[A/N: I guess y'all deserve some closure (I love how I pretend y'all care about Cal’s story) also props to @ariciaeast for helping me cowrite this. Her version can be found on her blog eventually]
I was glad I wasn’t complacent enough to spend the week away being idle. I took advantage of my extra time to spend time with my friends. I baked cookies with Dev - well I found out she doesn’t actually makes her own cookies but rather had the chef make them for her. We bonded over leftover cookie dough while watching him bake them. I felt the chemistry between Dev and the chef. I was happy that if she didn’t win, she had options.
Aricia, Isabella, Debbie, and I were lounging in the library every morning since my date. After breakfast, if we didn’t have any pre-established plans, we would walk towards the libraries and seek solitude in each other and in the walls of literature that surrounded them. Unfortunately, as the week progressed, there was a notable increase in the tension between us. With my looming departure, we realized that we were losing good friends and sisters. They all tried their best to bring the vibe back to normal. Debbie joked about desserts, Aricia tried to lighten the mood with terrible puns, Izzy just had to be her usual bubbly self. I admired them greatly for their efforts but that didn’t change the fact that Dominic was going to boot me.
I accompanied Emma around the Palace as she snapped her pictures and I temporarily took over Maddie in teasing her about Alec. Theia and I had a lovely time discussing her family life and her various potato growing techniques.
And Aly, oh Alystair. I don’t know where I’d be without him. He made the last week worthwhile. My friends were amazing and having Aly come over at the end of the day to review our days was a real treat. He would give me all the juicy details on what was happening with everyone in the Palace, talk about new recruits and some of the intense training they’ve had. No one would ever suspect it with his career choice but Aly was a talented musician. He was a Five before he was drafted to the Palace and was the most talented violinist I’ve heard. His music was appreciated even more by me because of my sensitive hearing. I could hear every string being eloquently rubbed against the bow. I could spend years listening to him play.
The last night, he didn’t play and I frowned already missing the bow pressed against the strings. The air was tense and somber.
“The Prince had his last date today, he’ll be announcing the official eliminations tomorrow.” His tone matched the atmosphere. I fell onto my bed, in disbelief. Had a week gone by so fast? Instinctively the walls went up. What’s the point of letting him in when I’m going home tomorrow? I shifted into a faux happy mood.
“I’m sure I’ll be fine. Like Vad said one bad date doesn’t necessarily mean a bad relationship.” He hummed in agreement but he seemed reluctant. I heard him take a breath and was going to say something before I interrupted him.
“I’m exhausted, Theia showed me how to plant potatoes today. It’s harder than you think it is. I think I’ll sleep early today. Goodnight Aly.” I could tell he wanted to protest but I yawned loudly to avoid his protests. I practically pushed him out the door. I found my way back to my bed before I heard Isla’s clicking tongue.
“Oh don’t you start, Isla. I’m going to bed.”
“Pushing him away isn’t helping anyone, Miss.”
“What have I’ve said about calling me Miss, Isla?” I ignored her comment completely. By now, she should know that I was going to aggressively ignore the problem at hand. What does she think I’ve been doing the past week?
***
That thoughtless bastard! You’d think he himself would come to eliminate me officially but now as the butler stood before me uttering the news, I should have known better. In my fit of my rage, I dismissed the messenger rudely. He should be glad I didn’t shoot him. I felt bad when I heard him whimpering on the way out. I breathe and count to 10 to calm myself.
He had told me that I had to pack and leave by the afternoon. I brought the bare minimum of my aiding devices so I didn’t have much to pack. Father was going to be so disappointed. I’ve been so busy with the Palace life, I forgot to call my family. I can’t seem to do anything right. I’m a terrible date, daughter and friend to Alystair. I had Isla locate my aids and threw them into my backpack.
By the time Isla dressed me, I had hot angry tears running down my face. The door opened and I caught a whiff of Paris and Valencia’s perfume. They sat me down and worked silently. Paris wiped away the tears with a warm face towel and started applying the necessary makeup.
“At least leave in style, Miss- I mean Cal.” Paris smiles at me and I can feel her positivity spreading to me. As Paris’ blush brush tickled me, Valencia started pulling at my hair. The heat of the curling iron prickled against my neck.
“Do you want me to get the Captain?” Isla asked just as Paris and Valencia laid the final touches on me. My head helper thought she was so cheeky wanting to bring Aly along to mend my heart. I couldn’t so I shook my head.
“I’d like to see my friends first.” I stood up as my make up artist and hair stylist stepped back. I gripped my dress, feeling up the texture. It was silky and blue, it fell to my knees. It was perfect.
