dear anthony, i don't wish id never met you. i wouldn't erase it at all. im grateful that our lives entwined for as long as they did- i don't regret spending my early twenties with you at all. im grateful for every time our lips touched each night before bed, and the way you'd pull me closer in your sleep. im grateful for you rubbing my neck every night and your heart beating next to mine with only our skin and bones separating them. im grateful for your hand in mine and your lips and tears on my shoulder blades as we whispered i love yous as we made love. no-i don't regret you at all. it hurts that you're gone, but those memories are so dear to me. you were the first person who ever really loved me back fully. you were the first person i ever dreamed of a future with. you were the person who was there for me every time my sister was hospitalized, and then when she died you were there too. im not saying i didn't also make huge sacrifices for you- but i look at these pictures and i don't have any doubt in my heart that in this moment, you loved me. in this moment, we had everything we ever needed. i will miss you so, so much. i already do. i mean it from the bottom of my heart that i hope you have a happy life- you gave me one, and you deserve one. love, mj