february 2.
Nobody would believe him.
Thatās what Sam thought. He wished he could say that he wasnāt sure when that seed of doubt first started growing but, no, he could remember the exact moment when Jason planted the idea in his head. He could still taste blood when he thought about it Ā and he would never, ever forget the way Jason laughed at him for being naive enough to believe it would be as easy as dialing 911.
Sam had grown up trusting in the ideas of justice and heroes and the good guys always winning in the end. He wasnāt the type at all to back down from a fight if he knew that he was in the right for defending himself or someone else. Relationships were different though. No matter how heated an argument became, heād never once thought about putting his hands on a significant other in a way that could potentially hurt them.
Jason didnāt start out hitting him. That was the thing. Yeah, this is all related to the very first time he took a swing at Sam and busted his lip, but it wasnāt as if that kind of behavior came out of nowhere. It had started with yelling at him for stupid reasons and then escalated to throwing things at him instead if he got angry. Sam kept telling himself that it would get better, that a temper wasnāt a total deal breaker.
I mean, he had been in fights in high school, so he knew how easy it was to lose your cool sometimes. And Jason had this way of making it sound like Sam had caused those outbursts. Now he could understand nothing that happened between them could be considered his fault. It was harder to see it back then. He always tried to find ways to justify it when he got shoved back against walls or found himself regretting ever saying he liked being roughed up a little.
Until Jason hit him that first time. It wasnāt right. Sam knew it before he ever reached up to touch his face and he knew it when he saw the blood on his fingertips. He had to tell somebody before shit got worse. He had to do something.
Thatās when Jason made sure to put into Samās head that it wasnāt possible for him to get help. The police wouldnāt believe him. Whatever shame Sam felt about stripping got manipulated into being a reason nobody would listen to him. Jason could blame it on a customer or blame it another dancer who would definitely cooperate for extra money.
Why would anyone take Samās word for it? Who would consider him credible after the things he had done? Oh, and did he want to get arrested for shit he definitely wouldnāt want his dad to hear about? Nope. No way. Better to keep his mouth shut! Sam always crumbled before he cold really hear what would happen to him if he did tell someone, regardless of whether they believed him or not. Just talking about it came with its own list of punishments.
No matter how tough you think you are, thereās a chance youāll run into the type of person who knows what to do and what to say to make it feel impossible to stand up for yourself. Sam hated that heād turned into a guy who let shit happen to him but eventually he had been worn down and manipulated into thinking there wasnāt any point to screaming the truth if nobody could do anything about it.
He wasnāt over that phase yet.
Whatever relief he felt over Blaine promising to stay away from Jason didnāt last long. Sam swallowed hard when Blaine stood up, fighting his instinct to pull Blaine right back down, to wrap his arms around him and not let go for at least three hours. There would be a time and a place for wallowing in his sadness but right now they needed to get out.
Even if it meant relying on Sebastian, who sometimes had to put up with Sam sulking in his presence due to a little bit of jealousy. Just this once, he could swallow his pride and admit that Sebastian had done a lot for the both of them in the last month. āYeah, okay,ā he nodded. āThat makes sense. As long as whoever did this didnāt stick around waiting to see what we do.ā
Shit. Was that a thing he had to worry about or would they be okay to leave?
Sam was glancing back toward the pictures when he heard Blaine speak again from across the room. He looked over and his stomach sank instantly. Wait, the police? What good would it do to get them involved? He couldnāt prove that Jason took those pictures and he had never reported previous incidents to give them a reason to believe that he was in any kind of danger now.
It wasnāt a battle he wanted to fight when they needed to be focusing on leaving as soon as possible. Arguing with Blaine would just hold them up even longer. Ā Even thinking that, he didnāt stand up until Blaine asked him to move, too caught up in trying to figure out what the fuck he was going to say to the police when Blaine inevitably forced him to do it against his own judgment.
