#darvor

[j2bestblog]

Claire Chazal et Patrick Poivre d'Arvor réunis le temps d'une émission sur franceinfo

Claire Chazal et Patrick Poivre d’Arvor réunis le temps d’une émission sur franceinfo

[ad_1]

Samedi 26 janvier, Claire Chazal et Patrick Poivre d’Arvor seront réunis dans “Soyons Claire”, le magazine culturel de la journaliste sur franceinfo.

C’est un duo iconique de la télévision qui va se reformer le temps d’une émission. Samedi 26 janvier, Claire Chazal et Patrick Poivre d’Arvor seront de nouveau réunis sur le plateau de franceinfo, la chaîne d’information publique du canal…

View On WordPress

[thelesbianexplorer-deactivated2]

Everything felt strange now, like how the previous unfortunate events which they had been through were starting to come back and poke their way into the almost perfect moment that Trevor really hadn’t wanted to have disappear because it was unlike anything he had felt before, maybe that proved how much just having Darcy around had affected him since he just felt as though something was missing whenever she hadn’t been there. It explained a lot of things after that faithful day on the beach that had henceforth went down as one of the bad moments in his life since when she had mentioned having to leave, it was like everything came crashing down around him and really that wasn’t anything which ever needed to be repeated. “Of course I know that. If you hadn’t felt bad for hurting me then, there obviously is a bigger problem that wasn’t addressed before. But things are different now, there’s a chance for us to see what could have been and I’m not going to run away from that; you can trust me on that.” he said, almost noticing the slight look of guilt written over her features which said more than her words would ever have. “If you try to leave, I’ll do everything in my power to stop you. Or just come with you, either way; I want to rebuild your walls so that you’re not so broken anymore even if that takes me a long time. No matter what, I’ll be here.” Pausing slightly after he had spoken, he raised her hand to his chest and simply left it there for a couple minutes. “My heart belongs to you, no one else can ever take your place.” he explained. He wanted to show her how much she truly meant to him and even if there were no words in the English language that he knew of which could have been able to express his emotions; hopefully the earlier action that been understood. “Somehow over the years I grew taller. No one ever expected that one. But, I’m not actually hopeless; I just use to say that when it came to relationships because nothing had worked out though this time I have a feeling things will be okay.” Perfect? Never. Perfection wasn’t possible, even if being here was as close to that would ever get.

The earlier evil feelings had seemed to dissipate which definitely was a good thing, there was no room for negativity right now when everything had been so peaceful, almost innocent in a way which hadn’t been any behaviour which he was used to. Though that was besides the point, no longer had the fifteen year old kid existed; he was a twenty one year old adult whom still had been trying to read the rule book on how things were supposed to work. “I won’t freeze. It’s not that cold out, I’ve been through winter in New York; now that’s cold. But it’s just a light breeze, feels sort of nice right now.” he replied, looking back over at her. No matter how long the conversation about his jacket was going to go on for, he was somehow about to convince Darcy to just keep it; might have taken a bit more work than originally had been intended though that wasn’t a problem by any means. Once she had corrected him regarding his earlier comment, he only thought about it for a second and then tossed away anything that could have been said because it wasn’t worth starting a debate over. Not at all. “Well we’re officially a couple then. You’re my girlfriend and I’m your boyfriend, its simple terms but they definitely mean a lot.” He looked back at her after he had finished speaking and almost felt himself getting lost in her eyes; to actually be able to say that they were together now had been words which he long waited to say and now that he had, it just meant a lot more than he ever thought.

[shiftyprincess]

