The Christmas Coincidences
I’ve been putting off writing this one as it was a bit of a double shocker whammy, but it’s one I definitely felt I should include in this blog.
I was speaking to two guys over the Christmas period, lets call them Coincidence 1 and Coincidence 2.
I went on a date with Coincidence 1 before Christmas, which was brilliant. We work in the same industry so felt like we had lots to talk about and a lot in common. The mix of mulled wine and Christmas Spirit meant that he ended up back at mine.
I can’t say the sex was any good or lasted very long (not to give too much away here but it was probably a couple of thrusts if that) but it didn't put me off seeing him again. We carried on speaking over Christmas, a few very long messages a day, and arranged to do something again when we were both back in London in January.
Coincidence 2 was someone who caught my eye on Instagram. I was out with my friend and her brother, who happens to be part of a skating scene in London, and he was showing me pictures on his instagram. Coincidence 2 stood out to me, so naturally I asked whether he was single. My friend’s brother said he was very much single, and that I should drop him a message on Instagram.
It took me a couple of months, but over Christmas when I had a bit more time on my hands I decided to message him. Turns out, we got on really well and had quite a lot to say to each other. One thing that stood out to me was that he seemed quite sensitive, I guess being a creative type it was to be expected (he was a designer, skated, wore Vans, had a beard...)
We met up pretty much as soon as I was back in London and although he seemed quite shy at first, after a few more beers the date was in full flow. He even leaned over the table to kiss me. He insisted on walking me back to mine.
I remember being pretty adamant I wouldn't sleep with him on the first date, but he was heavily hinting at coming in and staying over. I guess in hindsight I might have felt a bit pressured. But he ended up staying and although we didn't sleep together, stuff happened.
He left in the morning after a few affectionate hours, and we carried on messaging and I said to let me know when he could do a second date, assuming he wanted to.
So now I had Coincidence 1 and Coincidence 2 on the go, and I was feeling pretty happy in this London dating triangle.
But then a few days after the Coincidence 2 date, on the same day. literally within an hour of each other, they both sent me the longest essay of a message explaining how much of a “lovely” girl I am, but that they weren’t in the right frame of mind for commitment. Coincidence 2 even went on to say he was having therapy for some deeper issues, and Coincidence 1 had some stuff going on with his dad who was ill.
I’ve had the impression before that I give off an air of “I know exactly what it is I want, I’m 100% ready for commitment” and that has scared guys off previously.
The worst part about this situation though was going from having two boys to speak to, to none. And both for the same reason. I had taken two steps forward, but was now two steps behind again.
In hindsight, there were certain things that I now realise meant we weren't compatible and that we wouldn't have worked out in the long run. Coincidence 1 was very posh, he had weird shoes and was a bit too close to his sister. Coincidence 2 was probably too East London edgy/sensitive for me. Ironically, I bumped into Coincidence 1′s sister at a work event this week. I’m pretty sure she had no idea who I was, and all I could think about whilst speaking to her (about work related things), was that I’d shagged her brother. And she would have probably been jealous.
Coincidence 2 still follows me on Instagram, and is pretty high up on viewing my insta stories (I’m going to add here that I don’t follow him anymore), and we used to DM each other about random stuff, but ever since I suggested we do something and he said yeah sounds good “but maybe just as friends”, I’ve avoided messaging him through pure embarrassment. Even though I hadn't necessarily meant in a dating capacity, the fact that he had replied with that makes me cringe so much I don’t think I can face ever speaking to him again.
They are both nice guys and never intended to hurt me (as they both emphasised in their messages) but the fact that those heart-dropping messages came one after the other meant this has left a bit of a scar in my dating life.