Dear Charlie,
There has been so much loss in the past two years. Just this week there’s been a student suicide and the death of a teacher. Earlier this school year there was another student suicide and a student in a car crash. Last year there was an overdose that caused them a student to become brain dead and a teacher’s death at the lake. There’s been more incidents than this, I know, but it all just hurts. Death use to never bother me but it’s just surrounding at this point. I thought things were going to get better. Everything is suppose to get better. I was getting better. I now really hate how suicides are depicted in books and movies. 13 reasons why shows a whole school affected for a long time due to a suicide and posters up everywhere and a memorial in the hallway and on their locker and the parents trying to get so involved to find out how it happened when here, what has happened is the whole school carried on but of course many grieving, there aren’t any more posters, there’s no memorials for these students around the school, their parents weren’t even there when he was on the hospital. There were so many warning signs in the show but in real life there are none. Nobody knew it would happen. There’s stuff up for the teacher in the hallways. The school doesn’t even tell us when someone has passed. You have to walk through the halls and see people crying enough times to realize that something has happened again. I don’t want to go to school anymore. There’s nothing enjoyable. It’s all stress and somber moods and just another place to feel lonely. It’s almost over but after that there’s still two more years. I hope they go by quickly and less painfully but I’m sure this is only the beginning of a lot worse to come. I hope everyone makes it through all this and more. I don’t know what else to say here but I think I needed to write some of this out. Everything hurts and everything is just one step forward but two back. A false sense of progression. It’ll all pass eventually but I’m just telling myself that, everything gets worse and people just adapt.
. oai