Darcy was fighting against letting all her fears crash over her and ruin this moment.  Of course, there was still the distinct possibility she had ruined it by  mentioning exactly how long she’d had feelings for Trevor that were beyond just caring about him as her best friend’s brother, but he hadn’t let go of her hand or anything. She was going to take that to mean that things weren’t completely destroyed. She really didn’t want to have to live with another hole in her heart, not after she’d managed to repair that part of her that she’d known was broken from before, at least as well as she could. She didn’t want to have to find out what it was like not having him in her life, and if telling him this had done that, she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to beg, and the longer he’d stayed quiet the more she’d worried. The more she’d felt guilty, but that faded slightly when he’d finally spoken. “Exactly,” she replied, letting out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. “Of course I trust you. That’s never been a question for me,” she added, even as he’d continued speaking, and she let her words trail off so he could finish. Honestly, she wasn’t even sure she knew how to respond to that anyway. She just kept watching him, letting the moment just stand on its own. It didn’t need words anyway, not when once again it seemed like he knew what she felt without them. Another little smile crept onto her face as he’d let the conversation go back to his teasing about change, though. Even if his explanation afterward seemed much too familiar to her. “I know what you mean. Maybe they didn’t work out because we were waiting for this,” she said quietly, still simply looking at him as she left her hand on his chest for a moment longer. “Maybe we were waiting for each other, to grow up or something like that.” That sounded a lot nicer than any other possibility when it came to their failed relationships in the past, even if it was little bit of a cliché.

That was fine with her. Believing in fate wasn’t entirely crazy, after all, especially right now when there was Jordan’s wedding to think about. Fate and romance just seemed appropriate, whether or not they’d been on the beach and she’d been concerned about him freezing. Things would have been more awkward if they’d been back with his sister and everyone else, given none of them knew. Well, Jordan might have figured out that she’d been hiding something when it had come to Trevor, but that didn’t mean she’d accept their deciding to try a relationship. “Maybe it’s just me then. Although winters in London can get pretty cold too,” she replied, breaking through her other thoughts for now. Those could be dealt with later, and she was wearing a thin silk dress. That had to be different from his tshirt and jeans, so she’d just accept that he wasn’t cold. It wasn’t worth arguing over, but she still hadn’t decided if she’d keep the jacket as he’d offered. She would be fine once she got back to her car and could turn the heater on, and then they could avoid suspicion. If they were still planning on keeping their relationship secret, anyhow, getting caught wearing his jacket could give the secret away. She didn’t know if she wanted to risk that just yet, when it was all so new. She didn’t want anyone to question it. She didn’t want Jordan to question it, even if he thought otherwise. It would be easier to just explain things after the wedding and everything was over with, when there wouldn’t be any chance of taking the focus away from who it should be on. She couldn’t help but smile again at how simple things had sounded when he’d concluded the discussion of what they were, though. It sounded so innocent, like they were back in high school and all the drama had never happened. “We are. No matter what anyone else says, this is what’s important,” she said. They were what was important.

[shiftyprincess]

slytherclawpoet:

Wait, she was pretending about not having feelings for him way back when? Trevor only blinked as those words ran through his head as he looked at Darcy to try to figure out exactly what to say to that because he was practically speechless, it was startling to end up learning this information now; even after their feelings for each other had been admitted once more. They didn’t change over the six years which was a good thing because he couldn’t have imagined what things would be like had she ended up just rejecting him all over again, he was hurt enough the first time from that but then he was only a kid. At least that was what had been said to him, basically. After realizing that he’d simply been staring in silence for the last couple of minutes; finally the words had managed to come back to his mind before somehow finding a way to start speaking again. “You were pretending to not have feelings for me then? But.. you laughed in my face when I told you I liked you.” he said with a slight frown, trying to not remember that day over again because despite the fact that he might have been over that; it still stung a little bit to even consider that moment. Even Jordan hadn’t believed that actually happened although his sister believed that her best friend hadn’t really meant it which still wasn’t even something he could have trusted to be true. “Hopefully it’s for better. But no creeps can touch you so as long as I’m around, I won’t let them.” He really didn’t want her to feel broken again, but there was only so much he could have done to be able to keep her from feeling sad; though he still had made it his personal mission to keep her together as long as possible. “As far as I’ve noticed, the city hasn’t changed much over the years I’ve been away; but I’d like to think that we’ve changed for the better; at least we know that how we feel for each other hadn’t changed over the years.” he replied, returning the smile which she had given him earlier. It was nice to smile again, even if it was all because of a simple admission that actually hadn’t been all that simple.