When I stepped out of my room, I heard echoes of footsteps. I caught whiffs of their various perfumes and I instantly knew it was my usual book gang - consisting of Cia, Izzy and Debs. The tense and sombre air hung awkwardly amongst us. We regrouped and made our way to the Dining Hall for Breakfast. My last meal, we’ll call it that. Normally during our walk to the hall, we talked about all the things that had happened, cracking jokes and laughing noisily, getting strange looks from the guards, but today was a different day, with none of us daring to break the silence, until I spoke.
“Hey, could one of you help me get downstairs? I wouldn’t want to go home with an injury.” I forced a laugh. Izzy moved to my right side while Cia walked to the other, grabbing my arms and leading me down the stairs, while Debs walked beside us, possibly watching the steps. Once we reached the end, the girls let go of my arms, and started walking towards the dining hall, the blanket of silence drifting on top of us once again.
Once we arrived at the dining hall, we waved to all the other girls, who were also sitting silently, eating their food. We all walked over to join the rest of the Breakfast Club - Emma, Dev and Theia seemed to have gotten up earlier - and sat in our normal seats, helping ourselves to the food on the table. Izzy and Aricia both silently talked about small things, while we all occasionally snuck glances at the royal table. They all seemed happy, talking animatedly amongst each other, which clearly wasn’t the case amongst some of the Selected - particularly our group.
Once breakfast was over, the four of us bid the other three goodbye while they went off to go on with their daily affairs. Emma and her impromptu photo shoots, Dev probably went off to her Chef friend and I’m fairly certain Theia was raising a Potato Army in the Royal Garden. We walked towards the library, not wanting to break our normal morning tradition. We walked in, sat down, and waited for someone to bring up a book first.
“Well, I read this book last week-“, Izzy started, but Aricia interrupted her.
“Please, Izzy, not now… “She started and must have shot her a pleading glance at Izzy, who automatically understood, and changed the topic.
“So, Cal, what are you planning for after the selection?” She asked, voicing the question that I’m sure was on all of their minds.
I shrugged, fiddling with a stray book I found, “I’m not sure. I just want to live out my life without any burdens or pressures.”
Debbie nodded, “That makes sense. It’s a good time as any to discover yourself right now.” We all chorused in agreement, before sinking back into silence again.
“When are you leaving, Cal?” Aricia asked, I heard her running a hand haphazardly through her blonde locks.
I smirked slightly, “Wow, Cia, you sound eager to be rid of me.” My defense mechanism, ladies and gentlemen.
Aricia rolled her eyes, “That not what I meant, and you know it Cal.” She said, I heard the corners of her mouth tugging up ever so slightly. Debbie and Izzy laughed, shaking their heads at us.
“You make us laugh even in the darkest times, Cal.” Izzy said, moving towards me to give me a hug, “I’ll miss you so much” she mumbled into my shoulder. I wanted to cry and not let go of her. I didn’t want to go. Debbie and Aricia both got up, wrapping their hands around us, enclosing us into their embrace.
“I’ll miss you guys as well. You were the highlight of my stay here, and I will never forget any of you.” I said, pulling away, “You better write, or else” I threatened, which sent the four of us into a state of delirious laughter. We kept laughing, until they heard a throat clear from the doorway, which caused them to stop laughing. The girls turned around to see Aly standing by the door, waiting to be invited into the room. But I had smelled his aftershave before I even heard his throat clearing.
“Come on in, Captain Costas, no need to be shy,” Aricia said slyly, which causing me to blush slightly and Debbie, Aricia and Izzy to laugh.
“Haha, very funny Cia,” I said, rolling my eyes, but you could hear the laughter in my voice. Aly walked further into the room, coming to a stop in front of us.
“Ladies, if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to Lady Calista for a minute,” he said, rubbing a hand at the back of his neck. He was nervous which calmed my own nerves.
“Oh, of course! We’ll give you both the alone time you need,” Izzy exclaimed, dragging a laughing Debbie and Aricia out of the room before I could murder them. I rolled my eyes at my friends,
“I’ll get you back later!” I yelled after them, before turning to look at Aly once the door shut.
“So, Alystair, what did you want to talk to me about?” I asked, knowing full well what he wanted to talk about. He ran a hand through his hair, before taking the seat opposite to Cal,
“Were you honestly going to leave without saying goodbye?” he asked, his voice strained. So his nerves could be blamed on my friends’ presence. He was annoyed.
Well, he doesn’t beat around the bush.
I sighed and gave it to him straight, “I thought it’d be easier that way.”
