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Title: If You Really Loved Him

Pairing: Kurt/Blaine

Word Count: ~4,000

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Kurt and Blaine try to make the most of the last six weeks Kurt has in Lima before he moves to New York.

A/N: This is what happens when I listen to Cough Syrup on repeat while my dash is all about Blaine dealing with Kurt's impending move to New York. Special thanks to Cari for betaing this.

If you really loved him,

You would relish all the moments shared.

Blaine grabs Kurt’s hand from across the small canopy table in Blaine’s dining room, and Kurt looks up from the Vogue magazine he’s reading. Well yes, he has read it before, but they always say fashion repeats itself. Blaine smiles a little to himself as he remembers the conversation they had before when he had called Kurt out for reading the same issue of Glamour seventeen times.

“Blaine, fashion doesn’t go in a linear path. It wibbles and wobbles and repeats itself. Now, I can predict when it will repeat pretty accurately, but sometimes I need a little help to remember exactly what should just stay in the past and what should make its way to the future,” Kurt had said.

Blaine had just laughed and pulled Kurt close. Kurt had let out a little yelp as Blaine covered his mouth with his own, but soon settled into the kiss. It started off chaste, just lips on lips, but soon they were parted and tongues were sliding against each other. Blaine gently nibbled on Kurt’s bottom lip and snaked his arm around Kurt’s waist to pull him closer. He placed his hand on the back of Kurt’s neck and used his thumb to stroke behind Kurt’s ear.

Kurt’s own hands were running up and down Blaine’s sides, not really sure where to stop and, really, not wanting to stop at all. With a loud smack! of his lips, Blaine pulls his face back and let go of Kurt. Kurt couldn’t help but let out a whimper.

“What was that for?” Kurt asked breathlessly.

“Just for being you,” Blaine said with a smirk. Kurt let out a shaky breath and smiled back at him, his eyes shining.

Now those same shining eyes are looking at him with a mixture of confusion and absolute adoration. Blaine sighs. He could look into those eyes forever.

“Blaine?” Kurt says, snapping Blaine out of his reverie. “What is it?”

It takes Blaine a moment to realize that he’s still holding Kurt’s hand. He looks down at it and leans forward, almost coming out of his seat. Kurt’s hand lays flat palm down on his own and Blaine places a soft kiss on the tip of his knuckles. He settles back into his seat, still not letting go of Kurt’s hand. He looks up at Kurt through his eyelashes. Kurt smiles widely, the sides of his eyes crinkling.

“What was that for?” he asks.

Blaine shrugs. “Just for being you.”

If you really loved him,

You wouldn’t tell him you were scared.

Kurt’s tongue pokes out between the side of his lips as he types on his laptop. He sits cross-legged on the floor with his back to Blaine. Blaine’s eyes roam over the mess of clothes, hangers, shopping bags, and boxes that are littering Kurt’s floor. Usually, he’s very meticulous about where his clothes go, but Blaine can see that today is another story. Blaine carefully steps over a pile of silk scarves and crouches down next to Kurt.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I need to see exactly how cold it gets in New York. I want to be fashionable, but I don’t want to freeze,” Kurt says hurriedly. His eyes dart around the room as if he’s taking a scan of the place and he goes back to typing. Blaine laughs.

“Kurt, you’re not leaving for a good while,” Blaine reassures him, wrapping his arm around Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt faces him.

“A good while? I’m leaving in four weeks. I usually have my outfits planned months in advance,” Kurt says. He looks at the computer screen, looks around the room, and faces the computer again.

Blaine swallows hard. Four weeks. Are there really just four weeks left? He wonders. He sits comfortably on the floor next to Kurt and lays his head on his shoulder. Kurt smiles and kisses the top of Blaine’s head.

“Why don’t you just take a break for a bit?” Blaine suggests. “Why don’t you just enjoy these last few weeks w-”

Blaine tenses up. He wants to say “these last few weeks we have together” but he can’t bring himself to. It becomes all too real when he says it out loud.

Kurt senses it too and nods slowly. He takes one more sweeping glance of the room and sighs, closing his laptop.

“Hey, what do you say we go downstairs and watch a movie or something?” Kurt asks. Blaine lifts his head and looks up at him, smiling.

