Isaiahâs name crackled through the comms. No answer. A full minute bled out, thick with uncertainty.
Then: âYeah, we cleared the area.â
Isaiahâs voiceâIsaiahâsâcame back casual, almost playful, like calling a trick shot in a pool hall.
Confusion flickered through the channel. Theyâd watched him and his partner go down moments before. The metal corruption had swallowed them whole.
âYou spotted nothing?â the operator pressed, sounding like someone trying to untangle a magic trick.
âExactly nothing,â he replied, too warm, too innocent, sitting right on the edge of guilt.
Comms couldnât verify who they were speaking toâIsaiah or the thing wearing him. The uncertainty hollowed their tone.
â...Alright. Head home, then. Your friends are waiting. Theyâve missed you.â
A confession disguised as kindness.
âYes sir.â
The body on screen lifted the camera, and as soon as the monitor went black, its shape warped. Flesh rippled. Bones moved like they were trying to remember how to fit together.
âIâll be back in a sec,â the voice said, sliding into the commsâIsaiahâs real commsâbefore shutting them off.
-------------
âYou know damn well they donât accept your kind there,â the real Isaiah whispered. His consciousness flickered like a dying signal.
âI didnât know humans could be racist toward alien species,â the creature mused. It knelt beside the fallen legends and began to eat. Wet, tearing sounds filled the cavern. Isaiah flinched at every snap of bone.
âYou learn something new every day.â
The creature rose and turned toward him. Isaiahâs breaths hitched as it seized his arms, bit deep, and drank. The transformation rolled outwardâhis height, his posture, his voiceâeverything reshaped into a grotesque reflection. Only the eyes betrayed it: bright, toxic pink, glowing like slug venom.
âWhat are you going to do now?â the creature asked, sounding horribly close to him.
âJust⊠end me.â Isaiahâs voice was thin, trembling.
âHow about no.â
His crewâbroken, mangled, deadârose behind him. Their movements were wrong. Their silence worse.
âWhat the hellâŠâ Isaiah whispered as his corrupted double looked on, fascinated by its own necromancy.
âYou know what to do, boys.â
The thing strolled toward the tunnel exit while the reanimated legends lurched forward.
âYouâll pay for this. You knââ
Teeth found his throat. Then his skull. A true death.
------------------------------------------
Everyone treated Isaiahâs return like a resurrection.
He was welcomed home as the âsole survivor of the Cave Incidentââa name that made most legends shrug, and made Seraphim and Volkov mutter, âThat freaky place where the living spawn of Satan lives.â Morbid affection, but affection all the same.
They threw a party. Cake, decorations, and his favorite comfort foods: tacos and hotdogs. Kaya practically vibrated with joy as she handed him a plate stacked with both, the icing message reading sorry your friends died.
Isaiah stared. She panicked.
âIt was Raymanâs ideaâokay it was my idea, but he said it was funny and meaningful at the same timeâlook, Iâm sorry if itâs weirdââ
He raised his hands to calm her. The imposter didnât dare touch the food. Human meals were poison to his species; if the room knew that, heâd already be dead.
âItâs fine,â he said gently. âReally, itâs justââ
âEVERYONE, WE GOT MAJOR NEWS!â
A blonde girl burst through the doors carrying a bundle of bones and hair. Before questions even formed, Azoth stormed forward, resurrecting the remains in a swirl of undead flame.
The skeleton turned its hollow gaze across the room.
âWho here⊠is a faker?â
It raised an accusing arm.
â...KaâŠyaâŠâ
It pointed not at Kaya, but the wall behind her.
Brynn and Azoth exchanged a look that practically said, thatâs not right, before Azoth flicked an arrow and dropped the undead.
âOkay, so we might have gotten the wroââ
âWrong about what?â Isaiah cut in, stepping to Kayaâs side with a forceful protectiveness that startled everyone.
âWrong that this innocent girl had anything to do with what happened to my team?â
Brynn tried to correct herself. âI didnât meanââ
âOh, finish accusing the girl who was here the whole time, while my entire crew died and I barely made it out alive?â His anger simmered just low enough to justify itself.
The hall murmured in agreement. Someone threw a tomato. Then another. Soon Brynn was driven out under a rain of produce and half-shouted insults.
Why Darkhearts made itself my least favourite YA book within the first half of it: a summary, review, and rant.
this is 2k words, please be advised before continuing lol.
Before we get into the book itself, let's talk about the author, James L. Sutter. Sutter is more known for being the co-creator of Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, acclaimed as the second most popular TTRPG, right next to D&D. Which is an amazing accomplishment in itself. According to the acknowledgements at the end of DarkHearts, and his Wikipedia page, this is his first ever YA novel, not to mention first ever queer romance novel. But I still have a vendetta against this book, so let's get into why.
