A starving artist who’s given everything to stay afloat. A bartender with too much heart and nowhere to put it. Amassing debts he can’t repay, making unlikely alliances and unnecessary enemies, he’s got nothing left to give. Infatuated at first glance, she wiggles her way into his world despite him exhausting himself trying to keep her out.
Letting her in was the same as opening Pandora’s box—what are they to do when they know they should give up, but neither one is ready to give in?
What do you say girls? How bout we run it back? 😉
Pairing: AU!Jake Kiszka x f!reader
Word Count: TBD
Warnings: SMUT 18+, angst, swearing, smoking, drinking, mild drug use, violence—each chapter will have its own list of warnings.
DISCLAIMER: I do not know Greta Van Fleet or any of the members personally. This is all fiction and I will never claim otherwise. I attempt to keep all of my work 100% original, so please do not steal or take credit for my writing. As of right now, I aim to get chapters out on weekends, but it is not guaranteed as I do have a full time job and other responsibilities to attend to. Please be patient and kind to me. Do not mind any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes, as I am the sole writer/editor for my blog and do miss things sometimes.
Prologue
Chapter 1
TAGLIST: if you would like to be added to the Pandora’s Box taglist, please feel free to send me an ask, pm me, or respond on this or one of the above chapters. if i do not respond, it is because the replies on my posts will only allow me to reply with my main account. i promise i will see it, and if i happen to miss you, don’t be scared to ask again!
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: I am incredibly grateful for all of the support, likes, reblogs and kind comments I receive from all of you. I would be nothing without your support, and I do take the time to read and appreciate every reply and message, even if I don’t respond. Thank you so much for all you do, and I sincerely hope that you enjoy this story as much as I do 🫶🏻
You belong to someone else. Thats the first thing Jake Kiszka knows about you, and the second thing he knows is that it isn't going to matter. Structured after the fourteen tracks of Derek and the Dominos' Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs, this is a story about yearning. About the distance between almost and actually, a friendship tested beyond repair, about two people who kept looking away and back again.
It costs them both everything too get here. But was it worth it?
Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Female Reader
Word Count: TBD
Warnings: SMUT 18+, angst, yearning, swearing, smoking, drinking, mild drug use. More warnings will be posted for each individual chapter.
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Listen to the Album Here: Apple Music | Spotify
Track Listing:
I Looked Away
Bell Bottom Blues
Keep on Growing
Nobody Knows When You're Down and Out
I Am Yours
Anyday
Key to the Highway
Tell the Truth
Why Does Love Got to Be So Sad?
Have You Ever Loved a Woman?
Little Wing
It's Too Late
Layla
Thorn Tree In the Garden
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Taglist: If you are interested in joining the Layla taglist, please click on this link.
Hand in hand, giggling down the strip, tripping and stumbling, you’d never felt more elated. Well, with Josh you always did. He was a ball of sunshine in every sense of the word and life of the party, but your favorite part was after the party. Both of your tipsy or way more than tipsy selves would stumble back to the hotel while giggling, shit eating grins on your faces, knowing how the night would end. It was usually sloppy, uncoordinated, and fun. But that’s how you liked it after a good night out. You just wanted him to touch you, to kiss you, to nibble on your skin, to drunkenly stumble out of his boxers and almost hit his head on the nightstand. He’d laugh it off, crawling up onto the bed with the pillowy duvet that felt so soft like clouds, hands groping you shamelessly while he would grind himself against your thigh. Half the time you’d almost choke on his tongue, tasting like his favorite cocktail: salty dogs, and either fireball or straight tequila shots.
Tonight would be no different, but, Josh was a little more drunk than usual. Not that you didn’t participate, of course you did. Throwing back a couple shots, sipping on fruity cocktails while he ran up when it was his turn for karaoke. He usually drunkenly sang ‘Uptown Girl’ by Billy Joel or ‘Brandy’ when he was extra drunk. Tonight, he chose ‘Super Trooper’ by ABBA. An odd one, but of course everyone loved it, cheering him on and singing along while laughing as he forgot words or didn’t start quick enough.
You met him offstage, immediately linking elbows with him. “You’re getting sloppy, babe.” you joke, and he presses a slobbery kiss to your cheek akin to a dog licking you. You’re too lazy to wipe it off, pecking his cheek in return.
“I’m havin’ fun!” Josh rolls his eyes with absolutely no annoyance or bitter tone, his big brown eyes practically sparkling.
“I know, I know, you love to party hardy.” you unlink elbows and snake your hand around his waist, patting his hip. He snorts, but leans into your touch.
“Ready to go?” you ask him, whispering in his ear before taking his gold hoop between your teeth to tug at it, trying to make your intent known.
“Mmm…” he hums, pretending to think on it while his eyes dart to the ceiling. His eyes drop back to you, a Cheshire grin forming on his lips. “Maybe one more shot.” His fingers drum over your side.
“We are not doing one more shot, one more shot my ass.” you laugh and manage to drag him out of the bar, his sweaty hand laced with yours, clasping it in a tight grip while he stumbles back through the damp city streets. It was misty, and perfect for a walk back. You were eternally grateful it wasn’t too cold.
Grabbing the key and pushing it up to the entrance door, you fumbled until you heard a beep and shoved you and Josh in as quickly as possibly, quickly opting for the elevator.
He shamelessly groped your ass in the elevator, eyes darting to yours before looking at the floor numbers rise on the tiny screen above the elevator buttons. His foot tapped impatiently, cheeks flushed in the overly fluorescent white light.
Josh immediately grabbed you and grinned when the elevator dinged at your floor, pulling the keycard out of his pocket. He ended up bumping his hip on the wall a few times at his very poor attempt at walking in a straight line.
You didn’t exactly know how but you had ended up inside the hotel room and had even managed to lock the door. Josh pawed at you, groping every inch of skin he could while simultaneously trying to pull off your shirt. It was sloppy and uncoordinated but you couldn’t help but love it, he was so gone for you, so unbelievably needy that he didn’t know what he wanted first. So, you pushed him off you slightly and pulled off your shirt, leaving your bare chest on display for him. He grabbed at your hips, then your sides, then your chest, his mouth reaching over to lick and suck at your neck and collarbones.
His mouth reached up to yours and your teeth clashed, both of you letting out the stupidest giggles into each other’s mouths. “Kiss much?” you tease with a peck to his lip.
“Mmm…” he pecks your lips back, and you can feel his mustache brush against your top lip, making you shudder. “Sometimes.” he grins into his next kiss, hand splayed against the small of your back while he tried his best not to wobble.
You both break apart and manage to stumble into the beautiful king sized hotel bed, laying back on the duvet that felt so soft against the bare skin of your back. You reach your hands up after he pulls his shirt off and immediately go to grab his pecs. “Damn, baby.” you giggle with a grin. “You’ve got some titties.”
“Shut the fuck up!” he laughs, trying to seat your hands away but it’s not out of malice. He sloppily kisses your neck, goosebumps forming over your skin as his saliva cools.
“C’mon.” you flip him over and straddle his stomach, clumsily inching yourself down to his thighs. But, there’s something odd, he isn’t hard.
“Josh..” you frown, slightly confused. You look back down at his crotch which doesn’t have the usual bulge. “Do you not want anything tonight?”
“No!” he immediately defends himself. “I do, I do.” he rapidly shakes his head, hands going to your sides to rub them.
“But you’re not… hard.” you try your best to say without being too brash.
“Maybe just- maybe just play with it a little, get the blood pumping?” he suggests with a tilt of his head, tan cheeks flushed a strawberry pink.
You nod your head, immediately undoing those horrid khakis you hate that he wears out constantly, that and his stupid white sweatshirt that you’ve tried to hide in the back of the closet. Pulling them off with his boxers, you immediately skip just touching him and opt to go a different route, wrapping your mouth around him. The size difference is comparable, and you can easily get most of his length in your mouth. He jolts, shocked. “Jesus fuck, babe!” he can’t help but laugh out, his breath sucked out of his flushed and sweaty chest.
Your other hand goes to play with his balls, you push your head down and take all of him but not even a twitch, he wasn’t even close to half hard. His dick was still limp in your mouth, a very odd feeling.
After a few minutes of this, you pull him out of your mouth with a slightly disappointed look on your face. “I’m sorry, it’s- it’s not happening. I’m hard in my mind but my dick won’t compute.”
You chuckle at his words, getting ready to just cuddle with him and fall asleep but as you grab your shirt he stops you with a sharp: “No!”
“No?” you tilt your head at him, eyebrow raised.
“Just cause I can’t get it up doesn’t mean I don’t wanna fuck you.” Josh tries to drunkenly explain.
“You can’t fuck me, Josh.” you remind him with a roll of your eyes. Was he just trying to tease you and failing?
“I have fingers.” he wiggles them with a stupid grin. “And my tongue-“
Before he can demonstrate you cover his mouth with your hand, yelping when he bites them. “Okay, okay, I get it.” you shake your head.
“Hop up, pretty.” he pats his cheeks with that stupid kiszka wink. “C’mon.”
“Joshua-“ you protest.
“Nope! Don’t full name me, hop up.” he shakes his head, reaching for your hips.
“But-“
“Up!” he tugs at your hips, pulling you where his shoulders meet his collarbones.
“Mkay.” you can’t help but roll your eyes at him, chuckling at his need to please. If josh was anything, he was a stubborn piece of shit. When he was adamant, there would be no changing his mind.
You quickly lift your hips and pull your underwear down, sliding off of him to kick them off before sitting back onto his chest. “I love dessert.” he giggles before grabbing your hips and immediately shoving you down onto his face.
“Joshua!” you yelp, but before you can get a snide comment in his tongue immediately laps at you.
“Fuck!” your fingers reach up to grip the headboard, he shakes his head so his nose repeatedly brushes against your clit, giving you the best jolts of stimulation.
The sound is downright secular, sinful in nature. But, it felt oh so delicious, way better than anything that money could buy. He lifts your hips up for a moment. “Fuck, baby,” he looks up with glossy eyes. You can’t tell if it’s due to lust or the many drinks he’s had, probably both. “God, you’re so yummy.”
“Yummy?” you snort at his choice of words.
“Yummy, delicious, delectable, tasty, mouthwatering, succulent, exquisite, heavenly, divine-“ he rambles on, listening every possible synonym he knows.
“I get it!” you giggle, stretching your back. Your neck looks back and you can see his dick twitch, looking a little bit harder than before.
“Hold on.” you tell him, flipping yourself around so that you were facing his crotch.
“Is this a better angle for you? You should’ve told me-“ he whines out, and you can almost see his pout.
Your hands splay at his stomach, and you trace your fingers down to his pubic bone. Another twitch. Your eyes light up.
You arch your back, pressing a sloppy kiss to his pubic bone and his hips immediately jolt, a bigger twitch. You lick your lips, lulling your tongue out. The tip of your tongue touches just below his belly button, the start of his happy trail. And you sloppily lap down his happy trail like a thirsty dog. You can hear him groan, sending beautiful vibrations straight to your clit. You moan in response, pressing sloppy kisses to his pubic bone, his happy trail and trimmed pubes glistening with saliva.
In return, Josh happily shoves his tongue inside of you, curling it perfectly to make you squirm and shake in delight. You grabbed his mostly soft dick and pressed kisses to the tip of him, giving him little kitten licks. This just makes him curl his tongue with greater enthusiasm.
“Mhmmmm.” he groans into your pussy, pulling his tongue out of you to suck onto your clit. His tongue flicks at it at a sloppy rhythm, and you’re lucky you’re so horny because regularly this would not be enough to make you cum. But, right now, it feels downright euphoric.
You take him into your mouth, slowly sucking on his tip before moving down an inch, then another. His flicks to your clit become even more sloppy, and he knows that, so, he just suckles the best he can. You groan onto him, his hips buck, sending another inch into your mouth. Thankfully, you don’t choke. Your thumbs rub circles into his hips, fingers scratching the skin above his ass to let him know you were there. But, josh is still mostly soft, and you’re not sure if he’d even be able to cum tonight. Still, you enjoy the closeness of him in your mouth, it feels like you’re intertwined, souls meshing for at least just a moment.
Josh grips your hips tighter, rocking you against his mouth to give you as much stimulation as he can, and you shamelessly rock your hips against his tongue.
“C’mon, baby.” you can hear him mumble from underneath you. His fingers side down and squeeze both of your asscheeks, pulling them apart slightly to have better access between your folds.
After a good minute, you can feel your muscles tighten and your thighs shake. Josh immediately locks his hands on your hips to prevent you from pulling away. You can’t help but shut your eyes, feeling the height of the orgasm crash over you like heavy waves. Your toes curl and you shake, Josh continuing to swirl his tongue.
And then… you relax, pulling him out of your mouth as the serotonin rushes to your brain. You wipe your mouth with the back of your palm and he finally stops. Flopping over, you giggle and look at him with dreamy eyes, still seeing stars.
“Still got it,” he says proudly with a wink.
You scoff, rolling your eyes. “Please, you could barely get close to being half hard.”
He gasps dramatically, hand on his chest. “I’m wounded, truly wounded. I thought you loved me, it’s supposed to be in sickness and in health, you know?”
“I don’t think whiskey dick counts as in sickness, probably in drunkenness. And we aren’t even married so you can’t pull that.” you tease, poking his cheek.
He laughs and pecks your lips. He stretches out, sighing before getting himself up. “‘M gonna brush my teeth. All I can taste is pussy.”
You grab a decorative pillow and throw it at him, hitting him in the back. He yelps playfully and grabs his toothbrush.
AN: This is a comfort fic! Danny is not the cheater! This fic changed a lot from when I started writing it to when it ended, so I hope you enjoy wherever my mind went while I wrote this…
Content Warnings: Hurt/comfort heartbreak, crying, cheating, insecurity, nudity, deprecating thoughts, intense sadness, self-isolation, boner, mentions of sexual situations, lots of skin touching including breasts (but in a non-sexual way), love confessions, mentions of sex, considerate Danny.
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“You alright?” Danny asked, pausing the movement of his fingers and ripping his intense attention from the melodic chords he had been working on, letting his acoustic guitar falter in his hands.
You looked up from your phone, “What? Oh, yeah, fine.”
You weren’t really fine. It was your boyfriend, Otis’s birthday, and you hadn’t been able to get a hold of him all day. You swiped through your text chain, seeing that your message at 7am wishing him a happy birthday was followed by an embarrassing amount of messages almost once an hour asking what he was doing, how he was doing, and if he was okay.
You had grown unbelievably restless, your anxiety bordering between genuine concern for his well being, and fear that he was shutting you out for some reason.
Though, this wasn’t completely unusual for Otis. He had always been distant, emotionally elusive in a way that left you second guessing your every move. Sometimes, he would go an entire day without a word, shutting down for reasons you could never quite figure out. You attributed it to the way he must’ve been raised, but often, and without warning, he would go into a mood. You had tried to understand, tried to make excuses for it. Maybe he just needed space. Maybe you were overreacting.
It was terribly confusing, but you’d grown used to it, trying your hardest to take note of anything that may be a consistent trigger in his moods.
Danny, who was by far your closest friend, did not approve of his behaviour at all. In fact, he didn’t approve of Otis full stop. You had grown up together, graduated together, and were now splitting the rent of some small, shitty apartment in Nashville together, and it was hard for you to conceal the faults in your relationship when Danny seemed to always be there.
“You sure? You’ve been staring at that phone all afternoon,” he argued pointedly.
You huffed and ran a hand down the side of your face, “It’s just Otis…it’s his birthday but he hasn’t texted me back all day.” You paused, and Danny set his guitar down, its neck leaning against the arm of the couch you were both seated on. “I’m getting kinda worried,” you added.
Danny’s jaw tightened at the mention of Otis, a familiar tension brewing in his stance. You knew what he thought of your boyfriend, he had never been shy about it. As your best friend since childhood, Danny had always been protective of you, and he couldn’t stand how Otis treated you. To Danny, Otis was an undeserving ghost, always there, but never really present.
But it wasn’t as if Otis treated you poorly. No, you wouldn’t be dating him if he was. He just was a bit flaky sometimes- physically and emotionally.
Danny’s brows furrowed, “That is weird. Maybe he’s just busy with friends or something?” he suggested.
You shook your head, “No, he told me he was celebrating with them on the weekend. Told me he would see me today too,” you said anxiously, biting at the corners of your nails.
“Stop that,” Danny warned, pulling your hands away from your mouth.
It was a habit you seemed to have only picked up only recently, and Danny was always quick to stop it as soon as he saw you begin to nibble at the uneven edges of the nail.
“You’re right, ‘s a bit worrying. I would be pretty worried as well. Did he go out last night?” Danny asked.
“No.” You were beginning to feel more and more nervous, anxiety flooding through your body as you wondered what was going on.
You suddenly stood, “I think I’m gonna go over to his place. Maybe he’s just been sleeping all day.”
Danny glanced at his watch and grimaced when he saw that it was 5pm. He refrained from telling you he highly doubted it, not wanting to worry you any further.
“Shit,” you cursed as you looked out the window and saw that it was absolutely pouring with rain. You hurried to your bedroom to find a raincoat.
“Let me drive you,” Danny suggested, his voice now coming from his own room as he grabbed himself a sweater. You both emerged from your rooms and met in the hallway, and before you could protest he added, “Please. I don’t feel good knowing you’re driving in this weather.”
You scoffed, “Underestimating my driving skills, Wagner?” You carried the gifts you had bought Otis, including the bouquet of flowers into the living room with you and placed them on the table next to your handbag.
“Maybe,” Danny teased and you rolled your eyes at him playfully.
It took less than five minutes to gather your things. The bouquet of flowers, a few small wrapped gifts, and your handbag. Once you had hastily gotten your things in order, Danny grabbed his car keys off the table and opened the front door for you.
“Need me to hold anything?” he asked, watching in amusement as you fumbled with the flowers, presents, your bag and your phone.
You laughed, “Yes please.”
He took the flowers and a few gifts from your arms and you both descended the long, winding stairs wordlessly until you were in the shared car park.
“I’m sure it’s all fine,” Danny assured he held the door open for you to get into the car.
“Yeah me too. Just really wanna see him, you know?” You immediately regretted saying it once the words left your mouth.
You usually tried to keep the Otis conversation minimal with Danny, knowing that he didn’t really like him. Danny hummed anyway, despite his disagreement, and started the car before reversing out of the garage. He handed you your favourite Beatles CD for you to put into the stereo while he drove, and you felt overwhelmingly appreciative of his attentiveness.
You wanted to believe that nothing was wrong, and that Otis just hadn't had a chance to look at his phone yet. But with each mile closer to Otis’s apartment, the pit in your stomach grew heavier, and the knot in your chest tighter. Each time you checked your phone, there was no new message. No missed calls. Nothing.
Throughout the drive, it was clear to you that Danny was trying his hardest to keep you from overthinking. You felt like he didn’t stop talking for the majority of the ride, telling you about the latest disagreement between Josh and Jake and how he, like usual, had to save the day with his mediation skills. He managed to make you laugh too, always knowing just what you needed when you weren’t feeling your absolute best.
You had to direct Danny the way there, which was quite difficult thanks to the bucketing rain that restricted visibility of anything twenty metres in front of you.
Eventually you made it to his apartment, and Danny pulled over on the side of the road to drop you off, seeing as there was no carpark for him to stop in.
“Alright, be safe please. Text if you need anything,” Danny recited, the words he told you each time you parted. It had been that way since you could remember.
“I will! Thanks for the lift!”
Balancing your things in your arms, you quickly jumped out of the car to not hold up and more traffic.
Danny drove off when one of the impatient cars behind him gave him a beep for taking so long. You rushed up to Otis’s apartment building front door, bullets of rain almost soaking you completely as you covered the short distance.
Your shoes splashed heavily on the street which had become one big puddle. You sighed when you finally reached the building, protected from the rain by the large overhang that wrapped around the large building.
As you made your way into the apartment and climbed the levels to his, you glanced at your phone once more to check if he had messaged you, and frowned when there was nothing. A little puffed, you finally reached his unit. Before you knocked, you peeked a glance at the crack at the bottom of the door where a light was beaming through. So he was home.
You bit back a shiver as you raised your hand and pressed the doorbell. You always liked the tune Otis’s doorbell made. It was quite unconventional, not the normal tune they made and not a jarring ring either, but a nice melody all the same.
You hugged yourself tightly in the cold as you awaited a response, and when you didn’t get one, you rang the doorbell again. Finally, the front door swung open, and you were met with Otis, his slim figure on full display as only a pair of white and blue striped boxers hung low on his hips.
You smiled brightly, despite his state of undress and the fact that he had neglected speaking to you all day. “Happy birthday!” you exclaimed.
He shot you a quick, tight smile, before his face turned serious, eyes scanning the scene behind you. “Thank you Baby, but uh… what are you doing here?” he asked.