The cool breeze had run over his arms as soon as she had asked about whether he was cold, he almost chuckled at the timing because it was too perfect but it wasn’t like it had been the Arctic or anything; obviously it wasn’t that cold. “I’m sure. Besides, I’d rather keep you warm right now anyway.” he said. There were a couple of ways that he could have made sure that Darcy hadn’t gotten cold, but since they were walking along the beach; this really was the only way that would be worked. Plus he was carrying her shoes too so it was just easier to not bother with anything else. “Of course but that does make sense, going back to London could happen at some other time. I doubt that Jordan would be happy to learn that you ended up leaving the city again, especially considering her wedding is soon.” If she was going to run off back to where she had been living for the last few years, then there was no question that he would have went with her because he didn’t want to let her go now. That would have been the worst decision that could have been made. And not one he was going to make either. When she reacted to him kissing her hand, a smile mirrored on his face because he liked to see her happy; he wanted her to be happy and he wanted to be the reason she was happy too. “Do you have any questions for me?” It was as good as time as any to ask that now seeing as there had to have been something she was curious about. He wasn’t an open book but he was willing to tell her anything she wanted to know.

She had known that information was going to come as a surprise, even if she hadn’t known the exact reaction.  Indirectly, she had meant it to be, simply because Darcy hadn’t wanted Trevor to know that she’d had feelings for him before now. It was simpler to go through with her sacrifice knowing that he thought she had only looked at him as Jordan’s little brother. However, now thing shad changed and she felt like it was better to just come clean. No matter what happened because of it. She just hoped that it didn’t make him take back his thoughts about seeing where this could take them. As far as she was concerned, it might weirdly make things easier, since it meant that they didn’t have to get used to new feelings. Although there was still that specter of what he still believed she had done back then, even before she had left without telling him things had changed. “Not then. Not exactly,” she replied as he had finally spoken. “Not when you’d told me, but I didn’t laugh in your face anyway. That time on the beach,” she said, knowing that she was probably not making sense anymore but hoping that he still understood what she was trying to say. Namely, her feelings had started when she had first told him she was broken, not before then even if she hadn’t meant for him to think she’d been laughing at him that time either. It had been more of a shock than anything else, and unfortunately the reaction had hurt him. That was the past, though. She had frowned a little at his choice of words when he had continued speaking, however. Apparently the old memories weren’t quite as hidden in the back of her mind as she had hoped, because it had only taken that simple statement to make them float back into her thoughts. “Okay,” she said simply, unable to really say anything else without fear of breaking down and telling him that had been a real concern. It likely would always be a worry, but at least she could tell herself that he meant it. He really would protect her, even if they didn’t work out. For now, other topics were going to keep her from completely breaking again, and a flicker of a smile had appeared on her face again at his little speech. “So then you’re saying that we’ve changed but we haven’t at the same time,” she commented. Oddly enough, it made sense, and being able to smile again felt good as well.

Even if there was still the matter of her having taken his jacket away from him. She wasn’t about to refuse, not when she’d obviously been unprepared and she had known that even before they had found each other, but she also didn’t want to know he was cold now. “Just say something if you change your mind,” she replied, swinging their joined hands slightly as they continued walking. It was easier since she wasn’t juggling both her shoes and keeping the jacket wrapped around her. There were a lot of things that were easier now, and she honestly wasn’t thinking about running away again. Not when she had more than one reason to stay, as Jordan’s wedding was still a priority. That was going to have to be her first priority, too, as dealing with any awkwardness over people finding out that she was maybe dating Trevor wasn’t going to take away from that. They’d just have to deal with that revelation later, and this didn’t really count as a date anyway. “I’m not going to abandon her, or even make her think I would,” she said, knowing that he would believe her. A trip back to London could wait for a later time, after the wedding and after they had figured out what exactly they were. It wasn’t entirely clear to her right now what the answer to that was, aside from what his little action had made her feel. Happiness was only the beginning, but that wasn’t everything. Even knowing that he really wouldn’t hurt her wasn’t everything, and she knew exactly what to ask when he’d offered answers. “What is this? Us, I mean. What are we now?” Those probably weren’t the questions he had meant for her to ask, but they had plenty of time to discuss what had happened to them since high school.

