today i went over to my hometown by myself
and i sat around at the pier for a little bit and got my friend her birthday and christmas presents, but before that i went to the town next door and sat in my favorite coffee shop there for a little bit. i order a mocha and put a bunch of the chocolate powder in it, like i always do. it’s the coffee shop that i told him i would take him to if he ever found his way down to where i live. once i remembered that, i went around to all of the other places i told him i would take him and i just walked around. then i drove passed my middle school and high school after everyone had already gone. and before i left and went home, i stopped at my favorite restaurant and got some chips and salsa to-go, because i always crave it when im up at school and ill never pass up an opportunity for it.
even though it was a small thing, i feel like i reclaimed a little bit of myself, because i had painted this picture of how beautiful this town was and how he would love every inch of it, but now ill never take him there. and im okay with that. its my town; he’ll never be able to taint it for me.
this place is such a shipwreck, but this shipwreck, it is mine