Lucifer 5x06 "Blueballz" reaction'd w/ spoilers
August 27th 2020
Pre ep. thoughts: This is the episode where Lucifer and Chloe finally sleep together, with the title like that how could it not be? The writers aren't even trying to hide it from us anymore.
That's a red herring. Oh what teases.
Finger locking foreplay? Yes.
He's holding up the crime tape for her...yeeees.
"Excuse us" not me, Us. ‼️‼️⚠️
Don't try to fool the lab tech. Ella sees all the evidence. They drove together. They're flirting at a crime scene. They are like high schoolers. Lopez knows.
"We have about 500 potential witnesses, that are all drunk and most likely very high." Lucifer has never looked so disappointed that so many people were on drugs.
Lucifer about DJ Karnal: "One DJ with a modicum of talent...but does everything have to be about sex" you waltzed right into that one...
Finally, we get to see an ex that's not Dan. Compared to Lucifers library of exes, It shouldn't be a problem. But it still seems to ruffle his feathers just as much.
"Cherry Jane?" Are you kidding me? That's too much temptation for Lucifer to ignore. That's like personal torment straight from God.
Jed: "are you still with Dave" Lucifer: "Dan!" You know we're in deep jealousy territory when Lucifer is defending Dan without a second thought.
Jed: "Are you in a relationship?" Ooooooooooooooooh noooooooooooooo! Lucifer's face does not like that.
You have no idea how close you are to death you are Jed. You've got a devil on your shoulder.
Lucifer: "The Detective had a child with you and I never felt the slightest bit threatened." Zing #1
Uggh, I hate those protesters. Sidenote: This episode feels very personal to me. Jed supporting a low income housing project which is awesome, and people are protesting for "the quality of their neighborhood." We have a similar development in my neighborhood except it's not low income housing. It's a project to turn a vacant hotel property into a mental health and rehab facility. Yet people in the neighborhood are affluent and are constantly protesting because they're worried about property value and the quality of their neighborhood and their schools. I'm so sick to death of it. I would do exactly what Chloe did. So much kudos to that woman. Great job on that bit writers!
Jed named the charity after Chloe. "He's trying to get close to you again. / No one would go that far just to be near me." 💜 "I did go to hell and back for you twice but who's counting?" Oh snap! 😈 Lucifer is tripping hard.
Chloe: "Are you jealous?" Lucifer: "Of that man child who scratches records for a living." Zing #2
At least Charlie doesn't have wings popping out everywhere.
Dan: "I have faith in you pal" Amenadiel: "Great cop, great dad, and your hair is so high" Dan and Amenadiel, bff's are too precious for words. #Dandielion
Lucifer's solution to a snake is poke it with a stick - how very Whovian.
"Chloe dumped you?" Oh man, you can just see Lucifer's nerosies are going into overdrive. There's practically smoke coming out of his ears.
"Lucifer's really experienced [in bed]" Oh man, Chloe's nerosies are going into overdrive.
"Oh, you're waiting on an STD check, smart." I still can't believe Amenadiel had an STD scare and a baby before Lucifer ever did.
Sweet, first the Dan twins now the Ella twins. Whatever happened to Dan and Ella? Put her back on the path to goodness.
"Did you steal my clothes?" Borrowed with no intent to give back.
Ever plan a raid: Let the return of lady's night commence!
Amenadiel: "Linda handed me the baby and left." Dan: "what did you do?" Dan is the perfect human.
"As long as the killer doesn't cry or wet themselves, I am in. I am gonna find the killer." Linda's zeal is out of this world, but don't burn yourself right out of the gate. Steady on.
Hohooo - Guys night in, incredible. It takes a village to raise a Charlie.
Although let's be clear, recycling these plots from seasons ago is going to get old real quick unless they get creative and mix things up.
Come on Lucifer, be like Trixie, make a funny face. It would be hilarious if Charlie was soothed be Lucifer's devil face.
I find it really interesting how Maze reads Ella. how she knows that Ella needs an improved sense of self worth. And that all it takes is to challenge her, throw down the gauntlet, and say "Step up your game Lopez!" Now I hope that Maze takes her own advice.
Did Chloe really just ask Linda about her sex history with Lucifer? I am turning purple.
"He's the oldest immature person in the world, nay, universe." Drunk Linda is still so stoic. Perfect foil to "the oldest young person Lucifer's ever met."
"You got played son." Dan's finest hour.
I CALLED IT. Straight out of every fanfiction ever written. Funny faces, right Trix? Faces that make babies laugh and grown men weep. I think we have an official new kind of Heavenly Bros tag team: Heavenly Bros versus the baby.
"Do it again Luci" my thoughts exactly Amenadiel. No wonder they've been saving up the devil face all season so far.
It's a little Sonic-the-hedgehog weird to see a devil face and human hands. I would have gone full effect on that shot.
So much body glitter. And dang, Linda crashed hard.
"You can't find a soulmate if you don't have a soul." 😭😭😭😭 But we were doing so well with her character development. Naughty writers, bad! Fix this now.
Oh Lord, the face and the dagger eyes Amenadude and Luci make when he thinks Dan or is going to wake up Charlie. And here I thought Lucifer's devil face was funny. DB Woodside's face is adorably 1,000 times better.
"You want my advice? Stop asking for advice."
NoNoooNoNoNooo, I want to Dan to find out about angels, but from Amenadiel. NOT LIKE THAT. Michael you ****HEAD! Oh this is going to mess with Dan's head. I hope Amenadiel can talk him down. Don't let this break up the BFFs #DanDielion and #Bracelet Bros. Please dear Dad! We just had Dan's finest hour, don't swing to the darkest hour.
Yep, set up the friendships just to knock them down. F---
"Incredible!" Isn't that what I said, like five or six points ago?
"Goodnight." 3...2...1... I think you're taking christening the new piano a little too literally Deckerstar. 😈💜🕵️♀️
I like how she says "oh God" when she can't unbutton his shirt, but he doesn't protest.
Yikes, I bet that's Dan calling trying to warn Chloe.
The writer's room are such teases. This whole season has been so heavily weighted with Deckerstar: will they, won't they, almost to the point where it got tedious. Almost. And now you're telling me that they got all the way to the penthouse bedroom, and we've seen all of Lucifer and Lucifer has seen all of Chloe, and WE don't get to see them...*Amenadiel-esque epiphany* oh, that's why you called the episode...
You cruel, manipulative b*******s!
So how are you going to explain the sleepover to Trixie? 😉
Grade: 9.5/10 DETECTIVES!
If you're here this season for the Deckerstar, there's a ton so far written specifically for you. Personally, while I love the good ship Deckerstar, I'm glad we finally made it to this destination so that it can evolve.