This drabble takesplace mid-December 1613, just under a week after The Enemy sent his message toThe Watch.
Fellow Watchers,
Nurse Dawn Elizabeth Hatch and I are approximately halfway through ourreturn journey to Fort Stiofán,and have set up camp for the night along the Guardian River. I am pleased toreport that our search for wild herbs and medicinal ingredients on the slopesof rural House Schneeplestein was largely successful, the information we weretransporting to the scholars of House Schneeplestein has been delivered safely,and our cart is now heavy laden with tomes and supplies from the college andport. Lord willing, we should arrive back at the garrison within two days.
Nurse Dawn would like to inform Nurse Roísin Spewraith that wechanced upon some of the herbs she requested along the western bank of the river,just before the land rises towards House Jackie and the capital. She also wantsto tell her that, while she does not begrudge the favor, maybe Roísin shouldget some time away from the garrison and gather her own herbs next week? It’s unlikely that young Morganawill get into any serious trouble in the two days it would take to travelback and forth, and if Roísinis truly that worried, she can always take her sister with her.
The evening has been relatively quiet. No threats of TheEnemy have shown themselves, not that we would have noticed. After The Enemysomehow sent that message earlier this week, I wonder that we’ve ever been ableto predict his movements in the past.
Dawn tells me to not despair, that, “deep down, he can stillbleed,” but it’s hard not to fear what evil plans The Enemy has in store forthe kingdom. The Watch and its mission is based on that fear, and to ignore itwould be foolish beyond belief…
Yet in a way, Dawn is right.
Here we sit, nurse and bard, conversing around a smolderingfire under the stars. We’ve laughed and cried and grown close on this journeyin a way I would never have anticipated. The Enemy threat may have brought ustogether, but moments like these define The Watch just as much as the doom heseeks. Perhaps even more so.
The mission of The Watch is not to stop The Enemy, but toprotect Duilintinn and preserve the legacy of King Sean. Even in the most mundaneof tasks and humble of folks, this central goal shines through everything I’veseen in my time within The Watch. The Enemy’s recent actions may have filled mewith dread, but this journey with Dawn has shown me that, if we come together,we will have the hope and positivity to match him.
With hope and warm regards,
Bard Emily Keyes
Written to Fellow Members of The Watch in the Twelfth Monthof the Year One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirteen
This is a narrative write-up of the conversation between Nurse Dawn and Bard Emily referenced in this drabble. Both are based on an RP between @a-septic-mind and I, back in the early days of this AU. While said drabble offers some good context, it’s not vital to understanding the story below.
For reference, this takes place in late December 1613, about a week after The Enemy’s message to The Watch (“Still Here I See. Very Good.”) and the raids that followed. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, head over to this masterlist, scroll down to “December 1613,” and start reading. ;)
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They had just finished setting up camp when she finally got up the courage to ask.
"What was it like?"
The question had been burning in her mind all day, not unlike the fire the nurse was tending beside her: both fascinating and dangerous. She didn’t know what finally prompted her to ask, but once she began, the words spilled out.
"You were what, a teenager when the overnight defense happened? I only remember bits of it from what I saw out my window, and no one ever wants to talk about their memories of it-"
Which of course, is why she shouldn’t be asking this in the first place. Returned to her senses, the young bard snapped her mouth shut, refusing to lift her eyes from the fire. Maybe if she didn’t look at Dawn, the nurse wouldn’t feel obligated to answer-
"I was...fifteen, yes. I remember...the panic at first. No one was expecting it really. My brothers were one of the first to take up arms. Then my father. And I...was left behind.”
"Oh." That was not the answer Emily had expected. Once faced with the truth, she didn’t even know how to respond. Not that she didn’t have questions, but…
They sat in silence for a while, the bard’s face scrunched up in thought as she tried to word her next question, painfully aware of how much she was pushing her luck, yet now more curious than before.
"Were they... I mean... are they... no... did... did they come back? Not to be rude or anything I just-"
She stopped herself before she dug an even bigger hole for herself, cursing her clumsy words. And yet, if only the bard had glanced up from staring into the fire, she might have been relieved to see Dawn smile softly before she answered.
