As sorority women, we are often viewed as what movies and TV shows portray as the “typical sorority girl.” How can we gracefully correct people who have this point of view? I am studying to go into a STEM field, and I’ve received some backhanded compliments like, “You’re in a sorority? But you’re so smart!” Help me out here, Themis!
—Sally Science
Dear Sally Science,
Insert sad emoji face here for people who make unfair judgments and assumptions, especially about women such as yourself who are embracing their academic passions to pursue careers in a STEM field, which only 24 percent of women in the U.S. workforce hold careers in.
We can’t control the perceptions of people in our college communities, but each of us plays an active role in working to change them. Perhaps your “campus buddy” who hasn’t met any “smart sorority women” has only encountered women who were focused on other things. But, zister, you have the fire for wisdom and greatness within you.
If your campus friends are shocked you don’t have Skittles for brains and don’t fit the “sorority stereotype,” realize that this small-minded thinking is not about you and your experience, but rather about theirs. Introduce them to other smart sorority women in your circle of sisterhood. I mean, we’re in good company. Kate Spade was a Kappa Kappa Gamma at Arizona State University, Katie Couric was a Delta Delta Delta at University of Virginia, and there are hundreds of other celebrated women who have membership in fraternities and sororities. And while they’re killin’ the game in different fields, they all have one thing in common: They found a group of people who shared the ideals they stood for and they joined them.
Regardless of others’ preconceived notions about sorority women, you and I both know how amazing ZTA sisters are, so spread the knowledge! Keep breaking through those stereotypes, not just for you and women in fraternities and sororities, but for all women pursuing their passions in a STEM field. We’re all behind you and rooting for you.
Stay Noble,
Themis
⚖️ 🗡
“Dear Themis” is a recurring feature in which “Themis” answers your anonymous questions about ZTA, being in a fraternity/sorority or life in general. To submit a question, email [email protected] or send us a message on Facebook or Twitter.
I just graduated from college and got my dream job. The problem is, that involved moving to a big city far away from anyone that I know. How does a sister make friends in a city where everyone wears headphones all the time and looks angry?
Halp,
Friendless in Seattle
Dear Friendless,
This predicament reminds me of a certain little song you might know that starts: “Just a small town girl… livin’ in a lonely world…” Sounds like you may have taken the midnight train going anywhere to make your professional dreams come true. You already accomplished incredible feat #1: Score a sweet gig. Now let’s walk through the basic steps of how to make friends in the adult jungle of life.
Close your eyes and take yourself back to kindergarten. Friends could be made in mere seconds. A like-minded kid who also really enjoyed juice boxes and snacks entered your personal space? BAM! You scored a friend. Think back to your childhood friends. How did you all meet? You probably made friends on the soccer field or in an art class because you weren’t afraid to talk to the kid beside you, and you discovered you shared the most basic common interests. Donuts! Netflix! Stretchy pants! Shed the skin of always caring what people think and get out there again. Join a class to learn something new and talk to people you otherwise may not. You never know what kind of interesting people you’ll encounter.
This also may come as a surprise to you, but there is this other population of over 230,000 women out there who have the same experiences as you but you may have never met. Here’s a hint: It rhymes with betas. Zetas! There are 240 alumnae groups with women of all ages that do super cool things like attend Painting with a Twist parties, host mani/pedi nights and enjoy potluck dinners. And surprise: you already have at least one common interest with all of them—you all wear the crown. That’s one convo topic in your repertoire.
There’s a reason Peter Pan never wanted to grow up. Cause its not always fun. And it’s not always easy. Plus you have to go to bed early sometimes and paying bills is a drag. But you’ll look back on this time in your life and realize all the incredible ways you were pushed beyond the limits you normally would have set. You’ll be incredibly proud of yourself.
Stay Noble,
Themis
⚖️ 🗡
“Dear Themis” is a recurring feature in which “Themis” answers your anonymous questions about ZTA, being in a fraternity/sorority or life in general. To submit a question, email [email protected] or send us a message on Facebook or Twitter.
