"dream about a recurring person"
hoy kalami magsulti ug bad words pero di na lang sa. I'm trying. I'm really trying to keep him at the back of my mind to keep the pain bearable and minimal. I was even thinking of different things last night. I tried.
so, this is what happened in my dream, I forgot the exact details but these are some of what I remembered... I had a message sent to him nya he left me on read, very similar to what's happening at the moment. Then, I heard he's like organizing an event here in Cagayan de Oro, I think he's the in charge of design and different things. I, then, started receiving messages from him na he's coming here. Very weird kay gasend siyag message kay sa ig nya ang fb messages (ata?) nako kay ginaseen ra daw niya.
He came here sa CDO. Like we literally saw each other personally, but I was trying to be cool about it. Gamay ra to nga days nga naa siya here tas I'm not sure but nagkita daw mi sa bulua gym? umay so weird. Tas ako dayn siya gihatod daw sa pier kay mouli na siyag cebu tas nagsakay daw mig jeep ato while gadala ug mga sud an nya katong ninaog na daw siya kay gipanghatag niya ang uban sud an sa driver.
diba bisag sa damgo, ginagawa niya pa rin akong kabit. makamahay kayo nga lake permi ay. lami na kay magpasurgery nya limtan tanan namo pinagsamahan duha kay ako ra may permi gareminisce nya gasuffer. he can't even answer the question of what am I to him. very annoying.
I promise ireveal nako tanan ni akong kadelulu kay fred once magkami (wow) genuinely talking ko dri. mura sad ug naay chance HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Lord, when ko kaya masabi sa iya nga love nako siya?
Lord, gimingaw na sad ko niya, pero siya di man gani katubag sakong pangutana niya if unsa ba jud ko para niya.
Lord, I miss him so much. I miss him all the time.
I don't want to lose him, but at the same time, I want to forget every good memory I associated with him.
sana di na lang kami nagkatagpo kung di naman totoo and genuine ang lahat ng yon para sa kanya. sana di ko na lang siya nakilala kung iba naman pala yung laman ng puso niya ever since the time we met. sana di na lang siya bumalik kung sasaktan niya lang ulit ako. siguro, at the very start pa lang since 2 years ago, he just treated me like one of those girls na reserve niya if ever di sila magwork ng nagustohan niya. now, he's trying to make me his takbohan if ever di sila magwork ng girl niya.
it's so painful, but You know, Lord, how I'm willing to ruin myself for him. You know I'm going to try to believe him even when he's lying. You know I'm going to keep coming back to him once he runs to me. Lord, pagod na pagod na akong mahalin siya. kapoy na kaayo masakitan utro. kapoy kaayo na he can run easily to me, while I can't run easily to him. it's always so unfair. inani jud diay mahigugma? bahalag unfair pero basta siya, okay ra. kapoy na sad kog ingon nga ako na lang unta iya pilion kay kapoy sad pamugos. sige oy, babye na lang.