“What will we be watching?” Blaine asks, but he can feel the sides of his mouth tugging upwards. He knows that Burt and Carole were out of town and Finn went over to Puck’s to spend the night.

“Blaine, we’re home alone,” Kurt says, rising from the floor and extending his arm to Blaine. “You know the last thing we’ll be doing is watching the movie.” Blaine can’t hide the wide grin on his face as he grabs Kurt’s hand, jumps up, and they run out of the room together, laughing.

If you really loved him,

You’d always let him know.

“I love you,” Blaine says breathlessly, the right side of his face pressed down on the cool side of the pillow. He lays stomach down on his enormous bed, naked and shivering slightly. Kurt can’t help but take in the sight before moving off the bed to throw the used condom away. He chuckles.

“I know. You told me that like twenty times before and practically a hundred timesduring,” Kurt says. Blaine gives him a lazy smile before yawning loudly. Kurt laughs, putting a knee on the bed. “I love post-sex Blaine. I think that’s my favorite Blaine.”

“Why?” Blaine asks trying to stifle another yawn. Kurt moves down the bed and Blaine shifts to give him more space, breathing in sharply as his oversensitive cock brushes over the sheets. Kurt presses a kiss to the top of Blaine’s head.

“Because you’re so dazed and stupidly in love,” Kurt says, laying down right next to Blaine and pulling the comforter up to their shoulders. Blaine lies on his side so that he’s facing Kurt.

“I wouldn’t say stupidly in love,” Blaine says. “I’m very smartly in love.” He shuffles closer to his boyfriend and wraps his arms around his torso. He cranes his neck and captures Kurt’s lips. They just stay still with their lips pressed together, eyes half-lidded, both entirely too tired to do anything more.

“Go to sleep, Blaine,” Kurt says against Blaine’s mouth, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s neck. Blaine moves even closer, so that their chests are touching. He wants to get as close as possible and just stay like this forever. This is probably the last time he’ll get to do this for a long time. Next week, Kurt will definitely be too busy for this. Maybe the last time forever.

Kurt’s eyes are almost completely closed when he hears Blaine say, “I can’t believe you’re moving to New York in two weeks.” That certainly jerks him awake.

This is not the time to talk about it, Blaine, Kurt thinks. Not now. They’ve been fooling themselves. They’ve been preparing for Kurt leaving, but not preparing for them separating.

Kurt’s eyes fly open and he moves his head back a little to get a good look at Blaine. His lips are quirked downward and his eyes are watery.

“Blaine…” Kurt whispers sympathetically. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t even know if he wants to say anything.

“No,” Blaine says in a low voice. “Not tonight. Let’s just enjoy this.” He takes Kurt’s hand into his own. “Let’s just enjoy us.”

Kurt looks him straight in the eyes. Tears still look like they can still spill over at any time, but Blaine’s smiling at him. Kurt lets out a breath and shifts closer. Blaine buries his head in Kurt’s neck and inhales his scent.

Let’s just enjoy us is Kurt’s last thought as he drifts off to sleep.

If you really loved him,

You would let him go.

“Finn Hudson, if you eat that burrito, you are not riding in the car with us,” Kurt says as Finn sinks his teeth in a greasy, oversized burrito. Blaine, who has his arm around Kurt’s waist and his head on his shoulder, laughs as Finn’s mouth drops open and a piece of burrito falls to the floor.

“But I can’t just waste it,” he protests.

“Then I guess you’re walking to New York,” Kurt bites back. Finn groans, but wraps the burrito up in aluminum foil and trudges back into the Hudson-Hummel house.

“And ask Cooper to bring down the rest of the stuff,” Rachel shouts after him. She turns her attention to Blaine. “It’s so nice of your brother to help us pack and move everything.”

“He had nothing better to do,” Blaine says, shrugging. Kurt’s arm is around his shoulders and Blaine moves closer, burying his head in Kurt’s neck. Kurt giggles.

“That tickles,” he coos. Blaine’s tongue flicks over Kurt’s collarbone before he gently nips at the skin above it. Kurt lets out a small whimper.

“Hey, hey, hey, none of that,” Burt orders, emerging from the house. Blaine jumps from Kurt’s side and rubs the side of his neck sheepishly.