āSure, Iāll take care of the stuff,ā Sam said, getting up from the couch and making his way to the bathroom to pack up whatever theyād need for the night or maybe a couple days. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, anything else he could shove into a small bag he found in the small cabinet where they kept their towels and washcloths.
He stepped into the bedroom once that was done to find that Blaine had quickly made sense of his Ā previously chaotic attempt to pack. āI really do appreciate you not, like, flipping out the way I know you want to right now.ā Sam placed the bag in his hand into one of the larger bags that Blaine hadnāt zipped up yet. āI justā¦ I know heās good at covering things up and making it like he didnāt do anything.ā
Sam crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the dresser. āYou have to be okay with there being a chance he gets away with this, just like everything else.ā He took a deep breath and looked down at his shoes, feeling ready to run and their ride hadnāt even arrived yet. āIt sucks and itās scary but he didnāt leave a note and he has people who will say I did things or that I wanted it.ā
His jaw clenched. āI canāt go back and prove stuff that already happened. I was stupid and I screwed upā¦ and nobody will believe me.ā
Something that was so great about Blaine and Samās relationship was that, honestly, they didnāt fight. Ā They really didnāt. Ā They never got into screaming matches with each other, things most certainly never got violent. Ā Blaine had always chalked it up to one plain and simple truth, and it was that they were soulmates.
A lot of people, especially a lot of people in high school, would look at you like you were crazy if you were calling someone your soulmate. Ā After all, what did high school students know about that sort of thing, right? Ā How could you possibly have your soulmate when you were still in high school? Ā You hadnāt even experienced the real world yet, so why would you ever think that you had found the person you were meant to be with just like that?
The people who felt that way werenāt Sam and Blaine. Ā They didnāt experience things the way that they did. Ā They didnāt get it the way that they did. Ā Because Blaine? Ā Blaine knew that it was always going to be Sam for him. Ā Blaine knew that there was a perfectly good reason that the two of them worked out as well as they did. Ā They were best friends. Ā And with best friends like them, things just fell into balance.
Even when they argued ā and not a silly argument, but a true, genuine argument ā it was over nearly as quickly as it had started. Ā They were calming each other down and they were kissing and they were holding onto each other, and they werenāt letting it weigh them down anymore.
The same would never be said for Blaineās relationship with Kurt. Ā Now, it wasnāt that he and Kurt had some horrible relationship or anything like that, but their relationship wasnāt a fairytale. Ā And when they argued, it was ugly. Ā It was ugly in a way that it just about made Blaine not even recognize himself.
When Blaine and Kurt argued, it got ugly. Ā It got mean. Ā They would ice each other out and make biting comments that they never should have been making in the first place. Ā They would cry, they would storm outā¦ frankly, it was a miracle that they had even lasted as long as they had.
And Blaine had never had to worry about that sort of thing with Sam. Ā Not once. Ā Because that wasnāt who they were. Ā They managed to bring out the best parts of each other. Ā They lifted each other up instead of ever trying to bring each other down. Ā They loved each other. Ā Whole-heartedly, completely, unconditionally.
It was really, really rare to find that kind of love.
And now that Blaine had found that kind of love again? Ā He wasnāt going to let anything happen to take it away from him. Ā He wasnāt going to let anything happen to Sam, to them. Ā He wasnāt going to lose Sam, and Sam wasnāt going to lose him. Ā Plain and simple.
It scared Blaine to think about the things that Sam had gone through, the things that had happened to him, the many ways that Jason had inflicted pain onto the one person Blaine cared about more than anyone else in the world.
While Blaine was arguing with Kurt, or waiting up for someone who wasnāt going to come through the door, or worrying about grading papers, or making dinner, or doing anythingā¦ Sam was in an entirely different world. Ā He was a galaxy away from him. Ā He was getting hurt, he was getting mistreated. Ā And Blaine didnāt even know about it.
