Sometimes I don’t know where I’m headed with my life. Don’t get me wrong, things are fine. My life is, in many aspects, better than it has ever been before. But career-wise, it’s all just a big ball of “What am I doing here?”. Today I dreamed about one of my classes. It wasn’t even a nightmare proper, just a constant worry being consolidated into a dream of working on it. And there’s not a single class I enjoy. I’m always trying to just pass everything, so I can throw it behind me and forget it forever. That’s... not how you’re supposed to feel about your university course, is it?
There are some areas I still haven’t explored. I do keep holding out hoping that one of those will be the holy grail, the one thing I’ll enjoy, or at least not actively hate doing. But for the time being, it just feels like every day is an endless slog through thick mud.
But it’s okay. There are hundreds of different career paths departing from this course. Once I finish it, I’ll probably find something I like. ......hopefully.