#dd gets propositioned

[demented-dukey]

I’m calling off our marriage

Virgil!DD: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT--

[demented-dukey]

Hey, can I be your side hoe?

Roman!DD: Why be my side hoe when you can be my main hoe, dearheart? I don’t know who you are, but I’m certain you deserve to be someone’s primary object of affection!

Logan!DD: Exactly, you don’t know who they are. DD has already agreed to marry anons before, I really think they should get more information before they agree to things like these...

Patton!DD: Aw, Lo! Everybody deserves love! What’s wrong with saying yes? It might make the anon smile and brighten their day!

Virgil!DD: What if you say yes, and then the anon who asked you to marry them comes back, and they’re angry at you for cheating, and then the other anons you’ve kissed and wrote love letters to come back and join the fight, and before you know it there’s dozens of drama-filled hate-messages clogging your inbox, because once you start answering the first few, MORE followers are going to take sides and join the fight and send in MORE asks----

Janus!DD: What's more important - Anons smiling, or DD feeling happy? This person is anonymous, and have never had any public contact with DD. Why should they open their heart to the anon, and all that potential drama of the first anon finding out, when gaining a side hoe won't actually affect DD in the slightest? And Roman, why should they be our side hoe, when they could be someone else's? There are lots of other people out there. We shouldn't feel obliged to do something that deep down, we don't want to do. DD also needs to remember that they have enough relationship drama, ever since upgrading Glyss to their Main Hoe, Queen of All Hoes, and Ultimate Hoe Goddess. How is the first anon they married going to react to that? DD's mental health comes first.

Patton!DD: Maybe Anon could get their own side rake? Then they could fork!    Remus!DD: Sometimes a sidechick isn't even a chick sometimes a sidechick is a bag of cement...

[demented-dukey]

Marry me 🥺💍 I wanna be the Roman to your Remus 👑 🐙

Oh, Anon!!! Yes! A million times, yes!!! You are the Prince to my Duke, the Katana to my Morningstar, the Dreams to my Nightmares, the Creativity to my... erm... Creativity...

We shall be married at once! I cannot wait to wrap you in my tentacles, to rest warm by your side at night. Together we shall face every new adventure, and slay any DragonWitch who dares to challenge us!

Only tell me your name, dearest anon, so I know who it is that sets my soul alight?

[demented-dukey]

Wanna be friends?? Please

Sure, I guess? I mean, I’m always up for making new friends, but if you have expectations or obligations then you may not want me to be your friend. I’ve been told that I’m not a very good listener, and ppl have gotten mad at me for not paying them enough attention. I don’t know what your requirements of friendship are, so I don’t really know what I’m agreeing to, if that makes sense?

There’s no summary on your blog and there’s only a handful of posts, so I don’t really know anything about you or your personality, nor do I know what we have in common?

I’m a distractable dumbass, but I’ll usually talk to anybody who wants to talk to me. If you wanna chat and see if that develops into what you consider a friendship, you’re welcome to pm me or hit me up on my discord server. :)

[demented-dukey]

But what if I never pretended that I hated you and I just wholeheartedly confessed that I've loved you all along?

Well then, dearest Anon, I would have to confess that I, too, have been harboring tender feelings towards your person that I can bear in secret no longer. You’ve pierced my soul. I'm half agony, half hope. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it eight years ago. I have loved none but you.

You alone, who brought me to Tumblr. For you alone, I think and plan.

Have you not seen this? I can hardly write. I must go, uncertain of my fate. A word, a look, would be enough.

Only tell me that I am... Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever.

Always, Eternally, Forever Yours, DD

[demented-dukey]

Kiss me dumbass please don't question it

At last, you have found me, as I always knew you would.

*Romantic music plays as we draw close, my hand cupping your face before sliding behind your neck to pull your mouth to mine. The softness of the kiss belays the strength of our love, a unity of souls as much as of bodies.*

(Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one was probably ranked #3.)

[demented-dukey]

Confession: I know I don’t know you personally and I know that you’re older than me, but I may kinda sorta like you :)

Aw, thank you, Anon. That’s really sweet.