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Can’t remember to forget you→ Dark!Peter Parker

Parings: Dark!peter x reader, college AU

Summary: when peter takes a jump to erase your memory, he watches you from a distance as you grow into the person you were always meant to be. Except he wants to be there too and will make you remember

Warnings: NWH SPOILERS, Dark!peter, smut, fighting, peter abuses his strength, blood & bruises, peter being an asshole to the reader, mentions of Felicia Hardy(black cat), peter constantly watching the reader

Wc: 10k

A/n: this is a dark fic with dark themes. What media you consume is your responsibility. Warnings have been placed for your needs and the fic will continue after the read more tab, anything you consume that you are uncomfortable with beyond the warnings and the read more is on you. That being said, eat up whores😁

“Peter Parker.”

The name rolls off your tongue as you read the printed paper to yourself. Your name next to the boys you were meant to do the midterm project with.

For some reason, instead of just a lab worth half of the grade or an ongoing exam to test the knowledge, students of MIT’s physics department had to perform a project on the physics of anything. Anything they wanted. It was meant to be fun, meant to remind you science was all about fun, but your professor, Professor Conners, was the hardest grader in the world. Therefore the project became a stressful event in trying to impress the professor with your concept.

Peter Parker. You had met nearly every student in the lab but Peter Parker was a forgien name. Forgien yet the name sparked an itch in your brain.

“Do you know this person?” You turn to felicia, moving a strand of silver hair from her face she shrugs.

“Nope. I got Brad.” she says with slight distaste in her mouth. Although she despised the man, she had an odd taste for the money he carried with him. Although who didn't? He was a rich kid who had everything paid for by his parents.

“He sounds familiar but I don't know how…” your fingers rub over the name as if you searched for a feeling. There was nothing but smooth printer paper to be met with your fingers. Peter Parker, Peter Parker, Peter–

“There's a lot of Peter Parkers in this world. It's a very common name.” She shrugged and you hummed. She was right, the name meant nothing as you were just meant to be partners for a project that you would try your hardest to keep your ‘A’ with.

“Right.” you sighed as you turned around and found half of the class fleeting the room. Talking and making arrangements with their own partners when your eyes met a boy who clenched his paper and looked up at you with anger.

“Will you be at the dorm tonight?” you asked and felicia had already turned her body around to walk out.

“I have plans, I'll be back by morning. I'll pick up some coffee creamer too! since we're out.” she gave you a quick smile before warming up to brad about the project.

MIT was a large school, you never expected to meet everyone but you knew a good chunk of people. Even if you just stuck to the friend group of yours which consisted of MJ, Ned, Harry and occasionally felicia if she wasn't off doing something, you still knew a lot of people. Peter though…Peter was completely unknown. You had never seen him in your life. It had been half a semester now and your body flushed warm in embarrassment as you had never met him.

“Hi, Im (y/n)?” your words falling out like a question as you come up to him.

He wasn't too tall, he was a perfect height. He wore a bluish flannel that sat tight on top of his shoulders and black jeans as he clenched the backpack. He had the prettiest brown eyes, they had this sort of light yet they were so dark, so so dark. And he had a slight scratch in his brow as if he had been hit. He was intimidating but who was big bad and scary that went to MIT? No one.

“I know.” was all he said. Your blood runs cold but you feel as if you have known him. Convincing yourself you had just seen him in the student center or maybe in a coffee shop, you move on.

“I was thinking we could do something big, you know? I think everyone is going to do something basic like copying newton and apples. We could look into the physics of one of the avengers, like Thor you know? Or we could do something like Dr. Strange or-” you start to ramble and the boy just stares at you like you have said something to hurt him. But once you notice his expression completely changes.

“We should just stick to the physics of roller coasters or something.” he shrugged and you let out a slight laugh.

“Roller coasters? We go to MIT, don't you think roller coasters are a bit…immature?” You tuck hair behind your ear and he looks off to the side with a bit of a half smirk. He shakes his head as he walks past you.

“Immature.” was all he said as if he was repeating your words and moving on. Suddenly your brain panics, still wanting to keep him around so you think of the next best thing that comes to your mind.

“We can do spiderman!” you nearly shout and his shoulders tense up. He turns around and you freeze as his eyes meet yours. “I mean, a lot of it will be theoretical but there has to be some sort of mutation in the genes. Like is he human? Is he an alien? He can climb up walls and his webbing–” you start but he cuts you off.

“That's chemistry.” He says and you swallow hard. “The webbing at least. The genes are biology. We’re going to do a physics project on chemistry and biology?” he questions and you feel stunned.

“Well, no, I mean you're right but…the way he swings, how he is able to know where to swing and how he uses the city as his game board. How he climbs up walls and there is a bit of physics in that…” you try and his eyes squint ever so slightly, as if he plays whatever game you're playing. Although you are not playing any game.

“Why do you like him? He's a vigilant.” he questions and you look off to the side, tugging at the bottom of your cardigan slightly.

“I-I never said I did. But he is a good person, or thing, I don't really know what he is. But he saves people.” you defend and peter lets out a little scoff.

“He’s a murder.” Peter raises his brows.

He wasnt wrong, within the past year the infamous spiderman his murdered more people than he has saved. He had went from saving the city and locking up its criminals to simply murdering them. Over a dozen criminals were found dead under the name of spiderman and no one knew why the sudden change in actions. The worst part was, there was no identity. No person was strong or fast enough to catch the masked man to unmask him and see who he was. What he was.

