohol has me feeling loose and calm, it almost feels as though all of my past, present and future problems have no meaning because I’m just in a state of serenity right now. I’ve been chatting with Shannon on and off while I’ve been sitting here at the bar, and she’s already offered twice to go into the bathroom and relive a past endeavor but I’ve declined twice. I may be drunk and emotionally unstable, but I am not stupid enough to do something I will regret once I am coherent again.
I am just about to get up and go to the bathroom when I hear a familiar voice shouting up at me.
“ Harry, where the hell is Aria?” It took me a second to realize who it is but once I do, I am shocked. Alena, the mother of my child, is standing right infront of me in the club. She looks immaculately and effortlessly beautiful, her dress is skin tight and leaves little to the imagination while making me feel a little over protective of her? Why is she even wearing something so tight? I can practically see her nipples, and her curves hug her dress in all the right places. I recognize this dress - she wore this dress once before and dare I say that she looks even better wearing it now.
“What the hell are you even doing here and what are you wearing? You look silly.” I’m lying to myself and to her, because she doesn’t look silly, but I can’t let her know that I think she looks effortlessly gorgeous.
“Harry, do not fucking play games with me. Where the hell is my daughter and why the hell aren’t you with her right now?” I tug her arm gently so she can take a seat next to me, so she isn’t shouting in front of everyone, but also if I stand up for one more second I may actually piss myself.
“Relax, she’s at my house with my mum. I came out for a drink or two and headed home.” I don’t want her blowing this instance out of proportion but I know deep inside, being here while I am supposed to be caring for Aria is not the most responsible decision.
“Harry, do not tell me to relax.” her cheeks are puffing out like they always used to when she was annoyed or frustrated with me. “Is this” she’s pointing around the club, “what you are doing while she’s with you during the weekends?”
“What the fuck - no. Do you think I’m that much of a piece of shit?” I can’t believe she thinks this low of me to assume that I am doing this every weekend while our daughter is at my house. I may have been a shitty partner, but I vowed to never be a piece of shit father who doesn’t care for his child.
“ Don’t act like that would be so far-fetched. We both know what you’re capable of.” If I wasn’t already feeling like a horrible human being, this really is the icing on the cake. “Oh why thank you, because you’re the mother of the year - I apologize for not being as perfect as you.” the alcohol was starting to kick in and I wasn’t even aware of what was coming out of my mouth, however, I can tell by Alena’s expression she’s brewing with anger.
“I’m not going to sit here and argue with you here, Harry. Enjoy your night, and don’t you worry about dropping Aria off in the morning - I’ll come pick her up bright and early.” I didn’t even know what to say next, so I didn’t even bother stopping Alena from walking away and apologizing to her for what I said. Before making matters even worse, I pay my tab, ask for a bottle of water and make my way home.
-
I’m woken up by the sound of two little feet patting their way across my bedroom and soft sniffles. When I’m finally woken up, I pull Aria under my duvet and lay her next to me.
“Bubs, what’s a-matter?” Her tear stained face nuzzles into my chest as she makes herself comfortable.
“U-U-Uh I-I-I had a bad dream, and I’m scared.” Her broken voice breaks my heart, but I know this is normal for kids her age, she has a bad dream at least once a month while she is with me and we go through the same routine in which she comes and lays in bed with me and we fall back asleep together.
“ T’s okay Bubs, you’re safe here with me now.” I can feel her drifting off to sleep and selfishly I’m thankful for that - when looking at the time on my phone it clearly read 5:23 AM. Which means I’ve only been asleep for roughly about 3 hours. After my interaction with Alena at the club, I was left so embarrassed that I sobered up as quickly as I could and drove myself back here. It wasn’t enough that Alena gave me a piece of her mind, but as soon as I got home my mum could smell the alcohol on my breath and I had to hear it from her as well. I was embarrassed beyond belief, but all I wanted to do after the night I had was check on my baby girl and then go to sleep.
“I love you so much, daddy.” I could never get tired of hearing that.
-
I’m woken up again by the vibration of my phone. Alena texted and called me to notify me that she’s outside waiting for me to let her in, while getting out of bed doing my best to not wake up Aria I glanced over at my phone and see that it reads 7:38 AM, she wasn’t kidding when she said bright and early. I slip out of my pajama pants and slip on a pair of lounge shorts and make my way down my stairs and into my foyer to let Alena in.
When I open the door, she’s standing there in a pair of leggings and a cropped t-shirt, her hair seems to be styled in the same waves that it was last night. Her face has now been washed away of all that make-up she had on last night, and she seems to have a softer aroma on her.
“Where is she?” her demeanor doesn’t seem to have changed since last night.
“She’s up in my bed asleep, she woke up about 2 hours ago because she had a bad dream. The only way she seems to fall back asleep is if she nestles herself into me.” I’m hoping the topic of our daughter and her unfortunate nightmare softens Alena up.
“Yeah, she does the same with me too. She likes when I wrap my arm around her.” I lead her through the open-floor plan of my home and lead her to my kitchen island so I can make us some coffee.
“Listen, Harry, I apologize for snapping at you last night the way I did. I shouldn’t have done that.” she has no reason to apologize here but as always, she has to be the bigger person. “It just really took me by surprise to see you there the way I did.”
“There’s no reason for you to apologize, however, if you had allowed me to talk last night I would have gotten to the reason why.” I truthfully would have told her everything last night if she had allowed me to, but out of frustration, she let it out all at once.
“ I was irresponsible last night, and after an argument I had with my now ex-girlfriend I needed to get out. I probably should have gone for a walk or even a drive - but I went somewhere that felt comfortable and went ahead of myself.”
“Oh?” her eyes are fixated on me while I talk, which is something I admire most about her. No matter who is speaking to her, she makes it a point to make them feel like they are the most important person in the room and she is just absolutely transfixed with them.
“ I’ll spare you the details, but, I think it’s important for you to know that she asked if she could move in here and I told her no, because my relationship with our daughter is more important to me than any romantic relationship I may encounter.” her face begins to soften, and she waits for me to complete my thought before she speaks up.
“Harry, you don’t have to share the intimate details of your relationship with me.”
“No I don’t, but I also don’t want you to think I would ever do something to jeopardize my relationship with Aria or make you feel uncomfortable.” The coffee pot chimes signaling it’s beginning to brew. I swing my weight onto my counter top, where I perch myself up. “I know you have your thoughts about me, and rightfully so, but I will do everything in my power to prove you wrong.” These words weren’t supposed to come out as threats, but more so as promises, because I promise to be the best father I can possibly be.
“ I’ve never said anything negative about you to anyone, not to my friends, my parents, your mum, no one - especially our daughter.”
“Yes, but I’m sure you’ve thought about it.”
A gasp escaped her lips, “ Yeah, and I’ve also thought about marrying Leonardo DiCaprio but it doesn’t make it true.”
This playful banter is not common within our relationship, if that's what you would even call this - but it’s refreshing.
For the next 30 minutes, we stayed sat like we are, drinking coffee and making small talk about Aria, my mum, her parents and just random news we’ve heard about in the world, sitting and having light-hearted conversations with Alena is different than our norm, but I’m happy we are moving in this direction even if it may be in very small increments.
Aria woke up not too long after, and came downstairs searching for me but as soon as her eyes caught sight of Alena, it was game over for me - she attacked her mother with hugs and kisses and expressed how much she actually missed her.
Shortly after, Alena and Aria made their way back home and I am left alone again with my own thoughts and contemplations on what I should do about my situationship. But, instead of dealing with it like an adult - I decide to take the high road and go upstairs and lay back in bed.
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