You faltered, “What do you mean?”
He looked at you as if you had done something ridiculous, “Well we didn’t plan anything. I hadn’t exactly said you could come over.”
You took a step back into the hallway, “Oh, I just thought that…”
You were mortified. But you were also incredibly upset. It was his birthday, but you had still felt some kind of obligation that he at least see you on the special day. He was your boyfriend after all.
“I got worried. You weren’t responding,” you explained, feeling a deep set frown fall to your face.
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, and you suddenly became very aware of his positioning. He was standing in the doorway, hands on either side of the frame and letting the door hang almost closed behind him while he stepped marginally closer in each moment and effectively backed you further away from the entrance.
“Yeah well, I just got caught up in something.”
Just as you were about to ask what, a slender hand, adorning deep red acrylic nails raked across his bare abdomen.
“Baby, what’s taking you so long?” a sultry voice asked, and you could see longer dark hair peeking behind his body.
Unable to believe your eyes, your mouth parted in silent shock, face dropping in realisation, and you peered over his shoulder to see the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, clad in only her underwear behind him.
Blinking, you watched as his face morphed into course red embarrassment, and his eyes widened in fear.
“Oh,” you stated.
“No Baby, it’s not what it-” he started, moving towards you to take your arm.
“Stop it. Don’t,” you shook his hands off you, “Don’t touch me.”
Tears instantly welled in your eyes and the lump in your throat felt like it was going to choke you.
“Wha- why?” you managed to choke out. He looked at you sympathetically, but before he could open his mouth, the woman behind him appeared at his side.
If you thought her face was gorgeous, her body was bound to make you pass out. Her breasts were full and round, and her slim, toned waist was a beautiful compliment. Her hips widened at just the right spot, and were void of dips or stretch marks, and it suddenly became glaringly obvious to you where everything had gone wrong.
She gave you a harsh look up and down, assessing your clothing and you could only assume your body. Your arms crossed over your front in insecurely, now regretting the old coat, faded jeans and casual shoes you had thrown on in your state of worry and anticipation.
You hiccuped a sob back when she placed a hand on his chest and leaned up to whisper something in his ear. Otis, to his credit, looked wildly uncomfortable by her actions and tried to shrug her off, looking at you pleadingly.
You couldn’t see any more. You couldn’t stand there for another second longer or you were going to explode.
You wished you were more angry. You should have been furious, yelling at him and ripping your keys out to key his car. But instead, you felt a deep pit of sadness in your belly. The type of pit that drags everything down with it. The type of pit that consumes all it can from its host just to continue its relentless torment.
You needed to get the fuck out of there.
Breathing turned shakey, you turned and walked so quickly down the hallway that you thought you were going to pull a hamstring.
Otis called your name from behind you, and you thanked the Gods that he was too naked to follow you. You descended the stairs in a daze, hot tears running down your cheeks, but you were too focused on getting out that you knew you needed to hold them back.
Once you made it to the building's exit, you realised that you were still cradling the birthday presents you had bought him. In an act of anger, you stormed out of the complex and threw them in a heap onto the grass beside the door, letting all the money you had wasted on him get destroyed under the unforgiving downpour of rain.
Then you realised you were also in the rain. And you were getting soaked. You quickly pulled your phone out and pulled up Danny’s contact to call him.
Restricted sobs began to shake your body, and you were having an incredibly hard time maintaining your composure, if you could even call it that anymore.
The phone only rang twice before Danny’s voice spoke through the speakers.
“Hey, what’s up,” he answered casually. You could hear his car keys hitting the little key bowl you had by the front door, indicating he had quite literally just gotten home, making you feel even worse about asking him to come and pick you up.
He called your name in question when you didn’t respond.
“Did you- did you just get home?” you asked, trying feebly to conceal the emotion in your voice, but the sobs and sharp inhales did close to nothing in helping.
“Fuck, are you okay? What’s happened? What’s wrong?” he asked frantically, and you could hear the keys jingle again, accompanied by the front door slamming shut.
“I’m,” you tried to say through broken sobs, “I’m okay. I just need- can you come and pick me up? Ple- please?”
“I’m already on my way.” True to his word, you could hear the engine vibrating in the background of the call. “Please tell me what happened. Are you safe?” he asked frantically.
You nodded, before realising that he couldn’t actually see you, “I’m- I’m okay. Just cold,” you began scanning the area, looking for a spot you could stand that was concealed from the rain.
There was no way you were going back inside the complex building, and you quickly realised that your best bet was a tree nearby. You hastily made your way over, sneakers getting ruined in the dirt, each step accompanied by a squelch. The rain wasn’t as relentless under the cover in the tree, but thick drops still fell and coated your skin, hair and clothes. You were shivering violently now, wondering why on earth you hadn’t brought an umbrella.
"Where are you?" Danny's voice was soft but laced with concern.
"Same place you dropped me off," you muttered, feeling the hot flush of embarrassment rise to your cheeks. It wasn't hard to guess that Danny probably knew something had gone wrong with Otis. But you could bet he'd never imagine the full extent of it.
There was a pause on the other end of the line, and you could sense Danny was biting his tongue, holding back from asking the questions swirling in his mind. He knew better than to press you when you were like this, though. Whatever had happened, it wasn't good. That much was obvious.
"Okay, honey, I’m nearly there. Can you try taking some deep breaths while you wait for me, please?" His voice was steady, trying to ground you through the phone. It was only then that you became aware of the sound of your own ragged, gasping sobs.
"Ye-yes... okay." You forced yourself to breathe deeply, letting the air fill your lungs, but each inhale felt heavy, the weight of your chest pressing down harder with every beat of your racing heart. You tried to follow Danny's request, but every time your pulse began to slow, your mind betrayed you. You couldn't stop the image from flashing in your head, those sharp red acrylic nails raking across his chest.
Your stomach churned, nausea rising as you cursed your vivid imagination. What would those hands look like wrapped around his neck, or worse, holding his hand? What would those nails look like tracing against his skin, trailing down his back in the heat of the moment as she whispered his name in his ear? The thought made your blood run cold, and tears welled up in your eyes once again.
You squeezed your eyes shut, willing the thoughts to vanish. But they clung to you, persistent and cruel, reminding you of everything you were afraid to face. It wasn’t just the physical imagery, either. It was the emotional betrayal of the way his eyes might soften when he looked at her, the way he might laugh at her jokes. She probably made him feel something you couldn’t. And he had probably been slipping away for quite some time.
A broken sob escaped your lips, and you clenched your fists at your sides, wishing you could stop thinking about it, wishing you could stop hurting. You knew Danny was close, but the minutes felt like hours. You hated how powerless you felt, sitting there, cold and waiting, suffocated by your own thoughts.
“It’s okay. Whatever it is it’s okay it’ll be okay. I’m nearly there, just hang on a little longer for me, okay?” Danny repeated, hearing your breathing pick up again.
You crouched on the dirt to hug some warmth into you, humming in response to his question. “Danny, can you- can you put the heat on in the car… please. I’m really cold,” you asked and you immediately heard him shuffle with the knobs on the dashboard.
“Are you- are you in the rain?” he asked with urgency.
“I was… I’m standing under a tree now.”
He sighed, “Okay I’m rounding the corner now, can you see me?” he asked and you looked up at the road. True to his word, you could see his black car nearing you as it sped down the road.
“Yes.” You got up and quickly walked to the edge of the street. The rain soaked you again, and you abandoned even attempting to cover your head from its assault.
He pulled up to you at record breaking speed, and breaked harshly beside you on the road. You swung the door open and practically fell into the passenger seat, being immediately engulfed by the warmth of the car.
You slammed the door shut, and muttered a small ‘sorry’ through your shudders as you did up your seat belt.
Being a busy street, Danny had to take off as soon as you were buckled up, and you looked down at the water dripping off your shoes into the car.
“Fuck, you’re soaked,” he commented, as you tried to take off your top jacket to avoid completely soaking his seats.
“I’m sorry,” you apologised, trying to keep your back from the seat to not soak the interior of his car. He had already given you a lift to and from Otis’s house, and the least you could do was not ruin his car in the process. You were trying your hardest to withhold the sobs, but hot tears mixed with the wetness of your face as the lump in your throat began to burn.
“Honey…” Danny comforted when he saw your emotional state. He found the closest quiet street and pulled over on the side of the road.
As soon as the handbrake was on and the car was in neutral, Danny turned to you, clipping off his seatbelt to reach you better. He reached to unclip your seatbelt too, and without hesitation, he pulled you into his arms.
Though it had been steadily trickling since you left Otis’s house, the dam completely broke when you felt the familiar and comforting embrace of Danny. He rubbed soothing strokes up and down your soaked back with a soft flat palm, his hand shuddering against each shaky breath you took.
“Are you hurt? I need to know you’re okay, physically,” he asked, still keeping you tight in his arms.
“I’m not hurt. I’m okay,” you sobbed, clutching at his shirt behind his back.
“Shhh,” he cooed as your sobs continued, “What’s going on? What happened?”
You pulled away from him, slipping back into your seat and wiping furiously at your red and wet eyes. “There was,” you shuddered, “There was a woman,” you explained, eyes now trained on the window wipers that feebly tried to push away the waves of water that fell from the sky, “They were both naked.”
“What?” The volume of his voice was jarring in the otherwise silence of the car. You dared not speak, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. Danny had warned you that Otis wasn’t a good person, but you had ignored him, and you were now putting the weighted burden of your mistake on his shoulders.
Danny ran a frustrated hand through his hair and you kept your eyes before you, silent tears now running down your cheeks.
“She’s really pretty,” you added, and Danny eyed you carefully. He stared at you for a long time, as if trying to see through your skin and into your brain to read every thought that was running through your mind. When he couldn't find anything other than self-loathing and depreciation, he ran a hand through his hair.
“I- fuck I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry.”
You shook in the cold as you stared out the window, unspeaking as silent tears rolled down your cheeks. When he realised you weren’t going to respond, he turned in his seat again and popped the car back into gear before he continued the drive home. He was watching your body shake violently from the cold and knew that as much as he wanted to hold you until you were better, you needed to get out of your wet clothes and into something warm and dry.
“Don't do that,” Danny said, pulling your thumb away from your mouth as you attacked the skin around it.
“‘M sorry,” you muttered with a sniffle, pulling your hands to your lap and fiddling with your fingers instead.
“Don’t need to apologise.”
You were quiet for the rest of the ride. You replayed the moment over and over in your mind, looking back on how he had blatantly told you that he didn't want you there, that you weren’t invited. All because there was another woman. Had she always been there? Was she just a one night stand or had he been cheating on you for longer?
Danny bit his cheek each time he heard you sniffle, every small sound cutting through him like a knife. He glanced over at you, watching as you hastily wiped your eyes, your fingers trembling with the effort of holding yourself together. The sight of you in pain made his chest ache, and every time your hand darted up to your face, he wished he could reach out, pull you close, and wipe your tears away for you. But he didn’t want to push, didn’t want to smother you when you were clearly teetering on the edge.
His fingers tightened around the steering wheel as he navigated the darkening streets, the quiet hum of the car engine doing nothing to soothe the thick tension in the air. You sat next to him, staring out the window, barely moving, but he could see the steady stream of tears that continued to roll down your cheeks. They glistened in the streetlights as you passed them, and he wanted to say something, anything, but he knew no words could fix what you were feeling.
The ride home felt agonisingly long, each second dragging on as Danny tried to focus on the road and not the heart-wrenching sight of you unravelling beside him. He kept biting his cheek, hard enough to taste blood now, but he couldn’t stop himself from glancing over at you every few seconds, praying you’d somehow find a little bit of peace before they made it home.
When Danny finally rolled into the parking spot, the familiarity of your apartment complex looming ahead caused the tears that had slowed for a brief moment on the drive started to pour again, the sight of home making everything worse. The thought of being so close to your bed, to the space where you could collapse and let yourself fully break was overwhelming.
Your breath hitched, and you hugged your arms around yourself, trying to stop the shivering that had taken over your body. The cold had seeped into your bones, making you shake uncontrollably, but you couldn’t tell if it was from the freezing rain that had soaked through your clothes or the sadness that seemed to settle deep in your chest.
Danny killed the engine and turned to you, eyes soft and full of worry. “Let’s get you inside, okay?” His voice was gentle, but the concern was clear. He didn’t wait for you to respond, opening his door quickly and jogging around to your side, pulling open the passenger door.
“Come on, I’ve got you,” he murmured, offering his hand to help you out of the car. You hesitated for just a second, but the exhaustion in your body won out, and you took his hand, letting him guide you. As you stepped out, your legs wobbled beneath you, and without a second thought, Danny wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into his side.
You leaned against him, your sobs becoming louder now that you were out of the confined space of the car. His warmth was comforting, but it wasn’t enough to stop the tidal wave of emotion that had hit you. As he helped you up the steps to the apartment, you clung to his sweater, your cold fingers digging into the fabric as if you could hold onto him and stop yourself from spiralling.
Each step felt heavy, the weight of your sadness pressing down on you like a physical force, and you stumbled a little as you climbed. Danny tightened his grip on you, steadying you with every step, whispering quiet reassurances even though he wasn’t sure you could hear them over the sound of your own sobbing.
You weren’t crying for any reason now, yet it felt like your emotional capacity was a heavy ball that had been pushed off a hill. Once it started rolling, you couldn't stop.
Once inside, the warmth of the apartment hit you, but it did nothing to thaw the ice in your bones. You barely registered Danny closing the door behind you, his arm still around your shoulders as he led you deeper into your apartment. Despite his support, your mind had already begun its familiar descent into destructive thoughts. If Otis didn’t want you, then who would? The rejection felt like a punch to the gut, and the more you thought about it, the more it hurt.
Without a word, you pulled away from Danny, feeling the loss of his warmth immediately but ignoring it as you left him standing in the middle of the living room alone. You made a beeline for your bedroom, your body moving on autopilot. The door clicked shut behind you, and even though there wasn’t a lock, you knew Danny wouldn’t come in. He respected your space, your boundaries, but that knowledge only made the ache in your chest deepen. The loneliness pressed in harder, suffocating.
Inside the sanctuary of your room, you didn’t care that you were drenched to the bone, or that your clothes clinging to your body uncomfortably. The cold had long since numbed your skin, and now it was creeping into your muscles, making your limbs ache with a dull, persistent throb. You shivered violently, your teeth chattering so hard they ached, but it was a distant sensation compared to the emotional storm raging inside you.
You toed off your soaked shoes, not even bothering to untie them properly. Normally, the thought of tracking dirt or water onto your bed would have horrified you as your bed was your sacred space, always spotless, always prepared for sleep in clean pyjamas after a long shower. But tonight, none of that mattered. Your mind was too far gone, too consumed by the thoughts that swirled around relentlessly.
You crawled onto the bed without a second thought, the damp sheets immediately sticking to your wet clothes. The fabric clung to your skin, cold and uncomfortable, but it didn’t register. All you could think about was curling into the tightest ball possible, as if making yourself small enough would somehow make the pain disappear.
The sobs wracked your body violently, each one more painful than the last. You pressed your face into the pillow, muffling the sound, but it didn’t stop the flood of tears from soaking the fabric. Your whole body trembled, not just from the cold, but from the anguish that had taken over.
And still, despite the physical discomfort, despite the relentless sobbing, your mind couldn’t stop fixating on Otis. You kept replaying every word he’d said, every look, every action that made you feel like you weren’t enough. You kept thinking about how he didn’t want you, how he didn’t choose you. That gut wrenching feeling of rejection echoed through you like a broken record, and no matter how much you tried to push it away, it lingered.
But it wasn't the loss of Otis that hurt you so much as the feeling of being left behind for someone better. Your self esteem had plummeted, all feelings of security and trust torn apart with no remorse.
Minutes passed, maybe longer, until you were dimly aware of the soft knock on your door, Danny’s voice drifting through the wood gently.
"Hey… I'm just gonna leave some dry clothes outside your door, okay?" he said, his voice calm but clearly worried. You didn’t respond, too lost in the flood of emotions, but you heard him shuffle around outside before retreating.
A little while later, Danny returned, seeing the pile of clothes left outside untouched. He called your name gently with a brush of his knuckles against the wood, “Can I come in?” he asked cautiously.
“No,” you called out, muffled in the pillows your face was buried in.
He hesitated in the silence. “I don’t— I think you need to get out of your wet clothes,” he commented, voice still quiet behind the door. “You might get sick.”
“Don’t tell me what to do. I’m an adult, I’ll do what I want,” you snapped.
You had no idea where that outburst had come from. You immediately felt guilty as you imagined how Danny would have recoiled at your words and tone of voice. It was glaringly obvious to both you and Danny that you were only acting hostile as a way to protect yourself. Protect the fragile feeling of trust you had so carefully maintained throughout your life.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that… you can come in,” you said so quietly, that Danny may not have even heard you.
Though with heavy caution, Danny reached down to twist the handle. He knew you didn't mean what you were saying. You were hurt, and had been betrayed in arguably the worst way someone could be. He knew you just needed someone to be in your corner.
You didn't dare look behind you at Danny as he entered your room, and instead kept your head buried in your pillows.
“Hey,” he whispered, and you felt the edge of your bed dip as he sat down. He reached out hesitantly, and put his warm palm on your bare arm. He flinched the feeling of your skin, chilled from your still soaked clothes. “Shit, you’re freezing,” he commented.
With your back still turned, you stared blankly into the plush pillows in front of you, your eyes fixated on the growing wet stain spreading across the fabric. You couldn’t distinguish if it was from your soaked hair or the relentless flow of tears that you had cried. Your pillowcase, usually soft and comforting, now felt cold and uninviting, just another reminder of the misery that clung to you like the dampness in your clothes.
Your chest rose and fell with uneven breaths, each one laboured as you tried to suppress the sobs that threatened to rise again. The wet patch in front of you seemed to expand with every tear, but you couldn’t muster the energy to wipe your face or even shift positions.
Everything felt heavy. Your body, your heart, your thoughts. It was as though the weight of everything Otis had said, everything you felt, was sinking into that single spot on the pillow, and no matter how long you stared, it wouldn’t disappear.
“Hey,” he carefully pulled you away from your thoughts. Sniffling, you rolled over to face him, and his heart ached at the sight of you. Eyes and lips swollen, red and raw from your crying, and incessant rubbing.
“Will you please change into something warmer?” he asked, eyes soft and genuine as he stared at you, his thumb stroking against the cold skin of your arm, “I can help you if you need,” he added. You sighed, hard and long before pushing yourself up from your bed into a sitting position.
“Fuckkk,” you groaned, letting your head fall into your hands as you groaned, “This is such a mess.”
You looked back up again, assessing the damage you had done to your bed, which carried the consequences of you collapsing in it while still wet. Danny got up quickly, taking the clothes he had left for you outside of your bedroom door and bringing them to you at the bed.
“I think a warm shower would do you good,” he suggested, “It’ll help you warm up quicker.” The thought of the warm water pouring over your tired and cold muscles seemed like heaven, but now that he was here, you didn't want Danny to leave.
“Yeah, you’re right,” you agreed, moving to get up from your bed. Danny rushed out of your bedroom and searched through your shared hallway cupboard for the softest towel he could find.
He watched as you slowly emerged from your bedroom, posture slumped and insecure, arms wrapped securely around your body. Your jeans and top clung to your body tightly from the slick, and your hair left a wet residue on your neck.
“I can put the towel in the dryer for you while you shower. That way when you get out it’ll be nice and warm,” he suggested. His attention to detail made you smile.
Though his offer was kind, you knew what you wanted more than a warm towel. The thought that came into your mind was absurd, and could very possibly make Danny uncomfortable by crossing the boundaries of your friendship that you had both treaded in all those years. But you didn’t want— you couldn’t be left alone, or you feared you would curl up onto the cold tile floors and cry until you died.
“What's up?” he asked, hand raising to the side of your face to thumb away the remaining tears left on your cheeks. You glanced up at him shyly, trying to reign the confidence to ask him the question.
He frowned at the look of conflict on your face as you debated with yourself, “Hey. Whatever it is, you can tell me. You can tell me anything, you know that,” he offered with a kind smile. That same smile that had dried your tears too many times over the years, “‘S only me.”
You took a deep breath, “I just… I don’t know how to say this. I don’t want you to leave me alone. I want— I’m scared of being left alone again,” you admitted though still skirting around the truth of your sudden discomfort.
“I won't ever leave you alone, you know that. I’m always here for you,” he comforted, stroking your wet hair away from your face in a way that felt so intimate, so domestic, that you nearly began to cry again.
“That’s not… that’s not what I mean.” You took a deep, steadying breath, “Will— um, will you come with me?” you added in a mumble, cheeks heating at your question.
He cocked his head in confusion, “Come with you where?”
You swallowed thickly in embarrassment, physically unable to say the words. You were ready to dismiss it, and tell him it didn't matter when realisation struck his face.
