@deceasedfly said : new leaf & cadmium yellow!! / c: i want sads but make it a happy ending ? :pensive: + ACCEPTING !
if u wanted a Sappy Ending, u came to the wrong blog
cadmium yellow : what subjects or topics does your muse avoid, because they bring up harmful / painful memories?
aside from The Most Obvious Two weddings, rare as they are considering This Is The Demon Slayer Corps and Everyone Dies As Fast As Flies, are a Big™ thing that he avoids seeing? i think fox masks are also a big thing he doesn’t like to be surrounded by, as it just brings that crawling sensation of Reminding Him of You Know Who. also, if you look at Giyuu’s dojo(? i don’t know what it is) IT’S SO BAR E ???? i think this signifies how much giyuu is trapped in the past that he doesn’t believe himself worthy to just MOVE ON and let himself live? not only that, but he literally has no goddamn hobbies because i think he just doesn’t believe they’re worth his time? no matter what he does, he’s got such polar opposite people haunting him. you wanna do origami? nah, your sister was better. you wanna do some fishing? it’s useless & time consuming when you could be out on a mission. you wanna train to keep up your sword skills? you can TRY but sabito was SO MUCH better than you. YOU WANNA COOK SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU’RE HUNGRY? BOTH YOUR SISTER & SABITO WERE BETTER COOKS THAN YOU AND THEY’RE DEAD.
literally this man is Haunted to the point where it hurts &i ‘m not O ka y
new leaf : what message would your muse send to their past self, if any?
honestly, this Concept™ as a whole is difficult to answer? because giyuu, at one point, did constantly remember the promise he made — it’s just a matter of As He Began Killing More & More Demons in hand - to - hand with The Amount Of Lives He’s Failed To Save that he started hating disliking to remember ANYTHING about Sabito or his sister. it’s even canon that the very thought of either of them them hurt him so much, it pretty much whacked his ability to even leave his room for a whole DAY, at minimum? he can’t just tell his past self “Remember The Promise You Made Sabito” because his old self’s reaction / answer will be “of course i remember.” or “i don’t want to remember them!” Giyuu tumbles down through a VERY real & clawing self - abusive version of depression; at first using the deaths of his two beloved to push him to fight harder, be faster, be better to help rescue others. but then his own mind warps that image of those two into something he constantly berates himself & he even CANONNICALLY voices that it doesn’t matter how much harder he pushes on because he will never be as good as Sabito if he had just lived. so he can’t even tell himself “don’t worry, it gets better & just keep doing your best” because Young Giyuu will be skeptical but let it linger in his head, whereas Descending Into Depression Giyuu will ignore those words entirely and refuse to ever believe them.
however, the WORST message (i personally believe) to send to his past self would be “Do not waver.” or “You always need to keep your heart steady.” which are both words Urokodaki - sensei imparted on him if you read his side manga. ironically as these are the words giyuu tries his best living by, these are also the Most Haunting words over his whole mentality. he berates himself whenever he gets too emotional (which is why i personally think he doesn’t like getting emotional In General because it’s a gigantic slippery slope that he can easily fall into) because if he doesn’t do his job as not even a Pillar, but a Demon Slayer, when he’s suppose to be out there rescuing someone else, then he thinks it’s just all the more proof of how useless compared to the others unworthy is he of the title
tl;dr He Wouldn’t Because Depression Is Mean ™