[thelesbianexplorer-deactivated2]

The more that Darcy had explained the reasons behind why she had left to London after graduation, the further that Trevor had managed to wrap his head around the reasoning despite the fact that it hadn’t really mattered anymore, it was all knowledge that could have been useful back when it actually happened but then he definitely would have made him feel responsible for causing her to leave. Even if the bad memories had been from when she was attacked and left broken which he was still determined to make sure that nothing like that would have happened again. Once there was a break in the conversation, there would have been the moment to say exactly what he thought especially when staying silent wasn’t an option. “I understand. And I’m not just saying that, I wouldn’t have wanted you to stay here hurt even if I had gotten hurt because of my feelings back then. Though, at least you’re back; that’s really what matters. Our past is just that and what’s important now is the present.” he said, only giving her a smile. The future wasn’t anything to think about right now because anything could happen and as much as he wanted to consider it, there was no point; honestly though he had hoped that she would have been part of it at least. When things turned back to talking about New York, anything which was on his mind in that moment had moved to the back so that there was a chance of focusing without ending up looking like an idiot.  “Santa Monica is one of a kind, its home. And you can never replace home. Things definitely aren’t the same, a lot has changed in the past six years; but the idea of things ever staying the same is ridiculous because it’s impossible though, if anything things are going to be better this time around than they had been.” Hopefully. Might have been pure optimism keeping him believing that though it was a challenge to be any other way when he had her back in his life.

It might have been a lot of work to try to make sure that everything would have been okay with Darcy but it was all worth it, at the end of the day; she would have finally been his girlfriend which was something he had wanted ever since that day he had told her how he felt on the beach. The day that unfortunately had been met with a bout of laughter but that was forgotten. Looking over at her, he noticed the fact she seemed to have a problem with holding onto both her shoes and his jacket at the same time and immediately came up with an idea. “You’re welcome, the jacket looks really good on you. Did you want me to carry your shoes though? That way you can keep warm without having to worry about them.” he offered. If it was met with a rejection, then it wasn’t exactly a big deal. Either way, things were going to wait until question time was over seeing as he hadn’t been rude and definitely was not about to start now. “That does make sense, I wouldn’t mind going to London someday; maybe we could go together since you know the city. But for me, despite that I had another life in New York; I always missed living here so no matter what, I would have come back home.” he commented, looking back at her as they kept walking through the sand; the sound of the waves crashing into the shore brought him back to why he had returned. That sound was just calming and managed to give him answers somehow even if it hadn’t ever made sense. “You don’t ever have to be afraid again either. You’ve got me now, and I’ll keep you safe the best I can, that’s a promise.” Lifting their joined hands, he shifted them slightly to place a kiss on her hand to simply prove how much he meant every single word that had come from his lips. More than anything now he wanted to make sure she was alright and if it meant keeping bad people away, then so be it.

[shiftyprincess]

Darcy didn’t know how he was going to take any of what she had said, no matter how much she felt like he was going to understand. She didn’t understand that feeling herself, so there was still some uncertainty as to if she was going to inadvertently hurt him yet again. This time it was different, though. There wasn’t any laughing, and there definitely wasn’t the chance of people thinking there weren’t requited feelings. That made it all that much more complicated, but she couldn’t take back what she had said. It was out, and she’d just have to deal with the fallout if the revelation actually did do damage. She felt like she had already done enough damage to him by her sacrifice six years earlier, and that now was the time to fix everything. It was time to fix what she had severed before, even if it hadn’t ever actually been severed. Her feelings had remained, and so had his. All that was left was to hopefully see where that took them. “You know that it hurt me just as much to pretend, right?,” she replied, as Trevor had finally spoken. By now she didn’t think it was worth keeping the secret that her feelings had started all the way back when they had been here on this same beach the last summer before she had graduated from high school. “I had to do it, though. And I had to leave, but you’re right. I am back now, for better or worse.” She didn’t know if being back here would bring back all the bad memories, after all. She was just going to hope that she’d healed enough to keep that from happening. She might have known that he’d still be there if she had ended up broken again, but that didn’t mean she wanted to test it. She wanted to see what they could be without that burden. Thankfully, they had other topics to consider, too. She didn’t want to think about her memories too much. “I guess not. Although there is that saying that ‘you can’t go home again’. Probably because things do change. Santa Monica might not change, but we do. Hopefully it’s a change for the better, though,” she said, giving him a little smile to show that she actually believed that. At the very least, she wanted to believe it.

