I HAVE KILLED A LOT OF PLANTS
I had not intended to do another in my occasional series on plants, but my very long time friend Judy made a comment that cannot be answered in a single sentence. It is going to take a few sentences and will be embarrassing for me.
Many, many plants have died in my care, so Judy, I may not be your best choice for saving trouble ones (although I’m sure that you requested that in jest). I was talking with my son, Brad, the other evening and he said that I had a green thumb. “My thumb is green in the middle and brown around the edges just like most of my plants.” Funny, but really true.
As a general rule for shrubs, I have about a 75% success rate. If I plant four things, one of them will die. In total, my success rate is probably less than 50% as I have had some spectacular failures. In the area in front of our deck we have planted no less than six different types of plants only to have them die. The christmas berry that are there now, although murdered by last year’s winter, are still hanging on and I am optimistic that they will continue to do so. I planted 13 Spring Bouquet vibernum (for a crap load of money) to create a tunnel. It took about 6 months for all of them to die. Maybe 12 or 14 would have been a more lucky, but 13 was the perfect number for that area. Monrovia said that they would replace them, but never did. I refrain from purchasing their plants now.
I cannot grow rosemary, azaleas, or gardenias. Being a glutton for punishment and feeling that no arboretum would be complete without them I have some poor looking azaleas and worse looking gardenias struggling along right now. A break in the heat may give them what they need. Aside from those and some dead looking abelias the rest of the property looks satisfactory. My success rate with trees is much higher and that has buoyed my spirits in the last week or so. I few trees that I thought were near death have started pushing out new leaves.
When Dan Gill checks his email in the evening he’s probably thinking, “what, him again, he needs to give it up.” I’ve worn out his inbox over the last couple of years, but he has tolerated me and I have learned so much from him.
So what do I look at when planting? I see something that I don’t have and it’s “Oh, I have to have one of those.” If Lucia is at home, she gets a call and I’m hyperventilating on the other end of the phone... “Look up this plant for me.”What’s the zone? After last winter, my cut off point is zero degrees. If a plant can’t take that I don’t want it. No more citrus. Sun or shade? I’m pretty much out of places for full or part shade or speckled sun right now, but could find a spot if I absolutely had to have something that required it. There are areas for full or part sun available, but many of those areas will find themselves in the shade in a few years. I think that this was a problem with plants by the deck. Trees were maturing and full sun became mostly shade. Soil condition? If a plant needs sandy soil it would be s.o.l in my yard. If a plant likes wet feet I’m a lot happier with it. My clay soil tends to hold water for a while, which brings me to one of the most important things I’ve learned... drainage. A plant requires well drained soil, what the heck does that mean? Dig a hole that will fit a 5 gallon bucket where you want to plant. Pour 5 gallons of water in the hole and watch how long it takes to drain. I’ve found that if it drains in an hour it is really well drained. Some sources will say that 24 hours is too long, but I find it tolerable for things that require well drained soil. I have areas of my yard that hold water for a while when it rains a lot and areas where the 5 gallon hole takes 4 days to drain. Find a plant that likes wet feet and put it there.
Short of the cold killing off some plants, I’ve probably done quite a few plants in by giving them the wrong sunlight and quite a few more with the wrong soil conditions. Over-watering, under-watering, and improper fertilization have killed a few. I’ll worry about that topic another time, but for god’s sake nothing planted in the yard needs watering every day. Once a week, twice tops is plenty good.
Today was the annual LSU Hilltop Fall Plant Sale. Lucia and I purchased 24 plants. Some of them are additions to similar plants that we already have and some of them are new. After we got home, we spent time figuring out the best place for each of the new plants so as to give them the best chance for survival.
I’ll end this with paraphrasing one of my favorite lines in a movie... I’m sorry for all of the many plants that I have killed, and for those I am about to.