“Yes, they came back the next morning and I was lucky enough to only have to patch up a few scars.” There was a crunch of frozen grass as Dawn settled back to watch the fire beside the bard. "But not everyone was so lucky."
"No..." echoed Emily in a sing-songy tone that faded off as she got lost in thought for a moment. Something about Dawn’s tone had begun to set her at ease; the nurse probably wouldn’t get upset if she pushed a bit further, right?
And if she was being honest with herself… ever since The Enemy had sent that message… she had needed someone to talk to for a while now. Wasn’t that the whole point of this trip, anyway? Getting her out of the garrison, out of her own head… at least, that was what Dawn had seemed to imply when she suggested that the bard come along on her trip to House Schneeplestein.
Besides, it’s not like Emily had ever been shy about opening up to random people before, anyway. May as well keep burying herself the hole she had started to dig for herself.
"It's all very strange, being here right now. When I was a kid, the enemy was just... I dunno, a scary bedtime story or something. Like, he was real, and you heard about him all the time, but as a kid you were always protected and distanced from it. Like some invisible window separated him from reality in my mind. Even after I joined The Watch, he still felt that way. To see what's happening now... it's like a bedtime story come to life."
Once she began, the bard found it hard to stop talking, simultaneously aware of how strange she must sound and relieved at finally being able to articulate everything that had been on her mind since the holiday celebrations had begun. "It changes your entire worldview."
"It does," Dawn agreed, pulling the stick from the fire and staring at the embers on the tip. "Things can change in an instant. One minute, all is calm and the next… the next it's...funerals and...family members vanishing in the night.”
"All is calm... all is bright..." She couldn’t help it, the haunting melody slipping from the bard’s lips and sending a shiver down her spine. For a moment, the notes just hung in the air, taunting them among the crackling of the fire.
Finally, Emily broke the silence. "So strange… that such a peaceful song could cause so much fear. It was once supposed to be about the time of waiting and preparation before a beacon of hope appeared to save the world... now it's the opposite. Waiting and preparation for a war that will never end, against an enemy we cannot beat."
"That's the kind of thoughts he wants." Dawn looked at the younger woman, the red glow of the fire illuminating a quiet sadness behind her eyes. "Admitting he is undefeatable makes him so, but deep down he can still..." She falters, taking a shaky breath. "He can still bleed."
Emily made an unexpected snort of laughter. "Well yeah, his neck probably has been infected for years!" With the melodramatics benefiting the more extroverted members of her guild, the bard rose onto her knees, miming a slashing motion at her throat. "If the rumors are to be believed, he still hasn’t gotten the sense to get that wound cleaned since The Overnight Defense!"
The concept seemed incredibly funny to the young bard, who had collapsed to the ground once again, giggling uncontrollably. She took a deep breath, trying to get herself under control, but only managed to laugh harder.
"God, I'm a twenty-year old," she finally choked out. "A few decades ago, I’d have been having a million giggling children by now, not giggling myself!"
Dawn stifled her own laugh. "A little sense of humor never hurt anyone!"
"Well, since I'm probably never gonna have kids- since I'm probably never gonna get married- I need to make up for the amount of giggles I'll hear in my life." With a final sigh of laughter, the bard rolled over and kicked her legs into the air, using the momentum to propel herself back into a seated position. Smiling, she finally dared to dart a glance at the nurse beside her-
Only to see Dawn suddenly looking crestfallen. With a sigh, the nurse shrugged sadly in response to the bard’s concerned expression. "It’s nothing… I only wish I could have made that decision."
"Oh... I'm sorry." Emily sat in awkward silence for a moment, shoving her hands under her legs in an attempt to still her nervous fidgeting. "But that means you have the time and opportunities to help kids who don't have moms, right? So that's kinda cool. Not everyone gets the opportunity to make a difference like that."
"And I love every bit of it." Dawn smiled. "We all have our place I suppose."
Emily pounced happily upon that small smile, relieved and thrilled to have assuaged the sadness caused by her careless words. "Exactly! If everyone was the same, that would be... I dunno... not good. Imagine if that sameness was based on The Enemy! Everyone being like The Enemy would be even worse than not good."
The bard laughed a bit to herself at that, clearly enjoying the natural way the words tumbled out of her mind, heedless of the grammar and form that dictated her role as a bard in The Watch.