“What would be easier?” His eyebrows shifted to a frown, brushing against his forehead.
“Leaving without saying goodbye would make the goodbye easier, wouldn’t you think? No emotional sobbing, no empty promises, nothing.” I said bluntly.
“Easier for you, but not for me,” He exhaled exasperated, but before I could answer, he stood up, “It’s been a pleasure meeting you, Calista. I must get going now, have a safe journey home.”
“Wait! Where are you going?” I asked, and silently reprimanded myself. What did I care that this man was walking away from me?
“I do have a job here, you know,” Alystair said mockingly, “I hope we meet again Calista Ledger, I hope we meet again very soon” he added, slipping out of the room before I could get one word in against him. I caught brief muffled conversations between him and my friends before they came tumbling back in.
“Cal?” Debbie asked, walking into the room first, “Are you ok?”
I nodded, unsure as to how I was feeling at the moment, “I have to go to my room and grab my stuff. It’s almost time for me to go.”
“Cal-“ Izzy started, but I held up a hand, definitively silencing her, “Not now, Izzy. I’ll talk to you all later when I’m doing packing up, okay? I’ve got some things I need to think about. Now if you’ll excuse me,” I said, storming out of the room and leaving my friends dumbfounded.
In all honesty, I felt bad about what I did. All my friends wanted was to help me out and spend time with me, but I couldn’t even allow them that. I shook my head, shaking the thoughts out of my mind. If I started thinking like this, I knew I’d go back and spill everything to the girls, and I couldn’t handle that right now. I walked up the stairs slowly, getting assistance from a guard who was standing by the railing. I thanked him when I got to the landing, and walked towards my room.
I thanked the Gods when my helpers were still there. I would get to say my goodbye. The three of them stood before me, not knowing what to say. I broke out into a smirk directed at Isla.
“It is my last day, this warrants a hug don’t you think?” I heard her rolling her eyes.
“You’re an odd one, Cal.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment, Isla.” I teased, pulling the three of them into a bone crushing hug. I whispered my thank you softly into their ears. I hope my hug said it all. I would be nothing without these three. We soon had to break up the love fest because it was nearing noon and I had to leave. I slung my backpack over my shoulders and walked out the door with my head held high and the walking stick in my hand. Just because I decided to leave with grace doesn’t mean my blindness was magically cured.
I was just exiting the Hall when I felt the loud thud of his steps and smelled the scent of his aftershave. His steps were louder and rougher than usual. He was mad and I don’t blame him. The sound stops and I hear his deep breathing. He can’t even speak because he’s so mad.
“You’re actually going to leave without saying goodbye, aren’t you,” Aly said, with a structure in his tone that caught me off guard. I took a moment to reevaluate my situation, knowing that if I responded, I’d give into my vulnerability, which was the last thing I needed right now. But, the smarter part of me screamed to give him an answer and walk away, acting unaffected.
“I was going to send you a postcard.” I blurted, trying to ease the tension. He was not amused, evident from the exasperated sigh that escaped him.
“I know you’re blind but surely you’re not an idiot! You know how I feel about you, Calista. I know you feel the same.”
I stood there, rendered speechless. What could I say to that? That I loved him back? Truth. That I didn’t want anything to do with him? Lie. I knew that I couldn’t say either of those, because my truth would give Aly everything he needed to hold me back, but he would see through my lie instantly.
Quickly making my decision, I donned a face of indifference, “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, repeating the same lie I had told countless times before.
“Ah, I know what you’re doing” he said, his voice as gentle as the morning wind. I placed my hands stubbornly on my waist, staring him down the same way I did when we first met.
Its funny how our story both started and seemed to be ending the same way.
“What exactly am I doing?”
I’m not going to patronise you, Cal. You don’t have to push me away. I want you to stay.”
“You’re crazy! Dominic would never allow it!” I scoffed. He laughed and suddenly all the tension between us dissolved. He ruffled my hair, and I shook my head trying to get rid of his touch. He was such a weirdo, why do I even like him?
“AH HA! You do fancy me!” He exclaimed, sounding happier than a kid on Christmas morning. I ran over what I had said in my head and I groaned when I realised I had said it out loud.
“It doesn’t matter, I’m leaving.” I hitch up my backpack and make a move to go around him when he pulls me towards him. I try to resist but end up melting into his arms. I could feel his soft breath on my forehead, and the thundering of his heart beneath his uniform. I start to blush, I had made that happen.