He had distracted her again when he had replied to her simple thanks, anyway. The compliment had amused her considering she didn’t really think she was wearing his jacket. Not in the traditional sense, at least. “You’re sure you aren’t cold?,” she asked, letting him take her shoes from her without question. It would be his own fault if he did anything with them, since she was still going to have to drive home later and while it wouldn’t have been a problem driving barefoot, she didn’t feel like walking into the hotel without shoes on. Either way, it had made holding the jacket close around her a lot easier, even while continuing to hold his hand as well. She was going to have to remember to give it back once they headed off their separate ways, however, no matter if she knew they’d be seeing each other again soon enough. She didn’t want him freezing on his way home when she could always use the heater in her car. “You wouldn’t?, “ she continued, actually surprised at his words. “Maybe sometime. It’d probably be better for me to get settled again here before I think about going back.” She might be tempted to stay if she went back now, even if he was with her. It was better to get her connection here back again, aside from him. That connection obviously didn’t need a specific location, since her feelings hadn’t faded when they were an ocean apart. She had smiled again as he had lifted their hands to kiss hers, even though she felt like he hadn’t necessarily entirely understood what she had been saying before. It wasn’t a fear of certain people anymore, or anything like that. It was fear of her feelings toward him, but she still felt his words. She believed him. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her, and if they didn’t work out, that wouldn’t be either of their faults.

[thelesbianexplorer-deactivated2]

It was weirdly peaceful now with all of the quiet seeing as Trevor knew that there wasn’t a chance where everything would have somehow become awkward, not when words which might have been left unsaid were being figured out and just being here with Darcy had been made things perfect. Honestly as weird as it had sounded, he had almost felt like the past few years were almost meant to happen so that whenever they met again; feelings could have been sorted out. Something along those lines at least. There was no question that any remaining mysteries as to how they had felt about each other had been solved because he managed to get every single thought on his mind out into the open and the earlier kiss, that wouldn’t have happened if it didn’t make sense; however it was also something which he wanted to do again even if there were conversations currently happening. “Jordan never told me that. I guess, she might have thought that it was better for me to just not know. But Oxford, that’s impressive. What was living in London like?” he asked curiously. The curiosity was hard to ignore although now he was only more curious to why his sister hadn’t told him where her best friend had went after graduation but there was no anger surrounding that. Why be mad over information that was changing as of now? Wouldn’t have exactly made much sense. Instead he only focused on her, the only one who managed to find a permanent home in his dreams that endlessly teased him though at least the dreams now wouldn’t have been bad; they could have given ideas of what they could have done at some point.

Not that he didn’t have ideas right now, it was more that they had to wait until another time. First was continuing the whole topic of discussion with Darcy about why his sister hadn’t known that he went to Columbia and also that he was back home; in his mind it was all straightforward however, it had been more confusing in actuality. “I guess not. I would have thought that they might have told her but honestly I don’t know. I’d rather be the one to tell her in the end so that she could have asked whatever questions about how it was. If you ever want to know how law school was, you can ask; I’m here for a while now unless you’re going to go back home.” he replied. There was no need to go back to his apartment immediately when he would have rather just spent his time with her. His, well whatever they were. Not quite girlfriend yet when their relationship was starting now but eventually that was what she would have been, something that only made him happy to know when it was what he had wanted for the longest time. “I know that we’ll be okay, you know.. I was thinking why don’t we just hang out on the beach right now? Talk for a bit, try to catch up as much as possible.” he offered, moving his hands back from her waist to hold his hand out to her. Catching up could have meant anything happening but he wasn’t going to push his luck right now. Plenty of times for things to happen.

[shiftyprincess]

She had always come to the beach because it calmed her down, because it usually helped her find the answers to questions she had. It was just interesting that now there were other memories to attach to the beach, and Darcy was finding she didn’t have any problem accepting that. Not when it meant things falling into place that had waited for six years. Things that she had waited for six years to find out, and now she had found out that Trevor had as well. They weren’t discussing that right now, though. Those topics were just understood by now, part and parcel of the weird feeling that he’d been able to read her thoughts along with the message that had been given through their kiss from moments earlier. Maybe it had been minutes, but she wasn’t entirely sure of how much time had passed. It had seemed a bit darker, but that didn’t bother her. She knew he would keep any creeps from trying to attack her. “I did. I didn’t want you to think I was running away from you,” she admitted. It hadn’t been entirely Jordan’s decision not to tell him, although she hadn’t really expected her best friend to listen to her. That and she was surprised he hadn’t asked back then. “It’s different. Not as much as you’d think, but it’s definitely interesting. Probably not quite like New York, though,” she continued, answering his question. There might have been a bit of curiosity about him as well, but the actual question could wait. She was perfectly happy waiting, anyway, now that she wasn’t having to actually force herself to keep anything to herself. The secret that was her feelings toward him was out and that had only made things better.

