#danger pumpkin

[socialmasochist]

Rage Reading: Summer Knight by Jim Butcher, Part I

Danger Pumpkin: Guess what book I have in my hands right now? Horrible Spark: Oh no. Oh fuck no. DP: Yep, it’s here. It has gargoyles on the cover. HS: Wait, wait, I need to go upstairs and get my copy. I bet the gargoyles are sexy and want to have sex with Dresden. What’s the title of the book? I don’t want to look at every one of these. DP: Summer Knight. WITH A FUCKING “K.” … HS: I don’t think we have the same cover. DP: I’m looking at two gargoyles, one on either side of him, and the hands of a third like it’s taking the picture. Like a first person shooter game. HS: I have sexy statues. They’re on either side of a throne. One’s wearing leaves and the other is wearing frostbite. DP: So, are we reading a chapter a day? HS: FUCK NO! That would take way too long. Look at this thing, it’s got… 34 chapters. Two chapters a day, dude. DP: Worst month ever? A chapter and a half a day? HS: … DP: Okay, two chapters a day. HS: I have got to get some rest, it was too hot to sleep last night. Maybe I’ll just read my first two chapters then voluntarily slip into a coma. DP: Knock yourself out with it. It’s a BUTCHER’S BLOCK. HS: OH GAWWWD, BUTCHER’S BLOCK. You know, I have the PERFECT book to throw at you for that bad pun. It’s in my hands right now.

Later: DP: I locked my keys in my car again and I'm waiting for AAA. I guess the good news is there's a layer of metal and glass between me and that book.

[socialmasochist]

Rage Reading: Summer Knight by Jim Butcher, Part VII

Rage Reading has been on and off in fits and starts due to illness & generally being busy with life. But here we are, almost at the end.

Horrible Spark: We were right! Danger Pumpkin: Yes we were. The only nice person in the book HAD to be the bad guy. HS: Of course. I’m in the thick of The Fallacy of the Talking Villain (you can thank Roger Ebert for that saying.) DP: Ebert came up with that idea? HS: No, the saying. He has a whole glossary of them in the back of one of his books. DP: I love that you’ve read a book by a movie critic. HS: Hey, Ebert was an incredible writer. And now I know exactly what to call “The Fallacy of the Talking Villain.” DP: “I could just kill you but I’m going to explain it all, blah, blah, blah.” HS: Exactly. Oh, oh, worst joke ever? DP: “Stumps, get it?” Worse than that? HS: Yes! Did you notice the “Don’t make a joke about the WORD "never more”“ but he types it as two words? DP: And then the punchline is "never more.” HS: AS TWO WORDS EVEN THOUGH SHE SAID “WORD.” DP: “Stumps, get it?” Is the worst “joke” in the book. I’m still counting “hell’s bells” though “stars and stones” is taking its place. HS: I kind of like “stars and stones better.” DP: Except you KNOW it’s “hell’s bells” in disguise. Like, he finally got an editor and the editor said, “too many hell’s bells, find something else to say.” HS: So, are we almost done? DP: I’m almost to chapter 29. HS: I’m in the middle of chapter 27. So let’s finish this thing. And then possibly spontaneously combust. DP: That could certainly happen. Let’s just make sure we don’t finish reading it at the exact same time. HS: We can’t risk that kind of conjuring. DP: The evocation could be disastrous.

[socialmasochist]

Rage Reading: Summer Knight by Jim Butcher, Part V

Danger Pumpkin: So, I read chapter 11 and fell asleep. Horrible Spark: I read chapter 9 and fell asleep. It was a short chapter, thank goodness, since we’ve gone back into angsty Harry territory. DP: Oh wait, his name is Harry… HS: Yep. “Yer a wizard, Harry.” DP: I’m reading two books about wizards who solve mysteries… HS: And they’re both named Harry. DP: But Potter was first. HS: I think this is a job for Google! Okay, The Philosopher’s Stone was published in 1997 and… DP: Butcher writes like two books a year… HS: Is he really that busy? I guess so, Storm Front was published in 2000. So Potter was at least published first. DP: And Dresden was written for people who think they’re too cool to read Potter. HS: But they really, really aren’t. DP: Exactly. HS: Okay, well, I swear I am going to get through this book. DP: We probably shouldn’t plan which books to read too far in advance. HS: Right? We’ll never finish the first one because we’ll be anticipating what’s coming. DP: I just can’t believe I’ve agreed to read Twilight. HS: SNORT.