“Sorry, Burt,” Blaine says, his eyes to the ground.

“We’ve still got a lot of boxes that need to be carried to the van, we don’t have time for you two to make out,” Burt says. Kurt scowls at his father and walks into the house.

“Making out?” Cooper says as he walks out, his arms full as he steadies a large cardboard box. “Blaine, don’t you have manners? You shouldn’t defile a man’s son right in his front yard.”

“I wasn’t defiling him!” Blaine argues, his face snapping up to look at Cooper. “It was just a kiss. Sorta.”

Cooper snorts. “Sorta.” He walks to the large sand-colored van parked in the Hudson-Hummel driveway and lays the box on the side beside it.

“How many more boxes are still to go?” Burt asks Cooper.

“A lot.”

Burt looks back at the house and sighs. “Then we better hop to it, then. Especially since we still have to pick up the Berrys,” he says.

“I’m sure if you just waited another hour or two, my dads will arrive to help with the packing and moving,” Rachel says, but Burt shakes his head.

“No, we have to get moving as soon as possible. We’re driving all the way to New York City from Ohio. It’s gonna take a while,” Burt says.

“I still say we should have just taken a plane and bought whatever we couldn’t take with us in New York,” Kurt says, coming out of house. In his arms are several shopping bags and a small box that he rests on his hip.

“Don’t you want to see the country? Where’s your sense of adventure? There’s a whole world between here and New York,” Burt replies.

“The sooner we get to New York, the better,” Kurt huffs. Blaine moves to his side and takes the box from him. Kurt smiles gratefully and they walk to the car together. They place the items on the ground and turn to each other.

“So,” Kurt starts.

“So?” Blaine repeats, looking him straight in the eyes. Kurt turns back, his eyes looking over the yard. Boxes are everywhere on the lawn and Cooper, Finn, and his dad are bringing more out as Rachel darts in and out of the house, speaking loudly.

“Finn, do you think I’ll need to bring all my winning trophies or just the ones from ages fourteen to eighteen?” Kurt hears Rachel ask. Finn balances a medium-sized box on his knee and turns to her.

“I don’t know. Why do you need to bring your trophies?” he asks.

“So they’ll know exactly how talented I am.”

“But, Rachel,” Finn says, setting the box down in front of him. “You got into the school. They already know how talented you are.”

Rachel considers this for a moment and smiles brightly at him. “You’re right. I’ll just bring my trophies from ages sixteen to eighteen,” she says before running back into the house to call her fathers.

Finn groans and Kurt can’t blame him. They already have a lot of stuff to take with them and they haven’t even started on Rachel’s things, which are still at her house. She volunteered to help pack and move things from the Hudson-Hummel house, but she had spent most of the night calling her fathers to pack more stuff for her at her own place. Carole had went over to help them in order to speed things up, but Kurt doubts they’ll ever get going if every few minutes Rachel remembers something she "absolutely must bring to New York".

“Okay, that’s the last of the boxes,” Cooper announces, placing a box on the ground next to him.

“Good. Now let’s get everything in the van,” Burt says.

Soon all the boxes are loaded in the back of the van and the door is slammed closed. Everyone is sweaty and tired, but there’s an air of accomplishment. Blaine and Kurt sit together on the grass, arms wrapped around each other and fingers intertwined. Kurt was initially hesitant to sit on the ground in his new, expensive jeans, but one look from Blaine made him decide it was worth it to be as close to him as possible.

Blaine rests his head on Kurt’s shoulder and Kurt rests his head on top of Blaine’s soft curls. Kurt smiles as he feels the hairs tickle his chin. He loves it when Blaine forgoes the hair gel, though he has no problem with Blaine’s usual style. Blaine started getting self-conscious about his hair when Cooper suddenly started calling him “Helmet Head” whenever Kurt was around. Kurt had assured Blaine that he liked his hair, regardless of how it looked.

But as Kurt rubs his cheek over the top of Blaine’s head, he’s glad Blaine got rid of the gel for today. Kurt watches as Finn and Rachel climb into the van and Kurt dreads what he knows is coming next.

“We gotta go, buddy,” Burt tells Kurt from the front of the van.

