#dash:jordan

[oldjayblog]

Well, my fans seem to disagree. I’ve seen them writing stories about me and Harry. Apparently I can even make deranged pirate hot.

You and Harry? That's funny, Uma has him by the balls I doubt he has eyes for anyone else. You and me though? We can be something great. I'm just saying. @jordanjinn

[kinglyben]

jordanjinn replied to your post: people your age shouldn't be getting married

Some royalty’s creepy child marriages are not a reason for us to make the same mistakes.

There are plenty of examples you could have chosen in the middle, you know. 

[kinglyben]

@jordanjinn:

I mean, your pushed to the side wannabe Bieber Circa 2007 bowl-cut isn’t exactly great either. But I’m having trouble picturing you bald. Maybe I still have to wait a few years until your hairline starts receding naturally.

I have to do something to hide the dents from the crown. Kidding -- it doesn’t actually leave dents regularly, it was just the one time. I’m sure if my advisors think that the baldness is a sign of weakness, they’ll ask Fairy Godmother to do some magic on my head -- but I don’t want her making exceptions for me, I can wear like... a wig like a normal person.

[oldjayblog]

@jordanjinn

I was literally under a love spell, you cannot seriously believe that my idea of a great time is making out with you for an entire day. I’ll let you know if there’s anything left when I’m through with them.

Babe, girls would kill to be in your place but I don't know. I think that love spell made you finally act on your true feelings. It's okay, I'll keep your little secret. Right, thanks.

[marykatehood]

@jordanjinn:

Oh but MK, you are that person and we mostly love you for it. But sorry, I claimed the title first and I’m not looking to give it up. You can just hook up with your hot archery trainee or something to take your mind off King’s Day and a certain redhead’s tongue instead. Fine, I’ll get Freddie to make a death pact with me instead. I know she’s ride or die enough.

Okay, but it’s a day in my hometown, about my family, I should get to steal it this time! And I can’t fuck the competition this close to actual competition time -- unless you think it would distract him from winning. Although Oliver’s not going to be winning anything, so I’d have to pick someone else who’s actually in the expert bracket for that to do any good, and most of them are like, close personal family friends. Hey! Who says I’m even still thinking about King’s Day and Noa? Totally, totally, so long forgotten. You guys are going to die on my parent’s anniversary? Can you wait until the next day instead? 

[oldjayblog]

Don’t listen to them, baby. You have the fliest hair in all of Auradon, they’re just jealous that they don’t have hair as gorgeous as yours.

Well if it’s in all of Auradon then I will gladly give up my position for you. I mean yours actually shines like a diamond and it’s so beautiful. Wait we can be the king and queen of best hair. We’ll get that empire of yours going title by title.

[marykatehood]

@jordanjinn:

Whatever you say, Hood. But I know your heart’s locked and loaded on a target even if you still want to pretend you’re playing the field. Wow, major let down. But I did say you were barking up the wrong tree there and I was right, just not in the way I expected.

There’s no pretending about it! I’m in the field, I’m playing it, I love games, life is good, life is great. Go and focus your energy on Elise and Jace again, the kingdom seemed like they were having more fun trying to make that happen than they’ll ever have trying to get me to do anything. What way did you expect, then? Because I won’t lie, I’m like... surprised, but not as surprised as I could be. I never thought about it, but who could date Andy for that long and not want to sleep with her? Suddenly it all makes sense. 

[fredcilier]

@jordanjinn: 

I try, although I do have to a bad habit of taking some of the hot ones for myself. But I would never do you like that with your dream lay. True, maybe this will be the time that you two finally get lucky together. I wish I had my eye on someone for the big day but I’m still weighing out my options.

Damn, boo, kinda selfish, don’t you think? Just kidding, if they’re hot enough I’d take sloppy seconds, I don’t got shame about that kind of thing. And so far there’s been nobody I cared enough to grab for myself. Hey, don’t think of it as not having your eye on someone, you just got your eye on everyone. They gotta earn it night of, no slacking off ‘cause they think you’re a done deal.