“He…” you don't even know why you care so much. Maybe it was the idea of a superhero that gave you hope or maybe it was something else. “He still has hope. Ever think about how lonely it must be out there? To have the whole world look at you with such high expectations? It's a lonely feeling Peter, maybe he just needs some help.” You swallow hard and there is this twinkle in his eyes you can't put past. The way his brows furrow slightly but then quickly shape back up.

“well…This is physics, not psychology. We do the webs and that's it.” he turns and you feel defeated.

“Come by my dorm later and we start up?” you say hopefully and he doesn't turn around, all he calls out is ‘yup’ but that is it.

You look down at the project instructions paper that has yours and Peter's name printed at the top. The paper crinkled at the sides from holding it so tight and you feel a pang in your heart as you had hoped maybe felicia would be your partner or maybe someone who isn't so immediately defensive.

Peter Parker. The name mocks you like only the chorus of a shitty song mocks you. The way a ‘B’ on a straight ‘A’ report card mocks you. The way anything you don't like but want to figure out why mocks you. You had sworn you’d seen those brown eyes before, you curse yourself as for some reason you were able to get a perfect score on the SAT, remember your entire highschool graduating class, know the damn periodic table by heart but for some reason some boy is where your brain gets foggy. A simple name is where your brain can't remember where you have seen him.

But you would figure it out, either find a way to push the thought to the back of your head or find a way to know him.

-

Two knocks on your dorm bedroom door startle you as you sit up from your bed. You felt nervous, putting on your cute comfy clothes instead of just an old tee shirt. You don't know why you cared so much as for what Peter saw you in but you did. You did as you opened the door to reveal him in joggers and a tight fitted tee shirt.

Peter didn't look like the type to go to the gym, maybe once a week but never go to build muscle. Just run on the treadmill, lift a few weights and call it an hour. He looked a bit like the type of guy who would…well that was the thing, Looking at peter you didn’t know what he did. It didn’t even look like he would have fun on his own. But right now showed that he clearly was doing something to keep a good figure.

“Hi.” was all you said as your eyes met his. He holds your stare for as long as you let him before you move aside. “Um, come in.” you move aside and he walks in. Your eyes trail over how tight his sweatpants are around his–

“This side yours?” He looked up at the side decorated in twinkling lights while Felicia's side had a few posters of bands and lots of jewelry. You never understood where the girl got all of it from but you never asked, she told you once she had a job at the campus library so you were sure some of the money supported her shopping addiction.

“Uh, yeah, yeah.” you take a seat on the bed and he drops his stuff at your desk before climbing into the bed with you. You can't help but to stare at him, stare while you try to figure him out.

“What is it?” he quickly snaps you out of your thoughts and you shake your head.

“Nothing…it's nothin–what happened to your hand?” you look down at the bruised hand and he quickly runs his hand over the bruises.

“Nothing.”

And that was the end of whatever conversation you two had. Digging your head into theories and studying the physics of how spiderman shoots his webs. He watched you intensely as you knew so much yet so little. He wanted to stop you, wanted you to know that you knew the formula to the webs and that's how they worked so well. That one night, when he was only 14, he crawled to your bedroom window where you helped him create a formula. At the time, you didn't even know why. Thinking it was one of ned and peters stupid projects, you helped him create a sticky substance that turned out to be the one thing needed for spiderman.

Now he wasn't even sure what you remembered anymore. How your life is without him. How many guys have you been with since he had been gone? How many shared memories had you had with Ned without him?

Of course he had watched you, you never closed your blinds anyways. He watches you walk home, laugh on the phone late at night, he had watched the way your hand slipped between your thighs during restless nights and felt his own suit become tight. Fuck, he even watched flash take you to prom, fucking flash of all people.

He was angry, angry that there was no other way. Angry that he had nothing but reminded himself that you had everything. He did this for you, but everything had consequences. His was you.

“Hello?” you wave your hand in front of his face. “Did I lose you?”

That smile, it’s still the same. But he knew that. His eyes never left you, even if you forgot about him he never forgot about you.

He had thought about the way things would go when he meets you again. He thought maybe he would lay it all out and tell you everything, maybe he would start completely over and pretend like he didn’t know you either. He had many, many ways to go about seeing you again but never went through with any of them. It had been about three years for him waiting on this moment. And now he was here and things felt so weird.

“N-no. sorry, i'm just tired.” he lied and you uncrossed your legs. Heavens how he missed those legs, how they looked in his sweatpants, his boxers when you stole them in the night when he wore you out too much.

“Well, then it's a good thing I offered to make coffee.” you smiled and he pushed himself off the bed before you did.

“No, no, let me.” This is when Peter confused you, going from an asshole to gentleman quickly. “Hazelnut with a tad bit of milk, right?” he asked but then immediately regretted it as he saw the confusion in your face.

“Um yeah,” you tilted your head. “How’d you know that?” you asked and he shrugged.

“Popular flavor. I like it too.” he defended himself as he placed the k-cup in the keurig. Grabbing two mugs from the corner he noticed the midtown one and felt a pang in his heart.

“You went to midtown?” he asked and you nodded, already up and stretching your muscles as you felt cramped.

“Oh, yeah.” You smiled and then stopped mid stretch. “Wait, do you know midtown?” you asked and he nodded.

“Um yeah, m-my cousin went there.” he lied and you perked up.

“Ooo! What's your cousin's name? Maybe I know him?” you come close to him and he tense as he looks down to see a perfect view of your cleavage.