“You mean… come with you to shower?” he asked quietly, surprise reigning his features at your admittance.
You were a fool. You had just ruined the relationship you had with your boyfriend, and you were already on track to do the same with your best friend.
“I— I’m so sorry. I don’t even know why I suggested that, seriously, just forget it, I—”
“No, no, stop. I… I’m happy to… if uh, if that’s what you need,” Danny answered, his heart thumping in his chest at your suggestion. This was a boundary that neither of you had ever crossed. Sure you had seen each other close to nakedness before, but only by pure accident or in the form of skimpy swimwear.
Both of you knew that doing this was different. Even suggesting it had changed something between the two of you, and it had brought to life the truth that you had both been hiding beneath platonic smiles for your whole lives.
You couldn't look at him, and instead looked at the towel he held tightly in his hands, “Are you sure?” you asked quietly.
Jaw tight and eyes cautious, he nodded silently. “You go and get started, and I’ll uh, join you in a minute, okay?” he suggested and you tucked a tuft of hair behind your ear.
“Okay,” you whispered. As you turned to walk away, nerves swelling in your stomach at your decision, Danny cleared his throat again.
"Are you... do you want me to keep my... um, boxers on?" Danny’s voice was as gentle as ever, like slow dripping honey that coated each word with the tenderness you had come to depend on. It was just Danny, always so considerate, always thinking of how to make you feel comfortable, especially in moments as vulnerable as this.
The question, though spoken with the utmost care, still startled you. Your heart skipped, and you felt a small flutter of uncertainty rise in your chest. You feared that whatever answer you gave might lead to discomfort, but there was a deep, aching need inside you to be close to him. Closer than you had ever been before. Something unspoken tugged at you, a silent yearning to connect with him in a way that transcended the physical.
"If you want. But I don't mind if you don't," you murmured, your voice softer than you intended, as if afraid the wrong words might break the fragile atmosphere.
Before he could respond, you turned and made your way down the hallway to the bathroom, the soft patter of your footsteps against the floor the only sound echoing in the quiet apartment. You gently swung the bathroom door shut, leaving it ajar just enough to let him know that he was welcome. You twisted the shower tap, letting the heavy stream of hot water fill the shower, the sound of it pounding against the tile, a soothing background hum that drowned out the noise in your mind.
Your clothes clung stubbornly to your body as you peeled them off, each article of fabric a reminder of the evening's cold and the emotions that had seeped into your bones. The chill in the air bit at your exposed skin, and a violent shiver wracked your body, leaving you trembling as you stood naked in the dim bathroom. You barely spared a glance in the mirror, catching only a fleeting, distorted reflection of yourself, a body that tonight, felt uglier than it ever had. The blotchy redness from your sobs clashed with the paleness of your cold skin, and you looked away quickly, unable to face the image.
Stepping into the shower, you sighed deeply as the hot water cascaded over your head, the sensation washing away the lingering chill. It was a simple pleasure, the heat sinking into your scalp, down your neck, and through your entire body. You tipped your head back, allowing the water to flow over your face, burning just enough to be distracting, before it slid down your shoulders and over the curve of your breasts. For a brief, blissful moment, you forgot about Otis, the heartbreak, the insecurity, everything.
Danny's soft footsteps padding into the bathroom snapped you back to reality, and your heart gave a nervous flutter as you saw his silhouette through the thin shower curtain. You turned your back to him, yet could still feel his presence as he shuffled with his things by the countertop, your senses heightened by the silence in the room. As he approached, the shower curtain shifted slightly, letting in a sliver of cool air that made you shiver again, but this time not entirely from the cold.
Wordlessly, you stepped forward, making room for him under the stream of water, and you heard his deep, contented exhale as the warmth enveloped him. You felt a shy smile tug at your lips, though you didn’t dare turn around. The thought of exposing yourself fully to him was daunting, even though you had never felt safer with anyone else.
Reaching up, you grabbed the bottle of vanilla shampoo, your fingers trembling slightly as you struggled to maintain your composure. But before you could open the bottle, you felt Danny’s warmth behind you, not close enough to touch, but enough for you to feel his steady, comforting force and hot, heavy breath by your ear. He reached over your shoulder, his hand brushing yours as he gently took the bottle from you. The touch was brief, but electric, sending a ripple of warmth through your chest.
"Let me," he offered, his breath tickling the skin beside your ear. The shampoo bottle clicked open, the scent of vanilla filling the air as Danny lathered up the shampoo by rubbing it between his large hands.
You stood still, your heart pounding in your chest as his hands moved to your head, slowly threading into your locks and pressing to your scalp. His fingers were strong but somehow gentle as ever, working the shampoo into your scalp in slow, deliberate motions, in a way that made your knees weak. You let out a whispered groan, the sound escaping before you could stop it as your body relaxed under his touch.
You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch as he continued to wash your hair. His fingers traced soothing patterns against your scalp, moving with such care that you felt your chest ache with emotion. This wasn’t just an act of kindness. It was love. Pure, unspoken, and unconditional.
This was no longer just about getting clean either, you realised; this was something else entirely. The both of you, stood there, completely exposed, completely vulnerable, and yet there was no awkwardness and no sense of pressure or expectation. It wasn’t sexual, but it wasn’t entirely platonic either. It was something deeper, something built on years of quiet affection, of love that had been waiting patiently for the right moment to reveal itself.
He soon rinsed his hands under the water, and touched your shoulder gently as he pulled you back under the stream. He aided with washing the shampoo out of your hair with his hands, running through your scalp and squeezing at your hair as the soapy suds travelled down your hair and down to his feet.
You had completely forgotten about Otis, you realised, as Danny reached up to grab the bottle of conditioner, doing the same as before but only raking the product through the ends of your hair.
Your breathing was heavy, and you suddenly felt the urge to cry again, but not out of sadness this time. You turned around to face him, feeling no insecurity over the exposure of your bare body when his burning gaze remained on your face.
“Danny…” you started, frowning at the overwhelming feeling of your new realisation. Your face told him everything he needed to know, eyebrows pinched in desperation, and tears brimming at your eyes.
To your lack of knowledge, Danny had always felt a way for you that he shouldn’t have, loving you silently in the shadows under platonic guise. After years of yearning, only now did he see that you could finally feel it too. Be it only an inkling of affection, it was enough to make his heart skip.
He reached up and cupped your cheek, “I know, sweet girl.” He nodded, his thumb stroking the apple of your cheek lovingly, and you leaned into his touch. When he let go, you dropped your head, hanging it low between your bodies, your eyes closed in exhaustion.
Danny stepped forward slowly, his feet splashing against the pool of water at your feet, and he engulfed you in the embrace of his long arms. Your head fell into the spot between his arm and chest, and that same arm came up to cradle your head. You could feel his other bare arm on your back, your breasts pressed against his chest and you flushed at the proximity.
You desperately tried to hold him too, arms wrapped around his abdomen and folded up to hook your hands over his shoulders. You didn't notice the tears that flowed from your eyes, as they became one with the water that flowed between you both.
“Danny,” you whispered. He nuzzled into your hair, a comforting gesture that made your heart race.
“Hmm?” he replied softly, encouraging you to continue. The moment hung heavy in the air, filled with unspoken feelings.
The feeling was so overwhelming, that you realised you could no longer pretend to be just friends, as the desire to love him loudly completely consumed you.
Finally, you spoke, your confession bursting forth like a long held secret, “I think I love you.” The words tumbled out, raw and unfiltered, a rush of emotion that felt both exhilarating and terrifying.
You felt his stomach tighten at your words, and he pulled back slightly to gaze down at you. You raised your head from his chest to meet his eyes to see them pleading in wonder. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. For so long, he had admired the beauty of your soul in silence, waited in suppressed agony, fearing that revealing his feelings would push you away. Your company was always enough for him to keep his feelings hidden, as just being near you to hear your laughter, your mind and your soul, had been more than enough.
But now, you were uttering the words he had dreamt of telling you for what felt like his whole life.
“Always,” he whispered, shaking his head in disbelief. His sincerity washed over you like a warm embrace. He tucked your wet hair behind your ear, his fingers brushing your skin gently. “I always have.”
Your eyes widened in disbelief, searching his for confirmation. “What?” you managed to ask, your voice breaking. Instead of answering, Danny leaned down, closing the distance between you, and held his face close to yours. He lingered for a moment, as if giving you time to pull away, before he brought his lips to yours in a gentle caress.
His lips were soft and slow against yours, hesitant and testing at the new sensation. Neither of you could believe what was happening, and you marvelled at the intimacy of the moment, the tenderness. Never would you have thought this would be how you ended up, and now that it was happening, there was no going back.
Danny's hands rested hesitantly beside you, ghosting your skin as he resisted the urge to touch you, as he was painfully aware of your state of undress and didn't want to cross any boundaries. You took them into your own hands, and pulled them to rest on the sides of your waist. He gripped the skin softly at the sensation.
Your mouths explored each other, and you reached your hands up to tangle in his hair as you revelled in the new feeling. It felt as if you had searched every corner of Danny, as your years of friendship had taught you things about him even his family didn't know, yet this was unexplored territory.
Danny pulled away with a deep inhale, and he took in the sight of your flushed face, mouth slightly agape and eyes wide. A small smile crept onto his face at his realisation of what had just happened.
“You’re so beautiful, d’ you know that?” he whispered, hand gliding up and down the curve of your waist. You looked down shyly, at both the compliment and your own understanding of what had just happened.
“You are too,” you mumbled quietly, a blush tinting your cheeks. You could no longer look at Danny without your heart exploding, and when he smiled a bit wider at your words, you turned back around, reaching for the body wash and fiddling with the cap.
Danny was more hesitant to offer helping you clean your body than he was your hair, ever considerate of your boundaries. You had both taken huge steps in mere minutes, and the last thing he wanted was for you to feel rushed.
You of course knew this, and decided that your bold streak hadn’t ended yet. “Would you… help me with this one too?” you asked quietly, turning to look up at Danny through your lashes.
“Anything,” he answered with a nod, taking the bottle from your hands gently and pouring the soapy substance over his hands. You could tell he was still hesitant, the act of touching you was clearly daunting for him, and you tried your best to show him you were okay. You nodded at him to go ahead, and he gingerly reached his hands to your shoulders, massaging the product over them, pulling your arms out horizontally so that he could lather it across them too.
Avoiding the obvious, his hands dragged back up your arms and to your back. You turned for him, letting his strong fingers knead into your muscles, making you hum in approval, head dropping forward at the feeling. He tucked your hair over your right shoulder to move it out of his way. His hands travelled over the expanse of your back, fingers dipping into your dimples of venus, but not treading any further before he pulled them back up, running long stripes either side of your spine.
His hands travelled around your waist then, and you turned again for him as the warmth of his hands spread over your stomach, sides and ribs, hesitating just below your breasts.
Your stomach flipped as you became aware now that his gaze was not holding its respectful attachment to your face, and was now all over your chest, trying to touch you anywhere but there.
You bit your cheek, and slowly reached up to take his hand that was settled on your ribs into yours. His eyes zoned in on your own as you dragged his hand up your body and rested it on your breast.
“It’s okay,” you told him. To say that these moments were not entirely sexual anymore would be untrue. And you’d be lying if you said that you hadn’t caught glimpses of his situation down below, despite your efforts to keep your gaze above his waist.
Breath heavy, and feeling like he would pass out any moment, Danny tenderly ran his hands over your breasts, rounding at the swell and dipping in the valley as he lathered them in the soap. He wasn't hasty to move on, but he didn’t linger for too long, letting you know that he did not expect anything sexual from you. As he washed your upper half, you scrubbed at your bottom, running the soap in your hands over your legs and behind, to speed up the process.
Danny pulled you back under the stream, and quickly rejected your offer to wash him the same.
“You’re exhausted, and I’m worried if you spend another minute in the steam you’ll pass out,” he said with a teasing smile, half joking. You frowned at his words.
“I’m not exhausted, I can do it.”
“Honey…” he started, lifting your arm and showcasing your hands which were trembling without support.
You huffed at his consideration. “Okay, fine… if you’re sure.”
He smiled at you, his hand on your hip squeezing gently, “I am.” He dipped down and gave you a quick peck on the lips, the act startling you, as you had almost forgotten the events that just occurred between the two of you. As if you weren't just guiding his hand to your breasts. As if he weren’t standing before you in those moments, with an obviously painful erection.
You gave him one last smile before you pulled the shower curtain open and stepped out. The cold slapped you in the face and you were quick to shut the curtain behind you to keep Danny warm. Picking up your towel and wrapping it around your body was a beautiful reprieve from the biting cold, and when you looked out of the fogged glass of the bathroom window, you could tell that the rain outside was just as relentless as it was before.
You listened to foamy soap hit the floor as Danny washed through his own hair while you collected your hairbrush and other essentials, before you silently slipped out of the bathroom door, not bothering to close it all the way behind you.
Your mood now soaring at heights unimaginable, you padded to your bedroom, a small smile on your face as you thought back on the intimacy of the moments you had just shared. When you stepped into your bedroom though, you were reminded of the mess that was your life.
Your bed was soaked, sheets and pillows bore big wet patches and you were sure the moisture had soaked through to your mattress too. You shut your eyes and took a deep breath, before deciding what to do. You shuffled through your pyjama drawers and picked out some long plaid pants along with a white singlet and a hoodie. You changed quickly, not wanting the warmth of your body to succumb to the cold again, and once you were changed, you walked back out of your room and into the living room, where you set up camp on the couch.
Meanwhile, Danny was running his hands through his wet locks, the water cascading down his face as he replayed those moments over and over again in his mind. He had waited for you for so long. Loved you in silence for so long. And it was all worth it.
Once he left the shower he wrapped the last towel around his waist, squeezing the wetness out of his hair and leaving it otherwise to air dry.
As he left the bathroom, he could hear you humming softly in the living room, and he passed his room to see you again. Danny watched in admiration at you, dressed comfortably while you typed and scrolled on your phone, cross legged on the couch, Your wet hair hung down your back, but your sweater protected you from the cold this time.
He frowned when he saw the couch, set up in a way he could only assume was your attempt to sleep on it.
The sound of his arrival got your attention, “Hey, I’m ordering Thai delivery,” you said, eyes still trained on your phone as you typed in your card details.
Danny smiled warmly at you, “Great, thanks… um, what’s all this?” he asked, hands gesturing to the makeshift bed you had set up on the couch. Although just seeing him completely naked, and having that naked body pressed against your own, you stifled at the sight of him with only a towel around his waist.
You cleared your throat and averted your gaze, “Oh, my bed is really wet from… you know, lying on it earlier.”
He shook his head, “No, you aren’t sleeping on the couch. I have a double, you can sleep with me.” He immediately blushed at the alternate innuendo his words held, “Not like sleep together, just, you know, go to sleep,” he tripped over his words anxiously, making you force back a smile.
“Are you sure? I’m fine to—”
“Yes I’m sure. One hundred percent,” he assured quickly before he reached up to scratch the back of his neck, “I mean, we did just shower together.”
Now it was your turn to blush, and you looked back to your phone to hide your face, agreeing quietly.
Danny retreated to his room to get into his pyjamas, and quickly tidied the space up, feeling self conscious at the state his room was in, shoving his clothes into his drawers haphazardly, and others he took to the laundry basket. Once he was satisfied, he returned to the living room.
He sat down beside you, his thigh brushing yours and you suddenly became insecure of where you both stood. Usually, it would be normal to sit so close together, laughing and chatting through movies, but now, things were different. You didn't want to come across as pushy and rushed, but similarly didn't want to do the opposite, act cold or distant after the moments you had shared.
If Danny was having the same fears, he didn’t let it show, as he wrapped his arm around you and tugged you closer to him while he leaned over to reach for the TV remote with a grunt.
“Watcha wanna watch?”
You and Danny settled on the first movie you could, only pausing to get your takeout delivery from the door, before you returned to your position, which seemed to be steadily moving closer to Danny with each reposition or shuffle.
By the time the film was over and your bellies were full, you were exhausted. You had been emotionally wrecked throughout the day, ranging from betrayal and heartbreak, to renewal and love.
Danny steadied you by your elbow as you stood, helping you gather your things to take to his room. You were too sleepy to feel nervous.
“Which side do you sleep on?” you asked as you stood by the doorway.
Danny scratched the back of his head, “Usually the right, but I don't mind. I move around a lot when I sleep anyway.” Truth be told, Danny rathered that you slept on his side, as he knew that his pillow would smell like you by morning.
It apparently didn't matter though, as when you slipped under the covers of the left side of the bed beside him, his senses were overwhelmed with you. Your smell, your energy and your heat. It also wasn’t long before the two of you closed the distance between you, arms and legs tangled in your attempts to be impossibly closer to one another, your fronts pressed together just like the moments you shared in the shower.
It all felt so normal. You attributed it to being friends for your whole lives, giving you the ability to close emotional distance without second thought, but it was still startling nonetheless.
“Thanks again for letting me sleep here, it’s definitely more comfortable than the couch,” you whispered, and he reached behind him to turn off the bedside lamp.
Now cloaked in darkness, you relied only on your hearing to navigate Danny beside you. The rain was still pouring outside the window, and in a way, it felt fitting as a reminder of your day. While a disastrous storm brewed outside, you were safe and warm with Danny at home.
“Maybe… maybe we could make it a regular thing?” Danny asked nervously. “You know, since you love me and all that,” he teased, trying to ease the tension of his suggestion. You groaned in embarrassment and buried your head into his chest, hearing his chuckles vibrate in his chest.
“I would like that very much, thank you.”
“Don't thank me. You have no idea how happy I am to have you with me like this.”
You sighed deeply, and decided it was your turn to tease. “And just how long have you felt this way for me, hm?”
Danny chuckled dryly but swallowed, hesitating to tell you in case it made things weird. He didn’t want you to feel that his friendship had ever been false, or as a ruse to gain your attention in that way.
His nose brushed against your forehead, “I’ve known for sure since eighth grade.” His statement was heavy, yet honest, and it hung in the air wearily as he waited for you to respond.
You pulled your head away from him, “Eighth grade?! Danny… what— why didn’t you say anything?”
He sighed, “I didn’t want to ruin what we had.”
You understood, but wished he had told you sooner, as though you hadn’t ever realised it was quite love, you knew that you never would have turned away the idea of being with Danny like that.
“We wasted so much time,” you sighed.
“What? You mean you felt the same?” he asked, shock lacing his words as his hand tightened around your frame.
You nodded, “You’ve always treated me better than any boy I ever went out with. I just didn't think that— I didn't think that this was a possibility. I thought you were too good for that. Too—”
“Too good for what?”
“You know, like with your band and stuff. I don't know, I guess I thought you had more important people to see than me. I didn’t ever think you would— could actually see me like that,” you tried to explain.
Danny groaned, “Oh God. I’m never gonna live this down.”
Your brow creased in confusion, “What do you mean?”
“Sammy knew I liked you before I even did, used to tease me about it all the time. The three of them have watched me act like an idiot around you for years. I can't believe you thought that I was ‘too cool’ for you.” He chuckled, though regret laced the dry laugh.
You felt mild embarrassment at the thought that the boys, who you’d become close with the years that you knew Danny, were keeping the secret from you that would ultimately change your life indefinitely.
He whispered your name, pulling you from your thoughts, “I have always loved you. Nothing will ever change that.”
“I love you too,” you whispered, the words feeling new and foreign on your lips, yet somehow just right. You clutched his shirt in your hands and shuffled incredibly closer to him. He smelt like Danny, the comfort you had grown to turn to after many years of safekeeping your heart.
“Goodnight, sweet girl.” You felt him kiss the top of your head, followed by the feeling of his nose nuzzling into your hair and sighing deeply.
“Goodnight Danny.”
As you welcomed the blankets of exhaustion over your spent body, Danny began to hum a familiar tune, his voice sounding distant in your haze of sleep. Soon, the song became unmistakably recognisable.
Because, by The Beatles. Your favourite song.
𓅪
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Danny loved that his band was finally getting at least some recognition, he just hadn’t imagined that their first live gig would be doing covers at a local bar overrun with college students. It wasn’t the students that bugged him, in fact he was thankful for them. Because so many of their favorite bands were some of the greats- Kiss, Zepplin, Def Leppard, Metallica- that bar remained unchanged even as more and more surrounding establishments caved into the “pop” craze and turned into neon nightclubs. And although he never went to college, Danny had spent enough time in the bar scene over the last few years to know that no one tips musicians better than newly 21-year-olds legally drunk for the first time.
No, it was the fact that they were only doing covers that bothered him. He and the other guys in Archer had worked so hard to get their band “out there” more. They had spent countless hours writing, practicing, and perfecting original songs, had contacted every local radio station and record label, but only got doors slammed in their faces. One day the world would hear their music, but no record labels wanted to sign new rock artists, unsure of whether to take the risk that they would go unheard over the stream of constant pop slowly consuming every radio station.
