Rayshawn Ellis He wants you to, you know, honor him. You know, you can become the jester, and he may think about dropping some crumbs off his table.
Sarah Koenig But at the hearing for shock release, he figured they were past the stage of flattery and theatrics. So he was taken aback when Judge Gaul started in on the details of his case. Rayshawn said he kept trying to talk to him man to man.
Rayshawn Ellis I respect you as the individual in the position that you are holding, but, you know, I'm being accused of something, and I need you to be a professional and look at the facts to find out what the evidence is. He just automatically already knew, like, it doesn't matter if you're innocent. I want you guilty. I kept trying to tell him, like, there's something, there's more to this story, and I don't know what you want me to tell you, but that's the honest to God truth.
Sarah Koenig Rayshawn didn't feel as if Judge Gaul were leading him down the road toward responsibility and redemption. He felt as if Judge Gaul simply wanted submission for its own sake. Rayshawn said Judge Gaul, quote, "struck me as nothing less than a raging slave master."
Rayshawn Ellis And I just had to let him know in such a nice way without really hurting his feelings too much, like, I ain't that guy. I ain't no slave. I'm not scared of you. And you know, and I was—you know, a lot of times I kept telling him, I don't agree with you. I don't agree with what you're saying. He just didn't like that. So he wanted it his way or no way, and it was just, like, that it's not your way or no—no way.
Sarah Koenig But it is Judge Gaul's way or no way. That's the maddening corkscrew of Rayshawn's position. Judge Gaul shouldn't require him to grovel. Rayshawn's right about that. But there's nothing Rayshawn can do about it, because Rayshawn is the one who broke the law. Everything Judge Gaul's doing is legal.