Calm Down
Prompt #19: I sat down in the wrong class and today is just not good and you started laughing at me and now the bell has rung and I'm just having a breakdown and you feel guilty
Characters: Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson
Warnings: anxiety/panic attack
Feel free to request a prompt from this list or send me one of your own!
Alex could practically feel the panic attack that was forming. He wasn't at all prepared for Maths lesson, and he had already been stuck on his anxiety all day. Someone bumped into him in the hall, making him drop all of his books.
He dropped to the ground, quickly gathering his supplies. If this made him late, he wasn't going to be able to make it through the day.
Too focused on his stuff, Alexander didn't look up when he was in the classroom. He blindly made his way to his seat in the back of the classroom, throwing his stuff on the desk and folding his arms over his head.
“Calm down, calm down, c’mon brain…” he mumbled to himself. He heard the bell ring and people sitting down. Surprisingly, he couldn't hear Mr. Knox’s voice.
Someone sat down next to him, which was weird seeing as he was the only one in the back row. “Hamilton, how could you not even notice what class you were in?”
He felt the blood drain from his face. Looking up, he almost groaned out loud. This wasn't Maths with Mr. Knox, this was English with Coach Greene. Next to him, Thomas Jefferson.
“No, no this can't happen. Why would this happen?” He could hear Jefferson laughing next to him. The sound basically echoed in his ears, the only sound he could process was being laughed at.
“C’mon Hamilton, just stand up and go to whatever class you have next. Or, you could just stay here. No one notices you anyway.”
Alex crouched further into himself and tried to push back the tears, everything around him fading into a constant buzz. All he could feel was a weight coming in on his chest from all sides, making it harder and harder to breathe. His thoughts echoed what Jefferson had said. No one notices him.
Suddenly, Hamilton felt a hand on his knee. “Alexander, calm down, you’re scaring me.” That sounded like Jefferson, but he doesn’t care. “Please, before the teacher notices. I’m sorry I said that just please chill out!”
He managed to peek out at Jefferson. His face was mildly panicked, and he kept glancing over at Alexander. When he noticed Alex was looking at him, he made a small motion with his hand, breathing in as he brought it up and breathing out when he brought it down.
Alex took Thomas’s hand. Waiting for hims to do the motion again, he tapped once when his hand went up and twice when it went down. Then, he promptly stuffed his head back into his arms so the teacher wouldn’t notice him. Jefferson quickly caught on, doing the tapping instead of hand motions almost immediately.
The steady breathing had calmed him down enough by the middle of class that he was starting to feel foolish. After a few moments, he peeked out again.
“Sorry,” he mouthed at Jefferson. In response, he tore off a piece of paper and wrote, ‘Shut up, it was my fault anyway.’
Hamilton offered him a small smile and went back to trying to calm down. He was absolutely dreading the bell. Sneaking past Coach Greene was gonna be terrifying, then there’s Jefferson, and all the other people in the class, and next period is lunch which is terrifying on it’s own, and-
Somehow, Thomas noticed his breathing pick up before he did. Instantly, he grabbed his hand and started the tapping again. Alex calmed down even faster this time than he had before. As soon as he was calm, he squeezed Jefferson’s hand and tried to let go.
Oddly, Jefferson wouldn’t let go. When the bell rang (and Alex jumped), he still didn’t let go. He dragged Alexander up, out of the classroom, and behind some stairs.
Usually, Alexander would crack some joke about Jefferson having picked the perfect time to kill him, but things had just changed. He had calmed down in the face of two panic attacks with the help of Thomas Jefferson.
He looked up at Jefferson quizzically. “Look, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for the beginning of class. I saw that you were riled up and decided to bother you instead of ignore you. I should’ve just laid off or told you sooner or something.”
“It's fine. Thanks for…” Alexander trailed off, not exactly sure how to finish that sentence. ‘Thanks for making sure I wasn't caught?’ ‘Thanks for calming me down even though we hate each other's guts and agree on literally nothing?’
Thankfully, Thomas seemed to get his gist. “Well it was my fault; I wasn't about to just ignore you.”
They stood there awkwardly for a few moments before realizing they were still holding hands. Alex pulled away, clearing his throat as he felt a blush work its way onto his face.
“We should go to lunch if we want any food.” Jefferson took out his phone, scrolling through the lock screen before looking up again. “Unless you want your friends to freak out, you should probably go in first.”
Alexander nodded, opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, quickly shut it, and walked away.
Jefferson watched him walk away with a smile before shaking out of it. This doesn't change a thing if he doesn't let it.
