Kurt wasn’t going to call him.
It wasn’t some sad pathetic realization or anything like that. It was just the truth. It was a fact.
Kurt wasn’t going to call him.
Kurt, for whatever reasons he may have, didn’t want to talk to Blaine.
And that was sort of heartbreaking in ways other than the ones you would normally think it was. It wasn’t heartbreaking because of the fact that their wedding was tomorrow and Kurt had all but vanished without a trace. It was heartbreaking because the more and more days that went on, the longer the silences between them were drawn out — Blaine didn’t care.
He didn’t have it in him to care.
Because the person he cared about was right here. Sam was back in Blaine’s life after going so long with him being nowhere to find, and that was all that Blaine could focus on these days. And he was okay with that. He’d accepted that.
But he owed it to Kurt — he owed it to Sam. Because he didn’t want Sam to be viewed as any type of a secret or something that could ever be hidden or ashamed of. Sam had spent enough time feeling like there was something wrong with him when nothing was, and Blaine didn’t have it in him to be a part of that.
And so, he was going to take steps toward doing what he needed to do — and that started with talking to Kurt.
Kurt wasn’t going to call him, and that put the ball in Blaine’s court. Blaine had to call him.
It took him three tries before Kurt finally answered, a little rushed and a little distracted, with Blaine’s heart beating heavily in his chest.
“Hey, hi,” Blaine said, biting down on his lip for a moment and pacing back and forth, phone cradled between his ear and his shoulder. “Are you, um… are you on your way home?”
Kurt didn’t answer right away, and that told Blaine all that he really needed to know.
When he did speak, Blaine realized he was holding his breath as he did so. “Look, don’t be upset with me, okay?”
“Our wedding is supposed to be tomorrow, Kurt… is now really the time that you want to be having this conversation?”
“I need some time to think,” Kurt blurted out. Blaine didn’t know what he expected, but he didn’t think it was that. “Not that I don’t love you, because I do, but… being here? We have our whole lives ahead of us, Blaine, so… so maybe we don’t need to be rushing into the wedding, you know?”
“It’s tomorrow, Kurt,” Blaine babbled, shaking his head and leaning against the wall for a moment. “You decide this now? You missed Christmas. You haven’t been home in over a week, and now you decide that you don’t even want to get married?”
“I do want to marry you,” Kurt explained, but he didn’t sound the least bit convincing. “You know I do.” He didn’t. “I just… it’s complicated, I don’t know. I think it might be good for me to stay here for another week. Clear my head, start the year with a clean slate—”
“—and when I get back, we can figure out everything that we need to figure out.”
Blaine scoffed, shaking his head and feeling his blood beginning to boil beneath his veins. “I don’t think there’s really much to figure out at this point, do you?” he asked, knowing damn well that he sounded painfully accusatory while doing so. “It seems like you’ve already made your decision.”
Kurt, for a moment, didn’t reply. “Blaine, you know that’s not true.”
“WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW,” Blaine exclaimed, showing the most emotion about the subject that he had since the second Sam had shown up at his door on Christmas Eve. “WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW,” he repeated himself. “We sent out the invitations months ago. We have everybody coming into town. My parents are coming, and… and you decide with less than thirty-hours until the wedding that suddenly you don’t want a wedding anymore.”
“Just… not right now,” Kurt told him, using that voice that he always used when he thought that it was Blaine being unreasonable. “We’ll figure it out when I get home, okay?”
Blaine pinched the bridge of his nose, heart beating in his chest and teeth biting down hard into his bottom lip. “Fine,” he muttered, even though he knew it wasn’t fine at all. “I have company staying with me anyway, so I guess it will be less awkward this way.”
That seemed to perk Kurt right up.
“Company?” he echoed. “What kind of company?”
“Sam,” he told him, as if Kurt knew who Sam was. “An… an old friend from high school.” It was better than a flat-out lie, right? “And he’s going through a bit of a rough patch right now, so… I offered to let him stay here. Help him back on his feet and all.”
“Always such a giver, aren’t you,” Kurt mused, even though his tone didn’t sound nearly as delighted by the actions as his words. “That’s fine, I suppose. Hopefully all of his… issues are sorted out before the wedding.”
Kurt sighed as his very own way of telling Blaine how difficult he deemed him. “We’ll talk later,” he said briskly. He hung up without another word.
Blaine had foreseen a lot of emotions regarding the subject before he’d placed the phone call. And yet, there was one that he hadn’t taken into account. One that he felt more than all the others in this very moment.