Pushing his thoughts to the back of his mind, Danny tunes back into the cacophony of noise surrounding him, taking a sip of his room temperature Budweiser and cringing at the taste of it. Having lost track of time and being too anxious to remember he had it, his drink had grown flat and too-warm, the fizz of it uncomfortable on his tongue. Is this gig even worth it? I mean, it’s our first live show, but it feels wrong that it’s only covering other real artists. Maybe we should just quit while we’re ahead.
The panic coursing through his mind immediately derails when he sees a flash of soft chestnut waves catch the light halfway across the bar from him, and he can’t help but let his eyes wander down to the deep maroon silk blouse cascading from the owner’s frame. And by the looks of it, she was set on a path straight to Danny, somehow making her way through the crowd easily even as she kept her head turned away, speaking to two beautiful men following close behind. Maybe I’ll stay a little longer. God, I hope one of those guys isn’t her boyfriend or something.
Turning away from the approaching group, Danny signals down one of the bartenders, tapping his ring against the glass of his ruined beer to ask for another. Suddenly, someone leans against the bar at his side, and he barely has a chance to register the momentary glimpse of maroon silk and long brown hair before they speak. “Make that two.”
Looking over at his company, Danny finds that the “woman” that had caught his eye across the bar wasn’t a woman at all, but a gorgeous young man looking up at him through his lashes with a glint in his eye that Danny knew meant nothing but trouble. Oh- that works too.
“Can I pay for your drink?”
“Why?” The word leaves his lips before Danny can think, and embarrassment tinges his cheeks as he struggles to keep his expression from wavering.
“Because my brothers saw you eyeing me and I think you’re cute.” Although the man offers him a smile thick with charm, Danny doesn’t miss the way the corners of his lips falter ever so slightly or that all too familiar glimmer of fear in his eyes. “If that isn’t too bold of me to say.”
“It isn’t.”
“Alright then, can I buy you a drink?”
“Only if you tell me your name.” The second the bartender sets their glasses down in front of them, the man already has his cash in hand, immediately paying for the drinks before Danny can even move to stop him.
“Sam. What about you? Anything I can call you, other than handsome?”
Surprised at the cheesy pick-up attempt and the sudden rush of warmth at the sight of Sam’s lopsided grin, Danny snorts, finally allowing his smile to shine through the cool expression he had trained his face into. “Does that line usually work on guys?”
“Oh, you’d be surprised. Some guys are just way too stupid and horny to see through my bullshit.”
“And do you think I’m just another stupid, horny guy?” Cocking his eyebrow at Sam, something flares deep within his chest as Danny watches the other man grow shy at his question, a slightly nervous smile replacing his confident grin slowly.
“No, I just use it to see if a guy is worth my time or not.”
“Am I worth your time?” Despite his words, Danny makes sure to tinge his tone with sultry amusement, slowly letting the smile creep back onto his face so Sam knew he meant nothing by it.
“I guess we’ll find out. C’mon, let’s go to a quieter corner.” Before Sam even takes a step, Danny feels his slender fingers wrap around his wrist, his cool skin a relief against his own in the muggy bar. Allowing Sam to guide him through the small crowds of people, they finally stop in what seemed to be the only uninhabited corner of the venue, far enough away from any speakers so that they could just barely hear each other without yelling.
“What about your brothers? Won’t they come looking for you?”
“Na, I wouldn’t worry about them. They’re probably right in front of the stage enjoying the show already. They only come for the alcohol and live music.”
“How about you? You here for the music too or just got dragged along?”
Sam all but rolls his eyes at the question, scoffing lightly before taking a drink. “Just got dragged along. The only people that play at places like this are just shitty cover bands.”
Fighting the grin trying to overtake his lips, Danny coughs to muffle a laugh that he can’t keep in, hoping that Sam wouldn’t notice or read too much into it. It would be much funnier if he didn’t realize just who he said that to until Danny stepped onto that stage. Stage. Shit, how long have I got? Checking his watch, Danny curses himself, realizing that he only had about five minutes before their band was introduced. I can stay for a little longer… I mean, the stage is right there. Just change the subject. “You must be new in town, I haven’t seen you at Mirador before.”
“Yup, just moved here from Michigan, decided I wanted to try the big city life for a change. My brothers have been here for ages, though, so they picked the bar.”
“Oh shit, I’m from Michigan too.”
“Really?”
“Born and raised.”
“What brought you to LA then?”
What brought me to LA? The need to escape, just go anywhere else? The inability to ignore that pit that grew in my stomach every day I stayed, knowing that my life would be meaningless if I didn’t go? You can’t say that, Danny, you’ll fucking scare him off. Just- just play it off. “Sex.” Refocusing his emotional energy, Danny grins wolfishly at Sam as he watches his eyes go wide at the word. “Drugs. Rock and Roll, baby. That’s what it’s all about, right?”
“Right.” Although Sam smiles at him, something lurks beneath it that Danny can’t quite place. Was it confusion, surprise, or judgement? I mean he can’t judge me for that considering the bar we’re in right now. “How long you been living here?”
“Almost four years. Time’s really flown by though.” Time. Fuck. Looking down at his watch and seeing that he had only three minutes left, Danny’s heart sinks as he turns his attention back to Sam, not wanting to leave that corner, not wanting to leave him so soon. “Well, Sam, I’ve really, really liked talking to you, but I gotta go.” Grabbing a discarded pen and napkin off a nearby table, Danny scrawls out his landline number before handing it to Sam while trying to ignore the disappointment clear on his face. “Call me tonight? Or tomorrow, just not before noon.”
“What, you have a hot date you gotta get to?”
“No,” Danny grins, clearly confusing the other man as the hurt on his face becomes muddled momentarily. “My shitty cover band is about to go on.” As much as he wanted to stay and watch Sam process his confession, Danny allows himself only a second to watch the realization and embarrassment mix in his expression before turning away and all but sprinting to the small “backstage” area.
The second Dave sees him, he all but jumps Danny, his eyes wide and wild as he scrambles to make sure everything was ready. “Where the fuck have you been, man? What are you wearing??”
“What do you mean?” Glancing down, Danny can’t find anything wrong with his flannel, t-shirt, and black jeans, and confusion overtakes him as Dave throws a metallic silver shirt at him.
“Put this on. I want your eyeliner done and hair teased at least a foot higher in the next thirty seconds.” Danny has no time to respond as Dave shoves a can of hairspray and an eyeliner pencil into his hand before scurrying off, no doubt to check on the state of their other bandmates.
Jesus Christ, how am I supposed to play in this? Shedding his layers despite him being extremely aware of the lack of privacy he had, Danny squeezes into the shirt Dave had given him, thankful that the material, although still tight, seemed to stretch to accommodate his shoulders, chest, and biceps. As the band on stage says their goodbyes, Danny rushes over to a small, dirty mirror in the corner, hastily smearing the pencil liner on his lower lash line before smudging it with his fingers quickly and moving on to his hair. With how frizzed out it had become in the humidity of the bar, he barely has to tease it before locking the curls into place with an ungodly amount of hairspray. He has mere seconds to adjust his bangs before Dave’s at his side again, all but throwing his guitar into his hands just to run over to the edge of the stage with the rest of the band.
Alright Danny, it may just be covers but this is still the largest crowd we’ve played for. Don’t fuck this up. Making his way to the others, he walks up just in time to hear Dave’s last run through of their set list. “Opening with Welcome to the Jungle, next is Pour Some Sugar On Me, Sweet Child O’ Mine, Whole Lotta Love, and ending with I Was Made for Lovin’ You. Danny, that’s a lot of guitar solos, think you can handle it?”
All eyes find Danny, and anxiety spikes in the pit of his stomach, suddenly overcome with nausea. Not now, Danny. Not fucking right now. “Yeah, I got it.”
“You sure?” Nodding his response, Dave slaps Danny lightly on the shoulder with a grin before pulling him into a side hug. “You got this, man. Cool with doing backup vocals too?”
“Yep.” Before he can say anything more, Danny registers a man introducing them, their band, over the microphone, and in that moment, pride fills Danny. Taking a deep breath, he follows his bandmates out onto the stage, momentarily blinded by the lights as adrenaline courses through his veins. Dave’s introduction goes unheard as Danny situates himself on stage, plugging his guitar into the amplifier and finding himself disappointed at the lack of pedals.
Dave is looking at me; why is he looking at me like that. FUCK. Welcome to the Jungle- I start this one off. Forcing himself to move, Danny somehow steadies his hands enough to take a ready position, and he feels his heart stop in that second of silence before he blasts the intro riff over the speakers. “Oh, my God.” Even over the sheer volume of his guitar, Danny can clearly hear Dave whine the words into his microphone, and it isn’t long before their drummer and rhythm guitarist join in, finally followed by their bassist plucking that familiar beat out on the other side of the stage.
What happens next, Danny can’t even begin to explain. As their volume grows, overlapping and building off each other, Danny feels himself grow lighter and lighter. But at the same time, he was entirely aware of his surroundings; of the heat radiating off the lights, the music rattling his brain and vibrating the very floor beneath him. He was there, but not. He was free, lost in the notes blasting from the rough strings beneath his fingertips. This. This is what I was born to do.
“Sex.” Sam’s heart skips a beat at the word, his breath catching in his throat at the hungry smile twisting the man’s lips. “Drugs. Rock and Roll, baby. That’s what it’s all about, right?”
“Right.” He’s living. Really truly living in the moment. What I would give to have that same confidence. “How long you been living here?”
“Almost four years. Time’s really flown by though.” Panic twists in Sam’s chest as he catches the other man glance down at his watch, a scowl twisting his features as he looks back up. “Well, Sam, I’ve really, really liked talking to you, but I gotta go.” Watching as he hastily scrawls something onto a napkin before holding it out for him to take, Sam tries to not let himself be too disappointed now that he had his number. “Call me tonight? Or tomorrow, just not before noon.”
“What, you have a hot date you gotta get to?” Could you sound more pathetic? God, it’s like you’ve never had a guy blow you off before.
“No,” What-? With the man’s answer and smile causing the anxious thoughts consuming his mind to completely screech to a stop, Sam can do nothing but freeze. “My shitty cover band is about to go on.”
He can’t be serious. He’s not- Oh my God, he is serious. Sam feels as if his heart had stopped beating in his very chest as he watches the man grin at him before sprinting towards the backstage area, almost immediately yanked into the hustle and bustle of it. I look like an ass now, I’m surprised he even gave me his number. Glancing down at the scrap in his hand, Sam curses himself as he realizes that he never got the stranger’s name; he had never given it thanks to Sam’s shitty pickup line, and he hadn’t written it along with his number. Usually this is when I sneak off, but maybe I should just stay, try to find him after the show. I mean it wouldn’t hurt to see if his cover band is in fact shitty.
Using his slight build to his advantage, Sam weaves through the crowds surrounding the stage as the current band says their final goodbyes before making their exit, and he picks up his pace for fear of getting caught in the middle of the crowd when the next band came on. Thankfully, Sam manages to push himself to the front, right up to his brothers’ sides, and he taps them on their shoulders to let them know he had joined them.
“Sammyyyy! You’re hanging out with us tonight instead of hiding in the corner with random boys?” Looping his arm around Sam’s shoulder clumsily, it was clear that Josh hadn’t decided to pace himself with his drinks, his rosy cheeks, cheery smile, and slightly slurred lisp a dead giveaway to his sobriety.
“What happened to that guy? He was looking at you like he wanted to eat you alive earlier, I’m surprised you’re not tonguing in the corner.”
Flicking Jake’s ear, Sam resists the urge to roll his eyes, his cheeks growing warm under his brothers’ teasing. “He had to go, gave me his number though.”
When the twins exchange a knowing look, Sam can immediately tell exactly what they were thinking. “No, he didn’t make up an excuse to blow me off. Or at least I hope he didn’t, we’ll find out soon.”
“What do you mean?”
“Please welcome, the one, the only, Archer!” With his attention ripped to the stage, Sam waits with bated breath as he watches each member of the band take their place until finally, he was standing right in front of him. With his teased curls, smudged eyeliner, and that tight, silver shirt that clung to his muscles, he looked like an honest to god rockstar. The lead singer’s introduction fizzles into nothingness as Sam’s attention stays on his rockstar completely, watching as he readied his instrument with shaking hands.
When silence falls over the crowd, each band member’s eyes locked on his rockstar expectantly, fear for the man overcomes Sam. He’s lead guitar. He must be starting the song, and he’s freezing up. It’s- unexpected, what with how confident he seemed. Taking a deep breath, the man finally gets his fingers to move, and as the first few notes blare over the speakers, it was like the music took him over completely. His rockstar had so easily allowed the music to consume him, and he looked oh so good doing it.
With his attention fully on fixed on the other man, Sam barely notices the other instruments joining in, their volume only building as they near the first verse. The second their singer finally adds his vocals, Sam watches his rockstar’s confidence grow, his movements becoming more bold and the forced smile on his face slowly transforming into a wide grin. And as the song progresses, a pit begins to grow within Sam, overtaking his body and mind as disappointment crashes over him in waves.
There has to be something between them, no one can have that much chemistry on stage unless they’re fooling around off stage. Forcing himself away from his spiraling thoughts, Sam’s breath catches in his throat at the sight of his rockstar, still completely lost within the music.
Sam didn’t know how to explain it, but he felt absolutely filthy watching him so intently. With his curls bouncing with the beat, his tongue poking out between his teeth in focused exhilaration, and each slight jut of his hips as he moved to the music, Sam felt like he was watching pure pornography. And when it came time for the guitar solo, Sam is filled with pure lust and jealousy when he lifts his guitar to play it in front of him, allowing their singer to grind into the air just beside (and nearly against) his leg.
Their set flies by faster than Sam can process it, his cheeks surely bright red and his jeans becoming tight at the crotch with each solo. Sam knew he could watch him play forever, he wanted to watch him play forever; everything he did seemed to lure Sam deeper and deeper into his trance. Every time he stuck his tongue out, licking the air suggestively, Sam wanted to know what it would feel like against his skin. He needed to see his eyes roll back in not just pleasure of the music, but pleasure of the flesh as well; needed to know what those curls felt like tangled in his grasp. Sam knew he would give anything to have his muscular biceps on either side of his head, holding his body up as he-
“We’ve got one last song for you tonight Mirador! Thank you for coming out, can I get some fucking noise one last time for Archer!?” And just like that, Sam’s train of thought is completely derailed by the lead singer’s words and the eruption of cheers around him. “We got one more song for you tonight, and then we're doing shots at the barrrrrr!” The bar. I can find him after the show and- and what, Sam? Watch him do shots with his “bandmate”. I should just leave.
The second the thought crosses his mind, his rockstar seems to finally notice him in the audience, his eyes locking on Sam’s as an exhilarated grin overtakes his features, freezing Sam in his spot. When the bassist starts them off, followed shortly by the drums as well as both him and the other guitarist, his rockstar’s eyes stay trained on Sam. When their frontman takes the microphone to sing, trying to catch the guitarist’s eye, he still refused to look away and Sam wasn’t about to be the one to break their eye contact. Even if he wanted to, he knew that he physically couldn’t tear his eyes from the other man. It was as if a spell had been put over him, and in that moment, Sam felt like they were the only two people in the room.
Even though his rockstar had already done the backup vocals for every other song, Sam can’t help but feel a rush of excitement as the other man makes his way over to his microphone, his stare still locked on Sam.
“I was made for lovin’ you, baby
You were made for lovin’ me.
And I can’t get enough of you, baby
Can you get enough of me?”
Sam’s eyes don’t even need to leave him to see the look the twins exchange, no doubt having followed the musician’s line of sight straight back to their brother. But he can’t care enough to think about the teasing he knew he would endure later; all he could think, feel, smell, even fucking taste was his rockstar. Fuck the chemistry he had with the lead singer, the other man was looking at Sam like he wanted to eat him alive the second he got off that stage. With each passing minute neither look away until finally, the other man takes a moment to glance down at his guitar for the brief solo, unintentionally poking his tongue out between his teeth in concentration.
The moment it ends, his eyes are back on Sam, as if he was physically drawn to him. Losing all concept of time and space, Sam is surprised when the music fades to nothing and is replaced by cheers and applause around him, ripping himself back to reality abruptly. “Goodnight Mirador, we have been Archer!” Sam’s rockstar takes one last look at him before making his way off the stage and being swept up into an excited celebration with the rest of the band, and it doesn't take long for the crowd around them to dissipate as people refill their drinks and go back to their conversations.
“Alright Sam, I think Jake and I are gonna head over to the Caravel, wanna join us?” Mischief glimmers behind Josh’s eyes as he asks, surely knowing what Sam’s answer would be yet wanting to hear it for himself.
“Actually, I think I’m gonna stick around here for a while, maybe get another drink.”
“Hmmmm, this is very out of character for you, Sammy boy.” Slinging his arm around Sam’s shoulders, Jake tries to keep the amused grin from his face, but the corners of his lips give him away as they twitch in protest. “Could it have anything to do with a certain guitarist?”
“No.” Fuck. Feeling his cheeks burn, Sam only prayed that it was still dim enough in the bar to hide it from his brothers. “Maybe I’m just trying to do what I moved here for; y’know, get out there and have a little fun. Why do you care anyway?”
“Awww don’t get butthurt, Sammy. It’s ok to have a crush.”
Shoving Jake’s arm off himself, Sam can’t help but roll his eyes at the words, annoyance flaring in his chest at his brothers’ teasing. “Fuck off.”
“You know we mean nothing by it. Just stay safe, call the apartment to let us know where you are at the end of the night, and try not to get killed. And for the love of god, wear protection.” A serious sadness flashes behind Josh’s eyes, breaking Sam’s heart ever so slightly, and he tries to push the thought to the back of his mind quickly.
“I will, promise.” Realizing that even though his words were meant to ease his brothers’ anxieties, they also still implied something else that sends a new wave of heated embarrassment to his cheeks. “I- I mean, not like I intend to- with- with anyone. I- I don’t know, we’ll see where the night takes me.” Can they please just leave, already? Hearing a rowdy set of cheers erupt from the bar, Sam glances over to see his rockstar and the rest of his band “toasting”, each holding a lime with a sprinkle of salt on the back of one hand, and a shot of what Sam assumed to be tequila in the other.
“Right. Have fun, Sammy.” As the twins turn to leave him, Sam hears Jake whisper something under his breath, just loud enough for Sam to hear it. “Lord knows he deserves it.”
Jesus Christ. Alright, forget them, just- just what, Sam? Go up to him and flirt with him in front of his entire band? What do you even want to happen? Sam’s question is answered almost immediately as he watches his rockstar recover from his shot, barely wincing and sticking his tongue out with a grin at the bite of the alcohol. Anything. I want anything to happen with him.
Danny didn’t even know how to begin to describe how he had felt on that stage. If he was being honest, he didn’t remember most of it, the rush of pure adrenaline coursing through his body wiping his mind clean. Even if he couldn’t remember their performance, he knew they had done good- maybe even great by the volume of the crowd’s applause and the excitment of his bandmates. It- it was like the music- the sound, was coming straight from me. I could feel it everywhere- pounding in my ears, vibrating through the strings and numbing my fingertips, the pulse of it on the floor. It was incredible.
The second he had stepped off that stage, he felt as if his senses had all been ripped back, no longer needing to focus on his instrument alone. And although he couldn’t help that twinge of anxiety in the back of his mind telling him he needed to look for Sam, he chooses to ignore it and lets Dave drag him to the bar with the others. “Five shots of tequila, on me!”
“Why so generous, huh? What happened to being ‘dirt poor’, David, hm?” Speaking over the cheers from his bandmates, Danny grins at Dave, his tone full of nothing but amusement.
“That was before the gig, now it’s after! Do we not deserve a celebratory shot, Daniel?”
Raising his hands in defeat, Danny shrugs, moving closer to their group as a bartender sets down their shots alongside a bowl of lime slices and a saltshaker. “As long as you’re actually paying.” Grabbing a slice and licking the back of his hand before shaking salt onto the wet skin, Danny takes the shot glass in his other hand, trying to keep it from spilling in the increasingly populated bar.
“To our first gig.” Raising their shots, each member repeats Dave’s words before clinking their glasses together and tapping them on the bar top. Licking the salt, Danny downs the tequila before shoving the lime in his mouth, immediately feeling the heat of the alcohol run down his throat. Trying to keep a straight face, Danny sticks his tongue out, the humid air somehow “cooling” the lingering burn. “Gentlemen, you’re all officially off the clock. Go enjoy the rest of your night. But don’t enjoy it so much you miss practice tomorrow afternoon.”
As the others split off, Dave stays at Danny’s side, draping his arm around his shoulder comfortably. “So, Daniel. What do you think you’ll do with the rest of tonight?”