If you were still his (y/n) he would know you were doing this to tease him, he would then take you on this half put together ikea side table and cover your mouth as you tried to scream his name. But you weren't his (y/n) anymore. At least not yet.

“Flash thompson.” he lied and immediately mentally palmed himself as he could have went with any other name.

“Oh,” you looked shocked and then furrowed your brows. “That's so funny, i-i went to prom with him. We actually dated for a few months–” he quickly cut you off.

“You dated that prick?” that news he did not know. He thought you just went to prom with him and that was it. “Don't tell me you fucked him too.” his words come out of anger. He immediately regrets them as he sees the confusion and slight fear in your eyes.

There is a moment where no words are shared. Your brows furrowed as you stated at him wondering where the sudden anger came from. Why he snapped like that when he seemed annoyed to even be here moments ago.

“My sex life is none of your buisness peter…” you grabbed the coffee mug from him, blinking a few times trying to register his words and he quickly thinks of a comeback.

“Sorry, I just…he's a complete slut. Like he always has a girl around him and does not respect women. You deserve respect.” he covers and can see the ease as you set down the mug after your first sip.

“Well…he did cheat on me so…i guess you're right on that.” you sit back down on your bed and peter stays over by the coffee waiting for his cup.

“Really?” he can't even play clueless anymore because this is fresh news.

“Yeah, he um…we promised we would give long distance a shot because he goes to yale. I bet you know that already because he's your cousin and all, he was meant to come here but he changed his mind. Anyways, one night I got a video sent to me of him and some girl at a party and I suspected him cheating as he got a lot more distant and yeah. We broke up.” you sigh and this time Peter comes to your side.

“I'm sorry.” he lets his arm wrap around you and you give him a smile.

His arm felt nice, it felt familiar and you—in a way—wanted to sink into his warm touch. His fingers were rough and his knuckles a deep shade of purple, you felt a skip in your heartbeat as his mouth was slightly agape waiting for your next words. Or your next move.

“Its not your fault.” You give him a smile before you say your next words. “We only had sex twice so its not too bad.” you try to joke but it does not reach peter. His body tenses and he moves his hand off you. As if he was suddenly disgusted by your body, you felt a sense of shame when you knew you shouldn’t have. Setting down his mug he gets up and grabs his phone.

“I have to go.” he doesn't look at you, refuses to make eye contact with you as he grabs his notebooks and bags.

“But we haven't even got to the–” before you could finish he was already at the door.

“See you tomorrow (y/n).” was all he said as your door slammed shut so hard your body jumped. You don't know why you had tears in your eyes, opening up to him and then him going right back to the way he was before was something you should have known. You wipe the stray tears, feeling stupid for crying as he was just a lab partner. Someone who you didn't even know existed before this.

Putting away the last of your items, you crawl under the covers as you face the wall. Peter parker. What a sickening name.

-

“Do you want to trade partners?” you ask felicia as she looks up at you in confusion from her bed.

“Um no thanks.” she said and you groan as you flop down on your bed.

Peter would be here at 8. He claimed he had something to take care of before working with you and you knew better than to question at this point. Even though you had only had two meetings with Peter it had felt like you knew him for a lifetime. That was what scared you, what made you want out.

“What's wrong with peter?” she asked and you rub your face.

“He's hard, that's what's wrong with him.” you tell her and she raises her brow.

“Sweetie, normally when a guy is hard that means you need to fuck–” she starts and you shoot up.

“Ew not like that! I mean he’s difficult. Last night I was explaining the theory I had about our project topic and he completely zoned out. Not listening to me at all. So then we made coffee. Well, he made coffee and noticed my midtown mug. He asked me if I went there and I said yeah and then told me he was Flash Thompson's cousin. So I told him we dated and he got all weird. Like he got mad that I dated flash. But then he left when I brought up the fact I had sex with him twice. Like he got angry. I could feel it in his entire energy.” You conclude your rant and she just stares at you in shock. Taking in your words trying to process them just like how you were trying to process them.

“Wow, okay.” she takes it all in. “Maybe he has some sort of issue with his cousin. Happens to the best of us. Or maybe he wants to bang you. Guys like the nerdy innocent girl.” she shrugs and you shake your head.

She was one to talk about guys wanting to fuck. She had the figure most girls would die for and the sex appeal of a Victoria secret model. Her long silver hair that was naturally voluptuous and her breasts that were the perfect shape. Her eyes a sharp crystal blue and her lips a natural pout. She was everyone’s dream, if you didn’t want to fuck her you wanted to be her.

“That's not the weird part. The weird part is that I texted flash saying how I was partners with his cousin. I don't know why I did that, maybe I was just lonely and confused after he stormed out but Flash doesn't have a cousin named Peter parker.” you tell her and her brows furrowed. She sits up fully, putting down her book to pay the full attention to you.

“So he lied?” she asked and you nodded.

“And I didn't even tell you the other weird part, he knew exactly how I liked my coffee…like exactly. Like when he offered to make coffee he knew just how I took it. Felicia, I know I may sound crazy or maybe its just all in my head but I know him, I don't know how or why but I feel like I know him and he knows me too.” you tell her and she looks away to think.

“So you think he's like your soulmate?” she asked and you shook your head.

“Heavens no. But don't you think it's a little strange that we have never heard this name before but he has technically somehow been in my life before?” you question and she sighs getting up.

