#actuallyanxious

[opal-jam]

Do you:

forget your trauma

remember it too much

mix of both

Voting ended onApr 7

[melancholicvnt]

EVERYTHING makes me feel rejected/abandoned. im not meant for this world.

[rottenbutrecovering]

Hi all 👉👈 does anyone have any experience with being on SSRIs for anxiety/OCD? Would love to hear your experiences!!!

Ive given therapy 2 tries and counselling like 4 tries and I think its time to consider giving meds a go cause your girl cannot keep living like this LMAO

[opal-jam]

What helps you calm the fastest?

Distraction

Rest

Venting

Art

Getting out of the situation

Five night at freddy's OCs

Crying

Voting ended onDec 5, 2025

[cptsd-gladion]

"if you're socially anxious the only solution is socializing more" incorrect. sometimes the actual solution is medication first.

[a-chilleus]

if you want to actually be helpful to your friends with social anxiety (not just telling them "you can do it!" and expecting them to do social things they're not ready for), here's some ideas based on MY experience. you should always listen to them and what they say helps, though. i'm just giving ideas.

when you enjoy their company, TELL THEM. if you think they're funny, tell them. if you hung out with them and you enjoyed it, tell them. even if you feel awkward being sincere. fucking tell them the good things about them. over time you can outweigh the effects of whatever caused their anxiety in the first place. i remember the first time someone genuinely said i was funny without it being a sort of "whaaat no" reaction to me saying i wasn't funny. thanks greg. genuinely "you're fucking funny dude" rewired a bit of my brain.

if they start to say something in a group and get cut off, make it clear you're interested in what they were going to say. maybe you say out loud "hey, [friend] was about to say something", or maybe you just turn to them and say "what were you about to say? sounded interesting". or just turn and pull an "i'm listening" face. whatever works in the moment. just make it clear you want to interact with them and care what they have to say.

positive reinforcement if they do something they were nervous about, even if it seems small to you. "oh i know you were worried about that - i'm proud of you!" "you did great in that presentation btw, it was so interesting and i could tell how passionate you were about the topic" - it's not about coming up with nice things to say, it's about saying the nice thing that you already think because they're your friend

go with them places but give them time to do the talking themselves if they're ready. maybe you have a conversation about it - "oh, i know you find this bit nerve-wracking. i'll be right beside you and if things start going south i can take over." that makes such a difference to me - knowing that if i start an interaction and then get flustered or lose my words or the other person gets weird (because i'm autistic and trans and sometimes people ARE weird about it) my friend has my back and can smooth things over

help them script things, if scripting is a thing they do, and/or help them to prepare for or understand a social situation they are unfamiliar with. for most of us autistic folks, the anxiety isn't irrational - we legitimately find it more difficult to just "read the room" or pick up on how things will be, and some of us lack social imagination so it's hard to even imagine how a scenario might play out - this makes us SO MUCH MORE anxious. if you know the situation or the environment then you can help arm us with more information so we feel prepared and thus less anxious.

go to places with us or be available online to distract us or destress after we've done the scary thing. for example, if your friend has to go into that doctor's appointment and they're scared but they want/need to go in alone, you can wait outside for them and either debrief or just immediately chat about other things so that they don't immediately start spiralling about everything they said "wrong". again, discuss with your friend whether debriefing or distracting helps more.

help them find things that are WORTH challenging their anxiety for - not just "you should get a job in a field you don't care about that forces you to talk to people." if you see a flyer for an event they might be interested in, send it to them - and, if you're available, offer to go with them.

i think it's honestly the case that "social anxiety" doesn't come about for no reason, and it's very often either comorbid with other things or even just a sort of oversimplified label for something else such as cptsd. people develop social anxiety because they have been bullied, because they were neglected, because they are autistic or otherwise neurodivergent and every time they tried to socialise they were alienated or rejected, because they have a noticeable difference from other people that they have experienced rejection over, because they're marginalised in some way and have either been mistreated for it or seen others like them be mistreated... we are social creatures and while some of us are naturally more introverted than others, we don't just randomly develop a fear of talking to people for no reason. i think it's more helpful to consider social anxiety a symptom rather than a disorder in its own right, but that's my opinion.

please feel free to add your own suggestions, so long as those suggestions aren't just "tell your friend to do it scared because that's the only way they'll learn!!"

[bitter-and-angry]

[neurodelightful]

Hihi Fidget Folk! I could really use your help. Short story: I need to move but first I have to get some debts paid down and work on some health things. I'm running our Black Friday week sale NOW to encourage more sales, and greatly appreciate anyone who would like to take advantage of it or can even just spread the word to others who might be interested. If you happen to want to just help directly but don't want anything from it (except my undying gratitude, you get that no matter what) my cashapp is $grumblesgrove and my paypal is paypal.me/velyaevi More details below the cut, for those who want it:

So, I have been working on getting the debts paid down slowly anyways and working towards a lot of doctor's appointments. Health both mentally and physically has not been great so a lot of shop and stream stuff has kind of fallen by the wayside. I'll be pushing the shop as hard as I can and will start streaming again soon once things settle out a little and I figure out how things are going to be going forward.

I am ok, and will be ok, just so everyone knows not to worry. With the lots of upcoming doc appointments it will be rough, but I'm trying to rush through it all while my deductible is reached and while I'm here and have a doctor that is actually invested in helping me. My finances are extremely limited right now so it's been hard to get extra to reduce the debt, let alone start to save up for a move. The shop is the only 'extra' income I can get and it's been very slow for a while. The faster I can pay them down though, the less I'll have to pay overall. I'm also using the Snowball method, so each one down means the next one gets paid off faster.

I'll be posting more updates periodically, so if this is your first time here feel free to follow along for the journey!

Thank you so much if you read this far, or read any of this post at all tbh. I appreciate each and every one of you. <3