I’ve been having terrible dreams the last month or so, just really awful, unsettling things that stick with me all day long and leave me feeling all foggy and disoriented. One I remembered vividly was shooting heroin with my ex. It was so vivid, and it stayed in my thoughts longer than I’d like to admit. Other dreams I could barely recall other than the feelings of dread and shame they’d leave me with.
So I made a spell jar for better dreams and placed it under my pillow, and I feel like it’s genuinely helping. The small bits and pieces I’ve been able to recall this past week have been a lot more pleasant and peaceful.
Last night’s dream though- last night I dreamt of my ex again. This is kind of fucked up, but I remember a mutual friend I haven’t seen or spoke with in a long time approached me and asked what I did to my ex, that he was in hysterics and was begging him to see if I’d talk to him. I felt annoyed but said okay, and he like crept in the room, tears streaming down his face, he was miserable and wanted me back. I felt grossed out and just disgusted at the sight of him. I don’t have any idea how it got to this but he ended up curled up on the floor naked and crying and I remember feeling so much bigger than him, empowered even. This all sounds so fucked up as I type it out, but when I woke up I felt way better somehow. Like the other dream about him brought so many memories back, and in this dream I got to very dramatically carry out some sort of subconscious vengeance that felt super good.
Wish I had a therapist lmao