“He wasn't in your life before, he just lied about being your ex boyfriend's cousin and oddly enough knew how you liked your coffee. Look, men are weird. They say women are unpredictable but I mean look at peter. I don't know what is happening but stay safe. Call me if you need anything. I have to meet up with brad.” she presses a friendly kiss against your cheek before turning to check her hair in the mirror.

She was perfect so of course she was calm about this situation, she was probably used to guys stalking her. At least that's what you might consider everything Peter has done so far.

You gave her a smile as she grabbed her bag and left the room. Waiting exactly for the door or lock before You grab your computer to look up Peter parker. Of course, there are various peter parkers in this world. Old, young, married, single, but no Peter Parker that is your partner. No social media, no parent name, no highschool record, nothing. He simply did not exist. A chill ran down your back as you pushed your computer off your lap, a knock at your door causing you to jump.

“It's me, peter?” His voice is deep and you quickly close out of the tabs you were using to look him up. You open up the door and this time he does not wear a tight shirt, rather a sweatshirt and sweatpants. He has a cut on his cheek which immediately makes you worry.

“What happened?” You look at the cut that looked pretty deep.

“Cut myself.” he said the obvious answer and you roll your eyes as he walks past you and shut the door.

“Obviously, but how?” you asked. You remember his anger from last night and hoped that nothing had to do with you.

“I just…dropped my phone on my face, I'm clumsy like that.” he lied and you hummed. You didn't want to push it. You had a project to do and you could easily do it yourself but Professor Connors knew when the work was single handedly done. You could not just take over and slap Peter's name on half of it.

“How did you know what dorm I was in?” you blurt, realizing you never told him where he could find you. He turns around, pulling his tangled charger from his bag as he swallows hard.

“You told me yesterday, remember?” he responded and you shook your head.

“No, I didn't, I just told you to come by my dorm.” you told him with a furrowed brow look, crossing your arms as you interrogated him.

“Yes you did.” he lied. He hated lying to you but that was all he could do. “Are you feeling okay?” he turns it against you. It was a smart enough move as you break contact with him and he feels a sense of relief.

‘I guess I’m just stressed…I…I have a lot on my plate right now.” you hum and peter only joins you on the bed as he feels better about today.

“Want me to make some tea for you?” he offered and you shook your head.

“Okay…I thought maybe we could interview spiderman somehow…I have a friend who is a journalist, Harry is really smart and maybe he could–” you start and peter whips his head up and immediately shows his distaste in the idea.

“You want to interview a murder?” he argues and you sigh.

“Hes not a murder, pete.” the nickname slips so easily and it warms his heart. God he missed it.

“I think killing people without reason is murder.” he argues and you take a seat on your bed.

“They're criminals–”

“Maybe they had families–”

“Maybe spiderman has a family too–”

“He doesn't!” Peter snaps and you look at him with confusion.

“Peter, do you know him?” you ask and he shakes his head.

“Forget it.” he tells you as he opens up the book. Your mouth falls open to argue back and his jaw clenches. “I said forget it (y/n).”

And so you do. Huffing, you lean back on the bed while Peter gets the papers out and the books ready. He looks over at you as you watch his every move. He knows you're analyzing him and he hates it. Not because he hates your eyes but because he knows how the spell worked, you can never figure it out on your own. You will die with never remembering him the way he remembers you. Strange told him he could make new memories, he could make you remember parts but you will never know him fully. Not the way you used to.

“Where did you get this?” He holds up the expensive bracelet, the one that looked familiar to the missing one from the museum robbery that he was at the other night watching another masked vigilante get away.

“Felicia got it for me, I don't know.” you tell him as you snap the led from the pencil from writing too hard in the notebook. You chose not to bring up Flash, not tonight. Not after needing to do work.

And so your night begins. You both do your work with no conversation. You think about how you would rather sit in Brad's expensive apartment like Felicia right now. Listen to him complain about his family trip to the Bahamas, But no. You are with Peter Parker, the man that quite literally did not exist until last week when you were assigned with him.

“Does your head hurt?” he asked as he noticed you rubbing it for the third time.

“A little.” you tell him and he sits up. “What are you doing?” you ask as he starts up the keurig.

“Mint tea and ibuprofen. It will cure a headache.” he tells you. This was where you got confused, Peter getting upset with you and now wanting to cure your headache.

“How are you so sure I have mint tea?” you fall back on your pillow and he doesn't turn around.

“Because it's your favorite.” he says and your eyes shoot open. You sit up on the bed and look over at him.

“How did you know that?” you asked and he turned around to look at your confused figure. He realizes, you're in his shirt. His shirt that you stole, that was his midtown shirt and you wore no bra. His midtown shirt ran right over your bare breasts. His shirt that you had no idea–

“Where did you get that shirt?” He points and you look down.

“Highschool.” you told him. “I went there, remember?” A simple answer, it was fair game.

“Who gave you that shirt?” maybe he could do it, maybe his small hope was right. The spell was strong but you were stronger. He could trick you into remembering, he could make you remember. He was going to make you remember.

“A friend, I don't know. It was in my closet okay? Why do you care?” You asked him but that was enough questions. You would learn very quickly Peter did not like you asking him a bunch of questions.

“Peter.” you stand up. This time your eyes never leave his back. “How did you know mint tea was my favorite?” You ask and he turns around with the mug in his hands.

“Because you have two boxes of it. No one has two boxes of their least favorite tea.” he says. You sigh, finally breathing again as you take the mug from him.