"It's nice, being able to just… be myself for a bit. Not that I'm not myself in the garrison... but it's a different self. The gotta-do-my-job self that knows it has people depending on me, especially when there's an emergency to take care of. Whereas here, when I don't really have any jobs to do, I get to be my goofball self that laughs at everything and says really deep or just random stuff for no good reason."
"You can always come talk if you need to. I know the barracks are kind of stuffy."
"Eh, I don't mind that. I like the routine. It's just... I dunno. Sometimes you need a break from being an adult in the way everyone else wants you to be an adult. You have to meet in the middle when you're working on a team effort, like in The Watch, so I try to act a bit more like most people expect an adult to act, but sometimes that just gets tiring.”
Emily glanced at Dawn again, worried she was talking too much, but the nurse didn’t seem to mind. Thank goodness; she hadn’t realized just how much she needed to talk to someone until she finally had the chance to begin.
“That's why I ended up leaving House Schneeplestein; everything is always a group effort of adults trying to be mature and rational all the time, and sometimes it's just too much to keep track of. In House Jameson, no one bats an eye if you're a bit of a ditz who sometimes needs to take an hour or two of alone time in random mountain alcoves to collect her thoughts. House Schneeplestein expected my thoughts to already be collected 24/7. So now, I collect my thoughts when I'm delivering messages to other outposts or when I'm alone in my room working on maps and such. It helps me meet everyone else in the middle when they expect to see an adult-adult announcing these horrible things about the war."
Suddenly out of breath, the bard finally fell silent.
"If I may,” asked Dawn, carefully returning her stick into the fire, “Why did you decide to document all this? Surely you could have left it to someone else and focus on other things?"
Emily shrugged. "No one else was doing it. Everyone else was too busy worrying about what was happening and what we needed to do about it.”
“And that’s all?”
“Well, there’s more to it than that. I’ve always been fascinated with history, so… it just felt right, I guess. After all, this kingdom's only about three decades old, and everyone still assumes that most of our history lives in recent memory. It’s only once we start to forget that the historians will start scrambling for whatever letters, records, and remnants of the past we’ve left behind. So I figured... why not start now? It's not like I'm very good at any actual fighting stuff, and who knows? Maybe offering everyone else a long-term perspective will help them figure out something we've missed. Our past has a lot of mysteries, especially for such a short period of time."
"That's a very noble reason. And it seems you are settling in just fine here."
"Well, it's not like I'm new. I joined... oh gosh... seven years ago? I couldn't help much until a few years back, but even then, I've never taken such an active role within The Watch before this point." The bard laughed, a cross between genuine humor and morbid irony. "How funny that, the moment I start to do so, The Enemy decides to make his next move."
"There's always something."
"I swear, it's like he was waiting for me or something, and then decided to screw with my every effort to do so. I know it's probably all just a coincidence, and heaven knows I'm not the most alert person in the world, but still..."
"Sometimes timing isn't ideal, but I admire your perseverance. You do your House proud, I think."
Somehow, those few words were enough to render the bard absolutely speechless, processing the compliment she had just received as Dawn leaned back to look up at the sky.
After a long moment, it was the nurse’s turn to break the silence. "Some say our fates are predestined, written by the stars. Do you believe that?"
Simultaneously startled and relieved by the change of subject, Emily stared back into the fire. She knew what she wanted to say… but how to say it? Finally, after a fruitless moment of searching the flames for her answer, the bard slowly began to speak.
"I think there's some greater power up there, watching out for us. He knows what will happen, and makes it so according to his plans for us, but that doesn't mean we don't have the power to change our fates for ourselves. It's like..."
She paused, then continued slowly, as if she was trying to order her words one by one.
"I kinda see it like whoever's up there... He's an author. Like me. Like a lot of us. And when you're an author, you build these beautiful worlds and these beautiful characters. You love them lots and lots, but at the same time, you aren't content to just leave them in their happy peaceful worlds. They won't grow that way. It wouldn’t be a meaningful story. So you orchestrate these grand conflicts for them to struggle against and make them face their personal flaws and trials, and through all that, the characters grow and mature and the happy ending at the end is so much more meaningful because of it. Only…”
She hesitated, stealing a glance at Dawn but unable to read the look on her face. Ah well, no point in stopping now.