She was finding out more about what had happened to him over the past six years without having to actually ask the questions anyhow, along with finding out exactly how good her best friend was at keeping secrets, and other members of the family. Some of those hadn’t necessarily been secrets, but then maybe it had all just been intended to keep them from this moment until now. Until they were both ready to actually try being with each other, ready to actually allow each other to see what was inside them. Of course, she knew he’d always sort of been able to understand that, wanted to protect her. She had known that even before the last time they had been here. “Of course,” she said. It made perfect sense that he would have wanted to be the one to tell his sister what had happened to him since high school, and it strangely made perfect sense that he’d be telling her now. “I don’t need to head back yet. There isn’t really a lot to head back to anyway. Room service and basic cable, honestly,” she said. It had just seemed weird staying at home when things were different, and she hadn’t been about to invade either Grace’s or Jordan’s apartments. Either way she would have felt like a third wheel, although in vastly different ways. She could still help with the wedding without being around Jordan and Danny 24-7, and right now she didn’t think anything was more perfect than just spending a little more time out here with Trevor. Even though a shiver ran through her as he had stepped away and she’d realized how much cooler the temperature had become, she still gave him a smile. “That sounds nice,” she replied, slipping her hand into his after leaning down to pick up her shoes from the sand. “I’m sure you have more questions to ask me, too. If you wanted.” She wasn’t going to be the only one allowed to be curious.

[thelesbianexplorer-deactivated2]

Trevor knew that there was something off in the moment, he could just tell when he looked in Darcy’s eyes and he was determined to figure it out instead of having to ask her because there was no way that things would have gotten anywhere had he not been able to recognize when something was wrong with her; the wheels in his head slowly began to turn as he tried to figure out what to say which definitely wasn’t the easiest of things. And he knew that. The danger at the moment was potentially making everything uncomfortable between them as they had been the last time that they were on the beach and considering how different things were now, that only would have been bad. All of the silence was starting to get to be annoying, however in that very moment; everything made sense to him. She was unsure of where things were right now, and that was going to be immediately explained. “I want to give us a chance, to see what things could have been like when we were younger; no matter how much you consider yourself to be broken; I want to be the one to convince you that things are all okay. I want you to stay here in Santa Monica with me because I can’t let you go again, not when it would hurt me too much.” he explained, moving his hands from her face to slowly run over her sides before finally settling on her hips. His words hopefully would have been enough to be able to convince her exactly how much he had wanted her, seeing as the earlier kisses hadn’t gotten the whole message across and there was no way to start making it appear as though he was turning things around when that wasn’t the case. He didn’t kiss her to give her any false hope because that was not whom he was, it was all to show her that the years apart had made him realize that she was stuck in his heart and no matter what; it was never a bad thing. Relationships had been compromised when he was at Columbia but that was for the sake of his studies and now there was only one thing he wanted.

It was all a matter of waiting now, other conversations had been become the centre of attention and he simply put thoughts on the back burner of his mind so that there was nothing to block his attention away from what had been said. Apparently it was turning into question period although there was nothing that he would have shied away from when she deserved the answers to whatever mysteries there were going on. “No. By the time I was going to tell her, everything got busy and I didn’t want to spring that news on her while she was trying to focus on other things. And Jordan did know I was in New York, but like I said earlier; she still thinks I’m there and not back home getting ready to come to her wedding. Well at least now, I’ve gotten past the whole wonder of if I’m going or not; I want her to be happy since she’s my sister and deserves that. Plus of course, seeing as I’m a groomsmen.. I’ll have to be there anyway and I’ll enjoy surprising her.” he replied. No matter what, he was going to make sure that he didn’t make his sister upset and it meant even more on her wedding day but his issues weren’t going to overshadow that day, not when he recognized exactly how important it was. Everyone deserved to be happy after all, and it might have taken a bit of work for him to get there though having the one girl who meant absolutely everything to him was definitely a good start. Talking about what had made him feel broken also had made him feel better. “Thank you. That was the one thing I never heard from anyone who had hurt me, and I do appreciate your sympathy. Maybe we could find a way to keep each other from feeling broken again, since that’s the only thing that makes sense to me.” he said, slowly managing to find a smile to allow to crawl onto his lips. He might not have been able to trust a lot of people, but he knew that he could have trusted her.