Though it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough that he knew everything else. He lies about being flashes cousin, he knows your favorite coffee, knew your dorm when you swore you didn't tell him, he knows your favorite tea, has no records of social media or anything. He was a dead end. He could be dead somewhere for all you know.

“Where did you grow up peter?” you ask, trying to start light conversation to get to know him more.

“Queens.” he answered and you hummed.

“What high school did you go to?” you asked him and he stays silent.

“I did online school, my aunt preferred that I stayed home.” he lied. He knows you can see right through it.

“So what? You excelled in online school and then got into MIT?” You didn't mean to insult but most kids went to a school where they at least had to compete in some club, be in some band or extracurricular, have teachers recommend them. It was more than just an acceptance letter. Everyone in the school either worked their ass off or was a really good manipulator.

“Yeah. I did an internship for a few summers.” he was honest there, although he could not drop the name tony stark.

“Oh,” you looked off trying to think of more questions. “So it was just you, your aunt and uncle?” you asked and he shook his head.

“My uncle died when I was young, my aunt passed away a few years ago too.” he told you and suddenly you felt sorry for him.

“What about your parents?” you asked and he looked off.

“Died when I was young. '' he told you and maybe this wasn't the direction you wanted to go but it was needed. It was the direction you needed to go.

“So how long have you been on your own?” you asked and he looked up with you sad eyes. His eyes watered and you set your mug down. Coming closer not meaning to make him sad, not meaning to bring up old memories for him that clearly needed to be forgotten.

“Can we change the topic?” he asked and you nodded. Your fingers came up to wipe the stray tears, you were so close. So close to figuring out who he was. You were so close to him. His lips pink and they look soft. You didn't realize how much he smelt of oak and a hint of ocean salt, his skin was warm as he looks down at your lips before looking at your eyes.

“Peter…” you try and speak but his hand comes around to the back of your neck. His other hand rests on your waist as he pulls you close.

“Shhh…” he hushes you and you cant help yourself, leaning in you feel his lips against yours. His kiss is slow at first, his lips, his taste, all so familiar before you can even process that he has pushed you down on the bed. Hes strong, a lot stronger than he looks. Muscles only looked so sharp from your eyes but feeling his weight on top of yours was like you were trapped but it was oddly comforting.

His kisses became harsher, you couldn't remember him. Couldn't remember anything. His lips felt so good as they trail down your neck and his hand made their way up your shirt. His fingers large as they slide right under your bare breast when you couldn't take it, it was too much and it needed to stop.

“Peter.” At first, it comes out as a strangled moan. It feels so good but so wrong. You weren't like this, you didn't do one night stands and you certainly did not hook up with people who annoyed you. Although, He doesn't hear you, or if he does he doesn't stop.

“Shhh, baby, I know.” he hums and your eyes fall on him, your body begging you to stop talking but your mind knows it's wrong.

“Peter, please, please I…” your voice trails off as he pinches your nipple which causes you to gasp.

“I missed this…” he kissed gently at your clothed breast and you immediately opened your eyes.

“Peter, stop.” you tell him, your hands go to his arms and he doesn't hear you. “Peter!” you say again but nothing.

“Peter get off!” this time he gets off of you as quickly as he can. You pull your knees up to your chest, trying to get away from not exactly him but his words. I missed this. Haunts your mind.

“i-I have to go.” he gets up. He doesn't bother to gather his work, he leaves his papers and notes for you to have. He simply grabs his laptop and backpack.

“No, Peter, wait, we can talk about this–” you start as you get up, realizing it was just too fast. You didn't want him to leave. Not when you were so close.

“I'm sorry. I really am.” he says as he pushes his way past you.

When he opened the door it was so quick the way it hit the back wall made the mirror that hung gracefully fall and shatter to the floor. Your gasp makes Peter's heartbreak as this was his second chance. His chance not to fuck things up. His chance to make things right and maybe you not knowing him was always for the better and he could never go back to the thing were before. Before didn't exist to anyone anyways.

“Who are you?” you furrow your brows and he gives you one last look before he is running off. Down the hall where everyone on your floor has seemed to open up and watch the show.

Whoever Peter Parker was, you officially wanted to stay the hell away from him.

-

“I would like to request a partner change.”

Monday and Wednesdays are when you situate yourself in Professor Conner's classroom for physics. It had been about a week since Peter's outburst and you had not seen or heard from him since. Everyone you asked for his information gave you nothing. He was a dead end as far as you knew. No one knew where he lived, no one knew his number or social media. He was a dead end truly.

So it was no surprise when you had furiously requested a partner change for Peter parker. Interrupting Professor Connors and his lunch break was something you would normally never do but you needed this more than anything. Peter was something that needed to be changed.

“Mrs.(y/l/n), my office hours are from 1-” before he can finish you slam down the instructions paper on his desk.

“I know when office hours are but you really need to understand this, Peter Parker is impossible to work with. He doesn't show up to our meetings, he has not given me any contact info. He doesn't work on this project with me. This will affect my grade if he does not work with me and he hasn't been.” You say in a huff. You watch as your professor picks up the paper, examining it over as he reads your work done so far.

“Impressive, ‘the spiderman’ I would be more impressed if you could do a study on the DNA.” he says as he sets down the paper and you groan.

“Professor Connors, with all due respect, I do not care about my project topic right now I care about switching out peter.” you say annoyed and He leans back in his chair. Looking you up and down.

“I don't understand, Mr. Parker is not only one of my better students, passing every test flawlessly and even expanding my theories when I ask for you all to do lab reports, but he requested you as a partner.” he says with furrowed brows. You can't help but to return the same confusion.

