#death 0

[eeriehowl]

🌳rin yamaoka ?? if you can!!!

tfw the killer falls asleep during a trial

send me more suggestions ?

[sonocomics]

Two years since

For those that may be new here, two years ago today my mother passed away on July 31, 2016. For this week I’ve decided to have comics that focused on memories I had with her, and other related posts. For this day of, I’d like to make a post.

Similar to last year, the post will be under a cut. I’m not sure of how long it’ll be or how focused, but yeah. 

Much like last year, this post is not made with the intent to make people sad - quite the opposite. My mother was the type of person who was friends with everyone and cared about their problems. I’d like to continue that legacy in some way, either through sharing smiles via comics or helping to heal by sharing stories of those now gone.

Obviously, my mother’s death still impacts me to this day, but I do not believe in a negative way. I have come to terms with it quite some time ago, and I am at peace with it. Something I’d like to mention is that there are actually quite a few missed opportunities or loose threads with my mother’s passing. She never got to see me graduate university. She never got to see her first grandchild. She never got to finish the fairy garden that she had been planning for the backyard. She did indeed miss out on many things.

It may seem strange to mention these things, especially as I mentioned this is not supposed to be a sad post, so why would I do that? I mention these things because I actually find joy in them. Yes, she may not have had the chance to do these things, but it just goes to show that she had plenty of opportunities left in her life. She still had plans, she still had things to look forward to, she still was living just like any other person - excited for what was coming next. She may not have had the chance to live out these plans, but in some way it makes me happy that she had so many things to look forward to when she passed. That she...truly lived right up until that last moment. I’m not sure I can perfectly word why, but it makes me happy and I thought that might make other people happy too :)

Something that is still perhaps the biggest “obstacle” is encountering situations where I would need to bring up her passing for context. Again, I am at peace with it, but that never changes the situations where people around you don’t know and perhaps make an “insensitive” remark that you need to correct. Then your worry is not that you’re sad but that you’re going to inevitably make things awkward by explaining.

A funny anecdote related to the above was actually around the first week after her passing. Someone phoned home and asked to speak with my mother. Now, rather than relapsing into my sadness about her passing, I actually was much more worried for the sake of this poor person on the phone who is going to no doubt think “oh my gosh I just reopened a fresh wound oh my god” and sure enough when I said what happened I could feel the tone in their voice. That interaction always stands out to me because gosh, this poor stranger now probably feels awful over something they couldn’t have possibly known.

Also related to the above however is something very important: although worrying about others is all fine and good and can occasionally help you sort out your own feelings too, there is NOTHING wrong in focusing on your own grief first. In fact, I believe it is CRUCIAL to do that first, especially if you’re looking to help someone else also suffering. Your advice and comfort comes through the filter that is you, and if you’re struggling yourself that filter is going to be “dirty” so to speak. Sometimes to be the best help to others you must first help yourself, be kind to yourself :)

I think the toughest thing with writing this is that I’ve looked at the post I wrote last year and...not much has changed. A lot of what I was wanting to say for this post is what I had said last year. Now, I don’t think that it’s a bad thing actually - in fact, it might be nice to have a reminder of those things.

A reminder that “bad times are just times that are bad”. A reminder to let your loved ones know that you love them. A suggestion to do something nice this week - whether it be lunch with a family member, going shopping with a friend, leaving a generous tip at a restaurant, or buying a coffee for the person behind you in line. :)

[fnafkinfessions]

Hi I'm a marionette and I wanted to stop him I really really did... But he locked the box up so I couldn't escape; when he let me out they were already dead; I couldn't do any better, why did you hate me for so long... I just wanted to help...

[jiggie]

[eeriehowl]

[[MORE]] ok ok.. thinking about that bel never joining the varia post a bit... i actually have thought about the scenario a few times, but in my head it never involved rasiel still dying. i love that though. it involved bel never doing that and stifling that as well as they can, though i actually doubt bel could manage to do that when i think about it. bel and rasiel would in this scenario though, remain in their Official royal seats. bel grows into an even more closed off person and barely talks, has a very elusive smile too. in that au i get a small hopeful picture of varia getting a job to assassinate rasiel, and they somehow sneak their way into a party/ball to do it. kinda spy assassin style. and they somehow feel a bond with bel, idk, one of em just clicks. and they think they’re talking to rasiel and realize their misunderstanding during the convo and feel oddly relieved. idk i think them meeting like that would be nice, it’d still fit the khr narrative with it’s ”destiny” obsession, aka making the vongola look exactly like their counterparts in gen 1 etc.

also thought of an au where rasiel joins the varia instead, and if you thought bel gets on varia’s nerves, then u haven’t imagined rasiel yet... rasiel has a league more of narciccism than bel, and his self-praise is a 100% genuine. he also talks A LOT compared to bel who actually doesn’t speak up that much. squalo actually tells him to shut up more than once, and even xanxus stoops there. rasiel takes it seriously when it’s xanxus, but squalo doesn’t get him to quiet even if he starts to chase him. xanxus has a genuine dislike of rasiel, so does squalo, while lussuria still feels a sisterly feeling she can’t shake. they don’t fire rasiel though and do their best not to kill him because despite his attitude, he is a prodigy. he’s stronger than bel for sure. meanwhile bel is feral and trying to find a place to fit in the world.

[fnafkinfessions]

Ahem yes, in my Spring Bonnet canon, the poor dude in the suit lost his life because William, the Bastard, did some wack ass shit, and the ghost mistook him for Afton. Afton broke all of the animatronics, and then framed him, which made the ghosts mistake him for William. The dude who died in the suit was a fucking sweetheart and deserved so much fucking better, fuck you, you crusty purple asshole. Spring shouldn't get blamed for your bs-💛🐰🎃

[fnafkinfessions]

i'm springtrap, and i was NOT afton. i was a regular night guard, i couldn't take it anymore and tried to hide. i wasn't laughing when i died, i was crying. the night guard uniform was ALWAYS purple. afton died in a spring bonnie costume, yes, but he wasn't me. we were entirely separate beings, both mentally and physically. i attacked the night guards because the children begged me to, told me that they were certain it was him that time - and they were wrong.

[fnafkinfessions]

me: oh, i haven't tried any of those "past life memories" things in a while, i'll do one to see if i get anything new kin-wise! me: *gets super vivid memories of burning to death at the end of pizzeria sim* me: ah. yes. don't know what i expected. -eli. afton/baby/scrap baby