Dear Cassius, I don't hate you for once again reducing me to that giddy mass of girl that you used to make me be. I hate myself for it. There are three reasons for this: 1. I thought I was over you. I thought that with both you and I finding different people to be intimate with (on so many levels), I wouldn't still be in that continuous state of falling for you. And for the longest time I thought that I was right on track. I can't count the times we came across each other and I was "fine". Maybe feeling pangs of disappointment and jealousy, but so definitely immune to your charme. And here I am and I've relapsed. 2. Not only are you still with the same person I alluded to before, but now I am apparently involved with somebody, our mutual friend Doc, in fact. Not that I want to, but that is of little consequence. I am supposed to not stray, and you unknowingly tempt me in his very presence. And here I am and I've relapsed. 3. I had time, and opportunity, both amply, actually, to reflect on how I fudged it up with you. I went through the scenarios, played all variations out in my head, and attempted to learn from the experience. But then you catch me by surprise like this, and set me back to square one. I'm bette than this, but you're making it hard to prove. I should know better, but here I am and I've relapsed. Prepare for unspoken wishes on my side to rekindle the flame - because I'm kidding myseld that the ashes are alight. Yours, --Me
