When I couldn't get answers; I realized it was because of fear. At first I thought it was because I'm overwhelming. It took me awhile to figure out it was because they were scared of something big. Corporate big.
My issues started and I thought it was related to other people doing Brazilian Blowouts in the salon. Trying to talk it out with coworkers made me realize really quickly that wasn't a great idea. Then I thought cartilage piercing/nose piercing/ear piercing. That went to what do we as a whole all do? Sleep. Pillowcases, eye masks, bonnets. By this time I'm seeing that my industry is divided by design. Separation is for controlling conversations.
Then I went to stereotypes I have been force fed. All of which could be self medicating without understanding the why.
I sent a former huge player in my industry emails. How many? Who knows. I made myself forget and keep trying different equations begging to be proven wrong.
After my brother died I saw things differently. I had less of a worry about how I looked versus how many people could be saved. TikTok was maybe 2. Mayyyybe. And I noticed one day Taylor Swift was new to TikTok. Low count engagement, low posts. Why does this strike a note? The Brazilian Blowout advertisements had her image all over them. That was a nod in their favor because I knew she wouldn't be the face of something that poisonous. Maybe I was micro poisoned, but one morning I sent that page a cry. I tattled like I have never tattled before. I wasn't a swiftie. I liked her vibe and her art. I loved that she loves Hanson. I knew she would be able to at least look into it legally and upon fact checking me; maybe see something that supported my words.
When I started this; I decided that I would send videos. Keep in chat, but delete the thread on my end. I trusted that one day someone would send an intern through their DMs who would be thorough enough to see it and be curious enough to investigate. I set her up to have to look into something because of the company using her image to make money and sway an opinion.
Again Forgotten and out to the invisible waves. A new hair color line is whispered. That former Godzilla in my industry and his bad ass, & oddly familiar wife were coming back. They wouldn't come back unless they knew something. It wasn't for the money and it certainly wouldn't be easy, so the why & the 2 humans had me excited. We randomly get PR. It's a record box set type size. The color boxes have art by actual concert poster artists. Heavily influenced by music. It's both of my worlds together for the first time. It reminded me of my first hair show. I was newly diagnosed ADHD. Still in hair school. I remember telling someone about how it was strange how separate our industries are when our business practices are very similar. These things happen to me. If there are rules or things you don't want someone to pick up on; I will. It just happens. I don't understand it. Boundaries? Pffft. I actually try to control myself? Word vomit city baby. Connect tho? I gotcha like a finger trap. I'll be terrified, but I'll listen to the pull and pay attention.
I meet this man that year and ask him if he knows Andrew McMahon. I feel my face and ears turning boiling red as I feel his entire vibration hault. He tells me he doesn't know him which makes me more flustered and I blabbered.
I get the opportunity to go to LA with my best friend and support my first connection within this company. I adore Allison with my entire soul. I trust her and believe in her so much I made Alisha leave her kid and partner at home and be her model and drive. In LA. 🤣 I meet Her. We're walking up the stairs and I gasped and said "it's her. Eep!" I saw her have an emotional happy moment in Orlando, recover by walking and "straightening up" merch (really holding in the emotions), then back to take a photo of her ripple. At that moment I knew this woman was probably the most understanding of my mind because hers was of the same fibers. I walked up to her blabbing and apologies and a hug. At the end of the day I connect the dots verbally in front of Her. "Is 13 a number for you right now?" We can only imagine how that went. Again, never had 13. It's always been 11s.
I cut fingers out of these lace gloves for my bestie. The photographer complimented them and everyone else didn't see the vision. THE NEXT FEW WEEKS THE TORTURED POETS VIDEO CAME OUT!
Still not wanting to see this because I'm on another branch because I sent Andrew McMahon DMs asking him what to do in LA. And telling him why we were there. And saying I wish I could recommend a purple shampoo that wouldn't give him cancer again because his hair looked like a UTI and he needed it bad. Maybe Danger would release one. Cried. Enjoyed legalization and the Willy Wonka of asking questions of California. Forgot alllllll about it.
