#dear summer

[intrinsicmotives]

dear summer.. I know you're gonna miss me

[djsneakrfreak]

[gottahavesoul]

Navy Blue - “Off Top” Freestyle (Top Shelf Premium)

[gods-ipod]

“Dear Summer,

I know you gon’ miss me…”

[unnecessarypurchases]

very ready for summer 😮‍💨💕

[chefbo1rd]

I still love em, but they don’t love me🖤

[betweenthebody]

on “to my beloved, think we need some time away”

1. if only you knew what I sacrificed to get here. how I grabbed onto bleeding heart after bleeding heart just to say I didn’t arrive alone. how I made habit of starving my body at any given moment just so it could fit, anywhere. how I swallowed all of my memories so others couldn’t tell I was once abandoned. how I surrendered all of my dreams of him so that one of us could say we made it, alive. you’d drum all of your questions, fold all of your doubt. you’d burry your knees into the cloth and you’d just thank god that I made it.

2. you disappear one summer and I spend my entire life running after you. I hold onto you in any way that I can. I close my eyes and stain myself with your every photograph. I memorize your laughter. anyone that shares your name, I worship them. I pray in every language I know to never ever forget you. I realize I am incapable of letting go. maybe this is where the loss started. or how the worry grew. I am afraid that if I remember you wrong, even for one moment, I will lose you forever.

3. I try to erase the last six summers, the last six names, the last six months. but I arrive right back to where we left off. except the only thing that has changed is  I am more in love with you, and you are more in love with someone else.

4. I begin an experiment. I convince myself the two of us never existed. I lose sleep. stay awake so that you can’t grow in my dreams. I lose weight. remove you from my insides. I drink. mostly red wines and whisky straight until i can no longer keep you in my stomach. I go quiet. I forget your name. I forget the way you breathe when we lay next to one another not making a sound. I move to another city. I move to another man. I stand in the middle of the subway one day, carrying home the groceries, and remember, out of know where, that I knew love once.

[dylanowenmusic]

an unreleased song called “Dear Summer.” thanks to everyone who tuned in to the livestream the other night. I want to do these more often, felt good to play my songs with just a guitar and keyboard. can’t wait to eventually release this! dear summer you were just a fair weathered friend dear summer I don't know if I can talk to you again dear summer I don't know as I sit here leaning forward I feel the breeze of wedding season calling I watched an old friend leave this morning through the heat, through the grief, through the secrets we're keeping dormant and then it dawns on me I spent the best years of my life being haunted they walk down the aisle but I might stay a while here with the mosquitoes and the tiki torches yeah, yeah but something ain’t right call the paramedics, it’s a blood moon sky I miss the way we went through it at times till the sun came up on those suicide nights and I keep counting I keep waiting to take my steps I keep looking for some great explanation and I still haven’t found it yet all my friends are getting married and all those kids are having kids and everybody's moving on but me and it is what it is