With Lance being a soldier, Keith learned many things throughout his life.
The first thing he learned was how strong love was. Keith knew from the moment that he met Lance that nothing could stop him from loving this man. So even after Lance informed him of his dangerous occupation, Keith held his hand and said that he would stand by Lance no matter what. Sometimes things got hard and they fought, but Keith always stayed. He could never bring himself to let Lance go. His love for the man had corrupted his soul and dug deep into his heart. It was a part of him. Therefore, when Lance stuttered through a proposal and made a fool of himself, Keith cried as he said yes. Therefore, he spent every minute of the next month rush planning a wedding. Therefore, he spent the last night of their honeymoon holding Lance close, not sleeping for he wanted to spend every last second with Lance before he left. Keith fiddled with his ring as he hugged Lance goodbye at the airport. With the promise of emails and calls, tired eyes watched the love of his life fly away to fight someone else’s war.
The second thing he learned was how fear could physically make someone sick. Keith knew what anxiety felt like, but when he was alone, it grew so much worse. He no longer had Lance to hold his hand or smooth down his hair. He was no longer afraid of crowds, instead he was afraid of losing his husband. Keith never knew how cold his blood could turn when the phone rang, or did not ring during their scheduled times. He never knew how fast his heart could fall into his stomach when there was a knock on his door. He never knew how hard his breath could leave his body when he saw someone in a suit at the dance studio. Yet, Keith found ways to avoid as much of this anxiety as he could. He got a special phone for military purposes only. He hung a mirror on the wall that faced the door so he could see who knocked before he answered. Finally, he told his job to send anyone looking for him into his personal studio, which he didn’t leave until the dance studio closed. When things would get really bad, he would drape Lance’s old coat over his slim shoulders and worry himself to sleep on Shiro’s couch, or not sleep at all.
The third thing he learned was how much it hurt to have the one person you were closest to be so far away. Whenever anything would go wrong, all he wanted as Lance. All he wanted was to have someone hold him, petting his hair down and removing the tear streaks from his cheeks. Like when Red ran away for a week or when he landed wrong and almost broke his ankle. There were plenty of times where Keith would fold in on himself and just cry, not knowing what else to do, and times were Lance’s phone calls were just him reassuring Keith that everything was going to be okay for 30 minutes. And when things were great, all he wanted was Lance. All he wanted was to rush home to tell Lance the good news, to have him spin him around in a hug and kiss him senseless as they both cheered. Like, when Keith got a huge dance role in an upcoming musical, or when he got word that they would be able to adopt when Lance returned. But this noise had to be delivered over poor reception phone calls, sometimes days after it happened, making Lance one of the last ones to know. Yet, what hurt Keith the most was knowing that there was stuff about Lance he would never be able to know and that there was stuff that he would never be able to help Lance with. No matter how hard he tried or how much he fought against the odds, there was just things he couldn’t do. He couldn’t do anything when weeks would pass without word from Lance. All he could do was watch the news and pray that he wouldn’t see Lance’s picture or hear his squad number. It didn’t matter how much he fussed, he couldn’t have been there for Lance when he was wounded and in the hospital thousands of miles away. Therefore, he would find someway to help here.
The fourth thing Keith learned was how much of an impact he could make. Since he was stuck here and his job as a dance instructor didn’t offer much to the military forces, he found other ways to help. Along with Shiro, he would visit the veterans and wounded warriors in the hospitals nearby. He would sit with them and listen to their stories. He would make mental list of books or hobbies they enjoy so he could bring them some next time he visited. He would sit in the waiting room with distraught families and offer them any form of comfort that he could. He would encourage and cheer on those whose family’s couldn’t be there. Outside of the hospital, he would work with other military families to gather or make supplies to be put into care packages that would be sent to the troops. With his job, he offered classes with military discounts and out on shows to honor the troops and raise money for veterans or military families in need. He never thought much about what he was doing. It was just something to help get his mind away from the fear and to feel as if he was being useful in someway. Yet, he didn’t hear the way the hospital bound would cheer his name when he arrived. He didn’t see the smiles that the care packages spread across the bases. He could never fathom how many lives he helped with the raised money, or how many people used his dance classes as a form to express their pent up emotions. He didn’t know how far his name would travel or how many committed it to memory in order to thank him later on. To him, what he was doing was small deeds, but to others it was as if he was performing miracles and changing the world.