You're introduced to the characters at their mutual friend, Elijiah's, funeral. The main character, David Holcum (17), refers to Eli as his enemy in the first line. Then, the romantic interest Chance Ng (18) (stage name Chance Kain) is introduced as Eli's best friend, and, quote, "America's favourite asshole". It becomes clear that Chance and Eli were famous, the book states that celebrities showed up to Eli's funeral, and this is when you get the mention of the band, Darkhearts.
This is where I get sick of explaining it by when the facts are introduced, but you get the shtick now, right? Spoilers beyond this point.
On page 5 (I'll be telling you which pages so you have an idea of the pacing) Chance is upset over Eli and says "How could you just leave us?" then leaves the basement he and David are talking in. Of course, David spins this whole thing on him, thinking 'The same way you both left meâ.
Might not seem too bad, I mean, it could've been worse than I'm making it seem, so let's summarize.Â
On page 7, it's revealed David left the band on his own. He left the band by himself, on his own accord. So. he's comparing his best friend's suicide due to alcoholism caused by the pressures of childhood fame to his leaving a band at the age of 14. This is when I started to hate David Holcum.
They introduced Ridley McNeill, David's best friend, who is a black girl (her race is brought up a lot, actually) who is obsessed with Chance and Darkhearts. And I mean obsessed. When she's not talking about Chance she's making film references. It made no sense as to why David would be friends with someone obsessed with his supposed enemy but to each their own.
Skipping to page 59. Ridley and David are given VIP tickets to Eli's tribute concert, which David agrees to go to. It's not that important, but it is a sign that David is hating Chance a little less. Three days later, David asks Chance to go golfing at a pop-up punk mini golf place (a mouthful), to which Chance is afraid to be recognised. David immediately starts being a dick about it, saying he's "not THAT famous", and he ends up telling him to forget it, but Chqance agrees to go.
Does David sound a bit narcissistic to anyone else?
Also, this is the first time I fully realized Sutter doesn't know how kids talk over text. In comparison to Alice Oseman (bless her entire soul), it's horrible. In 'Loveless', one of my favourite Oseman books, the conversations over text between all the characters, especially Rooney and Georgia, felt directly out of my Instagram DMs. David and Chance's texts felt like I was reading my 50-year-old mom's Messanger conversations. I'll talk more about this later.
Page 90, Chance invites David over to work out together (do cis guys do that? Is that a bro thing I'm not familiar with?), and while doing sit-ups, David has the thought "You could kiss him right now". Okay. I liked this part. A bit fast, not a lot of buildup, but it was a good line. David soon leaves because Chance is busy, and is left with the fact he has feelings for Chance.
I guess it makes sense it'd move this fast, childhood friends and all, but I still feel like there could've been more build-up surrounding it. A little bit more spice.Â
Page 99, leading into chapter 10, Chance texts David while Ridley and he are hanging out and asks if he can come to pick him up. Ridley convinces him to say yes and he goes. Chance asks him to "just drive", and David ends up going far enough to where they don't have cell reception.
Here, Chance reveals the record company is pushing him to make an album, even though Eli hasn't even been gone for a month. Chance vents about being scared to lose his fame, and everything he and Eli built, and obviously David doesn't like this. Especially his use of the phrase "a has-been at eighteen".
David goes off on Chance, saying he doesn't see Chance as a friend and all this is just "reliving [his] middle-school highlights reel". Chance says he was trying to rebuild bridges and that David can't go five minutes without being jealous. True. Go off, Chance, you deserve it my little blorbo.
Chance reveals he would've let David back in the band afterwards, and that he wanted him back. They fight more. Physically. A little vaguely homoerotic, but whatever. They call a truce, and Chance bursts into tears.
He says he killed Eli, and David freaks out internally. David ends up comforting him, etc etc, they're sitting in the dirt hugging. Then they kiss circa page 114. Whoo?
After reading this, it seems everything went a bit fast. I wish we could've seen an excerpt of Chance's point of view on this because all of it seems to go by really fast once you look back on the actual pacing of it all.
They go back, and David's dad is pissed because he stayed out until 3 am, he's grounded.Â
Page 134, he gets ungrounded and goes swimming with Chance in a secluded pond. They come to the consensus it's a date, then there's, uh, how do I explain this? Smut. Sort of. Just the build-up, and then they decide not to go farther, but damn it caught me off guard.
Halfway through the book now, and I regret making this so long.