“I have never met Peter Parker in my life until last week.” you tell your professor who seems to just shrug.

“Well, I hate to break it to you Mrs. (y/l/n) but all project duos have been set in place. I had given the class two days to make their changes to who they wanted to work with or not work with. You will have to work with Mr. Parker and if I do not see equal work from both of you it will result in a poor grade. I am deeply sorry. I do expect strong work from the both of you.” was all he said before taking a bite of the kale and tuna salad that made you want to vomit.

“Okay.” was all you said as you picked up the paper and brought it with you out of the office.

Not only was Peter Parker invisible to you, you were not invisible to him. He had been in your dorm, made you coffee and tea, felt your lips against his and even touched you. You thought about how he was always watching you but you were never watching him.

“Did you do it?” Felicia asks, dropping a necklace on her desk. One she was polishing as that seemed to be a habit of hers. You never asked, she was a great roommate and an okay friend. That's all you could ask for in college sometimes.

“No.” You told her and she gives you a pout.

“Sorry babe. Maybe you just finish up the work and leave it at that, your grade wont drop too much.” she encourages and you give her a half smile.

Although that wasn't enough, Peter now flooded your mind and all you thought about was him. You thought about the kiss, how it felt like you had done it before. How when peter came in with a scratch on his cheek it was like you had opened the door for him before in that exact situation but peter was just peter. Very strange and somewhat of an asshole, he was peter. It was more than just a project at this point. It was knowing hm.

“Earth to (y/n)?” felicia waves her hand to you.

“Sorry, yeah.” you respond as you change out of your shirt.

“I asked what your project was on.” she says as she takes her necklace and continues to clean it.

“spiderman, physics of spiderman.” you tell her and she looks up.

“Really? That guy?” she says and you look up at her.

“Yes, that guy. Why does everyone hate him?” you ask as you slide on an old AC/DC shirt. The shirt oddly enough smelt slightly like Peter but you had had it for so long you assumed you just thrifted it or maybe stole it from Harry and the manly smell never washed out. But the oak and salt…

“I don't hate him, he's just annoying. But kinda hot. Concept of the mask…kinda sexy.” she says as she gets up to go over to the newly placed mirror, fixing her hair like she's getting ready as well.

“What? You know him personally?” you ask and she shakes her head.

“No, I would rather claw my eyes out than know him personally.” she has a sly smirk but you don't care. You only care about getting drunk tonight and forgetting everything that has happened in the past week. You had never felt so stupid in your life until you met peter, constant state of confusion and deja vu.

“Where are you going?” Felicia asks as she watches you get yourself ready.

“Harry invited us out for drinks. You coming?” you ask and she shakes her head.

“I would but I have…the project.” she presses her lips into a thin line feeling bad for you and you hum.

“I don't want your pity party felicia.” you give her a smile. “It's just…you've never known peter parker before?” you ask her to make sure and she shakes her head no.

“No, I didn't even know he was in our physics lecture and lab. I don't know what his deal is at all. He's an asshole for breaking our mirror, he owes us $20 by the way.” she hums and you nod, at least you could say you tried one more time before giving up.

“Okay, yeah, um..see you later then.” you smiled before slipping out the door and that would be the last moment of the night where you thought of peter parker.

-

The October breeze kissed your skin as you walked home. Mj, your dd, wanted to walk you back to your dorm but you promised the 10 minute walk was nothing she had to worry about. The bar hadn't been too far and it was exactly what you needed for your mind to get off of peter.

The boy hadn't slipped into your mind once as you downed shots and let loose for once. You found yourself not stressed for the first time in a week. But as things start to make sense again for just a moment, they are ruined.

Across the street, walking in your direction, Peter Parker has his hands shoved into his pockets as he breaks eye contact with you quickly. It's almost like he's blended into the crowd and maybe it's your semi drunken state that takes over but it gets the best of you as you angrily walk over to him.

“You.” you point as you push through the crowds of college students and walk straight up to him.

“(y/n)?” he immediately takes notice of your shirt. His shirt that he gave you whilst you two were dating. When you were in Europe and forgot to pack more pjs, peter lent you one of his sleep shirts. May overpacked for him, even though he was old enough, responsible enough, to pack for himself may still have shoved his bag full of clothes. You looked pretty in it then, you looked pretty in it now.

“Where have you been? You have no contact information, no one knows who you are and you left me all alone with this stupid stupid project–” you start to ramble and he cuts you off.

“You’re drunk.” He raises his brows and you continue to yell. People left and right stare and peter can’t help but to feel uncomfortable.

“I don’t even know why you hate spiderman so much but we’re doing him and I need an ‘A’ if I want to get an internship next summer! I know you don’t fucking care but I do! I care about myself and I tried to care about you—“ he cuts you off again.

“We need to talk in private.” he grabs your arm and pulls you away from the crowds of people into a dimly lit alley.

“Are you going to kill me? After stalking me for however long, nearly fucking me, what kind of sick person are you? Was I not enough? Did I get too boring?” you ask and he shakes his head as you yell at him.

“You could never be boring (Y/n).” he tells you and you use your little strength to push him before you find yourself leaning against the brick wall exhausted of him.