The fifth thing Keith learned was how powerful pure joy could be. He spent every night of Lance’s deployment dreaming of the day Lance would return. He felt his heart slowly break with each day that Lance did not inform him of his return date. When he would bring it up, Lance would sigh before whispering “They haven’t told me yet. It keeps getting moved around.” Twelve months into the fourteen month deployment, Keith got up as if it was just another normal day. Unknown to him, Shiro had gotten up five hours before him to go sit at the airport to retrieve a very special ‘package’ for him. Keith slipped on his white crop top, red legging, and black flats before heading to the studio. He had five classes and his own rehearsal to do today. Halfway through his pop dance class, the door opened and Shiro poked his head him. He waved to Keith, who nodded at him through the mirrors before going back to showing the class the routine. Keith raised his arms over his head, crossing them at the wrist, before dropping down into a squat. As he did so, smooth hands grazed over his sides up to his hands before spinning him as they pulled him up. Keith forgot how to breath as he meet ocean blue eyes. Tears started to form as the music faded from his consciousness, tan hands drifting to cradle his face.
“Hey, babe.” Lance whispered softly as Keith bit into his lower lip. Choking on a sob, Keith launched himself at Lance, slinging his arms around the taller man’s neck. Tears stained Lance’s military jacket as Keith cried and babbled about how Lance should of told him that he was coming home. Lance tightened his arms around Keith’s waist. “They cut our tour short and I thought it would be a nice surprise to just show up here. If you want to be mad, make sure you save some anger for Shiro too, because he helped.” Keith glared at Shiro from over Lance’s shoulder, only to see the smirking man holding his phone, recording the moment. After the class ended, Lance grabbed Keith’s hand and started to pull him out of the studio.
“Wait! I still have another class and then rehearsal.” Keith pulled them to a stop. Lance leaned over and kissed the top of Keith’s head.
“I already took care of all of that. You are excused from rehearsal and a co-worker is filling in for you. Right now, I just want to go home, lock the doors, and spend every second of the day with my husband.” Lance smiled as Keith blushed. Pulling himself onto his toes with Lance’s shoulders, Keith kissed Lance softly, pouring all of his love into the kiss. Lance tore Keith’s hair from the ponytail he had it in and buried his fingers in the long, black locks. Keith pulled away licking his lips. Locking his fingers behind Lance’s neck, he whispered into his ear.
Out of all of the things he learned, Keith taught Lance probably the most important lesson about military life. Keith laid on the bed, tracing his fingers along Lance’s bare skin, making made-up constellations out of fading love bites and scars that littered Lance’s torso. Lance hummed contently as he ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. He sighed heavily as he rolled over and pulled Keith into a hug. Keith dug his fingers into Lance’s shoulders as he kissed the side of his neck. He nuzzled the other man softly before pushing him back a little. Worry pulled on Keith’s brow as he took in Lance’s tired, red eyes and dark bags. He pushed his lips out into a pout as he traced the bruising on tan skin.
“I wish you would talk to me.” He whispered sadly. Lance looked up at him, confused.
“I do talk to you.” Keith shook his head at him.
“Not that. I mean about you not sleeping and whatever is bothering you. I notice things, Lance. Especially when they are about you.” He scooted forward to hid his face in Lance’s collar. “You’re here, but it feels as if you are still away. I get that there are things that I will never understand, but I can try. Let me help, please.” His voice broke as Lance pulled him closer. He felt Lance sigh.
“Nightmares. I have nightmares sometimes about what happened over there. I didn’t want to worry you. I know you already have a lot on your plate with your work and trying to get everything ready for the adoption, and I didn’t want to add to it.” Keith hit him slightly as he sniffled.
“You always come first idiot. There’s nothing you can do to make me hate you or be scared of you. While you were gone, I did a lot of work with the military families here and also with the wounded warriors. I’ve seen things and heard stories. I may not be an expert, but I can help you. And if I can’t, we can find someone who can.” Lance laughed slightly as he petted Keith’s head.
“I know how much work you did. People talk over there. I heard stories about what you were doing through others, and I even had some people come up to me to have me tell you thank you. One thing about the military is word travels fast. You were like a hero to them, Keith. And I felt that if I came home broken, it would make me less than you, cause you were doing so much good here and I could barely keep myself sane over there.” Keith stopped him with a soft kiss.
“You were doing things that I could never dream of. You put your life on the line for people you don’t even know. All I was doing was giving up a bit of my free time. I wasn’t even doing it for them. I needed to do something to keep my mind off of the fact that you could end up hurt or worse. My anxiety was driving me crazy. I had to do something that made me feel like I was important. I just happened to help people along the way.” Lance chuckled softly as he kissed Keith. Pulling him closer, Lance set his chin on Keith’s head.
“I guess we are a bit more broken than we thought we were.” Keith nodded as he entangled their fingers.
“That may be true, but at least we are together.” As Keith dozed off, Lance felt his heart start to beat again, this time without such a great pain. While he learned many things from his time as a soldier, he was taught by a sleepy husband that no matter what happened, he was never alone.