“Only… once you make a character, they almost seem to take on a life of their own. You want to allow these characters to say in character, even though it means that entire plot points might get completely derailed by their actions. And you, the author, see this, do a little loving sigh, because of course they did that and you never really expected them to do otherwise, and then pick back up the plot point, dust it off, and find a way to make it still happen without making those characters break character. You know what's going to happen, and your characters cannot change that, but they can change the course of their own lives in ways that you might not always condone but are still beautiful and unique and wholly them."
A deep breath. A nervous laugh. Why wasn’t Dawn saying anything? Why was she still talking?
"So… yeah. I guess that's how I view whatever being is up there, watching over us. He knows what's gonna happen, guides us in ways we don't always understand, and sometimes throws us a little deus ex machina moment to help us along, and we call those miracles... but he doesn't ever stop us from choosing the paths that we will take ourselves. Discourage us from them, maybe. But never stop us. And the whole time, no matter what trials we face, He's up there orchestrating them- not just for the finale of some grand, noble story of growth, redemption, and victory at the end of it all- but for our own personal growth into the best versions of ourselves that we might eventually become, if we strive to let that version of ourselves shine through."
Emily flopped back onto her cloak on the ground, looking up at the starry sky that had Dawn so captivated. "I'm not sure if that answers your question or not... but yeah. That's what I believe."
The silence stretched on into the night, until finally, it was too much for the bard. "Was that too much? Sometimes I get lost in my own head and say too much and then people get uncomfortable."
Dawn shook herself slightly, seemingly pulling herself out of some deep thought, and smiled softly. "On the contrary. That was lovely."
"Heh, thanks." Emily smiled back, her gaze returning to the night sky. "I guess I'm just used to most people just... spending so much time arguing over fate or destiny or deities or whatever and blaming something else for their problems that they don't stop to ask themselves what they can do about it. How they can help.
"Some people make things far too complicated...so they don't see what's right in front of their face."
“Exactly.” Emily rolled over to face Dawn, like two adolescents sharing secrets under the stars. “That's the heart of why I started all this, I guess. I looked at a problem, realized that I had these skills, and said, 'okay, so this is how I can help.' And then I did that. No dramatic heroics or anything like that. Just… finding a way to help. ”
“Sometimes, the little things are all you can do.”
"Yeah… in a way, that strange simplicity of it all, it’s almost a comfort. Things might be hectic and war-torn and terrifying right now, but heaven knows, that's nothing new. We look back on the good times, but the truth is, there were bad times then too. And if we can find the good parts now, we can get through the bad parts that may come later… whatever they may be."
"It's almost a new year, I suppose we'll find out soon enough."
"Whatever the future holds, I think we're all gonna see our fair share of both before the end. Good friends and bad enemies and who knows what else." Absentmindedly, the bard scratched at a scab on her forehead, a remnant of her harried ride through the brittle shrubbery of House Jackie a few weeks prior. "I feel ready to face it. Maybe not ready to win. But ready to start trying."
"That's all we can ask for." Pensively, Dawn rubbed some soot off the stick and onto her fingers, tracing idle shapes on her skin as she stared up at the sky.
“And what about you? What do you think? About fate and our chances in this war and all that. You've been here longer than I have, after all.”
“The enemy keeps evolving every day, and while I do believe we have a chance, it only comes when we ourselves evolve and grow.” Stabbing the stick into the ground, an edge of frustration crept into Dawn’s voice. “The time for blind attacks is over....we lose too much doing that in the first place."
The bard nodded solemnly. "I agree. The Enemy has always been patient and cunning first and foremost, and in response, we rush to conclusions and answers. He is slow and silent, we are loud and constantly active. The Watch has always been extremely reactive rather than preventative, simply because we can't predict what we don't understand. The Enemy knows this, and I think he's trying to trick us into not reacting. But if we can't prevent things and we refuse to react... we would be doing nothing. We need to find a way to react with clear intent, not blindly shouting in the dark."
"He's always been a...bit of an attention seeker. But looking away only invites him to do more."
"Exactly.” Emily’s eyes shone; clearly, she had been mulling over this for some time, waiting for someone to ask her opinion. “Personally, I think we need to aim for an easier game. He's trying to win, and we probably can't beat him. But if we might be able to force a stalemate. That's an easier goal and that might give us enough of an advantage to succeed."