“I want you to stay but not in the Palace, that isn’t my call but I do have an apartment outside the Palace. You could stay and study in Angeles University so we’d still be close. Please, Cal. We could be happy.” The last part of his sentence was what broke me out of my trance. I knew that with the way things were going now, I couldn’t be happy. Not until I could have some time to heal and sort out everything back home.
“Life isn’t a fairy tale, Aly. I have a family to get home to. I’ve disappointed them enough” I said, wrenching myself out of his hold and walking away. This time, Alystair didn’t stop me.
I walked down the hallway, and in my haste, bumped into someone, sending us both sprawling out on the floor.
“Oh my, I’m so sorry! Are you ok?” I asked, getting up and dusting herself off.
“Cal?” A voice said, coming close to her, and I recognized it as the voice of Aricia.
“Hey, Cia,” I started, and tried to walk around herl. Unfortunately for me, Aricia knew what I was planning on doing and grabbed my wrist with an iron grip.
“Where are you going? You just ran away without any explanation, and we’ve been looking for you for the past half hour!” She exclaimed, incredulous.
I sighed, and turned to look in Cia’s general direction, “I’m sorry, Cia, it just…” I trailed off, and Aricia started guiding her down the hallways.
“Where are we going?” I asked, continuing to match Aricia’s brisk pace.
“Well, you’re leaving soon, and Debbie, Izzy and I want answers, so you’re going to give them to us,” she said forcefully.
I was shocked, I’d never seen Aricia behave this coldly before. Whatever was bothering her, I made it my mission to figure out.
“Here we are,” Aricia said, leading me into a room.
“Where are we?” I asked, trying to gauge my surroundings
“The library,” Aricia stated, the edge coming back into her voice again.
What was up with her?
“Izzy? Debbie?” Aricia called, looking around the library.
“Back here!” Came a voice, and Aricia guided both of us to it. We walked silently, Aricia’s hand still clasping mine with a vice like grip. We kept walking until we reached a small nook in the corner of the library - Aricia was feeling generous enough to describe it to me.
“Oh, you found her,” Debbie said with a breath of relief, as we approached them.
Aricia nodded I heard her hair brush against her neck, and let go of my wrist, as if it were poison. She walked over and took a seat beside Izzy, who looked at her with concern. They whispered amongst themselves before turning to me. I turned my full attention to them when they started to question me.
“So, Cal,” Izzy started, shifting her gaze from one friend to another, “Why did you storm out?”
I shrugged, “I was going to leave without saying goodbye to Alystair, which made him upset.”
Debbie gasped, “How could you? You know he cares about you, right?” I groaned, hating the way the conversation was going,
“What do you mean, how could I? Just because he cares about me doesn’t mean that I’m going to drop everything that’s going on in my life and be with him!” I yelled, my voice getting louder with each word, and a deathly silence followed my outburst. I instantly felt guilty.
“Debs, I’m sorry, I know you want what’s best, but I don’t know what to do,” I apologized.
Debbie sighed, “It’s ok, Cal, but that didn’t give you the right to yell,” she said.
Always the peacemaker, I thought, but the irony of her words didn’t get past me. So, it was alright for Aricia to be upset for no reason, but not for me to be upset with one?
“Speaking about people not having the right to do things,” I started, looking around the room, “What’s wrong with you, Aricia?”
Aricia tensed, her body going stiff as a rod, “I don’t want to talk about it,” she forced out, her gaze steely.
“But-“ I interjected, trying to get an answer out of Aricia, but was interrupted by the latter.
“I said, I don’t want to talk about it,” She stated, her words getting icier by the minute. Honestly, what was her damage? I felt my temper rising but quickly calmed myself, not wanting to ruin my last day with them. She will tell me in due time.
“Come on, Cal,” Izzy said, checking her watch, “it’s almost time for you to leave, let’s walk you to the front doors.” We got up and walked towards the doors speechlessly, as if there was an invisible force that kept our mouths shut. When we arrived there, all the other ladies who were eliminated were standing there, with the girls still in the Selection saying goodbye to each of their friends. We walked up to my haversack where Emma, Dev and Theia were waiting and stood there speechlessly. I went around saying my individual goodbyes to each girl. I hugged them tightly, I was going to miss them terribly. After I was done, they circled around me in sombre silence.
“Well, I guess this is goodbye then,” Debbie said, breaking the ominous silence.
“No,” I stated, “not goodbye, just… the start of something new.”
All of us stood together, looking at each other before coming together for a brief hug. When we pulled away, I could hear sniffles and tears rolling down cheeks from all around.
“Here’s to forever,” Izzy whispered, looking around at all her friends
“Here’s to forever.” We echoed.