Find that guy, Sam. If he’s even still here. What if he hated the band and decided to leave before I saw him again? “Dunno. Maybe stick around you if that’s cool.”
“No can-do, Danno. I have a hot date to get to.” Something glimmers behind Dave’s eye, and Danny can’t help but feel a twinge of amusement, knowing his friend was up to no good. “Besides, it looks like you’ve got a shadow.” Following Dave’s small gesture to something behind Danny, he casually glances behind himself until his eyes finally land on Sam about 15 feet from them, seemingly very interested in the bar top in front of him. “Go get, ‘em tiger.”
Before Danny can respond, Dave slaps him on the back encouragingly before leaving in a hurry, making his way through the crowd in an impressive amount of time until he finally disappears within the sea of heads. Fuck. What do I do? Do I look over at him? Do I go talk to him? Should I wait for him to come to me? He came up to me the first time, it’s only fair that I do it this time. Taking a deep breath, Danny turns around, forcing himself to move even as his mind spirals. Slipping into the vacant space beside Sam, Danny is instantly consumed by his presence alone, his mind full of nothing but him.
“You stayed for the show.” Clearly surprising the other man, Danny offers him a small smile as his eyes go wide momentarily, like he hadn’t expected him to see him, let alone come up to talk.
“Oh- uh, yeah. Had to see if your band was shit or not.” Snorting at his response, Danny sees Sam’s instant regret melt away slowly, relaxing against the bar comfortably.
“And were we?”
“No.” An air of awe hangs in his tone, causing a light blush to settle on Danny’s cheeks. “You guys were amazing- you were amazing. Where’d you learn to play like that?”
“Dad taught me acoustic growing up, then I got myself an electric one and figured it out as I went.”
“That’s so cool.” As admiration takes over Sam’s face, glimmering behind his eyes and lighting up his smile, Danny can’t ignore the warmth that blooms in his chest. “So uh, I never got your name.”
“It’s Danny; Danny Wagner,” Extending his hand, anxiety spikes in his chest as Sam’s skin meets his, worried that his hands would be uncomfortably sweaty after their set in the humid bar. Fortunately for him, if Sam had felt how clammy he feared his skin would be, he doesn’t show it, only offering Danny a small smile at their “official” introduction. “Nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure is mine, Mr. Wagner.” Overplaying his actions, Sam’s free hand comes to rest on his chest, batting his eyelashes up at the other man before dropping his act. Focusing on that lopsided grin Danny was becoming very fond of seeing, he tries not to read too much into the fact that Sam still hadn’t dropped his hand. “So uh, do you maybe want to… I don’t know…”
He wants to leave but is too nervous to suggest it- how cute. “It is getting a bit crowded in here. Plus, I’d like to have a conversation with you where I don’t have to shout over the music.” With a gentle smile, Danny offers Sam’s hand a light squeeze, seeming to cause his anxieties to screech to a halt. “We could go to another bar, or one of our places. Think it’s too late for any restaurants to be open.”
Although it was too dim to be sure, Danny could swear that Sam’s cheeks went bright pink at the suggestion of going back to one of their homes, watching as the other man swallows hard before trying to match his smile. “I’m currently crashing on my brother’s couch right now so…”
“My place it is.” Still sensing the other man’s nerves, Danny is filled with fear momentarily that he was making Sam feel forced into going back to his place. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Sam uncomfortable. “You sure? We don’t have to.”
“Mhm. Can I use your phone to call my brothers, let them know that I’m at yours for at least a little bit?”
“Course you can. You drive here?”
“Taxi. We knew that none of us would be sober enough to drive home. Is your place far?”
Ever so slightly shifting his fingers so that they intertwine with Sam’s, Danny offers him another small smile as he tries to remember exactly where he had left his guitar and clothes backstage, wanting to leave as soon as possible. “Na, it’s about a five-minute walk if you’re alright with that.”
“Lead the way, Danny.” Needing no other persuasion, Danny barely catches the grin flash across Sam’s face before he all but drags him through the sea of people. He doesn’t stop their path until they’re fully backstage, doing his best to collect his things without getting in the way of the other bands bustling around the space. Deciding to give the shirt back to Dave the next day, Danny grabs his t-shirt and flannel with one hand as the other finds the handle of his guitar case, trying not to be too disappointed by the fact that both his hands were now full.
But before he can get too upset, Sam’s slender fingers circle his wrist as they weave back through the crowd and towards the exit, his touch sending electricity coursing through his veins. The freshness of the cool night air is almost too much for his lungs as they finally make their way onto the street, but he takes a deep breath anyway, using the burn as a distraction from his growing stream of worries. What is he expecting from this? What does he want from this night, from me?
Unfortunately for Danny, their walk back to his place is slightly awkward as they remain silent, neither knowing what to say to fill the “quiet” of the city night. After what felt like ages, they finally arrive at Danny’s apartment complex, and with every passing flight of stairs up to his floor, he feels as if his stomach was doing somersaults as he tries to remember how clean the main areas of the apartment were. With five musicians who all worked long hours during the day and filled their nights with practice, it was common that their living room looked as if a tornado had blown through it.
Moving his shirts to sandwich them between his arm and ribs, Danny unlocks the door, and relief floods him at the sight. The apartment was still a mess, and Danny felt that undeniable tinge of embarrassment as Sam follows him in, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. There were only a few empty beer and liquor bottles scattered around the living room and kitchen, but the couches and floors were mostly free of their many discarded attempts at gig outfits. “Sorry about the mess, phone is in the kitchen, I’m gonna go put my guitar away. My room’s the one straight down at the end of the hall to the left, right across from the bathroom.”
Unable to decipher the small smile that Sam offers him before turning to find the phone, Danny does all he can to keep himself from sprinting down to his room, even more worried about the state it was in than he had been about the shared area. As soon as he plugs in the old Christmas lights strung around the ceiling and sets his guitar case down, Danny darts around the room as quietly as possible, finding every dirty piece of laundry he had thrown on the floor or his bed in laziness or exhaustion and chucking them into his hamper. He barely has enough time to straighten the last of his room out before the floorboards creak mere feet from his door, and Danny whips around with what he hoped was a cool smile to see Sam standing in the doorway, his eyes sweeping over every inch of the space.
He's not- he isn’t saying anything. Is it bad? Does he not like it? He follows Sam’s eyes carefully as they roam over the multitude of band posters and paraphernalia covering the walls, over to his overflowing vinyl collection, and finally stop on his acoustic and spare electric guitar hanging by his door. “This is- it’s- so cool. My room’s never been this… personal. Not even when I actually had one.”
“You like it?” Hope flares in Danny’s chest momentarily, and he can’t help but blush at his apparent need for approval from the other man, only hoping that Sam hadn’t noticed it yet.
“I love it.” Wandering over to the vinyl's, Sam begins flipping through them and Danny’s breath catches in his throat watching those slender fingers carefully dance across the thick paper. Suddenly, Sam’s eyebrows shoot up as he stops, looking over to Danny with amused surprise clear on his face. “Didn’t peg you as the kind of guy that’d listen to Neil Young.” Flipping away from Harvest, Sam’s smile only grows when he sees American Fool. “And John Cougar. I mean the KISS, Metallica, Guns N’ Roses and all that makes sense, but country music? You?”
“Folk- folk rock; I don’t do country music. And John Cougar is rock, just not hard rock. Just because I’m in a ‘hard’ rock band doesn’t mean I can’t branch out.” Matching Sam’s smile, Danny closes the distance between them as Sam resumes his flipping.
After a few seconds, Sam pauses again, tilting the album cover so that Danny could see it. “What’s this one? Never heard of them before.”
Fuck. Ok, yeah that one is technically kind of “country”, but not in the way he’d assume. “That’s uh- Our Mother the Mountain, Townes Van Zandt. It’s- ok that one is kind of bluesy folk/country.” Seeing the smug grin already twisting Sam’s lips, Danny rushes to continue. “But it isn’t like mainstream country, not like Dolly Parton or Willie Nelson… which are both bad examples because I like them too- anyway-” What now? What happens next? “Do you uh- what do you want to do?” As hard as he tries, Danny was sure that his nerves had seeped into his tone, trying to silence the anxieties plaguing his mind that he was being too forward or assuming too much.
Saying nothing, Sam saunters over to Danny’s bed, plopping down onto the edge of it before patting the comforter beside him. “To talk. If that’s alright.”
“Yeah, yeah of course it is.” Awkwardly placing himself at Sam’s side, Danny feels every muscle in his body tense, unsure on how physically close he should be for whatever conversation the other man wanted to have. “Talk about what?”
“Just talk.” Moving his hands behind him to lean back, Danny relaxes ever so slightly at Sam’s comforting smile and calm demeanor, figuring that if it was a bad conversation, Sam wouldn’t be so laid-back. “I like to get to know guys before we do anything, I hope that’s not a problem.”
Feeling his cheeks heat, Danny’s eyes shoot up to Sam’s, completely entranced by the mischievous glimmer behind them that seemed to beacon him in. “No- yeah, no that’s not a problem.” Ok, take that need to rip his clothes off right now and just- just turn it into something else, Danny. Don’t make him uncomfortable. “Want me to put some music on? I have some wine somewhere, but it’s probably cheap. I got some grass if you smoke.”
“Nothing else?” Does he think I use other drugs? That I’m just another coked-up rocker?
“Nope. I don’t trust anything else. Weed’s a natural plant, and the only negative side affects I’ll probably ever experience is from smoking, but I already smoke cigarettes so.” Unsure on if Sam had given an answer to his offer, Danny glances around his room just in case, looking for the ash tray that he knew had most of a joint in it. “Have you smoked before?”
“My brothers let me join them the day I turned 15.” Sam almost laughs the words out, and Danny takes that as a sign that it was safe to assume he would be fine grabbing the joint. Leaving Sam momentarily, Danny finds the ash tray on his dresser, thankful that he had left a lighter right next to it.
Sitting back down slightly closer to Sam, Danny reaches behind himself to crack the window open before setting in on lighting the twisted paper at the end. “You the youngest?” Finally seeing the tip go red, Danny takes a long drag, letting the smoke settle in his lungs, sending the tiniest waves of relaxation through his body.
“Yup. My brothers are the oldest, twins, then I have an older sister too. What about you, you got any siblings?” Passing the joint to Sam, Danny’s eyes wander to his lips, watching as the other man brings the filter up to meet them.
“Yeah, little sister. She’s off at Harvard studying law, making something of her life and all that.”
“Your parents don’t approve of you being a rockstar?”
Trying not to scoff at his words, Danny takes another hit, thankful that he had finally begun to feel his first hit settle into his bones. “I don’t know if I’d call myself a ‘rockstar’, Sammy. Not yet at least. And- and no, but also yes? They thought it was cute when I played guitar in my middle and high school bands, but then when Senior year rolled around and I didn’t have a ‘backup plan’, they found out I had no intention of going to college and kind of freaked out. They didn’t directly say that our band wasn’t good enough to actually ‘make it’, but I know that’s how they felt.” Realizing how heavy their conversation had become because of his words, Danny takes another drag from the joint, trying not to meet Sam’s eyes as he passes it to him again.
“That’s why you came to LA.” His words come off as a statement rather than a question, causing Danny to finally tear his gaze back up to Sam’s.
“Yeah. We knew that if we stayed in Michigan, we wouldn’t go anywhere. Figured that LA would be the best place to finally get noticed.” Clearing his throat in hopes of at least breaking the silence that hung heavy in the air, Danny forces a smile onto his face. “Isn’t as good of a story as moving here for ‘sex, drugs, or rock and roll’ though. Gotta preserve my stage image, y’know.”
“I like this Danny better.” Sam’s words are earnest, and Danny feels a pang in his chest from the way the other man was looking at him. There was no judgement, no disappointment like Danny worried there would be. Instead, Sam’s eyes shone with kindness and understanding, a soft comfort deep within his gaze that truly put Danny at ease.
“What about you? I’ve talked so much about myself, now it’s your turn. You really move here to try the city life, or did you need to escape the Midwest too?”
Absentmindedly offering the joint back to Danny, Sam picks at the throw blanket covering the bed. “Both I guess. Life wasn’t bad back in Michigan; my family was accepting that I wanted to major in Theology even though it’s not exactly a ‘safe’ choice, didn’t charge me rent or anything. I just knew I wanted to see more, experience more, y’know? And I missed my brothers, but don’t tell them I said that.”
Danny takes one last drag before turning the filter towards Sam, holding it out for him to do the same. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.” Instead of taking the joint from Danny, Sam makes direct eye contact with him before leaning in, his lips brushing Danny’s fingertips as he holds it, trying to keep his jaw from dropping at the sight before him. Sam’s time at Mirador had slightly frizzed his waves, and the weed coursing through him left his eyes droopy and tired, a lazy smile playing across his lips as he pulls away, exhaling the smoke. He is absolutely gorgeous.
For a moment, Sam drops his defenses, allowing his eyes to drift back to Danny’s lips as the thought of kissing him right then and there nearly consumes his mind. Don’t let your heart get broken again, Sam. You need- you need to be sure he isn’t some rocker asshole that’s just playing vulnerable to get in your pants. Forcing himself off the bed suddenly, Sam strolls over to his vinyl collection, his plan slowly forming in his head as he flips through the records. “Mind if we put something on?”
“No- uh, that’s fine.” He sounds hesitant, nervous… Sam focuses on his task completely, not allowing himself even one glance over at the other man even as he got up to put the ashtray aside, stretching to reach it and causing his tight shirt to ride up ever so slightly, exposing the curve of his- Fuck. Focus, focus. Find a fucking album to play. Wait, what was that one? Flipping back to the previous LP to find Our Mother the Mountain, Sam knew he just had to hear this “not country” music Danny seemed to like so much.
“I guess I’ll be the judge if it’s just country music or ‘bluesy/folk country’.” Lowering the needle, Sam glances over at Danny with a small grin as the first few notes play. When the singer’s voice croons through the speaker, Sam almost can’t contain his grin, his cheeks already beginning to feel sore. I really have been smiling a lot tonight. It’s just the weed, I always get smiley and giggly. Or- or it’s because of him. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is country music, Danny.”
Sam catches the other man roll his eyes before his own gaze gravitates to Danny’s lips, his grin shining bright even in the dim lighting. “This song’s a bad example.”
“Right. I didn’t say it was bad, just that it was country.” Beginning to sway to the music, an idea slowly forms in Sam’s head, needing a few seconds to process it in his inebriated state until he finally gets his body to move. Extending his hand towards Danny, he watches as the other man’s confusion flits across his relaxed expression. “Dance with me.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” Sam closes the distance between them, his laugh resembling more of a giggle as he nearly collides with the bed. “I said dance with me. Please?”
“I’m a bad dancer.”
“So am I.”
“I’m high.”
“So am I.” Grasping his hands, he halfheartedly tries to encourage Danny to stand, fearing that it came off as desperate pleas. “No one else will see, if that’s what you’re worried about. I didn’t get to dance with you at the bar, so technically you owe me.”
“Oh, I do now?” Danny’s eyebrows shoot up as a surprised smile finds his lips, finally allowing Sam to pull him up and towards what little empty space they had. “One, I was the one playing, so I couldn’t have danced with you, and two, this might not be the best album for dancing like you would at a bar, Sammy.”
“And what if I just wanted this?” Moving Danny’s hands to his waist before dragging his own up the exposed expanse of Danny’s arms, they stop on his shoulders, pulling him towards himself slightly. Looking up at him through his lashes, Sam waits with bated breath for Danny’s response, noticing the freckles dotting his nose and cheeks for the first time thanks to their proximity. Cute.
“That’s alright too.”
A wave of calm passes over Sam as he relaxes in Danny’s arms, gently swaying to the song and feeling as if the music itself was flowing through his body. “What’s this one called?”
“Be Here to Love Me.” Before Sam knows it, Danny begins humming to the lyrics, seeming to find his place as he quietly sings along.
“But who cares what the night watchmen say?
The stage has been set for the play.
So just hold me and tell me you’ll be here to love me today.”
With his lips were parted ever so slightly as he looks up at him in admiration, Sam feels his cheeks heat, realizing that their noses were mere inches from the other. It would be so easy to just lean forward and- “You’re full of surprises tonight, aren’t you? You got a beautiful voice, you know?”
“Stop- you don’t- thank you, Sammy.” Sam had never believed in love at first sight, but when Danny melts under the praise, his cheeks burning bright red as a shy smile twists his lips, he knew that he had found the closest thing to it. With Danny, he felt safe. He didn’t know how else to describe it other than that. Sam had been so reluctant to give into his own wants because he feared that Danny’s “soft interior” had been an act, just something to get into his pants. Too many guys had already pulled that with Sam, and he knew very well by now what to look out for. But Danny, he was different. Sure, on stage he was just like every other Rockstar Sex God, but alone with Sam, he was simply a shy, kind soul who stood before Sam truly embarrassed over the compliment on his musical abilities.
“Will you- will you kiss me, Danny?” The words leave his mouth before he can even process the thought, but he feels no regret as a small smile breaks through Danny’s surprise and he closes the distance between their lips. Electricity crackles on Sam’s skin at every point of contact with the other man, sending fireworks shooting through his body and making him feel lighter than air. But at the same time, Danny’s touch grounded him to the moment, to him.
One of his hands had quickly found the small of Sam’s back, pulling him into himself until their fronts are pressed firmly against the other, and Sam’s heartrate skyrockets when he feels the growing tent in Danny’s jeans ever so slightly grind into his own. With Danny’s other hand cupping his jaw and tilting his face upwards, Sam melts into his touch, deepening their kiss as the other man gently licks across his bottom lip. The bite that follows takes Sam by surprise, and he can’t prevent the quiet moan that escapes him, his hips involuntarily bucking forward to mix his pain and pleasure.
Tangling his fingers in Danny’s frizzed out curls, Sam gives them a quick tug at the roots, and he doesn't miss the small groan that follows. The energy between them becomes urgent, almost needy as Danny’s tongue slips in between Sam’s lips, desperately licking into his mouth as if he were a starved man. Before Sam knows it, Danny's backing him towards his bed slowly, his guidance gentle and soft despite how Sam knew he must be feeling. He's giving me an ‘out’. He's letting me know that I can easily stop this if I want. Just before the backs of Sam’s knees hit the edge of the mattress, Danny stops, and he removes his lips from Sam’s only to work his way down to the open expanse of his neck. Weaving his hands into his waves, Danny repeats Sam’s earlier motions as he gives a handful of his hair a light yank, and Sam could feel the other man smile against his skin.
Untangling his fingers, Danny moves his hands down Sam’s sides until they find the hem of his blouse, toying with the fabric between his fingertips as he removes his lips from Sam’s neck. “Can I take this off?”
“Only if yours comes off too.”
Grinning wolfishly at him, Danny’s eyes don’t leave Sam’s as he pulls the tight fabric up and over his head, discarding it on the floor without even a second glance. For a moment, Sam entirely forgets just how he got Danny to shed his top as his eyes rake over the other man’s body. If he had been able to will his body to move, his hands would have immediately found those broad shoulders, would have slowly dragged his hands across his chest, following that delicate trail of hair until- “You forget our agreement, Sammy?”
Danny’s voice rips Sam back into the moment, his eyes darting up to the other man’s face as he realizes Danny knew exactly what he was thinking about. Feeling his cheeks heat, Sam sweeps through his mind as fast as he can for any comeback. “You asked if you could take my shirt off, remember? You never asked me to take it off.”
Cocking an eyebrow at him, Danny closes the space between them, his hands instantly finding the silk as something Sam can’t quite place glimmers behind his eyes. The second his top is gone, Danny finds Sam’s bare sides, pulling him flush against him as their lips meet once more. Sam doesn't even feel Danny’s hand drifting back up into his hair, too distracted by each sharp bite and soft, soothing swipe of Danny’s tongue against his bottom lip until the other man pulls hard enough to just barely break their kiss. “Didn’t expect you to be such a brat, but it makes sense now.”
Letting out a shallow gasp at his words and the pain spiking through his scalp, he recovers quickly, needing to see what else he could say to provoke the other man into getting what they both wanted. Even with his head tilted back, Sam forces his eyes to Danny’s, a mischievous smile playing across his lips. “Is that gonna be a problem?”
“No.” Danny’s grip loosens, and Sam takes the opportunity to lean closer to him, his gaze alternating between the other man’s lips and eyes.
“Do you have protection?”
“Yeah.”
“Then why don’t you go on and fuck me already?”
“Why don’t you shut the fuck up and be patient?” Danny’s tone is low and sultry, surprising Sam when his hand finds his neck, applying the slightest amount of pressure as he locks his eyes on Sam’s.