Dawn smiled, laughing silently at the bard’s youthful enthusiasm. "One thing at a time." She looked up at the sky, breathing the winter air for a moment and collecting her thoughts. "Someone...close to me once said that the enemy thrives on fear, and the attention he gets from that fear. We just have to show them we are not afraid."
Emily snorted humorlessly. "Easier said than done."
Dawn glanced sharply at the watcher beside her. "That's what I just said." She chuckles, a sad undertone lurking beneath her amusement.
"Haha, well you know me; my short term memory isn't the best. The gremlins got my brain as a kid and have set up camp there ever since."
Dawn laughs, a bittersweet sound of both hope and memory. "You sound like....someone I knew."
"I get that a lot," Emily laughed, noticing the funny little pause in Dawn's voice but not registering it as anything of note. "Apparently I've got a very... I dunno. A specific quirky personality. Simultaneously too young yet too old, too focused yet not focused enough, too quiet yet too intense, all at the same time. Everyone's complicated, but it seems most people are all complicated in a way that doesn't contradict itself. It makes people like me and your friend much more noticeable. I think. I don't actually know. But that's what I guess."
Emily took a deep breath; she had said all of that very quickly. "My mom used to scold me for saying things that I think are true as if I know they are true, so I’m trying to correct myself."
Dawn nodded absently, yawning as the fire began to wane. "You're very...strong in your beliefs."
"Well, if you don't know how the world works, how are you gonna know what the right choices and answers are?" Emily shrugged, completely ignorant of the tangent she had just jumped upon. "Even if I don't actually know if my understanding is entirely true or not, I need to have some sort of certainty. Otherwise, I'm constantly immobilized by indecision and the pressure to get things right. I suppose that's still the House Schneeplestein in me, needing answers and all, but the nice thing about being in House Jameson is that no one cares so much if your understanding isn't quite perfect. You can have your own unique perspective on the world and, so long as it doesn't hurt anyone, no one minds. It's nice. Most of the pressure on me to get things right comes from myself now, not the culture I live in. I guess that my tendency to jump to conclusions and act all certain about them comes from a sort of anxious desire for an impossible sense of perfect certainty. Can't get that, so sometimes I subconsciously pretend that I have it."
Dawn found herself nodding again, somehow parsing the meaning behind the bard’s rambles despite her eyelids slowly beginning to droop. "I think that mindset is very common, even among those you'd never expect."
Emily chuckled. "I guess. I dunno. Seems like I'm worse about it than others. That, and a lot of other things. But it's okay. I'm learning and growing and right now the Watch seems to be a good spot for me to do that. So here I am. Learning and growing and being an adult."
“We… we’re all still doing that,” Dawn yawned. “Don’t worry.”
The young bard pondered that for a moment. “Thanks. For bringing me out here… and listening. I needed that.”
The quiet snore in response brought a small giggle to Emily’s lips as she sat up and poked the fire. “Fair enough,” she whispered, “first watch is on me.” For the first time months, she actually didn’t mind the idea of sitting quietly with her thoughts for a few hours.
In case any Watchers were not there in the Twelfth Month of the Year One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirteen when the enemy’s battle song was heard coming from the king’s castle. Yes, this post is way late, but I figured it would be good to have this saved for later reference if necessary.
Real World Source: Jacksepticeye’s Instagram Story 12/15/2018
I swear to god, I wish I was joking right now. I was making ANOTHER MAP when the enemy sent every single one of us a clear message this afternoon. For those of you who have yet to see the message, I have transcribed it below:
There’s no real way to end this, other than... you have to stop watching. You have to do it. Otherwise I’m just going to be here.
You have to be the one to go. You have to be the one to leave. I can’t end it for you. You’re going to have to do it, you’re going to have to take the power into your own hands.
You’re going to have to end it yourself. Don’t mind about the rest of time that will come after this. Don’t even consider it. Don’t even look to see how much time is left. You are going to have to quit it.
Can you give up your calling? Can you stop? Or do you have to watch?
Every day, do you have to be here? Do you have to watch, every single moment, right until the end?