Now, obviously, itās not like Blaine could just know about this sort of thing, but that didnāt make him feel any better about it. Ā He hadnāt been there for Sam when he needed him. Ā He hated himself for that.
He hadnāt been there for Sam when the envelope was pushed through their door this evening, either, and Blaine kind of hated himself for that, too.
Blaine, quite honestly, didnāt know how to handle himself in this type of situation. Ā He had never, personally, been in this type of situation in the first place, so how was he supposed to know what to do? Ā Of course he didnāt know what to do. Ā Going to the police had been an instinct more than anyone else, even though everyone knew by this point in the world that the police really didnāt do as much as they would ever claim to do. Ā And they couldnāt protect someone who they couldnāt prove was innocent. Ā No matter how innocent Sam was.
He was just about to bite a hole through his lip as he worked with shaking hands to get everything packed away as quickly as he could. Ā He didnāt know what he would do from this point out, and he didnāt know how they would handle it, or what they would do to get everything moved out of the apartment, but he also knew that that wasnāt what he needed to be worrying about right now. Ā Right now, his priority was Sam. Ā His main concern was Sam. Ā That was it.
āI understand,ā he said quietly, voice coming out a bit more meek than he had intended for it to. Ā He stepped closer a moment later, kissing him softly and pressing another kiss to the apple of his cheek, another to the tip of his nose. Ā āI justā¦ I hate feeling powerless. Ā And I know that it certainly canāt compare to anything that youāre feeling right now, butā¦ I just. Ā I eel sick knowing that he can just walk around feeling like heās never done anything wrong while youāre stuck here with physical and emotional and mental scars that wonāt fade away like that. Ā Itās not fair.ā
He took a step back, blinking back tears that he knew were threatening to make their great escape. Ā āWeāre just going to keep you safe,ā he finally resigned, giving him a nod and moving to zip up their bags. Ā āThatās what we need to be worrying about right now. Ā Weāre going to keep you safe, andā¦ and I donāt know about the rest. Ā Iām mostly just concerned with you right now.ā
His phone went off in his pocket, a text message from Sebastian saying that Robert was downstairs and informing him heād reserved a room for them under one of the many names his dad had given him to use as an alias over the years. Ā āI donāt know what the fuckās going on, but Iām here and I figured a fake name would help, so. Ā Donāt be a stranger. Ā Donāt make me come to you over this sort of thing, you know Iām above that.ā
āRobertās here,ā he said, grabbing two of the bags and slinging them over his shoulder. Ā He stepped forward once more, just long enough to give Sam another kiss. Ā āI love you, okay? Ā Andā¦ and thatās what matters right now. Ā Thatās whatās good. Ā Thatāsā¦ thatās it.ā
Leaving the apartment heād called home for the past year and a half left a hollow feeling at the pit of his stomach, but heād known it was inevitable either way. Ā Maybe not to be leaving in such a rush like this, or anything, but heād known that a home heād lived in with Kurt wasnāt a home that he wanted to start a life in with Sam. Ā He wanted them to have a place of their own, a home for new memories, for just the two of them.
He gave it one last look before he was closing the door and turning the lock.
Fingers woven through Samās, he tugged him toward the back stairwell. Ā āIn case heās, likeā¦ lurking out front, you know?ā
His hand gripped onto Samās tightly, making their way out the back door of the building and to where Robert was waiting a little down the alley, in a dark town car with tinted windows and a license plate that wouldnāt be easy to track down. Ā āLeave it to Sebastian to make it look like weāre about to be taken in by the CIA,ā he muttered, trying his best to lighten the mood before he was dropping the bags into the trunk and leading Sam into the car.
He could feel how tense he was just by the way he was holding his hand, from the way his jaw was clenched and his body was rigid in the seat. Ā Maybe that broke his heart more than anything else. Ā That this effect? Ā This wasnāt something he could fix.
āHey,ā he murmured, sliding in a little closer and pressing a kiss to the top of his shoulder. Ā āIāve got you, okay?ā