“Maybe I would if you didn’t take so goddamn long.” Sam practically pants the words out, fearing that Danny would mistake his anticipatory shivers as those of fear. But beneath the steeled expression on his face, Danny’s eyes were still just as soft and warm as they had been when they were dancing. Before he knows it, Danny’s hands leave Sam’s skin and find the button of his jeans, his expression unfaltering.
“Take these off.” Although he was embarrassed to admit it, the second the words leave Danny’s mouth, Sam kicks off his shoes, trying not to seem too eager as he pulls his jeans off. “Get on the bed.”
Positioning himself in the center of the bed, Sam props himself up on his elbows as he looks up at Danny, feeling too-exposed in just his briefs. “Fucking finally.”
Just as he had begun to get his hopes up, Danny crushes them, offering Sam a sly smirk and leaving him to retrieve what appeared to be a square of fabric. “Maybe this will keep you quiet.” Sam has mere seconds to catch a glimpse of it, realizing that it in fact a grey handkerchief before Danny folds it into a strip, pressing it against Sam’s lips until he has no choice but to open his mouth. His mind goes blank as he locks his eyes on Danny’s concentrated expression, the other man focused on tying it behind his head, careful not to catch or pull any stray hairs. Danny’s lips find the soft skin of Sam’s neck as soon as the handkerchief is secure, slotting himself between his legs and grinding his hips into Sam’s.
Sam doesn’t even know what he was trying to say as a moan leaves his lips, his words muffled by the fabric between his teeth. At the sound, Danny lightly nips his skin, soothing it with his tongue quickly before setting in on working a mark onto his neck. As his mouth moves up, towards his jaw, Sam’s eyes nearly roll back when Danny finds an especially sensitive spot. Paired with the steady pace of Danny’s hips pleasure courses through him, but it’s not long before Sam feels frustration begin to take seed within him. I just- need him to fuck me. I can’t take this any longer.
Attempting to make another snippy comment about how long he was taking, it comes off more as a needy whine, catching Danny’s attention and causing him to lean back. The second Danny’s eyes meet his, Sam focuses all the words he wanted to say into his pleading gaze, not caring if it made him look pathetic. For a moment, he can’t tell if Danny would give in yet as the other man brings his hand up to Sam’s jaw, dragging the pad of his thumb across his bottom lip with an unreadable expression. “Do you want me to, what did you say again? ‘Go on and fuck you already’?”
Nodding frantically, Sam’s embarrassment is forgotten almost instantly at Danny’s wolfish grin, and the other man slowly grinds his hips down one last time before leaving Sam to close his door. His confusion only lasts a moment before Danny turns towards his dresser, quickly finding a condom and bottle of lube. Tossing them at Sam’s side, Danny sheds his boots and jeans before climbing back onto the bed, kneeling between his legs as he pulls all but his bangs back into a loose bun at the crown of his head. As the other man’s hands begin to wander up, over his waistband and continuing to his sides, Sam was sure that Danny could hear how loud his heart was beating, pounding in his skull with anticipation.
“Tap me three times if you want me to stop, ok?” His eyes find Sam’s, and even through the glaze of his high, Danny’s still shone with a deep seriousness at his words, waiting for Sam to respond. Offering him a small nod and a light squeeze to his forearm hoping that it came off as reassuring, Sam melts at the expression of care on Danny’s face, somehow further relaxing into the mattress. Lowering his body again to whisper his words into Sam’s ear, Sam fights the urge to squirm underneath him as a stray curl tickles his cheek, Danny’s warm breath fanning across his skin and sending shivers down his spine. “You look so good like this.”
Sam lets out another whine, and it slowly transforms into a deep groan as he bucks his hips up to meet Danny’s. His skin is set alight with a raging fire when Danny drags his hands down Sam’s sides, his lips trailing across his neck and down to his chest before moving to his stomach. Toying with the edge of his waistband, Danny meets Sam’s eyes, his expression full of pure want, yet still serious and full of care nonetheless. “Can I take these off?”
Once again, Sam responds with a sharp nod, his anticipation consuming his mind entirely. As the other man slowly pulls his briefs off, quickly finding his place between Sam’s legs, his right hand comes up to grip Sam’s thigh. Moving his left arm over Sam’s leg, Danny’s forearm rests gently on the arch of his hip bone, grasping Sam in his hand. Pumping up and down a few times, the friction causes Sam to wince, and Danny finally brings his lips to circle his tip delicately. Even though his head had fallen back to rest on the pillow, his eyes barely open and looking up at the posters on the ceiling above him, Sam could still feel Danny’s gaze trained on him as he ever so slightly bobs his head up and down.
The movement is quick, the feeling fleeting before Danny removes his mouth again, but it’s enough to make Sam’s back arch off the bed, eliciting a breathy moan that transforms into a whine at the loss of contact. Before he knows it, Danny completely sinks down onto him, and the sound that leaves Sam’s mouth is filthy as his eyes roll to the back of his head. When Danny sets a steady pace, Sam’s hands find his hair, doing his best not to ruin the bun as he grasps at the curls. Faintly recognizing the sound of Danny uncapping the lube, he feels every muscle in his body tense with exhilaration at what he guessed was to come. Circling Sam’s entrance with a fingertip, Danny keeps his pace steady as his mouth moves up and down before slowly pressing his middle finger into him.
Thankful that his dignity had left him long ago and that the handkerchief muffled the volume of his moan, Sam is overcome with pleasure, his mind blank and body numb from it as Danny’s mouth and hand move in synchronicity. Danny adds a second finger, bringing a whimper from Sam as he fears he would finish too fast if the other man didn’t pick his pace up. After a few minutes, each one lasting an eternity to Sam as he writhes on the bed grasping onto anything that would help him last longer, Danny’s pointer finger joins the other two on his next thrust. Ripping Danny’s head away, Sam feels a slight tinge of guilt at his hiss of pain, having used his grip in the other man’s hair to take himself out of his mouth.
“Too much?” Danny removes his fingers, clearly misunderstanding the reason for Sam’s intervention. Roughly shaking his head, Sam arches his back, desperately trying to press himself back down onto Danny’s fingers. Quickly understanding exactly what Sam wanted, Danny leans back, wiping his hand on the blanket beneath them before shedding his own boxers. Well- now I know why he took so long with prep- Jesus fuck. Watching intently as Danny rolls the condom on, Sam feels Danny’s eyes trained directly on him, too far gone to care about getting “caught” staring. Letting out a quiet groan at the contact as he spreads the lube over his dick, Danny places his left hand just above Sam’s shoulder, holding himself up as he presses his tip against Sam’s entrance.
Finally meeting Danny’s eyes, his heart skips a beat as Sam takes in his tender gaze, overcome with a need so strong that he didn’t know what to do with himself. Resting his hands on Danny’s hips, he offers a gentle, almost desperate squeeze, trying to pull his body closer. Sam barely has time to catch the way Danny’s mouth falls open ever so slightly before his own eyes roll back, lost within his satisfaction of finally getting what he wanted. Whimpering as Danny buries himself completely in him, Sam’s back arches off the bed, pressing his now-neglected dick between their stomachs for any relief. To Sam’s dismay, Danny quickly pushes his hips back down to the bed, his thrusts still steady and inching Sam towards his high.
But before he can complain at the loss of contact, Danny’s hand wraps around Sam’s cock, covered in lube and pumping in time with his hips. He knew he was done for when Danny drops to his elbow, bracing himself against the mattress beside Sam’s head as his lips find the sensitive skin of his neck. With his hands splaying across the expanse of Danny’s broad shoulders, Sam digs his nails into the muscle, his last-ditch effort at keeping himself from reaching his tipping point. Danny sinks his teeth into the top of Sam’s shoulder in retaliation, his thrusts becoming faster and rougher as he works marks onto his skin. If he’s the reason I’m forced to wear turtlenecks for the next week, I'm gonna be so mad.
“You feel so good, baby.” The words are enough to make Sam forget all previous concern of being left with too visible hickeys, and he can’t push away the feeling growing within him any longer as he finally topples over the edge, his release coating his stomach with a pornographic moan. Despite the overstimulation creeping into his body, Sam holds on for just a few moments longer, feeling the other man’s pace beginning to falter as he too neared his high. It only takes a few more thrusts for Danny’s mouth to fall open, his eyes squeezing shut as he tries to carry himself through it.
Danny’s hand relaxes around Sam, drifting lazily to his hip as his forehead drops to rest on Sam’s shoulder. After taking a few deep breaths, Danny pulls himself from Sam with a hiss before wiping his hand on the blanket and untying the handkerchief. He places a gentle kiss to Sam’s lips, and the way that Danny looks down at him in the moments following steals Sam’s breath entirely. Although he was still bewildered at Danny’s continuing care, it was that one look that kept Sam from feeling nervous even as the other man got up.
“Do you want to go clean up first, Sammy?” Despite the fact that he was putting the lube away and discarding their condom, Danny’s tone was casually comfortable, as if they hadn’t done what they just did.
“Uh no, it’s ok. I need a minute.”
“That’s alright.” Grabbing his boxers, Danny finds Sam’s side again, offering his thigh a gentle squeeze. “You ok? Do you need anything?”
Sam can’t help the smile that finds his lips, waving Danny away to further “prove” that it was ok for him to go. “No, no. It’s alright.”
Putting his boxers back on, Danny offers Sam one last small, playful smile, and it doesn’t take long for Sam to realize just why it carried a hint of amusement. “Don’t go anywhere.” Snorting at the stupid joke, Sam lets himself completely relax onto the bed and he closes his eyes as the door creaks open and closed. Allowing himself a few more deep breaths, Sam rips his eyes open again, propping himself up on his elbows as he takes in his surroundings. Despite the slight spike of panic in his chest remembering just who and what Danny was, he pushes the thoughts to the side, knowing that his rockstar truly was different. This wouldn’t be some one-night stand; no, Danny had shown him too much care for it to be nothing more than a quick fuck. Or at least he hoped so.
Sam forces himself to move despite the exhaustion riddling his body, and he uses the blanket below him to wipe what he can from his stomach. Gotta remember to shower tomorrow morning. I’m too tired to care right now and’ll get more in the bathroom in a minute. Realizing that Danny could walk back in at any moment, Sam gets up, finding his briefs and slipping them on quickly. Guilt flares in his chest as he looks back at the blanket, realizing just how large of a mess they had made of it, and he carefully folds it up just in time for the door to creak open again.
Sam feels heat rush to his cheeks as he turns towards Danny, the blanket in hand as he looks everywhere except Danny’s eyes. “We uh- got a little on the blanket...”
Only laughing in response, Danny closes the distance between them to take the fabric, throwing it into a hamper with barely a glance over. “Don’t worry about it, that’s why it’s there.”
What? “So, you knew you’d go home with someone tonight?” Please say no.
“A man can hope.”
Unable to help the disappointment welling up in the pit of his stomach, Sam only offers him a small nod, his eyes to the floor. “Do you have a shirt I can borrow?”
“Uh, yeah. One sec.” Danny roots around in his dresser for a moment before pulling out a ball of fabric, handing it to Sam with an embarrassed look. “I swear it’s clean, I just... hadn’t gotten around to folding it yet.” Just as Sam turns to leave, Danny’s voice stops him in his tracks, and he brings his gaze back up to meet the other man’s eyes. “I was just joking by the way. I don’t keep a blanket on the bed just in case I bring someone home. To be honest, it’s only there cause sometimes I don’t like the feeling of my comforter and I need to switch to a different texture.” Letting out a nervous, sheepish laugh, Danny rubs the back of his neck, and Sam notices for the first time that he had cleaned up his bun for sleep. “This isn’t normal for me- I don’t usually take people home right after meeting them. I don’t sleep around if that’s what you’re worried about, and I'm- I'm sorry if i made you feel like that’s just what this was.”
“It’s alright, Danny.” Reaching out to gently place his hand on the other man’s shoulder, Sam offers him a soft smile. “Thank you for the clarification, though.” Unravelling the shirt to reveal a very large Pink Floyd band tee, Sam’s smile only grows as his eyes dart up to Danny. “You like them too?”
“Hell yeah, The Wall is one of my favorite albums.”
“Then I’d say that makes you a man with very good music taste.” Slipping the shirt on, Sam offers Danny a light kiss to his cheek before making his way towards the door. “I’m gonna go clean up. Where's the bathroom again?”
“Right across the hall. We should be the only ones home right now.”
Offering him a small smile and a quiet “thanks”, Sam leaves the room as quiet as he can, slipping into the bathroom quickly and bracing his back against the door after locking it. Covering his face with his hands as if there were anyone else in the room to see his lopsided grin, Sam tries to compose himself. Fuck I feel like a stupid teenager with a crush. What is it about this guy? Although he knew he would be embarrassed to admit it, Sam cleans up as fast as he can while still being thorough, eager to get back to his rockstar’s arms. Flicking the light off as he leaves, Sam finds that Danny had put on a pair of red flannel sleep pants, now busy at his bed, moving the comforter aside and rearranging the pillows to accommodate for two.
Noticing Sam as he grabbed the ashtray and lighter again, Danny offers him a smile as Sam closes the door behind them. “Wanna smoke a little before sleeping?” Making his way over to his bed again, Danny plops down on the edge of the mattress, patting the space beside him invitingly.
“Yeah, thanks.” Sam offers him a lazy smile as he joins him on the bed, watching as the other man relights the tip and takes a long drag. When Danny holds it out for Sam, he doesn’t take it, simply leaning forward until his lips brush against his fingertips and inhaling. Seeing that Danny had blown his smoke out the still cracked window, Sam does the same, realizing the room was quieter than he remembered it to be. “The music stopped.”
Taking another hit, Danny repeats his motions for Sam, smiling as his eyes remain on Sam’s lips. “I put it away. Not sure how long it was looping on the run-out groove before I stopped it.” Absentmindedly running his fingers though his hair, Sam catches a knot and winces slightly as he moves his other hand to untangle it. “Want me to braid it? So it doesn’t tangle in the night.”
“You know how to braid hair?”
Danny gives the joint to Sam alongside the ashtray, leaving him to grab a hair tie off his dresser before plopping back down onto the bed. “I have a younger sister and have been growing my hair out since I moved outta Michigan, of course I know how to braid. Turn around please.” Moving to sit crisscross in front of the other man before brushing his hair back with his free hand, Sam lets his eyes close as Danny gently combs through his hair with his fingers. Bringing the filter to his lips, Sam takes one last, long hit before extinguishing the faint glow on the ceramic in his hand. After a few seconds, Sam exhales the smoke, the comforting feeling of Danny carefully weaving his hair into a clean braid and the weed coursing through his system lulling him towards sleep.
Before he knows it, Danny offers him a light kiss on the back of his shoulder, giving the other a brief squeeze as he takes the ashtray from Sam. Leaving only to return it to his dresser and unplug the lights, Danny maneuvers around Sam to get to the side of the bed closest to the wall, slipping under the covers and holding the comforter up for him. Sam hesitates only for a moment before turning to face Danny as he lays down, using the other man’s outstretched bicep as a pillow, but still unsure on just how much contact Danny was alright with. As if he had read his mind, Danny lowers the comforter over their bodies, pulling Sam flush against him before relaxing into the mattress.
“I’d like to take you on a real date sometime, if that’s alright.”
“I’d love that, Danny.” Tilting his face upwards, Sam catches Danny’s lips, indulging himself in one last, slow kiss before burying his face into the other man’s neck with a heavy sigh. Sam all but melts against the other man, the warmth radiating from his skin only drawing him in more.
Already falling asleep, Danny’s voice rips Sam back to near consciousness, his amused tone soft in the quiet of the night. “Did I end up being worth your time?”
Although he knew Danny couldn’t see his face, a tired grin splits Sam’s lips, and he presses his body closer as he lets himself to drift towards sleep once more. “Yeah, yeah you did.”
The Sun presents a feeling of optimism and fulfillment. It represents the dawn which follows the darkest of nights.
Author’s note: wow hi!!! It’s been a minute! Life has been busy, but I have been thinking of this fic for a while. This one is entirely spontaneous and will have no posting schedule. Just as soon and I can get it written it will be out. I hope you guys enjoy :)
“I can’t fucking stand you! Matter of fact, I hate you!” You scream, your voice raw with emotion.
He lets out a laugh. “Yeah, right back at you Sugar.”
You’re boiling inside. Filled with rage, sadness, and anger. You can’t decide which emotion is the most prominent at the moment. You blink away the hot tears that have formed in your eyes. You feel the sting of them rolling down your cheeks.
“I’m fucking done. We are done. It’s over.” You say, with still a hint of anger, but at least you weren’t screaming this time.
He stares at you for a moment. Blank expression, impossible to read. You think maybe for 0.1 seconds you see a hint of sorrow in his eyes, but with him that would be impossible.
Eventually he scoffs at you. “Fine by me.”
He stays for a few moments with his eyes lingering on you.
“Get the fuck out!” You shout, while tears spill down your face.
Then he’s out the door as fast as it started. Leaving you there in a puddle of your own tears and rage.
Nothing had ever made you feel this way before. You were unsure how you would ever feel normal again. But there was one thing that you were entirely sure of- you fucking hated Jake Kiszka.
**
Teal is so tacky. It’s one of the tackiest colors to exist, you had decided. That's what you were doing at this very moment staring at a teal handbag that you would like to set on fire. It was sitting on a bar next to an equally tacky girl. You realized how insane you felt, but you needed to do something to distract your mind from the truth. Tonight was your third date with a guy named Aiden. He was fine, there was nothing wrong with him. He was attractive, ambitious, successful, and nice. But a part of you knew you were already so bored with him. You never knew how to pick a good guy. Which is why you tried your best to give Aiden a fair shake. Nonetheless, here you were sitting at a booth only thinking of a teal purse. You had decided to meet for drinks after work. You wore a hot pink blazer with a white tank turtleneck and a matching hot pink skirt, that might have been a little too short for work. You wore white tall boots, with gold jewelry. Your hair was done in loose curls and you had on a full face of makeup. This wasn’t your normal attire to work, but you knew you had a date tonight. Out of the corner of your eye you see Aiden pop in. You breathe in and prepare yourself. He’s in a nice gray suit. He always looks nice.
“Hey! So sorry I’m late. Traffic was awful.” Aiden says, reaching down to hug you.
You hug him back. “Oh no you’re fine! I just got here myself. How was your day?”
He smiles at you. “It was great actually. I had a really big pitch that I think went well for me. But I’m happier now that I’m here with you. How was your day?”
You make sure to smile at that, even if it did make you cringe a little. “Well that’s great. My day was good. Rather mundane I suppose, but work feels like that everyday.”
He chuckles. “You’re right about that. Ready for some drinks? A martini right?”
You nod your head. “Yes please.”
“Great. I’ll be right back. You look beautiful by the way.” He says with a smile before he heads over to the bar.
You take a moment to breathe in a little. Aiden was so nice. You had already decided that you would go on another date with him when he would inevitably ask later. You picked at your nails while you waited for your date and drink. You eyed the door constantly, that wasn’t a good sign. It was somewhat stuffy inside, but maybe that was in your head. You were just finding something to complain about. You had been like that for a while. Anytime a man would show interest you bounced. The truth is you were looking for someone to set your soul on fire. You craved a love so deep, that even the ocean would be jealous.
Instead you got guys like Aiden. Again, nothing wrong with him. But he didn’t ignite you. You knew who was to blame, but you hated to even think of him. So you chose to do this same routine over and over. Dating- then never speaking again. It’s not like you necessarily needed a man in your life, you were perfectly content with your life as is. But you wanted excitement again. Maybe if you gave Aiden a chance he could be that for you. Though you doubted it. You continued to eye the door. It wasn’t really busy, but every now and then someone would walk in. Mostly people in suits off to commence nefarious activities, then wake up and do it all again tomorrow. That life never spoke to you, but here you were smack dab in the middle of it. Funny how life works.
You fiddled around with your nails some more, damn you needed to get them done. You glanced up and thought your eyes were playing tricks on you.
Hair.
Then he spoke.
Immediately you felt chills run down your spine. There’s a voice you hadn’t heard in years. There’s no way. You creep your head around the corner and see four very familiar faces. Your blood runs cold and your face becomes incredibly pale. Holy shit.
You whip your head back into your booth trying to stay out of their line of sight. What were they doing here? Why were they here? What?
Just then Aiden returns and hands you your martini. He frowns at you when he sees your face. “Hey, is everything okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
You blink a few times and nod your head. “I’m um- I’m fine.”
He sits back down across from you and takes your hand. “Are you sure?”
Just then that voice rings from right behind you. Now it’s closer.
“Oh shit. Well hey Sugar.”
You turn around and Jake is standing over you with a shit eating grin plastered on his face. You’re absolutely shocked and horrified. You try to speak but nothing comes out.
“I thought I heard your voice.” He flicks his eyes over to Aiden and extends his hand. “Hi. Jake Kiszka.”
Aiden gives him a strange look, but eventually extends his hand and says “Aiden.”