Do you have a problem? Do you have a problem with watching? Are you watching too much? Are you getting that watch time?
You’re going to have to do it. You’re going to have to leave. You’re going to have to take matters into your own hands for the first time in your entire life. And you’re going to have to do it.
Otherwise, I’m just going to be here.
I’m just going to be here all the time.
Staring.
Watching.
Waiting.
You haven’t met me outside of tales before. How do you know I even exist? Or if I’m not just existing here, in the stories you watch for... forever. How do you know I’m a real person?
You don’t.
The only thing you know, is how to stop watching. Right now.
*the next three inches of the parchment are completely blank*
Still here I see?
Very good.
*another empty section of parchment*
You can’t do it, can you? You can’t just stop the watch. You have to stay. You have to watch. You have to know what happens. Just in case something’s hiding, something’s lurking. Just in case you miss something.
You have to be in the know.
You have to know what’s going on, don’t you?
You can’t just let it go.
You can’t just move on, otherwise it will always be in there. Scratching at your brain.
“What happened when I stopped watching? Was there more?”
How many of you stopped watching, then began again? Just to see what was happening?
Because you can’t do it. You can’t be left out. You can’t just move on from things. You have to know what happens. You have to be here to watch it all.
*another empty space*
You passed the test.
Now let’s move on to the next-
*the rest of the page is torn away cutting off at the exact same phrase for every letter received throughout The Watch*
I think we all know what this means. The enemy is calling us out. Somehow, some way, our watch is making him stronger. Maybe by giving him a worthy foe, or a constant opponent to test and improve his skills against like a whetstone. Maybe simply through giving his evil pride the validation he craves.
Regardless, we cannot stop The Watch. It would be foolishness beyond belief. Even if the enemy really would become bored with us and leave our kingdom to its own devices, in the end, our own demise will be just as assured. After ten years of our constant vigilance and ceaseless drive to bring peace, stability, and understanding to the land, The Watch and this kingdom are inexorably linked together. To end The Watch would be to cut a vine off of a tree that have tangled together for centuries. Though the tree might have been safer and healthier if the vine had never been introduced, it would crumble under its own weight without the vine’s tangled support keeping the tree standing.
We cannot end The Watch. Even if this means we are playing into the hands of the enemy, we cannot stop now. If anything, we must now keep the watch harder and more vigilantly than ever before, for if one thing is certain, it is that there are dark days ahead of us.
I will return soon with as much information as I can find.
Fearfully,
Bard Emily Keyes, Twelfth Month of the Year One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirteen.
Bard, rolling out of her chair where she had fallen asleep after THAT happened last night: Anyone... anyone wanna see a goddamn MAP? You know... the one I was making... while... *yawn*... while THAT STUPID... CREEPY...
Bard: ...
Bard: ...
Bard: *YAWN*
Bard: ...
Bard: I forgot what I was going to say. I'm to tired for this crap. ANYONE WANNA SEE A MAP?
GOD DAMMIT YOU STUPID EVIL TURTLE, I WAS MAKING A MAP!
The distant scream echoing across the barracks when the local bard finally opened the "Urgent Message" that she had been ignoring on her desk for the last two hours; Twelfth Month of the Year One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirteen
Well, seems the enemy has caught us unawares once again. At the very least, he sure caught me by surprise; I was making a map when I received the news and didn’t notice until a few hours later.
For any Watchers who haven’t yet heard, the song played by the enemy’s forces on the night of The Overnight Defense exactly ten years ago, Silent Night, was heard coming from the King’s Castle this evening by a large portion of the kingdom. This was not a clue hidden by our foes, but an open declaration- of what, we do not know. We can only assume that the enemy has a hand in this, though it is unclear how.
At the moment, The Watch is unsure whether the music coming from the castle walls is simply a threat to scare us or a harbinger of greater evils. Watchers are being deployed even as we speak to bolster the castle guards and investigate the source of the music. However, Watchers from House Marvin have noted that the music is likely magical in nature, and it is unlikely we will discover any further clues. Even so, we must do everything in our power to Keep The Watch against the enemy, here and now, on the very night we first repelled him from these very walls.
With Anticipation,
Bard Emily Keyes
Written to Fellow Members of The Watch in the Twelfth Month of the Year One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirteen
