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It’s been a while since I’ve posted any pictures of myself or made any original posts so here’s a quick update on how I’m doing! I spend all of my time doing my makeup and crying but it’s okay! I love my friends and I get to spend time with them and that’s good even though life kinda sucks. I’m also an adult now which is a trip but I guess I have to live now to prove people wrong. Until next time!
I really crave physical affection. Not just like hugging and stuff, but being close to people, like leaning up against people or just resting my head on their shoulder or vice versa. I don't always want to talk, but most of the time I just want to chill and cuddle
Daphne talks 2
Daphne talks part two I'm going to be real, I hate myself. Not like the cute "that joke was so bad I hate myself", but every time I look at myself or say something I want to crawl out of my flesh and rip myself apart. I hate everything about myself, my voice, hair, weight, height, what I think, how I act, that I suck at art, and writing, and everything. I despise myself more than I've ever let on to anybody I've ever known. When I say that "I'm trash or stupid" I mean it. I believe I'm worthless and deserve to die. Some of you might think I'm joking, but the only reason I'm still even alive right now is because I can't do that to my family. Some of you might know that I had a friend who committed suicide a few months ago, and it really had an impact on me. No matter how much I hate myself, I couldn't ever kill myself and I hate myself for that too. When I see myself in a picture or hear my voice I want to rip my vocal cords out and dig my fingers into my flesh and tear out everything I hate. I don't think anyone knows I feel this way about myself because I make light of it, and they all agree because they think I'm joking, but I'm not and I'm secretly afraid they think that about me too. I'm scared of how much I hate myself and I don't want anyone else to house that much hatred inside them too. I'm contemplating whether or not to post this because I don't know if the people I know will see this, but I'm so tired of holding it inside and I just can't anymore. I'm sorry you had to see this, but I'm not sorry I said it
Daphne talks part 1
So, I figured I'll start a new thing where I inform you about me. You don't have to read it, but it's just about how I think and what goes on in my life. If you're thinking the same things I am, or want to talk to me you totally can. This is only part one of many.
So I'm really lonely. Like, I have people to talk to, but I also have severe anxiety and depression so every time I think about contacting someone, I go 'better not bother them' because I honestly think that I'm not worth it. I've always been the one everyone depends on, so things get shared to me, I'm the "mother" of my group, but I'm alone in the sense that I feel like if I share with anyone how I feel, then I won't be someone they can depend on. It's like, everyone unloads their stuff into me, and I'm fine with that, but because they already have so much to deal with, I can't give any of what I'm dealing with to them. I don't want to burden them because I just don't feel like I'm deserve it. Even while I'm typing this out, I'm regretting it because I don't want people to see what I'm really thinking and I don't want others to worry about me.