Finally you are able to muster up the courage to speak. “Jake.” You say calmly. “What are you doing here?”
He smirks at you. “I could ask you the same thing, Sugar. We were out scouting bars. We just moved here and I’ve got to say, you were the last person I was expecting to see tonight.”
You furrowed your brows while your voice goes up an octave higher. “What? You just moved here? Like from Michigan?”
Then the rest of them make their way over. You see Sam, Danny, and your old friend Josh.
Aiden clears his throat, clearly sensing your tension. “How do you guys know each other?”
Jake flicks his eyes to you and gives a wide smile. “Old friends.”
Aiden huffs a little at that. “Okay. Well looks like you have some catching up to do, with your old friends. I’ll call you tomorrow? I’d love to plan something if you’re free Saturday.”
You look back over at Aiden and nod your head.
He excuses himself and slides out of the booth.
“Bye Aiden! Lovely meeting you!” Jake yells out.
Jackass.
The other three are now approaching the table.
“Holy shit!” Sam exclaims when he sees you.
“Oh, hi Sam.”
Then you’re standing up and Sam hugs you, then Danny’s hugging you. Then you see Josh.
“Hi.” He says, standing there with his arms around his back. “Long time no see.”
You are unsure of what to say to that. “Hi Josh.”
“So, can we join you or what?” Jake asks.
You let out a breath and then motion your hand for them to all sit in your booth.
Jake scoots in right next to you. Immediately you feel the need to down your whole martini so you do.
“Whew. Damn Sugar. You okay?” Jake asks, nudging you.
You nod. “Yeah. Just wasn’t expecting such a-“ You pause. “Reunion.”
Josh smiles at you. “I can tell. Well don’t fret if it’s unpleasant for you. It’s just temporary. We are here with a new label working on an album. They decided to rent a house out to us for the next few months.”
You feel bad all of a sudden. You loved Josh. You and he had been friends for years. That was until you started dating Jake. You see, you and Josh had been friends after meeting in a coffee shop in Detroit. You had grown close with all of them, but Josh was your best friend. You two were practically inseparable. You pretty much did everything together. Then, one night you and Jake hooked up and the rest was history. It was hard on Josh. But you were too enamored by Jake to quit. You both had fallen fast and hard. Taking things way too fast, but it felt euphoric. Jake was like a drug. The highs were so high. But the lows were so low. You and Jake were only together for around 10 months. It was a toxic and crazy relationship. The only thing you and Jake were ever good at was sex. To this day no one made you come as hard as he had. But Jake acted like a selfish child. You two spent more time arguing than anything else. When you had broken up you had cut off all contact with all of them. You couldn’t bear it any longer. Josh had tried to reach out to you, but you ignored it. You wanted to forget Jake had ever existed- and that meant cutting off all people who reminded you of him. Then, you had moved to Nashville and gone on with life. You hadn’t seen or spoken to any of them since the break up.
“No it’s not that it’s unpleasant at all. Just unexpected. I never pegged you guys to settle down in… Nashville.” You said, trying to give a convincing smile.
Jake chimes in. “Settle down? We aren’t necessarily doing that. It’s temporary. I fear domesticity.”
You scoff. “Yep. I know.”
Jake laughs at you. “Good one.”
Josh changes the subject. “So what are you up to these days?”
You shift your gaze to Josh. “Well nothing as exciting as you guys. I work at a marketing firm and I have a Beta fish.”
Josh smiles at you. “That does sound exciting. Marketing huh? I can totally see it.”
You nod. “Congratulations to you all by the way on your success.”
“Thank you! We’ve been trying. It’s been a while since the garage band days.” Sam says.
“Yeah. It seems as if we’ve all grown up.” You say, still trying to push back negative feelings.
“Sam, Josh, you guys wanna go get drinks?” Danny asks, obviously trying to give you and Jake a moment to speak.
They both agree and follow Danny to the bar.
“I’ll take a whiskey on the rocks!” Jake yells to them and Sam gives him a thumbs up.
Then it’s just you two alone again. You turn around to face Jake. He’s still wearing that same smirk.
“You know Sugar, I’m digging the pink. You look good.”
You try not to let those words affect you. “Thanks.” You reply flatly.
“So, Aiden?” Jake asks.
You take a sip of the other martini on the table. “What about him?”
Jake hums. “Doesn’t really scream to me your type.”
“Oh yeah? Well what is my type?” You poke.
“Me.” Jake says and grins ear to ear.
You swig the martini again. “Funny.”
“C’mon Sugar. Lighten up. We’re just two old friends catching up.”
You pinch your face up and look at him. “Oh is that what we are?”
Jake smirks at you. “Okay well you know- ex lovers, future lovers. It’s all the same.”
You roll your eyes at him. He was always so full of charm which drove you crazy.
The other three returned with drinks in hand.
“So what are we getting up to tonight? It feels just like old times now.” Sam says with a bright smile.
You start to shut that down. “Count me out unfortunately. I have to work in the morning.”
It gets a little quiet.
“Well what are you doing this weekend?” Josh asks.
“I have pilates, but other than that I guess I’m free.” You reply.
“Does Aiden know that?” Jake teases.
You roll your eyes again.
“We have a show we’re doing this weekend. Would love if you could come and see us play after all this time.” Josh adds.
You pause for a minute, contemplating your options. But you didn’t want to seem so abrasive to Josh, you really did feel bad for ghosting him the way that you did. “Yeah, that sounds fun. I’ll be there.”
Josh smiles at you. “Great.”
“We can have a pass up front for you. Then I guess maybe uh Jake could text you the details?” Sam says cautiously.
Jake chuckles. “I’m blocked.”
Sam falls quiet, fearing maybe he had stirred something up between the two of you.
You try to lighten the situation. “Oh yeah? How do you know that?”
Jake shrugged. “I’ve reached out here and there. It’s never gone through.”
Yikes.
You clear your throat. “Josh? Do you still have my number? If not I can text you.”
“I’ve still got it.” Josh says lightly.
You half smile. “Great. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to slip out of here. It was truly great seeing you guys.”
“Care if I walk you out?” Josh asks.
You weren’t really expecting that.
“Oh yeah sure.” You reply.
You smile and nod everyone else off and Jake has that same smirk on his face.
“See ya soon Sugar.” Jake says, eyeing you up and down.
“Jake.” Is all you say with a nod.
Then you and Josh are walking out of the bar. It’s definitely awkward and there’s so much to be said, but you’re so unsure where to start.
“I’m just right here.” You say motioning over towards your car. “Thank you for walking me.”
Josh gives you a small smile. “So if I text you are you actually going to respond?”
Ouch.
“Josh I-“ You start.
He holds his hand up to you. “I’m only teasing. I know it was a weird situation.”
There was the sweet and understanding Josh he had always been. “It was. But there was still no excuse for me to do what I did to you.”
Josh shakes his head. “Consider it water under the bridge.”
You give a small sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
“I’ll see you Saturday?” Josh questions.
You nod. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Josh smiles. “Good.”
“Hug?” You say extending your arms out.
Josh obliged and stepped in and hugged you. It felt like comfort. You smiled into his shirt. When you both let each other go. Josh was reciprocating that smile.
“I’m glad I ran into you tonight. Get home safe.”
“Me too. Bye Josh.”
“Bye.”
Then he stood outside and watched you pull out, waving you off.
Your head was running a million miles an hour. What just happened? You felt like you wanted to vomit, half bile, half rainbows. All you knew was that now you had to prepare for a Saturday with your ex-boyfriend, old best friend, and their band.
**
Saturday had rolled around quicker than you had anticipated. You huffed as you threw your pilates bag into your car. In a way you were ready to work out all of the anxiousness and frustration you felt. Your pilates studio wasn’t too far from your townhouse. It was in an upscale little plaza next to a smoothie shop, which you would definitely be taking advantage of after. Once you arrived you checked into your class and rolled out your mat. You took a few deep breaths and adjusted your attire. You wore a rather loud pair of green leggings that fit you like tights, and a white sports bra top. You unlaced your white sneakers, letting your bare feet hit the mat. You felt grounded, drained of negative energy. Pilates was always an outlet for your stress, better that than alcohol.
After an intense session you felt reborn. You rolled up your mat and hit the locker room, splashing cold water on your face. You took your hair down and watched it cascade down your shoulders, it had gotten so long. You dried your face with a clean towel and wiped the sweat from your hairline. You rolled on some deodorant and you were vibrating with excitement at the thought of the peanut butter banana protein smoothie you were about to inhale. After dropping off your items in your car you walked with some pep in your step to the entrance of the smoothie cafe only to be met with confusion.
Jake?
He saw you through the door as soon as you saw him, his face lighting up with a smile as he got up to meet you at the door.
“Hey Sug. What a pleasant surprise.” He greeted, as you stepped in.
“Are you stalking me?” You ask, half serious.
He lets out a chuckle. “You wish. No, Josh and I are here meeting with our social media manager. She wanted smoothies, but I’ve got to say I was hoping this pilates studio next door was the one you frequented.”
You glance around him and see Josh at the table giving you a wave while a blonde girl scrolled through a laptop.
“So why this smoothie place? Did you search for one closest to a pilates studio?” You ask in an accusatory tone.
“You overestimate me Sug. This was just the closest one to our house.” He replies coolly.
“Closest?” You ask with pinched brows.
“Yeah. Our house is somewhat secluded I guess. It’s a few miles behind that block of townhomes.”
“Motherfucker.” You whisper.
Jake looks at you strangely. “What?”
”Nothing.” You say dismissively.
He cracks that annoyingly perfect smile at you. “Don’t tell me you live close to there?”
You glance up at him, always finding it hard to lie to him “I do.”
”Well I’ll be damned. What does fate have in store for us Sug?” He asks through a smirk.
You scoff at him. He was ridiculous.
“Let me at least buy you a smoothie and you can come join us.” Jake offers.
You make a face at him. “I don’t need you to buy my smoothie Jake.”
He cracks a smile at you and places his hand on your lower back ushering you towards the ordering station. “I know you don’t need me to. But I want to. Y’know good karma and all.”
You scoff. “It would take a lot more than a smoothie to give you good karma.”
He lets out a small laugh. “You’re right.”
You two order and stand by the counter while you’re waiting on all of the smoothies. He had ordered one for him, Josh, and the laptop girl too.
You try to tune Jake out but you can feel his eyes burning into you.
“What?” You ask, looking over at him.
“Ah nothing. I thought pink was your color, but it might be green.” He suggests with a smirk, while nodding his head towards your tight green leggings that are practically painted on you.
You roll your eyes but feel your face flushing red. Thankfully, they call your order number up and you grab your smoothie and Josh’s while Jake waits for whatever else he ordered. You walk towards the booth and are greeted with a smiley Josh. You decide to slide in next to him, the blonde girl barely looks up from her computer.
“Ah I thought that was you. I didn’t know you would be joining us this morning?” Josh questions, almost as if he would believe that you and Jake had planned this.
You lightly laughed at that notion. “Yeah me either. My pilates studio is next door. I come here religiously for these protein shakes.”
“Pilates and protein? What happened to my beer and mac & cheese girl?” He teases with a bright smile.
You huff a laugh, but before you can respond Jake comes buzzing over to the table. “Here ya go Dev.” Jake says, sliding over to the blonde girl who was so wrapped up in her computer. However, that’s not the case anymore.
She flashes a smile to Jake. “Oh thank you Jake.” She says, her voice thick with sweetness.
Oh she likes him. You can tell by the way her eyes light up when she sees him. You get it, you really do. But why is it bothering you?
Josh clears his throat. “Okay, well maybe proper introductions are in order here? Devan this is y/n. We all go way back.”
Jake snickers at that. “Yeah, way back.”
You flick a brief look of judgment at Jake, but you notice your heart rate quicken.
“Yes… and this is Devan, she is our newly hired social media coordinator. She’s brilliant. I figured you two might have some common ground with your marketing career?” Josh offers.
Devan meets your eyes. She’s pretty. Moderately short dirty blonde hair with platinum highlights, blue eyes lined perfectly with black eyeliner and encased in black rimmed large eye glasses. You weren’t sure if they were for seeing or fashion, but they looked great on her. She was trendy in a business casual way. Very much a Nashville girl.
You flashed her a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Devan.”
She offers you a tight lipped smile before averting her eyes back to her computer. “Mhm likewise.”
Oh. You would completely understand her demeanor had she behaved like this the whole time. Work is work. However, she lit up like a Christmas tree for Jake. So you were led to believe that you and her would not be making each other friendship bracelets anytime soon.
“Jake, can you tell me what you think of this filter?” Devan asks in that sickeningly sweet voice again.
Jake glances up at you slightly with a grin and scoots closer to Devan. He brushes his hand with hers as he scrolls on the mousepad and you see her cheeks dust with pink. “Oh wow. Devan this is beautiful. We really are so lucky to have hired you.” He says nudging her shoulder. “Josh, look at this.”
Jake spins the computer around and you glance at the photo. It’s a fucking black and white picture with grain. You now know Jake is trying to put on an act since you’re here.
Josh purses his lips. “Yeah… absolutely. Looks great.”
He has always been so kind.
Your attention is diverted when your phone starts to vibrate on the table.
Aiden Rodgers flashes upon your screen and Jake sees it before you do.
“Sorry guys. I’m going to get out of here and take this call.” You look over directly to Josh. “I’ll see you later?”
Josh gives you a polite smile. “Yeah of course.”
You grab your phone that’s still lighting up the table and glance up at Jake before shuffling out of the booth.
“See you tonight. Do feel free to bring Aiden, Sug.” Jake says with a sly smile.
You make a face at him. Why did he always manage to get under your skin? As you walked off you took a deep breath and answered your phone.
**
Lunch with Aiden went perfectly well. You had fibbed a little and said that you had a family thing come up for the evening, so Aiden offered lunch. He took you to a cute little patio restaurant where you indulged in a salmon and goat cheese salad with a lemon blueberry mojito. He was funny and charming. But you couldn’t help but let your mind drift elsewhere while he was speaking. You sent Aiden off with a hug and a promise to call him soon. Now you sat in your living room nursing a wine cooler contemplating what you would even wear tonight. What is the attire for attending your rockstar ex-boyfriend’s concert? Part of you wanted to bail on the whole night and not even go, but you couldn’t do that to Josh. Despite all of the shit with Jake, Josh was always there for you. It was about time you showed some reciprocation after all this time.
You groaned and peeled yourself off of your couch. There was a laundry list of things that needed to be done before tonight and you had better get started. Your phone buzzed whilst you were in the middle of an everything shower. When you climbed out you check it immediately to see a text from Josh:
After party tonight at our house. Would love for you to come and you’re more than welcome to stay. Pack a swimsuit!
You felt a swirl of emotions hit you. You missed them and you knew going would be fun. But were you ready to be around Jake for longer than 10 minutes? You dried off and tried to do anything but contemplate how the night might play out. Once you had completed all of your skincare, you threw your hair up to dry in a turban towel and picked through your closet. You fingered through your dresses, business casual blouses, and blazers. Nothing spoke to you. Then, it hit you.
Black.
Jake had said he loved you in pink and green, but you still remember the way he trembled when you wore black. You tried to reason with yourself that the sole reason you were choosing your outfit was not based on him, but you were drawing blanks.
Once you applied sultry makeup and put bouncing curls in your hair you were ready to get dressed. You picked up your lingerie-esk black see through cami adorned with lace. It was entirely sheer except for the front. You decided to pair it with a longer silk black skirt with a high slit and black strappy heels. Once, you were dressed, you accessorized and sprayed yourself with a perfume that made you smell like a walking dessert. You might have taken a liquid shot of courage before you got into your Uber to head to the venue.
There was a line of fans outside and you smiled to yourself knowing that their dream was coming to fruition. You clicked your heels on the pavement up towards the box office, carrying your small duffle bag and gave them your name. You were given a lanyard and entrance to the side door where a rather muscular man led you down empty hallways. He smiled and attempted to strike a flirty conversation with you while taking your bag to carry it, but you were already bored of him as he droned on about how important he was. Finally you had made it to a lounge area where you saw Danny rummaging through the fridge with Sam hot on his heels. You laughed to yourself at a memory that had come to mind seeing the scene before you. Josh had always called them tweedle dee and tweedle dumb in the most endearing way. Where there was one the other surely would be in tow.
“Y/n! Hey! You look hot!” Sam yelled, rather loudly as soon as he noticed your presence.
“I believe this is where I leave you ma’am.” Muscles said, sitting your bag down on a chair. “If you require my assistance later or need help getting to your seat, here’s my number.”
You politely accepted his small slip of paper and tried to pretend like you didn’t see his wink.
“You made it!” Josh stated enthusiastically heading your way.
You wrapped him in a warm embrace. “I’m done dodging you.”
He smiled at those words. “Promise?”
”Pinky.” You said, extending your finger out towards him.
This was something you and Josh had done in the past. The most serious of vows, your pinky promises.
You saw his heart swell at your action, happy to have his best friend back. That was short lived when you felt a cloud come into the room. You could sense his eyes on you.
“Want a drink?” Josh asked, nodding towards the small wet bar.
“Just a vodka soda please.”
As one twin left you, another approached. Jake didn’t say a word as he took you in with his eyes. Scanning you up and down no doubtably undressing you with his eyes. You tried not to let that affect you.
”Jake.”
He nodded towards you. “Sugar. You look… just wow. Takes me back to a different time.”
Your face slightly reddens at his admission. You expected more of a sleazy conversation from Jake rather than an unintentional trip down memory lane.
The mood shifts entirely when Josh comes back with a vodka soda and two limes.
“You remembered.” You say to Josh with a smile, gesturing towards the extra lime.
“Of course. How could I forget?” He replies with a grin.
Jake clears his throat. “Well glad you could make it. We have a hell of a show tonight and I assume you’ll be at our house later of course for the party?”
You give a quick glance to Josh, who is looking at you hopefully. “Yep. I’ll be there.”
Jake flashes you a mischievous grin. “Excellent. Enjoy yourself tonight Sug.” Then he heads off to converse with one of his technicians.
“Rather brooding isn’t he?” Josh jabs.
You snicker at that. “I’ll say.”
Josh turns towards you and places a hand on your back. “I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you.”
A wave of guilt mixed with sentimentality rushes through your veins. You loved Josh. No matter what happened with Jake, he was still that beautiful shining beacon of light for you. It was then you had decided to focus on him rather than concern yourself with whatever Jake may do. “I missed you too Josh, so much.”
“Alright everyone! Openers are about to go on. I need you all dressed and ready to shoot some social media content in ten!”
You glance across the room and see Devan with an iPad in hand. She was wearing a similar stylish business casual outfit like she had previously worn. When she finally looked up from her screen she noticed you immediately and gave a harsh face. It was brief, but you had caught it.
“Devan can we push this back a little? Y/n just got here and I’d like to show her around.” Josh asks.
Devan makes a face a Josh before tapping furiously on her tablet. “Eh sorry no can do Josh. The best I could do is an additional fifteen minutes but that will cut into Danny’s tik tok later. Besides, we need to make sure we are staying somewhat confidential with our filming so that nothing gets leaked.”
You felt a pit form in your stomach. She didn’t want you around and you were intruding on their work.
“Uh Devan she’s basically family.” Sam chimes in. “She wouldn’t dare leak anything.”
“No, it’s fine!” You try to say as nonchalant as possible. “I wanted to catch some of the opening act anyway. You guys go and get dressed and do your thing.”
Josh gives you a sad look, but eventually nods on.
“I’ll call that security guard to come fetch you. Oh! Jake! I need your feedback on something.” Devan says, hurrying over towards Jake who looks at you with raised brows.
“One sec Dev. Gonna walk y/n to her seat.” He says, shuffling past her.
He walks up to you with a pleased smile and sticks his arm out. “Shall we?”
You give him a pointed look and huff before grabbing his arm. “Break a leg.” You say to Josh with a smile.
He gives you a half hearted smile back and nods. You wondered why his mood had seemed to change, but Jake’s voice quickly snapped you out of your thoughts.
“Excited?”
You hum. “I supposed. Eager to see how much you’ve all changed.”
Jake chews on his cheeks before he speaks. “I guess we all have… changed quite a bit. Grew up a little.”
You laugh. “Oh, have you? That seems far-fetched for some of you.”
He huffs a laugh back. “You’re talking about Sam right?”
“Oh most definitely.” You snicker, but can’t hide the smile that creeps out. “You didn’t have to walk me, you know. I can manage.”
“And leave that meathead to try and sweep you off your feet? No way Sugar, I’m the only one who can do that. Besides, these halls can be empty. No one around. Private really.” He retorts with a shit eating grin.
There he is. You roll your eyes. “Oh Jake, you really always have been ever so charming.”
“You flatter me. But in all honesty it can be difficult to navigate around backstage. When we first started playing at bigger venues I would get lost just trying to find somewhere to smoke a fucking cigarette.”