[shiftyprincess]

The thoughts were too much. Between thinking about how she’d been wrong to let him go six years ago, no matter how complicated it would have gotten, how she’d sacrificed the person who would have likely saved her from being broken all these years or at least tried to fix her, and just remembering what had gotten her here in the first place, Darcy hadn’t been entirely sure that she could sort everything out to explain. She knew that Trevor had noticed her preoccupation. It was just a matter of time before he asked her what was going on, and she still wasn’t positive that she could have given him an answer. Honestly, she didn’t know if she could survive finding out if it would break him to know that she’d had feelings for him even back then, to know that there had actually been the chance. It was easier to just hope that the time would never come, and they could just pretend that they were starting now. That their past didn’t exist, even if she knew that it would be impossible to truly ignore that. It was impossible to pretend that nothing had happened.  Her memories made sure of that, but she didn’t want him to have to deal with her problems when he obviously had his own. She had glued herself back together as well as she could, and now it was her turn to try and help him. She just hoped that somehow he’d do a better job of fixing himself than she had. Whether or not the kiss actually led to anything, she didn’t want to see him look so broken. The answer to the unspoken question of what the kiss meant never had to come, as long as she never had to see him like that again. However, life didn’t always work out that way, and it didn’t always go the way she thought either, as he had spoken. She had blinked as the words had sunk in, as his hands had skimmed down to settle at her hips and technically left her free to step away if she chose. She didn’t. She couldn’t, but what he had said had definitely surprised her. It was like he’d gotten into her head yet again, and she didn’t know how to respond. A single word escaped her lips though, almost involuntarily. “Okay,” she said softly. Things would be complicated, she’d have to find a new job, but if staying was what it took to make sure that at least one of them wouldn’t be damaged more, she couldn’t say no.

Except maybe he was already damaged, yet that didn’t scare her. Oddly, it meant that maybe they actually would work out. At least, in her confused mind it seemed to mean that, but she wasn’t planning on saying that. Just like she wasn’t exactly planning on telling Jordan that she was considering a relationship with her brother. If Trevor could hide college from his sister, she could hide this, at least temporarily. Except she still couldn’t quite figure one thing out. “She knew you were in New York, but she didn’t know why?,” she asked. The latter part of his statement hadn’t needed a response, although it had meant that hiding her relationship would be a bit more difficult than it would have had he refused to go. That was a challenge she could handle, since she would rather deal with that than have to explain to her best friend why her brother hadn’t come to her wedding. She wouldn’t have to pretend she hadn’t seen him, anyway. They could survive being in the wedding party together. Besides, she could always hope that Grace distracted everyone from wondering about the two of them. Her own sister could always be counted on to do something to deflect attention, even without being asked. She had other things to focus on than worrying about the wedding anyhow, when the conversation had returned to what had broken him. There wasn’t any reason to worry about trivial things like people finding out about their fledgling relationship and questioning it when there were more important things to consider. Her sympathy could only work so well, when she apparently wasn’t connected to who had damaged him. Nobody had said they were sorry to her either, but her trauma had been different. Nobody was about to extend sympathy to her for that now, either, since she figured most people had forgotten it happened, and she didn’t expect it. There were a lot of things she hadn’t expected from this visit, but she’d smiled a little as he had responded. “Maybe.”

[thelesbianexplorer-deactivated2]