“Right now?” Kurt asks. He feels Blaine slightly quivering and when he hears a low sniff he knows that Blaine is trying to stop himself from crying. It’s too soon. Neither of them are ready. They’ll never be ready for this.

“It’s getting dark, Kurt,” he says, his tone regretful. Kurt looks up at the sky and sees that his dad is right. The sun is setting. Kurt’s stomach lurches as he extracts himself from Blaine, who keeps his eyes to the ground, but Kurt catches as a tear rolls down his cheek. They both stand and dust themselves off. Kurt can hear Cooper walking to his own car to start it up.

Times moving too fast for Kurt. It’s like he can feel the world spinning beneath him and he starts to get nauseous. This can’t be it.

“Blaine,” Kurt says, willing his boyfriend to look at him. Blaine lifts his head slowly. Tears cling to his long eyelashes before Blaine blinks and they run down his face.

“I’ll miss you so much,” Blaine tells him. Kurt moves forward and wraps his arms around Blaine’s shoulders. He presses his lips onto Blaine’s. It’s not even a kiss. It’s just a need to get closer. Kurt wants nothing more than to stay in this very moment forever. Forever with Blaine.

He moves his head and rests his cheek on Blaine’s. As the cool summer breeze blows by, Kurt notices that his face is wet. He uses a hand to wipe the tears from his eyes.

“I’ll be back for Winter Break,” Kurt whispers in Blaine’s ear. “It’ll be only a few months. I’ll be back soon.”

“That’s not soon enough,” Blaine says. Kurt’s stomach drops. Blaine just sounds sobroken and Kurt doesn’t want to move, but he can hear his dad coughing in the background. Kurt takes a deep breath and unwraps himself from Blaine.

“I love you,” Kurt says.

Blaine’s lips tremble and more tears come streaking down. “I love you, too,” he says back, his voice barely above a harsh whisper.

They turn away from each other, each feeling like a part of themselves is being ripped out. The only thought in their heads is a few months is entirely too long.

If you really loved him,

You would support him through and through.

The week Kurt is supposed to come home, a blizzard hits New York City. All flights in and out are canceled.

Blaine sits cross-legged on his bed, his laptop resting on his thighs. He’s supposed to be getting ready for some dinner his parents had planned with some of their friends, but right now this was more important.

Kurt’s face looks up at him from the computer screen. Skype video chats are a regular occurrence, but this time it’s different. This time Kurt is supposed to be here with him. Not at some dorm in New York. But this is fine, Blaine tells himself. As long as I can see him, it’s fine.

“So what’s new?” Blaine asks.

“Other than this stupid weather?” Kurt huffs. “It was sunny yesterday, Blaine. Sunny. And now I’m living in the middle of Antarctica.” Blaine laughs. “Oh great, laugh at my misery.”

“I’m not laughing at your misery,” Blaine tells him. “I’m laughing because we live in Ohio, Kurt. It’s not exactly California. I thought you would be used to the cold.”

“It’s not the cold,” Kurt grumbles. “New York weather is bipolar. One minute it’s beautiful outside and the next minute it’s a meat locker.”

Blaine smiles at him. “But at least you’re having fun, right?” he asks. Kurt’s face lights up.

“Oh, yes! New York is amazing. Rachel and I saw Wicked last night with a few of our friends and we even got a few autographs at the stage door.” Kurt says. Blaine leans forward.

“Really? Whose autograph did you get?” he asks. Kurt chews his lip.

“Well, we didn’t exactly get the autographs of any of the Wicked cast members, per se,” he admits.

Blaine quirks an eyebrow. “Whose autograph did you get, then?”

“Well, the Circle in the Square theatre was right next to the Gershwin and…” Kurt trails off, avoiding Blaine’s eyes.

“You did not get the people from Godspell to sign your Wicked playbills!” Blaine says, his smile widening.

“It wasn’t our idea!” Kurt protests. “Our friend Sean,” Blaine perks up at the mention of a guy’s name. Oh. “He was the one who suggested it. And the cast was very nice and understanding. They said that this wasn’t even the first time they had to do that.”

“Well, it’s good to see that you’re having fun,” Blaine responds.

