#dari rambles

[prosaicadmirer]

the big wawa and the eltingville club ur so cool

Thank youu, that’s really sweet of you!! Literally can’t help but love this fandom♡ ♡

[septicemic-main]

theres a blog called “religion is a mental illness” and at first i thought it was a troll but then i remembered that there are some people who genuinely believe that and sure enough, the person running it isnt a troll, or it doesnt seem that way

but like? i dont really understand how it can be a mental illness, especially since some religions dont believe in mental illness. they also praise education and everything since it apparently diverts them from any form of god but fail to realize that there are religions that praise education as it brings them closer to the gods. im a little bit interested in hearing what anti-theists have to say about this, and give me a kind of background as to why religion is a mental illness, it sounds kinda like...weird? i guess? i dont know how to word it, but im 100% up for listening to anyone who wants to explain the thinking behind everything ive mentioned

[septicemic-main]

what do yall think of me redesigning ppls ocs for free on my art blog? i think itd be neato to seeo

[septicemic-main]

my mic on my phone isnt working, yay. i gotta type this.

my mom, grandma and i think i have tonsillitis, and i have never had it before. i have had strep amongst other things, but never tonsillitis. and by far, after just one day and...however many hours of sleep i got, not much...i feel the absolute worst.

it's 2:02 am and everyone is sleeping; my dad just came up stairs a few minutes ago and everyone else fell asleep before me, and ive been in bed this entire time.

at first, waking up, i was drenched in sweat with only 1 layer of blankets on me compared to my usual 4, as i get cold easily. i typically dont have issues with 4 layers, but tonsillitis changed that. 2:04, i just had to put my blankets back over me since my sweat started to freeze. i woke up around 1:47, btw.

also when first waking up, my throat was killing me. i was absolutely unable to swallow or breathe through my mouth, taking a drink of water did not help. thats when my head started pounding at, at this time 1:52, i waddled to the bathroom to pee.

took me a minute to get up, made it downstairs by 1:57, then shakily came back up, by 1:59, after taking excederin migraine. typing was difficult, so i tried to record everything, but my phone mic is broken (with and without headphones/earbuds). 2:02, got on and started typing. i typically type fast and make mistakes, and that was no different.

2:10 am, still typing, but its getting harder. the excederin obviously has not kicked in and my head is more than pounding. i keep getting teary, then my eyes hurt, then it makes my eyes water more. swallowing? not in my dictionary, even been sipping water while typing this.

but how about before i woke up?

had a dream about monarchy. i was a peasant in the royal castle, it was an event, and nobody i knew seemed to be there. off in the distance, cheering rolls in like thunder, and i subconsciously move forward to see why. i make it to the edge of the crowd on my side, as they are split down the middle, and a man in ragged clothing, shackled tight, stands before the crowd. i start to realize the cheering is more like booing, people throwing threats left and right at the man. then, guards, or what look like guards/ knights, come in, swords upright and close to their shoulders. they march uniformly, then cease near the guy, but just barely cover him. from the otherside strolls what i presume is the minister, following the king, queen, and their kids, also following were maids and butlers, seemingly sandwhiching the royal bunch. they dont speak english; instead, its gibberish, and like, actual gibberish, like "gsnorfin yablahg gjörfn." weird as frickle. the man looks apologetically at the royals, who, in turn, share a nasty glare back. the knights then grab the man, hoisting him up onto a guillotine set that had just arrived. the priest climbs the stage, behind the knights, and i think he blesses the man? they then put his head under the guillotine, and before his head is gone...he looks directly at me. the room is silent as he is beheaded, and somehow, his head misses the basket and rolls to me. everyone i staring at me as im quivering in terror, im sobbing, and some others share the feeling with me. the crowd near me and the head clear out, and the priest makes his way towards me. he bows, holding the pose as if something is to happen. i stand there in confusion; a confused, sobbing mess. the royals make their way over, bowing before me as well. the entire room seems to do the same as the head winks at me, whispering, "they think youre special. you were almost next. i did this deliberately; live on, future queen of Exhaltha (sp?)." i blink in terror as the eyes shut on the man, and everyone stares at me, smiling. the king lifts me to his shoulders, and cheers fill the room, as this happens, the knights dispose of the man, and i feel a sudden wave of anger overcome me. as the king places me down, i ask what the man did. the king, speaking broken english, says that he stole and killed his son's to-be-bride, the future queen of their land. i look at the prince, and its rain. i start sobbing again because thats my actual bf??? thats my boy??? and now we're marrying??? rain makes his way to me, grabbing my hands and kissing them, and then...fuckin dream shift, im in another zombie apocalypse as per usual and getting my ass kicked. yay.

also note, the whole royalty scene happens fast compared to what i just typed. so. yeah.

this was long, it's 2:30 now and im sweating again, and my throat still feels gross. head is no longer pounding tho,,,so im gonna sip water and watch a few videos and try to sleep more before i die.

[septicemic-main]

woke up 3 mins before my bus comes so i had to rush to get around,,,not wearing a bra or socks rn and i feel naked. im hella slouching to avoid ppl seeing my tits and im wearing leggings rn. im going to be dresscoded unless i can somehow hide it, even tho im struggling to hide my fuckin boobs. and today's bus ride is 10x bumpier than normal so im REALLY struggling. today? already wanna vomit.

[septicemic-main]

made it to school early ayyy

the muscles in my legs are tight af thooo rip

[septicemic-main]

god i dont wanna be obsessive over my bf but he hasnt responded to my text & i think hes out with his friend nate rn playing combat op but...nate is a crazy driver and its storming really badly rn...and i wanna make sure hes ok...but i dont wanna be clingy uuuuufff—

all throughout combat op, when i was there, all i did was stay near him bc i didnt feel comfy leaving him bc combat op was a lil bit foreign to me...and i just...i feel like im too clingy? and its only been 2 days since we started dating...eeghh...

and he kissed me and made sure i was ok the entire time and like...he also ordered something that was $80 for me??? randomly??? and like i love him for it bc its something hes passionate about and wants me to like what he does which i kinda wanted anyways...but he spent sooo much money on me...and without me asking for it. we were supposed to watch deadpool 2 but i forgot that i dont own an id...yet...so that kinda sucked

but hes treated me so well so far, and when i gave him the biggest oppurtunity to...yano...👀👀👀...he told me while we were walking to starbucks that he didnt wanna because he felt like he was disrespecting my boundaries and my body and i just??? i almost cried bc what a bean...and i dont wanna lose him bc hes my baaaaaaaby and my grandma already loves him, his mom loves me, and soon here our parents were gonna meet...

im just really paranoid...so much in fact that im crying bc im scared hes dead 😥😥😥😓😓😓 i just wanna know that hes safe...

[septicemic-main]

asdfkuhylohuiadsf this guy who dated my friend likes me and im kinda like??? ok ur kinda cute, and the friend said shes ok if we date and im!!! THANK!!!

>didnt wanna ruin our friendship so i asked her if it was ok bc shes v important to me, but her and this guy didnt work out bc she kinda felt like he was annoying but ive known this guy for a while and ive always thought he was kinda cool so ye