Having each other | Daryl Dixon x Reader
During S9
angsty(?)
Word Count: 1347
Having Eachother
It amazed him how much you smiled, how much of you suggested the idea that nothing in the world was going to break down that front.
Even as the farm went to hell, and everything in it that had once seemed lively was rendered to waste, you kept that same upward perk.
Against all odds and his initial frustration too, you were a true trooper, dedicated to holding onto that one bit of you, you swore no one could ever take from you.
'It's all I have,' You said quietly as you looked up into the starless sky, refusing to let a single tear fall.
Even when he could see your eyes tear up, brim with would-be tears, you somehow managed to blink them away just in time, smiling right after, almost triumphantly.
-It was admirable, really.
After everything that had occurred, every bit of heartbreak you suffered through, you managed to show off the expression. Even if it sometimes twitched with opposition, wanting to fall into the same gloomy state as everything else around tended to, you managed to salvage it.
You smiled, and he figured that it was out of some stupid luck he'd gotten stuck with you during the escape.
That had to be it,
' - some sort of cursed luck, ' he mused bitterly as you two walked through the noon, trying to find a safe place to rest.
he quietly looked back, his eyes leading back to you, who seemed rather chirpy as you gazed up at the sky, upholding that dammed smile.
And you had the nerve to wave your fingers up as little birds ventured towards the same path you guys seemed to, almost as though you were convinced your bloodied hand was anything to fall for.
It happened too many times to count, and you told him the same thing over and over ;
"We'll get through this," you said while smiling down at him as he sat on the broken porch of the abandoned house.
During his own miserable episodes, he envied you, silently cursing at your naïveté until he finally understood that it was your own strength, your own resistance to the world's evil.
He'd never been one to try and understand the complexity of other people, especially not when he hadn't been one to interact with many before.
He had always been on the move with Merle, so there hadn't been a reason to try and understand anyone else.
To a person like him, you'd been strange at first, a mystery he couldn't properly understand at first glance.
'You should try it sometime,' you suggested with a shrug, mildly considering it after your sanguinity usually ended in some form of accomplishment.
-And he began to smile, his version of a smile at least which was usually just some dickish joke accompanied by a short grin.
Even if it was just a quick motion, you seemed to catch on and appreciated it, praising him for being able to show something other than frustration.
"You have a pretty smile," you said as you stopped in your tracks, taking a moment to look at him before you offered him one of your own and kept moving.
" I like it..."
The moment had been so quick, and he stood stunned as you walked past him, trailing behind Carl with an old box full of dust-coated supplies that consisted of old cans of soup.
Tongue-tied was just what Daryl felt, especially the second time you strolled by.
Luckily, he'd always been a quiet guy, so it wasn't so strange to anyone else.
"Give it here," he said while motioning you close, taking the last of the supplies in his arms.
You didn't fight him on it. soon after, rolling your neck as you thanked him.
"-Tough day huh?" he said while observing you, and you let out a little sigh, "Yeah...but I'm just happy to be home," you answered honestly, walking with him.
And your lips were stretched into a soft smile as you looked up at the tame clouds above.
"Glad you're here..." he said while looking straight, finding it hard to look at you, no matter how pretty you were.
.
.
.
He tried to look away, to keep his eyes on Carol, focusing on his closest confidant to offer her some sort of comfort during the moment because he knew she needed it too.
-More than he did.
He tried to be strong, holding down his voice, keeping it from wavering.
But his heart ached, slowly splitting by its delicate strings as he closed his eyes, shutting them tight as he brought the long-haired woman close to him, embracing her.
He offered her somewhere to hide, to look away from her son as he stared beyond them, out into nothing, avoiding the true sight that hovered over them.
-All while sad eyes glanced down at him.
It was a focus he could feel directed at him no matter how hard he tried to think of everything else but that damning sense.
.
.
.
The lovely curve of your lips that always formed when you smiled was gone as your mouth moved, the sluggish movement hindered by a limp jaw.
Garbled sounds escaped as you spoke in a language he couldn't understand, and hoped never to no matter how much he'd dwelled in your every conversation and clung to your every word before.
Dull, melancholic orbs stared down at him, holding despair gathered from your last moments, as well as every other you always managed to overcome.
Dried tears trailed down your cheeks, leftover from your final moments he tried not to picture.
It was then that it occurred to him that he'd never seen you cry, witnessing nothing other than misty eyes in the past.
Against all else, he couldn't even feel the mourning he should.
He felt something far from sadness or mourning.
Instead, he thought of the Whispers as they tore that smile from you and forced your tears.
He Could hardly think of every beautiful moment he lived with you without imagining them ambushing you and our friends- your family. - his family.
He'd give anything to forget those few seconds he recognized your unfamiliar expression because now, that beautiful memory of you smiling became infected with just that.
-and only that.
Yet, as much as he wanted to break down, he resisted.
Instead, he upheld the falling woman as she was weakened down to her knees, sobbing as she clung to him throughout her collapse.
"What are you looking at?" you asked with a grin, the way your eyes twinkled causing him to laugh because that playfulness of yours was sometimes a bit too contagious.
He shook his head as he huffed, "nothin'..." he said lowly, though he snuck a peek at you.
"You just got a pretty smile," he reminded you, and no matter how many times he repeated the line, you always seemed to grow a little flustered.
And somehow, it managed to make that expression he complimented turn into something more precious.
Unwittingly, you looked at him, your face warm with giddiness as your smile was broken into a grin from which little giggles escaped out of.
As you slowly quieted down, you inched closer to him during your little walk, and as your hand lightly brushed his, you tested the waters.
Out of the corner of your eye, you watched him begin to smile, as his fingers made little attempts to capture yours.
It took a few teasing attempts before you managed to hook one, giving him the push he needed to, to just hold your hand entirely.
"We'll get through this..."
Things had gotten tough lately, but you were sure of it,
"Because we have each other," you added as you gave his hand a little squeeze.
"Right?"
As he looked down, away from the sky, and away from you, he smiled.
It was full of bitterness as he swallowed down that miserable familiar taste of having nothing.
And to think, He'd really believed you.