“I know you're not flash Thompson's cousin, I know you're not. I asked him about you and he had never heard your name in his life. You lied to me. Which I don't even care that you're a liar peter, I dont. But you get upset over my ex boyfriend who you had never met, you know my dorm room and I know I did not tell you which room i was in because I have an impeccable memory. You know my favorite drinks and you seem to know way too much about my life so peter what the fuck is going on!” Your voice feels raw and your brain feels fuzzy as he looks at you with hurt in his eyes.

“This was all a mistake.” was all he said and you furrow your brows as he turns to walk away and you quickly grab his arm but he moves out of the way. You fall back onto the brick wall, letting your head rest there instead of falling over to scream at him some more.

“You're in-fuckinng-sane Peter Parker. You know, I went to professor Connors and asked for a change and you know what he told me? He told me you requested me. You wanted to be my partner. Why? Why me? Why do you want to hurt–”

The last nerve was struck with Peter, he never wanted to hurt you. Not again. He had already ruined your life once, a life you don't even remember. He ruined it and now he was trying to make it better, make it better with himself in it but you were clueless and he was tired of playing games. Tired of being so lonely after chasing you around like a cat chasing a mouse.

The thwip of webbing makes your heart nearly stop. Your whole body freezes as your hand that had been raised to yell at peter, maybe even hit him one more time had been webbed down to the brick wall. The same webbing you had been doing your project on, the same webbing you had been trying to figure out how it works. Spiderman. Peter didn't want to do spiderman because he was spiderman.

“I have wasted the past three years of my life watching you live yours.” he starts, his body close to yours as your chest rises in fear as you try to use your other hand to get him away put he quickly webs that one down too.

His eyes dark, they weren’t the soft brown ones they were when he talked about his family or the ones that wanted to kiss you. These ones were raw, rough and did not care about anything.

“The past two years of my life I had watched you forget who I am. and i was forced to live mine because I fucked up so badly the only way to fix everything was to make you forget. I was surprised, truly surprised at how stupid you were to not figure it out. You were the smartest girl I have ever met, you didn't get into MIT at first because of me.” his words come out as a choke. “You worked your ass for for the past four years of highschool because you wanted to be here and you had every right to but I fucked everything up for you so I fixed it because I love you. I went to midtown, I dated you, you were my best friend and so was ned, mj was there too and she was amazing. You were mine.“ he spits out, tears well at your eyes and you are no longer drunk but maybe asleep because this felt like a dream, no, a nightmare.

“And look at you,” his hands clutch the bottom of the shirt, “you’re wearing my fucking shirt and you don’t even know that it’s mine.”

Your heart pounds, you hate yourself in this moment. Wanting more than anything to be understanding but you aren't sure if you can. You can't even form a proper sentence.

“Spiderman. Y-you're spiderman.” was all you said and he took a step back, letting out a laugh at your words.

“Did you not listen to a single thing I had just said?” he looks at you and you look over at the webs that handle you.

“Let me go peter.” you swallow your tears and he shakes his head.

“I can't do that right now.” he tells you and you look up and he touches your cheek slightly. He causes you to look him straight in the eyes. “You don't remember a single thing do you?” you shake your head and he sighs.

“Your kiss, it felt familiar but that was it. Peter…we don't know each other. I knew everyone in my graduating class. Mj, ned they don't know you. I asked. I have been trying to figure you out for the past week Peter but there was nothing but I can tell you now we did not know each other ever. Please peter…” you look up at the webbing and he looks over at it too. “You either let me go and we can figure this out together or you leave me here and I scream for help, make up some story that spiderman came to help me and we never speak again. I finish the project on both of our behaves and that is that. Peter, I-I don't know what is happening right now so I need you to decide.” you try and convince. There was a faint sense, a ringing in his mind as he looked at your distressed state. There was something in you that could remember, he sensed it.

You didn't believe him, you would never believe him and that was something strange told him when the spell was being cast. He would have to make new memories with you. He would have to live knowing everything you two had done for each other and you would live without those memories. They would only live as deja vu instead of real memories and no matter how hard he tried to get you to remember the memories would never be like before.

He wasnt the peter parker you loved anyways, he was a murderer, he killed people out of anger. You had said he was lonely, you knew he was lonely and now he was making you feel like his prey as he caught you in his web.

His hand comes to your hand. He pulls the webbing and some of the brick out of the wall, freeing you from the grasp. Freeing you from his hold. You look at him with hope and worry as you keep your distance between him. He needed help, you cursed yourself for your nurturing nature but peter knew that was in you always and he was willing to tak your help.

“We went to Europe together, our summer going into senior year and it was supposed to be the best summer of our lives. You and I had been dating for three months, we didnt tell anyone yet and it was the hardest secret I had which was stupid because you know…” you looked at him with such intensity as he told his story. It gave him hope.

“Mysterio was a guy who had tricked me, he had caused the destruction of the London bridge and he leaked my identity to the public. Everyone knew who I was, who Spiderman truly was. Dr Stephen Strange, he had offered to help me forget. He cast a spell but the spell…its really messy and its not worth explaining since you don't remember but I had to give up everyone who loved and cared about me. I thought there was another way. A way I could keep you but I couldn't. I couldn't keep you, I couldn't keep mj, ned or anyone in my old life. I lost my aunt may because of who I was, I lost a lot of people for who I was. Who I am. I was right when I said I was a murderer (y/n) I murder people and when we were in your dorm and you defended spiderman so hard I thought maybe you would still remember. But i'm not a hero. Not anymore.” he concludes his rant and you look down at the webbing, your hands come to rip it off and he only watches in confusion as you play with the dissolving substance.

“You created that formula for me.” He gave you a half smile and your eyes met his.

