Tinnaire remembered what it had been like, to court the fel. To be filled with the feel of the potent magics introduced, to be seared to the soul by the potential. To use the fel crystals to keep the terror away. Devastation and hunger had driven so many of them; hunger, true starvation, was a strong motivator. Even after the taboo had resettled, Tinnaire had not stopped seeking power where she found it; it did not hurt that she excelled at finding it. Fel and flames mixed deliciously, even more addictive than arcane, and made a powerful combination. And Tinnaire had liked feeling powerful after that shock of powerlessness. She remembered what it had been like to court her first lover all those many years ago. She remembered stealing their first kiss. His surprise and his somewhat shy but eager response. It had made her feel powerful, too. She could not remember ever being courted herself though--she’d staked her claim too early for any other romances as a young woman. Married so quick and fast as soon as it was legal. Running off together until the dust settled had felt like such an adventure. And it had been. She had not remembered being courted by the Kirin Tor or the Academy or the other operatives of ‘up and coming magistrix’ societies--her family had put her in the right places at the right times, and it had all just fallen into place for her. She had a charmed life when young, floating gracefully through the opportunities placed so smoothly in front of her. She had left the military on good standing, and respectfully had not been courted, or coerced, to return after Argus.
Looking up from her book, setting her whiskey down on the coffee table, she gave a wistful sigh and had a momentary stab of self-doubt and even envy. She had good friends who came with very pleasant benefits, but no one courted her. She knew it was a common feeling, the wanting someone to want your attention enough to seek it greedily. She often indulged others about it. She wrote the letters. She brought the whiskey. She suggested trips. She showed up on doorsteps. Tinnaire asked for company, and received it gladly, but she thought it might have been nice to have been asked, too. The affections of her friends she didn’t doubt. But still… Tinnaire shook her head as if to dislodge the unwelcome ennui. It didn’t last long. She would not wallow. If she was lonely and wishful, she should do something about it.
She typed out a message on her funny little radio mechanical communicator and she leaned back against the arm of her sofa to read again.
A message to Seven to open the door in invitation. It had been much too long since she’d seen him. He was always good for making her feel light about the future. A kind perspective delivered with a rakish smile was always welcome. He might enjoy the time away from the Shadowlands, himself. She wanted to hear his stories and what he’d been up to since she’d seen him last at the mercenary camps.
@daily-writing-challenge
Day 22 - Court/Taboo mentions @sevensolar
