People are strange
Weird things happen in Philadelphia. There's a ton of different people living in this town. Just the other day, a man in the streets yelled at me, "HALLO VIE GET ES DEER." I felt attacked and was frightened by this, but his English-speaking friend said that he just said, "Hello how are you doing?" in German. Oh those silly Pennsylvania Dutch, can't they just assimilate themselves to our glorious American customs and language? Besides the Pennsylvania Dutch, there are a lot of immigrants here in Philly. The Scots-Irish is another group of people I see a lot of here. Even though it feels like there are too many of them around, I feel bad for them because nobody likes them in their country. And they make some good whisky.