“And how about you? Are you having a good time there?” Kurt asks.

“As fun a time as one could have in Lima, Ohio,” Blaine says. He rests his elbows on his lap and places his chin on his fists.

“Doing what?”

“Going to school, Glee club, doing homework, talking to my gorgeous boyfriend on Skype every night.”

“Sounds like a rager.”

“Well, we can’t all live it up in New York like you,” Blaine replies.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be here soon. Then we can ‘live it up’ together.”

"Oh, really? So you haven’t found someone better than me, yet?” Blaine asks, trying to sound playful, but he’s sure Kurt can hear the worry in his voice.

"No one's better than you, Blaine," Kurt assures him.

"Little bro, as much as I love to watch you make googily eyes at a computer screen for months until he comes back, we should have left hours ago," Cooper says. Blaine looks up at Cooper over his laptop.

"Yeah, just give me a few more minutes, Coop," Blaine begs. Cooper raises an eyebrow and flops down on the bed next to Blaine. Blaine scowls.

"Oh, this time he's dressed," Cooper comments.

Kurt blushes deeply, remembering the last time he and Blaine Skype chatted and Cooper had stormed into the room complaining about his parents. He hadn't noticed that Blaine was almost completely nude and sat down on his bed, muttering to himself, before turning to his little brother and realizing what he had just barged into the middle of. Cooper had left the room doubled over with laughter and clutching his stomach.

"Hi, Cooper," Kurt says through the screen.

"Hi, Kurt," Cooper says sweetly, giving him his most dazzling smile.

"Coop, can we have a moment, please?" Blaine asks, annoyed. "Alone."

Cooper sighs dramatically. "Fine." He gets up and when he reaches the door, he turns around. "But keep your clothes on and your hands away from your crotch. We don't have time for you to jerk off to the sight of Kurt's rosy nipples." Cooper dodges as Blaine throws a pillow at him, and exits the room barking with laughter.

Blaine turns back to Kurt, who grins at him.

"I miss Cooper," Kurt says. "Those last few months with him were quite possibly the funniest months of my life."

"You wouldn't miss him so much if you had to live with him," Blaine grumbles, looking at the doorframe where Cooper was.

"I miss everyone in Lima," Kurt continues. "Especially you." Blaine looks back at Kurt and bites his bottom lip to keep from crying.

"I miss you, too," Blaine says, his voice cracking on the last word. That did it. Tears start spilling from his eyes and after he uses his hands to wipe them away, he sees that Kurt's crying too.

"Uh, Blaine." Blaine snaps his head up and sees Cooper in the doorframe. Cooper uncomfortably rocks of the balls of his feet.

"What is it, Coop?" Blaine asks hoarsely. His throat is dry and he feels like he could start crying again at any moment.

"Mom just called. She wants us to leave now," Cooper says, his face apologetic. Blaine glances at the screen for a moment before turning his attention to his brother again. "But I can call her back and tell her the car won't start or something if you need more time."

"No," Blaine says. He clears his throat and repeats himself, louder this time. "No." His eyes flick back to the computer screen. Kurt's face is still red and tear-stained, and Blaine wants nothing more than to hold him. But he can't. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Kurt."

Kurt nods. "I'll talk to you then," he says. "I love you, Blaine."

"I love you, too," Blaine says. He wills himself not to cry again, but he can't help as his eyes start to well up again. "So, so much."

Kurt closes his laptop and, when Blaine sees the empty screen of the video chat, he does the same. He places his laptop at the top of his bed and stares at his hands in his lap miserably. He doesn't want to get ready yet. He doesn't want to move.

Blaine feels as his bed dips and the next thing he knows Cooper is by his side. Cooper wraps his arms around his brother and pulls him close. Blaine lets out a shuddery breath and soon it is followed by sobs. Cooper covers Blaine's face with his hands and moves closer, so that Blaine could rest his face on his chest.

"Don't worry about Mom and the stupid dinner," Cooper says. "Just let it out, B."

And Blaine does.

If you really loved him,

You wouldn’t let him know how much it was killing you.

#klaine #colfersleadingman #darrencrisstal #mikechangappreciationlife #tagging you because i want you guys because i want you to read the finished product #fic: klaine #addie writes