In your truth, his words were forigen. You were only scared and using the last of your calmness to escape the situation that you feared could be ten times worse. You went to Europe but there was never a peter parker, although his words made no sense, the shirt you wore was never yours and did smell like him but it in no way could be his. It would be Harry's or it would be Ned’s. Or maybe you thrifted it and it was all too much. Too much thought.

“You didn't want to work on spider-man because you are spider-man.” you look up and can see the defeat in his eyes. Those weren't the words he wanted you to say and you knew it.

“I need you to remember. You're all I have left.” his eyes had tears that matched your own. You felt yourself sniffle as you came up and touched his cheek.

You were right, he didn't have anyone. Spiderman didn't have anyone and maybe you wouldn't find out tonight as to why he killed. Why he did what he did but you would have to find out eventually. Even if he was just crazy. He was crazy and you would have to deal with that for your own safety.

“Peter, I'm sure you've had a hard life. Your parents are gone, your uncle and now aunt are gone. I'm sure it's hard. I'm so sorry and i'm willing to help you but I cant remember and if your words…” you trail off. “If your words are what you say they are then help me remember. Make me remember.” you sniffle and for once his eyes meet with yours in hope. Your eyes meet his and his hand wraps around your waist carefully as he pulls you closer to him. Your forehead rests against his and his lips hover over yours.

“I thought your life would be better without me in it.” he breathes against your lips. “And maybe it was, maybe it was and I screwed it up entirely. Again. But my life is not better with you out of it. I need you.” was all he said and you nodded and swallowed back your tears.

“Then make me remember.” you pleaded.

His grip against your waist suddenly felt tight as you were no longer on the ground. But rather in the air, attached to his hip you swung through the city until you were met with the window of a small apartment right outside of the college campus.

He allowed you in through the window first. The place was tiny and empty. It didn't feel like a home but then again, peter parker didn't really have a place to call home.

You didn't get a chance to look around any longer before his lips were on yours. his lips, the feeling that was so familiar and so forgien. The feeling was so addictive. He was like a drug. The way he kissed you was like his hands had been the places they were before, he knew your body more than you knew your own. Your hands travel up into his hair, the curls soft and familiar. A whole night dedicated to forgetting Peter parker was now dedicated to remembering him.

“You liked it when I did this.” he kissed right below your ear, a soft moan left your lips and you tug slightly at his hair causing him to hum in bliss.

“And when I did this…” he let his hands slide under your shirt, slowly running up your sides as he peppers kisses down your sides and you feel his touch was so much. It was so much and it truly did feel like something worth remembering but you couldn't remember where, how you knew it.

“Peter I–” you start and he gently pushes you down onto his bed.

“I know, I know…” he hums as he trails down your body and you stop to tug at his shirt, to pull off his shirt.

When the white tee comes off, you are faced with a plethora of bruises and cuts. littering his abdomen you feel fear all over again. Remembering he was the Spider-man, he was right when he told you he was a murderer but that was different. That was when spiderman was just a masked person swinging around the city. Not the man on top of you kissing over your body, claiming to have known you and your friends your entire life.

“Peter you're hurt…” you try to say but he ignores your words. Slipping off your shirt and revealing the red lace bra that drove him crazy. You were just as perfect as he remembered.

No words were shared as he tore off your clothes and he tore off yours. Your whole body is warm and tingly as he slips inside you without warning. Allowing you to adjust to him for a brief moment before thrusting in and out. Your nails sink into his biceps, creating new marks as he places kisses into your neck, littering marks you wouldn't be able to hide in the morning.

His one hand supporting your thigh wrapped around his waist while his other pressed against your head. His strength was unbearable as he thrusts in and out, his eyes flickering to meet yours, his eyes that were filled with tears, the eyes of a man who had everything and then nothing all at once.

He watches your head fall back as you cum, squeezing him tight; he is not far after you as he collapses on top. He kisses gently at your temple before sliding out of you and your eyes do not immediately meet his, instead, your eyes stare at the crack in the ceiling that has been covered up by webs. A sly smile came to your face as everything that happened could not be real, it must've all been a sick dream and you were about to wake up.

“It was leaking…so I had to fix it…” he told you and you let out a laugh before looking at his torso. “Listen i…” he starts and your lips meet his. Stories were enough for the night, you couldn't listen to anymore. You just needed to wrap your brain around him. That was it.

“I can't remember your stories Peter, I can't. But you're going to tell me everything that happened. Everything that happened to you, to us, why I can't remember you and I don't care how many times I have to hear it to understand it. I meant it when I said spiderman gives hope. He does. But no one is giving him hope.”

You slipped out of the bed, slipping back on the AC/DC shirt and underwear as he sits up in his bed watching you walk over to his bathroom. He watches you crouch under the sink and pull out what he had of a first aid kit.

“You did a shit job of patching yourself up, bug boy.” you wave the bottles in your hands and he grows a sly smirk as that was the first time he had heard that nickname in forever.

You would listen, make him sit down on the counter and work on all of his cuts while you listened. And then you listened again. You made him tell each story at least three times to make sure he wasn't lying before finally you believed him. Not fully, there were too many gaps in your brain, things that did make sense and things that didn't make sense. You would be in peters apartment until sunrise listening to him make you remember. Listening to him remembers you in ways you never even knew him.

But like you told him, if you couldn't remember on your own then he would make you remember. If peter couldn't make you remember then you sure as hell would not be able to forget him after this.

#dark!peter

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