“Cigarettes? That’s a nasty little habit.” You say with faux disapproval.
He turns towards you and sets his eyes on yours. “Quite. Sometimes the things that can hurt you the most are what you want more than anything. You crave it.”
You feel your heartbeat quicken at that statement. Your chest starts to blaze with an indescribable feeling, but before you can respond you’re interrupted.
“VIP guest? I’ll usher her over to side stage.” A crew member says approaching you and Jake.
Jake clears his throat and nods at the man. “Yep, thank you.”
Then he turns away and heads in the opposite direction without looking back at you. You felt your brain spinning as you blinked to come back to reality. You were taken to your seat where you were surprisingly close to the stage. You weren’t necessarily in seats, but had a foldout chair side stage on the floor. Your mind drifted to what they might play and if Jake played with as much passion as he used to. When you two had dated you were mesmerized watching him play. His dedication, his intensity, the way his body swayed around that guitar, the facial expressions, the sweat, his…hands. Stop. You couldn’t think that way. That time was over. You have moved on. You were over Jake. Right? You hated him. Didn’t you? You massaged your temples and requested a drink from a crew member. When it arrived you nursed the burning liquid in attempt to suppress whatever in the hell your psyche was feeling. You tried to concentrate on the openers, but before you knew it their set was over and you were left thinking what the next setlist might be. Since you went no contact, you did not go out of your way to search for them or their music. You only know the early days. The early days. Would they play it? Your song? They used to play it all the time. A catchy song written drunkenly by Jake and Josh one night when they were younger, but you were the driven force behind its publication. They played it all the time. It was a great jam song, but no one knew Jake had dedicated it to you. Anxiousness swirled in your stomach as you anticipated the mere minutes before they would take to the stage. You had to admit there was quite a turn out. They had fans and not just casual ones either. A part of you felt proud while another solem that you had missed the build up to this moment.
The lights dimmed and cheering ensued. Then you heard those familiar chords billow through the speaker. It couldn’t be. Your song? They started with your song? Josh’s wailing fills the venue and Jake’s fingers move at lightning speed to match his twin. Highway Tune. Your song.
So sweet. So fine. So nice. Oh my.
Jake used to jokingly say this to you all the time. Your body betrayed you as you swayed to that ever so familiar sound, the build up to the catchiest little riff that has haunted you for years. For a moment Jake’s eyes meet yours and a bright smile appears on his face followed by a wink. He knew what he was doing. The song comes to a close and you hold your breath in anticipation to see if they do it. Danny beats the skin off of his drums, Sam plucks wildly at his bass, Jake strums and struts, you see Josh take a breath and then look at you before the close out.
Sugarrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
**
You were reeling after the last two hours of whatever that was. A rush of conflicting emotions assaults all of your senses as you make your way backstage. Starting off with your song and then you heard a song that made a pit form in your stomach. You’re The One. Was that about you? Timeline wise it would make sense. You wouldn’t dare ask in fear of being embarrassed if it wasn’t about you. But you had a gut feeling that it was.
All of a sudden they all rush back into the green room high off adrenaline.
“So, what did you think?” Danny asks, grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat from his chest.
“You guys were phenomenal. Seriously, I was blown away.”
Danny smiles, clearly pleased with your answer while Sam pulls you into his side for a hug.
“Feels so nostalgic in here huh?”
You let out a small laugh. “Sure does Sammy.”
“Nostalgia for sure Sug.” Jake says, pressing a freshly poured glass of some dark liquid to his lips. His eyes are intense as they study you, trying to see if there’s any falter behind you.
You breath out when you see Josh and take the opportunity to get you out of this weird eye contact that you have with Jake. “Josh! Oh my god, your voice! You were absolutely amazing. So grown up now.”
He smiles sweetly at you. “You’re too kind. It’s been a work in progress for a while.”
“I can tell. I always knew you were talented but I just- wow.”
He blushes slightly at that.
“Yeah yeah enough of the love fest. Can we please go home and start drinking?” Sam says in a faux annoyed tone while sending you a wink.
“Don’t have to ask me twice. Wanna ride with me Sug?” Jake asks looking towards you with raised eyebrows
You swallow thickly at that. “I’ll hang back with Josh. Gotta find my bags anyway.”
“Suit yourself.”
**
“Josh!” You say in a fit of giggles as he matches your laughs.
“What? It’s true! He absolutely looked like he was snorting steroids.”
You and Josh had left the venue and were headed back to the house. You thought you would be anxious, but neither you nor Josh had shut up or quit laughing. It all felt so natural, just like it once did.
“We’re just around this corner here.” He says, whipping his jeep to the left.
“Josh.” You start. “I have a confession.”
He raises his eyebrows at you. “Yeah?”
“See those trees back there? Just to the right of that little park?”
He quints and nods.
“I live back there.”
His mouth falls open. “No shit?”
You laugh and nod. “I’m so serious! I live in one of those townhomes. That’s why I was so weirded out when I ran into you guys at the smoothie cafe.”
Josh grins and taps the steering wheel. “Hell. Small world. Who would have thought?”
“It’s the universe bringing us back together Joshy.” You say playfully giving his arm a light tap.
His grin turns into a full on smile at that. “I’ll hold you to that.”
When you arrived Josh grabbed your bag and ushered you inside. The house was quite big, definitely bigger than your townhome. There was loud music blasting inside and a slew of bodies which didn’t look familiar to you.
“Wanna take this to my room?” Josh yells over the music.
You nod and grab his hand as he leads you up the stairs.
“Shit it’s loud down there. I’m going to fix that when we get back there. I don’t wear earpieces to protect my ears on stage only to have it ruined at a shitty house party.” Josh says, as he shuts his door.
His room is so very Josh. There’s a white plush king bed in the center, perfectly made. A John Denver poster hangs on a blank wall with a few plants scattered around. But your favorite feature is a small reading nook that Josh has made out of his relatively small windowsill.
“Josh, this is so cute.” You say, running your fingers through his books. You two had always been avid readers and you were delighted to see his new found fame hadn’t changed him.
He gives you a bashful grin. “I guess. I just need a space that’s just for me. Somewhere to escape from the normal insanity that is my life.”
You shrug at him. “Understandable. The reason I chose the townhome I’m in is solely because of a clawfoot tub in my bathroom. I will sit in that thing for hours after a long day at work.”
“You still stay in there long enough to be a mermaid?”
You nod and smile. Josh use to always call you a mermaid because of your extensive baths.
“Ready to head down? I’ve got to kill this music before we get the damn cops called on us.”
You agree and follow him down the stairs. He introduces you to a few dozen people who you couldn’t possibly remember before taking two tequila shots. He throws you a seltzers and a leaves you with a promise to return as soon as he gets the music turned down. You sip on your drink as you can feel the two shots of tequila already working it’s way into your system. You took the time to walk around the house and explore. Careful to avoid any unwanted interactions. You finally found yourself in a small corner of the living room observing some vinyl that was hanging. It seems their collection had almost doubled since you last saw it.
You weren’t alone for long when you felt his presence near you. It was magnetic the way you two had always gravitated towards one another and you knew he was fighting that pull just as much as you had.
“Enjoying yourself Sugar?” Jake asks, leaning in closer than necessary so you can hear him. Immediately you can smell the booze on him. Was he trying to drink away the feelings he felt just like you were?
“Having a splendid time Jacob. Thank you.” You reply, cordially.
He laughs and presses his back up to the wall, observing the party with you. “Why do I always find you in a corner by yourself? You should be out there mingling and mixing.” He teases.
You scoff. “We all aren’t social butterflies like you I suppose.”
Jake turns back and leans in closer to you. “Don’t play coy with me Sug. Don’t forget, I know you. You are very personable. Dare I say charming even?”
You take this opportunity to poke back at him. “Charming? I think I use my charm a little bit differently than you.”
He clicks his tongue and brings his glass up to his lips. “Whatever do you mean?”
“I use my charm simply in a way that any human would; for the purpose of social interaction. Right? You use your charm to try and get panties to drop. So why are you lecturing me? You need to get out there and mix and mingle instead of standing in this corner.”
Jake studies you as you speak and takes a step even closer. He stares directly in your eyes, his slightly red and half-lidded. “Fair, but there’s only one person here that I want to try that charm out with.”
You tried not to flinch at his words, but that hit you like a bullet train. “Yeah?”
He leaned down, bracing himself on the wall. “Yeah.” He whispers into your neck. His hot breath fanning on a sweet spot that caused goosebumps to form everywhere. “And I can only get to her in this corner. Unless of course she would like to accompany me upstairs? We could do a lot of mixing and mingling up there.”
Fuck.
You feel a rush in your chest as Jake’s eyes bounce from your eyes to your lips.
Oh but his lips.
Slightly wet from nursing his drink, but so perfectly plump and pink. You tried to remember how they felt when they used to graze every inch of your skin. That thought alone sent shivers down your spine. You felt frozen in time as your heart was thudding. Maybe it was the alcohol in your system or maybe it was the burning sensation of lust coursing through your veins, but you were going to kiss him. No you were going to fuck him. You didn’t care, all of your inhibitions had long flown out the window. You stared back at him intently and fluttered your eyes tilting your head forward. He leaned in slowly and parted his lips. You followed suit. His nose brushed yours and electricity shot down your spine. This was it.
“Jake!”
Damnit.
You both spun around to see Josh heading your way. Jake huffed a few curse words under his breath as you instinctively took a step back.
Josh makes his way over to you and runs his fingers through his hair. “Thank god I found you. That redhead is looking for you. She’s been following me around for the last few minutes. Something about plans you had?”
Redhead?
Your stomach sinks slightly at that and you feel embarrassed that it did. Of course he has little flings or hell even multiple girlfriends.
Jake cocks his head at his twin and narrows his eyes at him. Almost like he cannot believe what he just said. There’s a long pause of silence between the two of them, neither breaking eye contact from the other.
Finally, Jake lets out a huff and glances back at you before walking off.
You were now beyond grateful that Josh cockblocked you.
“Such a sour puss. You ready to go swimming?” Josh asks you with a grin.
You match his. “Absolutely.”
**
You stared at yourself in the mirror feeling a little self conscious as you took in your body in the black bikini. Jake hadn’t seen your body in a while. Not since you had become more womanly and of course the months of pilates classes. You knew you looked attractive, sure but you still had those voices inside your head criticizing every imperfection. You massaged your temples to get out of your own head and threw on a large Nirvana t-shirt with some leather flip flops before leaving Josh’s bathroom.
“Ready?” He asked you, sitting patiently in his windowsill. “I got us towels.”
You let out a small laugh. “Thank you. Yes, let's go.”
You and Josh descend the stairs and head outside. There’s a decent amount of people there. You don’t scan around looking for Jake, instead keeping your eyes on Josh as he plops your towels down on a chair. He’s wearing light orange swim trunks that match his tan perfectly. It’s just now that you realize how fit he looks. He has really filled out since you last saw him.
You take off your t-shirt and slide off your flip flops, placing them all on the chair. When you glance up your eyes meet Jake’s. He’s staring at you, mouth slightly agape. He’s in the pool, with a fair skinned girl with red hair laughing and straddling him. Her arms are on his shoulders and instantly jealousy creeps down your spine. Why were you jealous? You couldn’t say, but you were. You peeled your eyes away from Jake and headed towards Josh, who was at the cooler fetching you drinks.
“Hot tub?” You ask him walking up behind him.
“Oh yeah sure-“ He turns around and his eyes scan your body. He’s not being nonchalant about it and when he catches himself his face dusts red and he clears his throat. “Yeah hot tub it is.”
You and Josh pad your way to the hot tub, opposite to where Jake and the red head were. You see Sam sitting in there animatedly speaking to Danny. You giggle because you can tell he’s intoxicated.
“Wow wow wow!” Sam whistles wildly at you two approaching. “Josh, you look incredible!”
Josh laughs at his brothers antics while taking your hand to help you climb into the hot tub. The warm water goes from slightly uncomfortable to pleasant the more you sink down in it. You crack your watermelon tequila seltzer and cheers with Josh as you get settled, opting to share a jet together.
“Sammy boy, how much have you had to drink tonight?” Josh pokes.
He throws his hand up at you two. “I lost count. I’m just trying to celebrate! Enjoy the lovely night with lovely people!”
Danny groaned at the end of that sentence and handed Sam a bottle of water. “Drink this.”
“Ah! The gang’s all back together. Where’s Jake? I’m surprised he peeled himself away from you.” Sam giggles. “He was eye fucking you all night on that stage.”
It got quiet.
“He’s in the pool.” Danny offers, bluntly.
Sam cranes his head around to look for his older brother. “Oh. Shit. Is that one Holly or Katie?”
“Holly.” Josh interjects. “Katie is the other one.”
Other one.
Sam sucks in his cheeks and turns towards you. “Sorry. I know that might be awkward for you. It’s nothing serious.”
You let out a laugh. “It’s okay Sam. It doesn't bother me.” You lie. “That was a long time ago.”
“Sam, no one was thinking that. You’re the one making things weird.” Danny says through a laugh.
Sam lets out a breath. “Pshhhhhh. Nope. Come on we all remember how they used to-“
“Sam!” Josh snaps, somewhat abruptly. “Let it be. Can we not traumatize her again?”
You play it off. “It’s fine I promise. But tell me about this house? It’s insane! You guys are living here for how long?”
Josh faces you. “It is. I’m very grateful they gave us such a big place to write this album. We used to go in the smallest cabins in the woods and hold up for weeks. But I think we should be here for at least a good six to nine months.”
You swallow at that. How would you be around them or him for that long? “Wow. Sounds like you guys will be busy then.”
Danny rolls his eyes. “We would be if we could stay on topic.”
You smile at that. “Not much has changed, has it?”
Sam sips his water. “Not even a little bit.”
**
Eventually the party had died down and the crowd began to disperse. Danny and Sam were on cleanup duty while you and Josh both quickly took a rinse shower and put dry clothes back on. You were done first, so you decided to head back down wearing gray sweat shorts with a white cropped tank. Your hair was slightly damp and had curled up significantly.
“Need any help?” You ask Sam as you see him throwing cups on a trash bag.
“That would be great.” He offers with a big smile.
You get to work and grab a bottle of cleaning solution with paper towels and being spraying and wiping down the sticky surfaces, while Sam finishes picking up trash and begins to sweep.
“You’re too sweet, you know that? I’ve always thought so.”
You giggle at his drunk confessional. “Thank you Sammy. So are you.”
He shrugs. “I guess. I’m sorry if I made you upset earlier. I’m just glad to see that you don’t have an achy Jakey heart.”
You can’t help but laugh at that one. “It’s okay, really. I’m a big girl.”
Sam grins at you. “I know you are. But for what it’s worth, he hasn’t really been the same since- you know. Despite how he acts it really fucked him up. He never said a word to indicate it, but we could all tell. I’m sure you heard that song tonight. He would absolutely kill me for saying all of this to you right now, but I feel like you should know it. If for nothing but closure. Fuck, I know I’m drunk and I’m oversharing here.”
You feel like the wind has been sucked out of you. A pool of emotions you absolutely cannot identify swirl in you. Does Jake have feelings for you? After all this time? That song? Were you right?
You’re interrupted abruptly by Josh climbing down the stairs. “Sammy, why do you have our guest working?”
Sam clears his throat, trying to drop all of the conversation that had just occurred between you two. “She volunteered because she is kind. Unlike a certain diva I know.”
“Please. Jake and I have the next clean up- that was the agreement.”
Sam rolls his eyes. “Yeah yeah. Help me take this trash out.”
Josh gives you a head nod as he grabs two bags of trash and walks with Sam towards the door.
Then you’re left in your own thoughts, absentmindedly putting away things that you have no idea where they go.
“So who are you?”
You whip your head around to see redhead approaching you. She’s still in her neon pink bikini tracking pools of water on the floors Sam had just cleaned.
You try not to narrow your eyes at her as you tell her your name. “Old friend of theirs.”
She takes in what you say. “Hm, old friend? I don’t think I’ve ever heard them talk about you.”
You’re a bit taken back by her nastiness. “And you are?”
“Holly.” She says with a smile. “Jake’s good friend. Thank you for helping clean up and all, but the party’s over. I think we’ll get it from here.”
Okay now you narrow your eyes at her. She doesn’t know you and you have a good inkling she doesn’t know how much of good friends you and Jake used to be. “Appreciate your tip and all, but I’m staying here tonight.”
She makes a face at you. “What are you taking the couch or something?”
“No.” Josh’s voice peaks from behind you. “Not that’s it’s any of your concern, but she’s staying with me.”
She drops a considerable amount of attitude with Josh in the room. “Oh! No, yeah I just didn’t know.”
She heads back outside as Josh scoffs. “Don’t worry about her.”
You flash him a smile. “What? She seems so friendly.”
He nudges your shoulder. “You have no idea.”
You and Josh had decided to go outside to make sure everything else was done before you had retired to bed. You found Jake sitting in a chair with redhead practically on top of him. His eyes found yours when you stepped outside, but you looked away quickly and refused to look back.
“Is Sam making a fucking fire?” Josh asks through a laugh.
Danny walks by and places his hand on Josh’s shoulder. “Indeed he is. Something about old times sake and a card game?”
A smile spreads across your face. “Rummy? That’s what we used to all play when we were high out of our minds.”
“Bingo!” Sam yells from a distance. “And you’re in luck baby because look what I have!” He holds up a sandwich bag full of joints.
You shake your head and smile at Josh. “Oh my god.”
He throws his arm around you. “Are you up for this?”
You think about it for a second. Contemplating being around Jake and redhead even longer. You didn’t want to be a buzzkill though, so you bit your lip and nodded your head.
You all eventually gathered around the table. You seated yourself next to Josh and Sam, trying to steer away from Jake. It was to no use when he sat down directly in front of you. His eyes bore into yours, but again you wouldn’t look at him.
“Wanna shuffle Sug?” Jake asks you, attempting to hand the cards in your direction.
You can see redhead squish her face up at the pet name.
“Sure.” You take the cards and begin to shuffle them around before dealing.
Sam lights up and starts to pass the joints around. You collect your cards and take a joint from Josh, watching him take a drag. You bring the joint to your lips and take a small hit, not wanting to do too much for the night. The smoke fills your lungs and you feel that light sensation rush to your head. You close your eyes and exhale, deciding to take another puff before passing it back to Sam. It’s not long until all of you are red eyed and smiley. The first few games were won by you and Danny, then the cards got tossed to the side stories began to flow. At this point the cotton mouth began to set it.
“Gonna go grab a bottle of water. Want one?” You turn to Josh.
He gives you a smile. “Please.”
You head towards the house and go to the bathroom first, relieving your bladder. You wash your hands and stare at the mirror, trying to fix the slight black smudge under your eyes. You were tired and ready to call it a night. Once you headed back into the kitchen you were startled by a body standing there.
“Fuck! Jake, you scared me.”
He laughs. “Sorry Sugar. Just wanted to come and check on you.”
“I’m fine.”
“You are.” His voice was like velvet. He was always somehow more attractive when he was stoned.
“Careful Jake. Don’t want your friend out there to hear.” You say nonchalantly, grabbing two bottles of water.
Jake gives you a devilish grin and steps closer. Backing you up into the countertops. “Oh come on now Sugar. Just say the words and she’s gone.”
You look up at him, studying that beautiful face. “I’m good actually.”
You shimmy out from underneath him heading back outside to Josh. You let out a deep breath before returning to the group.
“Thanks love.” Josh says, taking the bottle from you.
Jake returns to the group not uttering a word.
“I’m tired.” You announce to Josh.
“Yeah me too.” Redhead states. “Jake can we go to bed babe?”
You glance up at him. He looks at you with raised eyebrows, almost asking you. You avoid his glance and he mutters a “yeah” towards her. It sort of felt like a stab to your gut, but you wouldn’t give it any attention.
“Good night guys!” Redhead yells, toting Jake’s arm all the way inside.
You and Josh helped put the fire out before heading back inside.
“What a damn day.” Josh jokes, handing you toothpaste to put on your toothbrush.
You huff a laugh. “Tell me about it. Also I’m freezing, why is it so cold in here?”
“Daniel insists we keep the house at a crisp 68. Michigan blood isn’t used to this Tennessee heat.”
You snicker. “You would all boil if you came to my place.”
“You’ve adapted well I see.”
You shrug. “I’ve always preferred to be closer to The Sun I guess. Makes me happy.”
Josh smiles at you. “I know what you mean.”
You both brush your teeth side by side. A part of it felt so domestic, like it was something that you two had done every night forever. You chalk it off to being high and climb into bed with your once best friend.
You snuggled down into his plush sheets and both crack a few jokes before drifting off to sleep. Somehow, Josh’s arm found it’s way wrapped around you. You were no longer freezing; you were now warm.