Page 141, Chance's manager, Ben, sees them kissing and immediately says Chance has to hide it because of his audience. Bullshit, first of all! MCR probably got more popular because of the Frerard shipping, not to mention the shipping in P!ATD and FOB. Being openly queer generates a whole different audience, a kinder one. But this cishet man can't see that and tells Chance to keep it quiet.
David decides to not tell Ridley they're dating. Valid.
Page 152, David invites Chance over to his house and shows him the woodshop. Realising now that I haven't said anything about David's dad being a construction worker. Oops. It's mentioned David wants to do a fellowship instead of college somewhere. Keep that in mind.
They homoerotically cut wood. That's all I'm saying about this part. Chance awkwardly sits on David's bed to watch a movie and spoiler alert: they have sex. If it counts as that? It's just (putting this awkwardly) hand stuff. And fade to black. Sort of. I officially hate smut. Goodnight.
A few pages later, they're on a date again. They talk about them and their sexualities, and it wasn't that cringe. Actually liked this bit. David then takes Chance to a church he and his father's crew are doing renovations on and takes him up to the bell tower.
David mentions rejoining Darkhearts. Woah. Chance is on the fence about it. Nervous it'll make them hate each other again. David gets mad. David reminds me of my mother at this point. Chance agrees to the idea after some yelling. Whoo?
Page 192, David gets an email from a magazine called Pop Lock, which gives me BTS Dispatch vibes. David responds 'no comment', Chance's manager is pissed about it. To dispel the rumours of Chance and David dating, Ridley and Chance go on a fake date. David gets jealous.
A few pages afterwards, David and Chance come up with a re-debut song. They fight a bit. They really can't go one convo without an argument, what the fuck?
Page 219, Chance goes on vacation with his family and he's not allowed to have a phone on him. For five days, they don't talk. Chance gets back, they meet up, and they kiss. Etc. Normal bf stuff. David surprises Chance by teaching him how to drive, and it's an important moment for both of them. Very sweet, can appreciate this part. David invites Chance to Ridley's "cliche high school party" (with costumes!), to which Chance is worried about going but caves in anyways.
Page 250, Party Time! Everything going well but Chance is getting flirted with and asked to sing. Obviously, he's not happy about this. Chance ends up going outside to smoke, David finds him and says Chance should be flattered by the attention he's getting. They fight. Again. JFC.
Ridley sees them making out, and he and her get into a fight about not telling her. She calls Chance scared to come out for real, which is incredibly insensitive. Everyone should have time to come out on their own schedule, Ridley should know that. This line made me hate her.Â
Chance leaves on a trip, they stop talking as much. David tells his Dad they're dating.
Chapter 26 and page 283 roll around, and David auditions for Darkhearts to convince the label to let him rejoin.
 It goes to shit. Fights all around. Chance changed the prewritten lyrics from a lovesong to a breakup song without saying shit to David, which was a bit of a dick move, but David deserved it. #davidholcumhateclub. They break up.
David then tells Ridley everything about him and Chance's relationship without Chane's prior knowledge or consent. They're friends again. Whoo.
Let's just breeze past this. Chance and he make up and make out. The usual. Then, it flashes to David backstage at a Darkhearts concert, and Chance calls him up front to play the song they wrote. No context as to how he got there, by the way. Then, Chance kisses David in front of the audience. The End. Curtains closed.Â
1,703 words. I regret everything.
So, my thoughts? David Holcum is a horrible character and so is Ridley McNeill. Chance was the only reason I kept reading this godforsaken book. He actually was a good person and felt like maybe he could've been an actual teenager, but David was cringe and so was every. Single. Other. Character.
Obviously, out of the extensive list of people credited with working on this book, none of them were queer teenagers. The vague fatphobic remarks made towards David throughout the book weren't covered further, and this just felt like another plot point abandoned. You can only have a few plot points that you barely go into before it becomes all over the place, and this book is teetering on that line.
I know this is his first-ever queer YA novel, but it was so bad. David isn't a loveable character, and I would've preferred Chance as the MC. David is annoying and selfish throughout the entire book, and it's clear he gets that from his parents (who are divorced).Â
If there is ever a second book to this, (which I honestly hope there is, I'd love to see this expanded) I hope Sutter consults actual queer teens like David and Chance. They didn't really feel like teenagers throughout the book, and it felt less "coming of age" than I wanted it to be.Â
If James Sutter reads this, I'm sorry. The baseline is, your book is okay. The plot is good, the base idea is good, but the characters are shit. David is shit. I hate him. Sorry, that'll be the last of my hatred.
Thanks for reading this monster-incduced mess I wrote in one sitting. Much appreciated.
A HUGE thank you to Netgalley and Wednesday Books for providing me an eARC in exchange for an honest review!