Maybe explaining what had happened to him over the past few years would have been a good idea right about now considering obviously there would have been no more mysteries, well at least when it came to certain things. Trevor knew that Darcy had every right to now where his life had taken him after she left, just because things were complicated hadn’t meant he was going to shut her out; she didn’t deserve that, not after what he knew she had been through the last time they were on the beach talking. Even if he wanted more than anything to just spill out everything that was on his mind, might have been something that needed to be considered but there was no point in waiting much longer. “Well not exactly, I missed living here. After graduating, I moved to New York and went to Columbia after being accepted into their law program. My parents definitely were impressed to see that I managed to get into an Ivy League school seeing as.. well you remember what I was like when I was fifteen. But anyway, living in that city was just too much; I missed the days I could come to the beach and just forget about my problems so I decided to move home.” he said, just managing to be able to continue to act normally as he spoken since being around her was almost too good to be real. Though it was real, he knew that from being simply a step away from each other and nothing was about to convince him otherwise. He couldn’t be able to have a conversation with her if she was just a vision, that much was true. “I told him not to tell Jordan, I want to surprise her at her wedding because I know how much it means to her that I’m there. But I still.. I don’t know if I should come after all, she deserves to be happy on her big day and I might not exactly be much help if I feel kind of broken.” he replied before looking down slightly. He didn’t want her to see that something was wrong, even if that was pretty ironic. Things might have been different but in a way, they were still the same.

What hadn’t been different was how he felt about her, and managing to finally get that all out into the open was definitely a good thing; she now knew everything which might have been enough to make him scared but he wasn’t afraid. He just wanted to know if she felt the same. Not that it was too much to ask or anything of the sort. After all of these years, it had been hard to resist wondering if she had felt anything for him at all. Though that question had quickly been answered as she returned the kiss, which seemed to also have something else behind it, something that he couldn’t put his finger on at first but quickly understood; she was telling him everything that she had felt and he just was happy. Raising his hands slightly, he cupped her face and just kissed her more; making sure that he managed to get the point that he had gotten everything she said across. Dreams would never have been able to tell him exactly how good this was, or how much Darcy really cared about him. It was just too perfect. Maybe after six years, things ended up changing just enough where possibilities were more that mere ideas.

[shiftyprincess]

At first, Darcy hadn’t known how to respond to everything that Trevor had said to her, his explanations and everything else. Then, there had been the distraction of him kissing her, yet this time it wasn’t like the last time he had kissed her on the beach. Not only because this time he hadn’t done it to try and keep her from crying, but this time it really wasn’t a distraction. It just was, and she wasn’t planning on questioning that. She wasn’t going to question something that deep down she’d wanted to happen for the past six years, even if she’d tried to deny it. There wasn’t any reason to deny it anymore, not when there didn’t seem to be any reason to believe that this wasn’t possible. Any thought that this wasn’t happening had faded when he had taken that last step toward her and kissed her, and they disappeared altogether when she’d felt him lift his hands to cup her face and deepened the kiss even slightly. She couldn’t disbelieve it when it was all right there. She could feel him there, even though her eyes had drifted shut moments after the first touch of his lips to hers, and she could feel that he wasn’t backing away. Things really were different than they’d been in high school. Everything that had begun then had only gotten stronger over the years, and it seemed like that hadn’t only been on her side of it all. The unspoken message told her that, anyway, and she wasn’t inclined to pull back at first. She didn’t want to, and as far as she could tell, neither did he. She didn’t need him telling her that anymore, when actions really did speak louder than words, no matter how surprising and, honestly, welcome those words had been.

Except for a few, and those few words had been what had finally made her break the kiss and pull back slightly. She’d still left her arms where they were, draped over his shoulders and curved around his neck as she’d simply looked at him. As she’d regarded him, thinking of what he’d told her again now that her thoughts weren’t blinded by other things. “What did you mean?,” she asked, her voice quiet. “You know that Jordan would be happier having you there at her wedding, just like I’m sure she’d be proud of you for everything else.” If she wasn’t already. Darcy knew she was proud of him for proving himself, but somehow it seemed like in proving himself he’d decided he was broken. She felt an odd sense of déjà vu, except this time it wasn’t him trying to hold her together. This time she was the one trying to hold him together, and she wasn’t entirely sure if she could. “What broke you?,” she continued, not entirely sure if she was going to like the answer.  There were all sorts of reasons why she wouldn’t, starting with the most terrifying one that was finding out that she had broken him. She hadn’t fixed herself enough to know that she’d survive that. She couldn’t run away either.  Not anymore. Even if she’d left and went back to London, she knew that she’d still want to fix him. All she needed was to know that it was possible to glue him back together, like he had her, probably without even knowing it. She wasn’t even sure that she had known that until now. She wasn’t completely fixed, but the little spark inside her had kept her together the past six years even as there had still been times she felt like it was all going to crumble into ash. Now she just had to convince him that it was possible again.