RATING: ââââ
GOODREADS SYNOPSIS: Â When David quit his band, he missed his shot at fame. For the past two years, heâs been trapped in an ordinary Seattle high school life, working summers for his dadâs construction business while his former best friends Chance and Eli became the hottest teen pop act in America.
Then Eli dies. Suddenly David and Chance are thrown back into contact, forcing David to rediscover all the little things that once made the two of them so close, even as he continues to despise the singerâs posturing and attention-hogging. As old wounds break open, an unexpected kiss leads the boys to trade frenemy status for a confusing, tentative romanceâone Chance is desperate to keep out of the spotlight. Though hurt by Chanceâs refusal to acknowledge him publicly, David decides their new relationship presents a perfect opportunity for him to rejoin the band and claim the celebrity he's been denied. But Chance is all too familiar with people trying to use him.
As the mixture of business and pleasure becomes a powder keg, David will have to choose: Is this his second chance at glory? Or his second chance at Chance?
RELEASE DATE: 6/6/2023
See my full review under the cut!
Sutterâs latest novel Darkhearts is a strong, bittersweet work about grief and regret.Â
This book is difficult to classify. While it has some elements of a romcom (friends-to-rivals-to-lovers, secretly dating, finding yourself, etc.), it doesn't actually read like one. The romance between narrator David and his love interest Chance is the main plot, but arguably the story is really about how David has been stuck in the past and needs to find a way to move forward.
If I had to register a critique, it would be the fact that band member and friend Eli's death wasn't handled in a way that served the narrative or the readers.Â
This is the event that kicks off the plot and brings Chance and David back together. Narratively, we are set up to expect it will be tied to the emotional development of both characters. Maybe it will help them learn to let go of old grudges because life is too short? Maybe it will cast doubt on how they used to see each other or the wider world? Maybe something else, but (pardon the expression) you canât raise a ghost like that and then just expect it to...fade away.
But thatâs exactly what happens. By the midway point of the book, Chance's feelings of guilt are "resolved" for narrative purposes...Or maybe they just get forgotten? Either way, the fact that this event just falls away is troubling.
Itâs particularly insensitive considering that Eliâs death is a tragedy related to substance abuse. This is an incredibly serious topic, one that affects many young people, particularly young queer people. Chance--who lived in the bubble of teenage stardom side-by-side with Eli--is no doubt traumatized by the loss of the person who understood him best in the world. But somewhere along the line, David and Chance have maybe one honest, vulnerable conversation about it...and then they never speak of it again!
The only thing I can think of is that maybe this is meant to be another sign of Davidâs selfishness. Heâs the narrator, and by the end he realizes that heâs been ignoring the emotional needs of his friends and family to feed his own resentment. But wouldnât Eliâs death be a trauma for David too? After all, he perceives Eli as having left him behind for fame just as much as Chance did. Knowing David as a character, I find it hard to believe he wouldnât obsess over the fact that heâs not ever going to get some kind of closure with Eli.
As always, thereâs also the Big Question of all queer self discovery stories: to come out or not to come out? I understand that not every teenager is in a position to come out before becoming an independent adult. I also recognize that in real life celebrities often choose to live in the closet because homophobia has real consequences that could put them and their dreams in danger.
Still! I hate reading stories like that. I live and breathe homophobia every day of my life. I donât want to escape in a book and see queer people having to settle for a half life of stifled unhappiness, resigned to reality because thatâs just the way life is. Why do we write fiction if not to bring back some measure of power to our lives with our voices?
So I also thought I would leave unsatisfied by the 'resolution' about the choice to come out or not.Â
Until those last couple of lines...
Well, let's just say I liked it better than I thought I would.
I'd recommend this book to fans of YA, coming-of-age novels, and bittersweet romances.
Adult Fiction
Brianna Labuskesâs THE LIBRARIAN OF BURNED BOOKS, pitched for fans of Kate Quinn and Julia Kelly, about three women who believe in the power of books to triumph over the very darkest moments of war, based on the true story of the Council of Books in Wartime, the World War II organization founded by booksellers, publishers, librarians, and authors to use books as âweapons in the warâŠ
Working on a design for Zan Z. and the whole wereâworm-from-outside-of-local spacetimeâ design.
Getting close.Â
Will probably loose the snake tongue given the sensory tenticles?
SUpposed to be a space worm(s) enveloping a warped human body. The snake jaws fold outside of the human jaws through the transformation. I assume the human skin gets pushed out of the way in full wereworm mode and pulled back over things when he turns back.
Need to work on it and incorporate more bobbit worm for Zan in particular. At least one of the other worms will be more hammerhead and maybe a seamouse too?
